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Happy Easter everyone! Today I wanted to give everyone a look at the finalized patch notes for the upcoming x.4.1 update! There's a lot to talk about, so let's just jump right in.

The Company - 5.4.1

System Changes

  • Due to Patreon's increasingly stringent content guidelines, all references to blatantly or potentially inappropriate actions have been replaced with tamer, yet still saucy, innuendos.
    • "Sex" is now referred to as "Snugglebunking"
    • "Oral Sex" is now referred to as "Special Kissing"
    • Actual "Kissing" is now implied rather than explicitly shown
    • "Hold Hands" is now no longer alluded to in any way, shape, or form. Mentioning hand holding in any capacity will result in a warning, then a ban, then a spanking
    • "Spanking" is okay. It's how they learn
  • Willpower, Intelligence, Masculinity, Femininity and Corruption are all returning to the game!
    • Each stat can be increased and decreased naturally simply by playing through existing content
    • They still have no actual impact on the game
  • Cats have been added to all public and residential locations
  • The Strange Cat Collar bought from IMAGE can now be given to all cats. You're welcome.
  • Cities created in SimCity 2000 can now be imported into The Company!
    • Give your office branch, home, coworkers' apartments and other locations a real presence to add immersion to your playthrough!
    • Compatible with SimCopter
    • Not compatible with Streets of SimCity
    • Requires at least 16 MB of RAM and 15 MB hard drive space
  • A new GACHA system has been added to The Company!
    • A new Rare Employee Merchandise box has been added to the lab
    • By spending 5 Magic Serums, you can open the box to find rare items such as stat-boosting serums, cosmetics, and caches of cash!
    • Magic Serums can be purchased with real money from the new Company Universal Currency Kiosk at our website!
    • Stat-boosting serums are the best way to increase your willpower and intelligence! Be on the lookout for special promotions!
  • Due to some confusion in regards to when certain actions can be performed, 5.4.1 will see the addition of the new Networked Assistive Virtual Interface, or "NAVI" for short
    • Your Navi will be forced upon given to you at the beginning of the game, offering advice, suggestions and help every time a new page loads
    • Navi will include helpful sound-bytes so you never miss a tip
    • Navi is not optional
    • Navi can, however, be replaced with Fi via purchasable DLC
  • Willpower, Intelligence, Masculinity, Femininity and Corruption are all being removed from the game

Transformation System Changes

  • The dynamic transformation system has been removed from the game
    • Seriously guys, it's just too hard to balance
    • I mean it, it's not fair!
  • New locations Hospital and Therapist Office
    • Players can now pursue varying degrees of assistance to help them along their path to find their true selves, ultimately culminating in professional SRS at the new hospital location.
    • I mean, seriously? TFM serums that change your gender? Jesus...
    • It's almost as bad as Senzu Beans...

Story and Character Content

  • With the latest release, The Company has now reached 10,989,421,011 words
  • New content has finally been added for Ms. Dee
    • You may now occasionally see her while walking down the hallway
    • More coming after the next next content vote!
  • Due to the overwhelming popularity of the decision to make Tasha a transsexual character, all existing character are now transsexuals!
    • Sophie, Diana, Ava, Dakota and Penny now all have male genitals
    • John and Chris now have female genitals
    • Tasha herself is now a man
    • The shop clerks have been made into talking gorillas 
    • Players can still choose their own gender
      • For now
  • Since all Humans share DNA on some level, Ava and Dakota have been rewritten as xenomorphs, just to be safe
  • Chris has officially been replaced by Lenny as the player's consensual M/M relationship option
    • And possibly the CEO of The Company?
    • And the player's long lost Father?
  • Chapter 3 will see the conclusion of the main story line in The Company
  • There will be 15 difference endings available
    • The ending you get depends on several factors, but primarily when you decided to fight Lavos

Image Pack Support

  • The Company now officially supports image packs!
  • Unfortunately, the default "Real Model" image pack can no longer be offered in any official or unofficial capacity
    • The models called my personal cell and requested I stop using their likeness
    • Seriously, each one of them! Penny Pax, Tasha Reign, Ava Addams... My phone was blowing UP yo!
    • They were like "Westane, just because we spent all those AMAZING nights together in your totally sick mansion that you own, doesn't mean you can use our readily available pics! Still love you! We'll talk tomorrow at your party for rich and sexy people for charity party. Kisses!"
    • Really. We talk.
  • To make sure all tastes are taken into account, The Company will ship with three image options
  • For those who like to be wrong, you can play without images, if you want...
  • The default option will, of course, be the universally loved artwork created by RD, as has been previewed over the last several weeks
  • For those with more refined tastes, I'll be including the excellent "Weeaboo Pack", which implements the following changes:
    • "The Company" is now "The Afterschool Club", and you and all your peers are now in Cromartie High School
    • Ms. Dee is now Sophie-sama, and is the school chairwoman. Played by Meiko Shiraki
    • Ava and Dakota-chan are now Yukari and Miyuki Takara (No relation, to you)
    • Penny-chan is Yoko Littner
    • Diana-sama is now Sakie Satou (IE, my waifu)
    • Tasha-senpai is now Shizuka Marikawa
    • John-senpai is now Shinji Matou
    • Chris-kun is now Saitama
    • The drivers, Mick and Jag, will continue to be Rude and Reno

Please look forward to this upcoming update!

Comments

Khinzaw

Got to Sim City 2000 before I realized.

Anonymous

I read it all and my brain hurts now. Funny, but painful

Anonymous

This reminded me how much I want a remake of Simcopter.

nghtmr103

lol Happy April Fools to you too Westane ^_^

chris

i got to the hand holding part and i was like nope this is an april fools joke.

Nyrreah

Damn, what a April's fool

Anonymous

Hilarious. I was laughing so hard. Ty

Anonymous

This is the greatest thing I've read... Is it bad the weeb pack actually got me excited? I think it might be...

Vasadariu

Please make a quick little dream event or something with some of this stuff in it. That would be extremely hilarious. Also happy Easter.

SomebodyElse

I had forgotten it was April fools, was very confused :D

Anonymous

Id like more Cats :D

Twisted Kidney

Even your April Fool's patch notes are majestic.

HaikenEdge

Putting a cat collar on cats might actually fit in the fetish of some people.

DramaCoach69

Patreon's changing content guidelines struck the right cord and was so close to true your April Fool's joke really hit the mark. I can deal with talking gorillas at the mall, but what about their genitals? Well Done, Westane!

Anonymous

at first I was concerned...

Anonymous

I'm actually very excited about all these changes and cant wait for the release.

Anonymous

Only question I have is what do I have to do to get invited to your charity party.

Echo Hollow

This is wonderful. I've always had a Lavos fetish, and now I finally get to play it out. I'm going to stick my Masamune right into his spiky maw! :D

Lictor Magnus

The Lavos line was nerdy comedy gold!

Anonymous

Aww yeah, nothing but Japanese dickgirls with the right pack combo? Sign me up!

ZULEYKA GAMES

wow, "special kissing" it sounds gorgeous! Stunning patch notes!

Wandrer

LOL nicely done :)

Anonymous

"Cities created in SimCity 2000 can now be imported into The Company!" LMAO, if only.

Anonymous

I would play this update in a heartbeat if I knew that SimTower was compatible too.

ExDee

I'm impressed by the level of application of this April Fools joke :D

Anonymous

Can't wait to fly my chopper to work!