High Tide, Chapter 45: Family, Duty, Honour (Patreon)

Sixth Moon, 109 AC

Jacaerys

They had left King’s Landing within a day of his altercation with Daemon. His mother and Lucerys had refused to speak to him at all the day they returned to High Tide and even after that their few limited interactions had been curt and cold.

He wasn’t exactly sure what his younger siblings thought. Daeron and Laena were certainly upset about his recklessness and their consequential separation from their friend Aegon but they seemed to be supportive of him against Daemon overall and they were not angry at him like his mother and twin were. Much like his father however, there was an undertone of disappointment that he sensed from them. Like he had failed to live up to their expectations of him.

Jace hated that. He hated that he had failed, that he had been so reckless, so easily riled up by Daemon. It was obvious from the start that it was never going to end well; Luke saw it so easily but like the fool he was he’d rejected his brother’s advice, thinking he knew better. Now everything was ruined. His father and younger siblings were disappointed in him, his mother and twin were hurt and refusing to talk to him, and he had cemented Daemon as a lifelong rival and knowing his luck, poisoned his eventual marriage to his daughter on top of it.

For someone who prided himself on being the perfect heir with such great ambitions for his house and its future, Jace had failed utterly to live up to even his own view of himself. He was just a fake, a pretender. Someone who had deluded himself into thinking he could actually dare to match the accomplishments of the Sea Snake and Sea Dragon yet had failed when the first real test was put before him.

A knock on the door broke him of his brooding. Jace rose from where he had been laying listless on his canopy bed and answered the door. His father’s visage was waiting for him when he opened the door. Jace sighed. Had his father’s lecture finally come?

Instead his father said. “Get ready, we leave in an hour.”

Jace furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Get ready for what Father? Go where?” He asked.

“A little sailing outing. Just you and me, like old times. You’ve been shut up in your room for three days already. Time to get some fresh air,” he answered before he turned and left. “Don’t be late!” He ordered as he walked away.

Shaking his head, Jace readied his gear and packed his things, years of experience teaching him what was needed for a sailing outing. Making his way down to the private pier moored at the base of the cliffs High Tide stood upon, Jace heard his father arguing gently with Ser Jaremy, the Lord Commander of the Tide Guard.

“Your Excellency please, I must insist. At the very least take one of us with you!” Ser Jaremy pleaded.

His father shook his head. “No Orange. It’s not that I don’t trust you or your fine men, but this particular excursion is solely for my son and I. The Velaryon fleet patrols these waters and if you are so worried, feel free to take the other yacht and follow along behind us. Besides, I doubt we’ll have anything to fear with her in the sky,” he finished, pointing his chin upwards.

Jace looked up and smiled for the first time in days seeing Tessarion gently gliding in the sky. Was she worried about him? How sweet. He’d be sure to give her a treat once he got back from this sailing outing his father had forced on him.

Sighing again, Jace boarded the yacht with his father and helped him unfurl the sails to get it moving. When he was younger, Jace’s father had taught him and all of his siblings how to sail, insisting that though they had dragons, they were born to ride the waves as much as they soared in the skies. They would join him on the Sea Snake and learn how to sail from him and his crew, even Laena had learned to some extent. Luke and him had even captained ships before but they had never gone on truly lengthy voyages. Tyrosh in the south and Wrensgrace in the north were as far as they had gone and they had no particular desire to go any further without need. Out of all of them, Daeron took to the sea the most. Between Daeron and his cousins on Vaemond and Aurane’s side of the family, House Velaryon would not be lacking for great mariners, explorers, voyagers, and admirals for the next generation.

As the yacht sailed out from the dock, Jace adjusted his grip on the ropes with his father to change their bearing a little so they could sail west into the safer calmer waters of Blackwater Bay rather than venturing out too far into the Narrow Sea. They turned north from High Tide instead of southward toward Spicetown and its port traffic, seeking out idyllic scenery and peaceful quiet.

Begrudgingly Jace would admit he was enjoying this, even if it had initially been against his will. After they had learned how to sail on a large ship like the Sea Snake, his father had taken him and his siblings, and sometimes even their mother as well, on family outings in the waters near High Tide or Tyrosh. Jace’s mood soured slightly remembering the current state of his relationships with his family members and he moved his thoughts elsewhere, preferring to dwell instead on the carefree memories of the past.

Whenever they went on their outings, they would go on a small but luxurious yacht that only needed a handful of sailors. It was less stringent and crowded than a carrack or galleon, a pleasure cruise almost. The yacht did require more attention from its few sailors to sail though so there was no room for slacking off like one might get away with amongst a large carrack crew. On the other hand, the yacht was also much simpler to handle than a carrack to begin with, so it traded off Jace supposed… Was this what his father wanted? Get him away from his brooding so he could think about yachts and sailing instead? If so it was working.

They set a gentle course along the northern coast of Driftmark, waving to the occasional Velaryon naval carrack or galleon in the distance and watching the ever loyal Ser Jaremy and the Tide Guard following at some distance behind them in the other yacht. It had been quite some time since his family had last done an outing like this. It was quite fun to just do nothing for once. Normally Jace’s day was full of his training and duties and other activities, he so rarely allowed himself to be idle like this. It reminded him a little about how he used to spend his time with Cassandra; that had his mood souring again before Jace pushed the thought away so he could enjoy the idleness.

The peace and quiet did not last however. Eventually his father spoke up, still looking at the sails and sea. “You know Jace, sometimes you remind me a little of my brother Rhaekar.”

Jace perked up in curiosity at that. He knew he had met Uncle Rhaekar but he barely remembered the man, if at all. Only vague visions of a man that resembled his father greatly. He had died when Jace was barely two and his death had greatly hurt his parents.

“In what way?” Jace asked. His parents had told him and his siblings many stories of their Uncle Rhaekar, of how his death had motivated them to bring about the ultimate victory in Tyrosh and find his killer. But they had also spoken of what a loyal and dutiful man he was, and a truly brilliant steward whose administrative skills outmatched even his father’s. He wasn’t sure how exactly he was being compared to his Uncle Rhaekar though.

His father finally turned to look at him and he had a smile that was half an amused smirk and half a wistful recollection. “Not sure if you’ve heard the story before, but well there was a point where Rhaekar and I didn’t get along very well.”

“Why not exactly?” Jace hadn’t been unaware of this but it had never been explained to him in detail.

His father looked at him meaningfully. “We can call it a… inferiority complex if you would. Rhaekar was deeply envious of my accomplishments, he felt that nobody cared for his own hard work to serve our family, chafed at being in my shadow. All he wanted was to feel recognized, appreciated, and so he worked hard to prove himself to my grandfather, and later even to me, but no matter what I said I just couldn’t get him to understand that I did appreciate him and his service to our house.

He turned his head slightly, looking at the full sails and the small Velaryon banner fluttering in the wind at the top of the mast. “It wasn’t until I met your mother and heard her own experiences about being in the shadow of overachieving older siblings that I finally understood how to speak to him in a way that he would accept. For a few good years, we were close again as all brothers should be, until he died.”

“I see a bit of that in you Jace. Like Rhaekar, and like your mother, you have that same desire to prove yourself, to step out of the shadow of someone else and prove that you are just as worthy of being heard and recognized. Am I wrong?”

Jace shuffled; he wasn't sure he liked being read like this. “I suppose not. I… I have no epithet of my own. No trait that sets me apart in the eyes of others, not from my siblings, not from you and Mother. I am just the heir, and all my life I’ve strived to be a perfect one, but it feels like it’s simply expected of me. I want to be respected and honored in my own right, known for what I accomplished myself, for it to be remembered that I did my part in contributing to the legacy of our house.

His father nodded. “That’s an admirable goal Jace. Yet remember, so very many heirs cannot even maintain what they inherit. Even if you accomplish no great deeds of your own, it will be noteworthy enough if you maintain what you inherit.”

“That’s not enough!” Jace shouted. His father raised his eyebrow. Jace felt shame, shocked even at himself for raising his voice unjustly; he toned his voice down. “That’s not enough. You’ve said it before haven’t you? We shouldn’t measure ourselves against the mediocre and the bad, we measure ourselves against the greats. Maintaining what I inherit from you should be the bare minimum of my duties. If I want to truly be worthy, to have a legacy of my own, to be remembered, I have to prove that I can do more than just maintain what you built. I have to expand and build on it myself.

“Yet now, I’ve failed. I’ve done the one thing I swore I never would. I let you down, I let Mother and Luke, and the rest of our family down. How can I dare to even dream of being great when I cannot even honor the first thing that was asked of me? To not humiliate and disgrace our house and make things harder for us?”

His father looked at him, as if he was truly seeing him for the first time. “I take it back.”

“What?” Jace was confused.

“I thought that you were similar to your mother and Rhaekar, and while you still are, there’s someone else that you remind me of far more right now,” his father said with understanding in his voice.

“Who’s that?” Jace asked.

“Myself.” His father said seriously. “I’ve finally realized it Jace. Lately I’ve been wondering if I was missing something. Whatever was irking you, it did not seem to simply be you resenting my shadow like your mother and uncle resented the shadows over them. No you don’t resent my shadow do you? You want to be worthyof it, you want to grow beyond it. If I can surmise from all of this, your deepest desire isn’t to be free of expectations on you, or to be recognized for your dedication to being the perfect heir, no, what you really want is to surpassthat all and be remembered for something greater. You want to surpass me.”

“Can I not?” Jace challenged.

His father shook his head. “On the contrary Jace, I welcome the thought. If it is to be the son’s destiny to surpass his father, then what a proud father he should be.

“This is something that your mother and your uncles never fully grasped even as they tried to understand it, just as I could never grasp their own struggle as the younger sibling. It’s something that only rulers and heirs can truly grasp. It’s the ambition to create something great and leave a lasting legacy through your stewardship and rule. It’s a vision of a world you see, the world that you want to realize. And as this aspiring great leader, you take on all the hopes and expectations of others with pride and you seek to honor them, you seek to deliver them beyond their wildest dreams.”

“You understand,” Jace said, in awe.

His father was amused. “Of course I understand Jace. Do you think I could have gotten to where I am now if I hadn’t thought the same? You are exactly like me in this regard and I couldn’t be prouder. If you don’t mind, could you tell me your ambitions?”

Jace felt uncertain. He had worried for many years how his father would react but he had been forthcoming with him today, it was his turn to return the favor. And so he told his father what he had only ever confided in Luke and Cassie before; his dreams of a maritime empire that stretched across the Summer Sea, of a Triarchy reborn in his image and molded how he desired, of a House Velaryon that need not boast that it was the strongest, greatest, and wealthiest in the world because they stood so far above the rest that it was simply acknowledged as truth.

His father listened to all of his dreams with a pensive and thoughtful look on his face and once Jace had stopped he burst out laughing.

Jace grew annoyed and a little hurt. “Hey, these are my lifelong dreams! It’s not a laughing matter!”

His father paused. “I know, I know. I’m sorry. It’s just, wow. You are a bold one my son, and very ambitious. You can certainly rest assured Jace, you are far from an unworthy heir. There is not a drop of laziness and indolence in you. Quite the contrary you’re a little too eager to serve your house dutifully and see it grow. That is a problem as well though, it can make you hotheaded and reckless, prone to mistakes.”

Jace became despondent at that. It did not go unnoticed. His father nudged him to look up at him again.

“I would also say however, it’s a happy problem though for your heir to be too dedicated and eager to serve his family. You made a few mistakes in the capital, but that’s acceptable Jace. Everyone makes mistakes.”

His attempt to reassure Jace only worsened his mood. “They can’t be as serious as mine.”

His father grew annoyed then. “Not everything is about you Jace. You want to talk mistakes? You want to wallow in your misery about failing? Because let me tell you, your altercation with Daemon, your curtness to Jaehaerys, anything and everything you could have done in the capital that could be considered a mistake is still nothing compared to the mistakes that I have made.”

Jace looked up to his father and saw the grief in his face now; how haunted he was. “My brother died because I failed. Thousands of people who put their faith in me died or suffered hardship because I failed. I failed to see past my own arrogance, my own surety that things would go my way, that the world itself would bend to my whims and the people that trusted in me suffered for it. My ambition and ego had grown too large. I had had a chain of unbroken success and victory for far too many years and I thought I was unstoppable. I went further and further, hungered for more and more, never knowing when to stop, when it was enough, until one day I pushed too hard and bit off more than I could chew.”

He sighed and looked at him. “You may not agree Jace, and certainly your mistakes do not bode well for your relationship with several Targaryens in the future, but it is better I say that you make your mistakes now, and learn from them, instead of failing when it truly matters down the line.

“You want to be better than me right? Then do it. Surpass me. Succeed where I failed. It is all well and good to have ambitions, admirable even. But you must temper it with wisdom. Do not make the same mistakes that I did, I implore you. Have you even considered how you would fulfill your ambitions if House Targaryen opposed them?”

Jace frowned at that.

“You didn’t consider that did you? You dislike the Targaryens Jace, but you also take their inaction for granted. The one and only reason that they did not destroy us when we took Tyrosh, was because your mother was their kin, their daughter, their sister. They could not bring themselves to kill her, and so the rest of us were spared. The truth is, taking Tyrosh was a mistake.”

Jace protested. “How can you say that? Yes, we lost much, but we gained so much more. The mistake was in how we did it, not that we did it to begin with.”

His father raised his eyebrows. “Is what we have now worth my brother and the thousands others who gave their lives for it Jace? Is it really? Do you think I would not trade it all if I could have my brother back? And even if you are right, it does not change that by taking Tyrosh I drove a wedge permanently between House Targaryen and House Velaryon, creating divergent and contradictory interests. And when houses have interests opposing each other and they cannot reconcile them, conflict is inevitable.

“Do you understand Jace? We are dancing on the knife’s edge of a path to war and utter ruin. Your mother and I were so desperate to obtain peace between our houses because we both knew this. Even if we would have to swallow our pride and subordinate our hard-won independent territory in Tyrosh to the Iron Throne, it would all be worth it if we could buy a lasting peace for our houses, so that you and your siblings will never one day be on the frontlines of any war that may arise with the Targaryens.”

Jace was downcast. “Isn’t it too late for that now? Daemon and Rhaenys opposed a proper peace deal, and now he and I are lifelong rivals, spreading hatred and violence.”

“Maybe, maybe not. There is still a hope for peace, no matter how slim. That is why it is important that yours and Luke’s marriages to Baela and Rhaena Targaryen go forward. It extends the non-aggression pact between our families and gives our family two new riders and dragons. No matter the hatred between you and Daemon, he cannot act against you or he will be acting against his own daughters. It will buy us time, time to negotiate a final and lasting peace, or time to gain the strength needed to survive any future war.”

Jace’s mood was even gloomier. “Baela hates me now. I beat her father’s face to a pulp. I remember her glaring at me when we walked out from the infirmary. She’s twelve, young and impressionable; Daemon and Gael are her parents and they hate me! They will surely poison her against me if she isn’t already. Wouldn’t a failed marriage be worse for the family regardless of the non-aggression pact it may bring?”

His father sighed. “That is a challenge yes, but if everyone who stumbled on their first mistake refused to try again, humanity would never have left the caves. As you say, she is young and impressionable, and as Daemon’s grandfather influenced him against what his parents desired, so too will your Aunt Alyssa and Uncle Baelon influence Baela to at the very least give you a chance.

“You are the one that has to take that chance though and make her see beyond her negative impressions of you. Aemon has already seen to it that Baela and Rhaena will be visiting Driftmark and Dragonstone a number of times with their grandparents over the coming years until you wed when they are six and ten, so you will have many opportunities to meet in person. They will also be writing to you and Luke and I expect that you will write back. Try Jace, please, at the very least try. Our family’s very survival could rest on this.”

There was a thick silence between them for a while. Jace found himself overwhelmed by the seriousness of the matter. He had never even considered the possibility of outright war with the Targaryens and now that he did, it frightened him.

“Marrying Cassie was never an option for me was it?” Jace asked softly, finally understanding his mother and father’s refusal to let him marry her.

“No. Not unless the Targaryens refused to give even one of four possible brides to you. Cassandra is a lovely girl, and in any other life I would be proud to call her my gooddaughter and the future Lady of the Tides,” his father answered.

“But not this life,” Jace said.

“Not this life,” his father agreed.

Jace understood why it couldn’t be so, but that did not suppress his disappointment and grief. “I had hoped to marry someone who I could love and would love me as you and Mother do. With everything as it is, I fear that may not be possible for Baela and I, even if we could make our relationship cordial. A fool’s hope I suppose.”

“No Jace,” his father rebuked him. He sighed before he continued. “I know it may seem strange, but your mother and I were not as happily married as we are now. There was always a great friendship and attraction between us yes, and we fell in love very fast once we wed and had you and Luke, but that love was young and weak Jace. It was a fragile flower that needed protection and nourishment to truly bloom.

“When we spent all those years in Tyrosh, there were so many challenges that could have destroyed our marriage and poisoned our love for each other. We blamed each other for everything that was happening, for Rhaekar’s death. We said things that we shouldn’t have to each other, cruel words that we could never take back. It seemed almost inevitable that that flower would wilt and die.

“Yet we did not let our circumstances defeat us; we did not let it take our love from us. We worked for it Jace. We worked together to overcome our challenges, to forgive each other for our harsh words, to make each other better, and our love grew stronger from it.

“Take it from me, you don’t need to have a good relationship with your goodfather, and if you can at the very least build a partnership and friendship with Baela even if isn’t the passionate love you long for, that will be more than enough. Once she has a son with you, her loyalties will inevitably shift to our house. Who knows, maybe the love you desire may come later, it can grow between you in time as you work together to raise your children and lead our house. It is never foolish to hope for love Jace. What is foolish is being unwilling to work for that love.”

His father’s words rang true in Jace’s soul. They were words of wisdom, sensible, and learned from years of experience and hardship. All of them were logical and meant to comfort and teach him but they did not console Jace.

He had thought that he had known what he had to do to be a great leader for his house, but now he realized just how far he was from the mark. There was so much that he hadn’t considered, so much that he had been too blind and selfish to see. While his wiser parents had struggled and worried about the future of their family, of their very survival in the face of a possible war, Jace had been selfish; dreaming about love and ambition, too proud to see and fear the dangers his parents saw. Was someone like him truly worthy of leading their house?

At the despondent look on Jace’s face, his father softened his tone. “No one ever said being a leader was easy. It’s a path with difficult decisions and sacrifices. You are the future of House Velaryon Jace and if you want to see your ambitions realized and surpass me, this is something that you will have to become familiar with,” he said before he turned to adjust the sails as the wind suddenly changed direction.

“What if I’m not Dad?” Jace asked. His voice hitched in his throat as he forced the burning question out.

His father finished adjusting the sails. “Not what?” He said as he turned back to face him.

“The future of House Velaryon.”

His father breathed out loudly and Jace felt a sudden need to explain himself. “It’s just I couldn’t see so much of this until you pointed it out to me, when it should have been so obvious. How can I be a great leader for our house if I can’t even do this?”

“What did I say about mistakes Jace? It’s acceptable to make them. You’re young, barely even twenty years old. A man grown in the eyes of Westeros perhaps, but still so very young and still with so much to learn. It is not a failing that you didn’t know this, only if you make it one by refusing to heed my lessons now that you do know. So I want you to heed this one as well,” his father said as he walked up to him.

“As a leader, your first mission is not to be great. It’s to your family, your people, and your house. Your duty is to lead them to prosperity, your honor is their success. Personal glory is not something that you aspire for Jace, it’s something that comes along the way as you lead your house to a grand future.

“A true leader does not seek to be great. He’s called to it, and he answers. And if your answer is no, if you can’t do it, or you don’t want to do it, you’ll still be the only thing I ever needed you to be - - my son.”

Jace looked at his father, seeing the truth in his indigo eyes. He truly meant this Jace realized. He couldn’t resist letting a single tear fall from his eyes, overwhelmed by emotions. For as long as he could remember, Jace had always felt the burden of expectation. He had created a plan, an ambition to go beyond those expectations so he could finally be free of them. Now for a single, precious moment, Jace felt free of them, and he would never forget that feeling.

His father caressed his cheek affectionately. “I found my own way to it. I know you’ll find yours as well. I’ve never doubted that, and I never will.”

“Now come on. Help me with these sails,” his father said with a smile as he gestured toward the ropes with a tilt of his head. “We should be getting back to High Tide now.”

Jace smirked. “Aye, Captain.”

__________________________________________

Jace took a deep breath, mustering his courage before he knocked on the door. On his father’s advice, he’d come to apologize to his mother after they had returned from their sailing outing. He knew what he had to do, what to say, but he was afraid of how she’d react.

The door opened and his mother was waiting for him. He couldn’t read the expression on her face, it was like a mask of stone. “Come in Jace,” she said, leading him to one of the tables in the room. They each took a seat.

“Mother I… I would like to apologize, for my actions in King’s Landing, for disappointing you, and hurting you with my words, whether or not it was my intention.”

His mother smiled graciously. “Your father finally talked to you did he?”

Jace nodded with a smile. “Yeah, he forced me to go out on the yacht with him for a private conversation. It was… enlightening.”

He related what his father had told him about the dangers their house was in, and what he had learned from their conversation as a whole. He didn’t stop there however. Before he even realized it, he had related just about their entire conversation, feeling more at ease with his mother than he had in years. He confessed his ambitions, his fears, his doubts, both old and newfound after realizing how much he hadn’t seen, and how his father’s reassurances were comforting him but he still feared disappointing them both deep down, especially when the lives of their whole family were at stake. His mother listened to it all thoughtfully, silently, without uttering a single word.

When he’d finally finished and realized just how much he had revealed without intending to, his mother rose from her seat unexpectedly and walked over to embrace him. “Oh my boy, my sweet boy. You’ve carried this burden with you for so many years now haven’t you?”

Jace nodded slowly.

She looked at him, their eyes locked on each other, the eyes that he had inherited from her. “I understand now what drove you to be as perfect as possible, these ambitions that you hold to be great, and I am proud of you Jace. Yet I must agree with your father, he is correct in everything that he said. Temper your ambition with wisdom, and remember that the quest for greatness is one that should never take precedent over your foremost duty to see to the safety and prosperity of your family and people.”

“I will Mother,” Jace replied, determined not to fail.

His mother looked down. “I was too harsh on you in the capital.”

“No Mother, you were right,” Jace admitted. He had been too reckless in the capital against Daemon.

His mother shook his head. “Perhaps, but I was wrong to hold it against you so much. No matter how reckless and foolish it was, you stood up for our house and you won. In an ideal world it would be praiseworthy.”

“But we don’t live in an ideal world.”

“No, we don’t,” she agreed as she returned to her seat, and then sighed, leaning back into it.

His mother looked a little sad and even ashamed. “I will admit Jace, I have always expected much from you. I gave up so much for your future when you were a boy that deep down, in a way I suppose I felt that you had to prove that you were worthy of everything I had sacrificed for you. And if this made you feel that you had to measure up, if it burdened you so much, I am sorry for putting that on you.

“Let me make up for it. You have to stop fearing that you are unworthy Jace. Whether you are or not, you will always be our son and heir and we will always love you, so put it away from your mind, and focus instead on being worthy, because you are, Jace. I am so very proud of the man that you’ve become. A hardworking heir, dedicated to the honor and prosperity of his house, dutiful to a fault, and so very ambitious and eager to lead his house to greater things.

"Yes, sometimes you will make mistakes, that is inevitable, but no one is perfect. Certainly not your father or I. Just because it cannot be truly attained does not mean that there isn’t meaning in trying to be perfect. It just means that sometimes when you fail, you have to accept that and just try again instead of beating yourself up for something you cannot change. Swear instead to never let it happen again if you can.”

His mother shook her head exasperatedly but also fondly. “You and your father are the same sometimes honestly. You both take on the weight of everything and think that you hold the sole responsibility for everything. A house does not stand on one pillar Jace. Trust in us, in your siblings, your cousins, even your trusted servants and soldiers. House Velaryon is not one person, it is many who work together for a shared goal. We are a family Jace, and if you stumble and fall, we will always be there to help you to your feet.”

“I’m afraid to fail. The stakes are higher than I realized and the consequences are dire,” he whispered.

“I know. Sometimes I worry as well, let my mind be consumed by my fears of what the future will bring. In my experience Jace, if you agonize too much over a future that has not yet come, it will cripple your ability to act now in the present. Whatever happens, whatever comes our way Jace, we’ll face it, together.”

“We could lose.”

His mother was wistful. “Your father said the same thing once, when Tyrosh was consumed by the Morghon riots. I told him that we’d do that together too.”

For the second time that day, Jace found himself overwhelmed by what he heard and touched by his parent’s words. In awe, he nodded.

They sat there for a few hours, just talking, like they hadn’t in years. Jace felt closer to his parents than he ever had, fully understanding why they thought the way they did, and feeling secure that they were proud of him, that they believed in him.

As dinner approached, his mother finally sent him away, but not before she warned him. “Jace, Cassandra is coming to High Tide. She should be arriving in time for dinner.”

Jace froze. He had been so absorbed in his conversations with his parents, he’d almost forgotten about her. The thought of seeing her again was filled with so much longing, but it was tinged with pain knowing that it could never be the same again.

“Very clever Mother. Dad and you decided to talk to me today knowing this, didn’t you?”

His mother only smiled knowingly but her face soon became sympathetic and consoling. “You know what has to be done Jace.”

“It doesn’t make it any easier.”

____________________________________________

He wasn’t proud of it, but he couldn’t bring himself to face Cassandra that night. They had traded the expected courtesies and niceties, but he had excused himself early from dinner, wanting to rest in his chambers after a long day. His parents had seen through his excuse but they had let him go, though not without looking at him meaningfully.

The next morning, Jace was on his way to the Dragon Den. He sighed, he knew he was being a coward. He knew what he had to do but he wanted to delay it as long as possible. Taking Tessarion out on a flight would let him avoid that fateful meeting just a little longer, but he should have known Cassie better than that. She was waiting for him in front of the stairs leading down to the Den.

“Jace,” she greeted him with a sad smile.

“Lady Cassandra.”

The smile faded away. “Never call me that, please.”

“It is only proper.”

“Propriety be damned. One last time, won’t you please call me like you used to? Speak to me like I’m your lover and not some stranger?” She begged.

Jace gulped. “Very well Cassie,” he acquiesced, wanting nothing more than to rush to her but he did not move.

Cassandra breathed out heavily. “It’s finally happened.”

“It has.”

“And you don’t intend to argue against it?” She asked desperately.

“I do not.”

Cassandra’s lips trembled. Jace wanted nothing more than to kiss her troubles away but he restrained himself. “You’ve always said the Targaryens were unreliable, that they wouldn’t give your family what they wanted. You were right. And yet you would take the King’s niece over his granddaughter? Isn’t that a slight? I thought you said you would fight for us if the Targaryens gave you a bad deal!”

Jace stopped her argument. “It doesn’t matter. It’s too important for my family to break that betrothal. I realize that now. I’m sorry Cassie.”

She turned away, unable to even look at him any longer. “My grandfather is seeking out a betrothal for me.”

“As he should,” Jace nodded.

“It’s not confirmed, but most likely I will be marrying Addam Grafton.”

“Our cousin is a good man. He will treat you well,” Jace said. Cassandra and him were both familiar with Addam from the many gatherings the houses in their alliance had held. He was their kin as well, with the three of them all being second cousins from their Celtigar grandparents. Jace would begrudgingly admit that Addam was a fine man, fine enough to deserve Cassie even.

“But he’s not you Jace! Some other man will take my maidenhead, claim me as his wife, fill me with his seed and father my children. That doesn’t bother you?”

“Of course it bothers me! I hate it, I hate the very idea. I curse these thoughts that you’ve put in my head.” Jace snarled, his calm façade broken at Cassandra’s provocative words. Just as she had intended. She knew him too well.

“So why don’t you do anything about it?” She demanded.

“What is there to do Cassie? I am betrothed, and you will be as well soon. I will always care for you, but this relationship of ours has to end for the sake of propriety and decency.”

Cassandra hesitated, she looked down for a moment before she took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. “Take me as your paramour,” she said seriously.

“What?” Jace was aghast.

“Some lords keep paramours so they can honor both duty and love. It would hurt having to share you with Baela Targaryen, but I could make do with that if it meant we could stay together.”

“And what would your family have to say about that!?”

“You are a dragonrider Jace. One day you will be the Lord of the Tides, Archon of Tyrosh. You greatly underestimate how much more powerful your family is than mine. It’s happened many times in the past. Noble houses will seek any advantage they can, any way to get the ear of the King, even if it means giving their daughters to him as mistresses instead of wives.”

“I’m not a king,” Jace denied, even if the idea of being one appealed to him.

“You will be the ruler of an independent city-state Jace. You’re as good as,” she countered.

The thought was tempting but Jace couldn’t entertain it any longer. His mother and father would be appalled; they had raised him better than this. Let other lesser men do as they would. He was Jacaerys Velaryon; he was not someone that would break his marriage vows and bring dishonor to his wife and house on a whim. What would his legacy be if he did that? He was also smart enough to know that taking a paramour would destroy any chance of a healthy marriage with his bride to be. That was assuming Daemon didn’t just use it as justification to break off the marriage entirely and Jace knew that his family was depending on it.

More than that, he found himself upset with Cassandra as well. “No Cassie. I will not do that. Have you no pride in yourself, that you would willingly offer yourself up to me as a paramour? You deserve more than that. You deserve to be a lady, with pride and dignity as you rule elegantly at your husband’s side. To be a true wife and for your children to be trueborn and have an inheritance. Not being someone’s whore in all but name.”

Cassandra began to grow wroth. “What is the point of pride when my love is lost to me?” She said bitterly.

Jace did not know what to say to that.

“You won’t take me as your wife, you won’t even take me as your paramour, what can you do for me Jace?”

He looked her in the eye and answered. “One last kiss.”

He had barely finished his sentence when she walked up to him and kissed him furiously, drinking desperately from him because she knew it was the last time she would ever taste him. She wrapped her arms around him, her hands behind his neck as she pulled him deeper into the kiss. Jace melted into her, but he knew he had to stop or he would never let go. He grabbed her hands and tore them away as he broke the kiss, placing his finger upon her lips as she gasped breathily.

“It was a dream Cassie. A sweet and beautiful dream,” he whispered. “But it can never be anything more than that anymore. We have to let go.”

She sighed in misery. “I can’t say I’m surprised. I always knew you would choose your ambitions over me.”

“No,” Jace denied it. “I’m choosing my family.”

Cassandra looked at him, longing and despair writ all over her face, but also the slightest trace of pride. She nodded sadly before she walked away from him forever. Jace watched her leave, feeling his heart shatter. He had chosen family, duty, and honour over love. It didn’t make it hurt any less.

Once Cassandra was out of sight, Jace called out. “You can come out now. I know you’re there.”

Turning around, he saw his three siblings, each of them looking sheepish and guilty. He scoffed. He had seen them from the corner of his eye when he had spoken to Cassandra, hiding behind a corner near the staircase leading to the Den.

“Sorry Jace,” Luke said. “We were on our way to the Den. We didn’t mean to eavesdrop, we just – “

“Wanted to make sure I made the right decision?” Jace said bitterly.

As his siblings recoiled Jace relented. “It’s fine. I can’t say I blame you. Maybe even a few days ago I wouldn’t have but thankfully Mother and Father set me straight yesterday.”

He looked at his twin, still uncertain around him, and knew he had an apology to make. “I’m sorry Luke, for what I said in King’s Landing. You’ve never given me a reason to doubt you and it was unfair of me.”

“Think nothing of it,” his brother said smiling.

Jace turned to his youngest siblings. “I owe you two an apology as well. My actions may have strained your friendship with Aegon, and Laena, I fear I made your effort to get your betrothal with him harder as well. It won’t happen again.”

Daeron looked at him in shock. “Jace, you don’t owe us anything. Daemon was mocking our house. I would have gladly punched him myself. You gave up your first love for the sake of the family Jace. That’s worth more than any mistake you may have made with Daemon.”

“You’ve always been the best of us Jace,” Laena said, her voice full of admiration and surety. “I never doubted that you’d make the right choice with Cassandra, but actually hearing it is something else entirely. Your dedication and loyalty to our house is inspiring, and we are all grateful for it. We always have been.”

Jace swelled with pride at his siblings’ praise. Luke beamed at him. “You did the right thing Jace.”

He nodded. “Like you told me. Love is the death of duty, the bane of honor.”

“The grave of ambition,” Luke added meaningfully.

He could tell Laena and Daeron were curious what Luke meant. He had already told his parents, perhaps it was time to bring the rest of his family into the fold as well. But not quite yet. No, Jace had something else that he wanted to do first.

“Later,” he told them. “For now, since we’re all near the Den, care for a dragon race my dear little siblings?” He asked, thinking it the perfect way to loosen up and bond with his siblings again.

Laena had a glint in her indigo eyes. “You’re on!”

“Why are you two so slow?” Luke taunted as he and Daeron were already halfway down the stairs. Jace was shocked to see they had made it so far already.

“Last one to the Den is sweeping dragon dung!” Daeron dared

He and Laena looked at each other for a split second before they pushed at each other and raced down the stairs after their brothers, determined not to be last. Jace couldn’t help but laugh at his siblings’ antics and the absurdity of it all.

Giving up Cassandra had hurt, but as he looked at his three siblings racing ahead of him toward their dragons, Jace thought that it had been worth it.

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Author’s Note: A very family focused chapter! Hence why I chose the words of House Tully as the chapter’s title, the house may be irrelevant to High Tide, but their motto isn’t. Disclaimer, if you didn’t notice, I was heavily inspired by Dune 2021 for the last bit of Corlys’ conversation with Jace.

Also some unfortunate news guys, but I won’t be updating next weekend as the first of four papers I will be sitting starts on the 20th and the last is the 27th. High Tide will resume with Chapter 46 on the 28th/29th weekend so please stay tuned for that! It will be another Daeron POV!