Apologies (Patreon)

Hello people. 

I owe you a massive apology or at the very least an explanation for my absence.

This past month and a half has been very rough for me and my family. Things have snowball out of control for me a bit this time. 

I've been struggling with my mental health for a long while now and there's been 2 recent situations which heavily impacted me. One is very personal and I don't feel confortable discussing it here, the second one although easier to talk about, was very difficult to live through.
One of our dogs, the oldest one (17yrs old), had to be rushed to the vet 'cause of a tumor in her spleen. They removed the whole organ along with the tumor. The surgery went well but the postoperative period has horrible. I've never seen a dog scream in pain, she was constantly and desperately trying to burry herself in her bed, she would vomit all her meds, she couldn't stay upright, her hind legs would start buckling then crossing and she would fall every time she wanted to stand or walk a bit.
She had to be hospitalized 3 more times 'cause of the pain. We spent many sleepless night trying to care for her when they'd release her for the vet.

It was horrible watching her suffer like that and I feel terrible when I recall her screams and not being able to help her.
Last week she had a big improvement, she can walk, eat normally and her mood is slowly returning to what it was before! She is very strong and resilient.

I'm trying to get better but I think I need some kind of medication at this point 'cause I can't keep behaving like this. I want to be stable again. I don't want to isolate myself. I need to do things differently.

I'll post everything I has working on before and during my meltdown in a little bit. I'll also extend the duration of the reward links to try to make up for my absence in some way.

I apologize again for my shortcomings.