As if I didn't know already / Don't wake me up from this dream (Patreon)

"When I met you, I didn’t think you’d become special to me. I just wanted to be a good person and help someone who needed it.

You were sitting on a bench, crying because they made you want to die. And I just couldn’t understand what your parents had to do to make you so sad. I couldn’t leave you there. I didn’t fully understand how you were feeling, but I was sure that you needed to change, both yourself and the people around you.

I offered you my hand. I also needed a friend.

Over the next days I saw all the signs, the way you talked about yourself, how you said you wished you were never born, the look in your eyes every time we passed front a women’s clothing store. Your sad eyes every time you saw a pretty girl walking down the street.

You were afraid that I would reject you the same way they did. You thought you had no place in this world, yet you were desperate to find comfort, to hear someone say that there was nothing wrong with you. You were so desperate to talk, that you did it in your sleep. You shouted when you were awake, and you didn’t even open your mouth. I heard what you were trying to say without words.

I already knew you were not a boy, but when you told me, it was nice to know that you felt safe.

I was so happy, that I couldn’t help but want to see the real you. I wanted to see you smile, and that day I did after lending you clothes and doing your makeup. It’s true when I say that you looked beautiful.

I guess it’s no surprise, but then you fell in love with me. I just wasn’t ready back then. I loved you, just not like that. You were more like a sister to me, I wanted you to be close to me, but I didn’t want to break your heart.

I was hurt, and lost, and I couldn’t stay in one place. I didn’t deserve you. You were so pure and I was not, and I still hadn’t seen all the beauty there was inside you.

Over time I realized I could always come back to you, you always made me feel safe, you listened to me, you showed me your love by taking care of me and you did so much even when you thought you had no hope. I could be free with you, you didn’t want to chain me, and I slowly realized that, even when I was free to live far away from you, I liked more to stay close, and that I think is what love is.

I’m yours because I want to, because I love to see your dreamy eyes when you’re happy, because I love to make you smile, because I like all the cute things you have to say, because I know you want to be by my side me and you won’t leave. Because I saw changing through all these years, and I saw you become beautiful. I saw the changes in your body and your face, and how your turned your tears into smiles, and how you changed me too.

I love you, and I’m so happy I met you”