HALLOWEEN SPECIAL: Wolverine (Patreon)

For years now comic book superhero Wolverine has been one of the most popular Halloween costumes for men. It was pretty damn easy to see precisely why, too - Wolverine highlighted the most masculine features possible with just his very outer appearance, not even taking his gruff demeanor and gravelly voice into account.

Always thoughtlessly showing off bulging muscles and forests of body hair, Wolverine was assured in his masculinity and that appealed to a lot of men, especially those who wished they could be as confident in their bodies as he was. Then there were those who saw Halloween as an opportunity to show off their hard-earned muscles with an easy costume. Both type of men all fell under the same spell Halloween 2017 when a comic-book-nerd-turned-warlock decided to have a little fun.

Sick of fakers using Wolverine as a costume simply to show off their bodies, the warlock wanted them to understand and appreciate the character as much as he did. His spell would turn every single man who donned the iconic adamantium claws into the very character they had dressed up as, their bodies reforming and mind changing until they truly believed they were the X-Man himself.

Openly gay Olympic skier Gus Kensworthy fell under the spell's thrall, as did internet gamer Jeremy Dooley. By the end of the night they had established themselves as the true alpha men at their respective Halloween parties - their friends confused and ashamedly aroused by the slow transformation they had witnessed. Their five-foot-three frames could hardly contain their innate masculinity as their sideburns and stubble grew out while their muscles swelled with mutant power.

There was only one slight flaw in the warlock's plan. In his eagerness to make sure everybody who dressed up as Wolverine truly understood the character the way he did, he forgot to make himself exempt from the spell. As Halloween night progressed, his body swelled with muscle and hair began to sprout across his powerful chest while adamantium claws pushed out from between his knuckles.

By the next morning, the warlock was lost inside his own mind. He truly was Wolverine, as were thousands of other men across the globe who wouldn't be reversed any time soon without the warlock present to undo his spell. Then again, it wasn't like any of them were asking to be reversed.

Who wouldn't want to wake up as Wolverine?