Not sure if burnout, or what (Patreon)

Forgive me if I'm distant for a few days. I just learned my grandmother is going to lose her sight in the next year, and that's the last thing I needed to hear right now. 

I don’t really even know what the root of my problem is. I just hate my work. Everything I make looks like garbage to me and it’s affecting my ability to be productive. I can't even draw for myself anymore because I know I'm just going to hate it within a day. All I want is to make a living, but no one wants me to work for them. The person I look up to more than anything was already drawing his best-known/most successful work by the time he was my age, and was already drawing for companies and working on films before that.

Everyone I ask for advice just tells me to keep doing what I'm doing, as if I haven't been struggling to be seen by someone, ANYONE in the years since I went full-time. I can't even get a graphic design job, let alone get accepted for a zine or work at a con. I'm 26 and I already feel like I'm dying, like any day is going to be my last. I know it’s probably just a delusion, psychosis is a bitch, but I feel like I’m going to die soon. Within the next few years, at least. And I’m not going to be able to do everything I want to do with my work

I guess I’m just not good enough. I don’t have the skill or the drive anymore. I’m just gonna die before my day in the sun or live a miserable life where I never get noticed. 

...Maybe I just need a day or two to think.

I gave my meds to my roommate so I don't an-hero. See you in a couple of days.

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