Back to Work (Patreon)

So... how is everybody?

This post got so long I felt I buried the lead, so, first things first:

BLACK LIVES DO MATTER.  

Still with me? Good.

Sorry I've gone almost half a month without posting.  The latest developments in The Year That Will Not Get Better--the murders of three more unarmed African Americans at the hands of police or self-appointed vigilantes, and the understandable anger and rage that consumed social media and cities around the world, affected me emotionally in ways I was not prepared for.  For some reason I soak up negative emotion like a sponge, and the sheer amount of it this made me shut down in self defense.  In his state, drawing--especially the stuff I typically draw-- seem pointless and even wrong.  

Then there's the She-Wolf.  My primary OC, who back in 2016 I re-imagined as a woman of color.  The path that took me there is long and complicated and sometime I'll go into the details if people are interested, but that's beside the point here.  With what is going on in the United States right now, with what HAS been going on for centuries, do I, as a white man ignorant about experiences of black people, even have the right to draw such a character?  I've been using her for my cover images and my icons, because I've always seen her as my number one character.   Does she represent a genuine attempt to increase the diversity of my characters, a shallow token gesture to ease my guilt and seem more "woke," or flat out cultural appropriation?  These are questions I've been wrestling with.  They're the kind of questions many people are having to ask themselves.

So that's why I've been silent.  The whole thing has had me paralyzed.  (And that's on top of COVID, poltics, etc.)  But one thing I keep reading is that Black people have been dealing with fear and trauma everyday by trying to exist in a society not designed for them and they keep going.  That's way more severe than what I'm dealing with.  We need to learn not just from their struggle, but from their strength.  This series of images was done to help me through that, so I can tackle the work that needs done, both here and in the world.  Jan seems broken, but she takes her moment, pulls herself together, gets back up and puts that mask on.  That's the job of being human.

As for the She-Wolf, as you can see, she's not going anywhere.  I like the character.  I think she's cool.  I think she can bring some joy to others in this dark world.  And I will try to do right by her, and all of you.   I trust you to tell me when I'm not.

I am not a people person, and direct confrontation is not my strength.  But as I've read, there are many lanes in this journey and we need them all.  I will continue to try to educate myself, and I will be donating.  While the subject matter here will continue on the same themes, know that starting with last month's Patron pledges, a portion of the proceeds from this page and the commissions I do will be donated to organizations supporting the Black Lives Matter movement.  For May funds went to the NAACP and, in my own back yard, the Crispus Attucks Association.  Transformation art supporting systemic transformation--seem fitting.  Hopefully you are finding your own lanes too.

 For anyone in my elite group of patrons who may be Black or part of some other marginalized group,  I apologize for my silence, my avoidance, and my participation in this defective society, and I encourage you to let me know by comment or DM if anything I post on this page makes you uncomfortable, including (and especially) this post.  

I hate that this needs to be said because it's so obvious--but it does.  BLACK LIVES MATTER.  And please don't tell me "All Lives Matter"--when peaceful demonstrators are forcefully cleared out of the way so the government can stage a photo op, when states are abandoning COVID-19 precautions early more or less at gunpoint-- no, no they don't.

Not yet.

Thanks for reading.  Regular content will resume tomorrow.