Systematic Shinobi - Chapter 34.2 (Patreon)

Daiki being the ever generous, ever dutiful good buddy he was, carried Sasuke like a sack of potatoes over his shoulder to the infirmary.

The two chunin guarding the door of it, gave him odd looks, but didn't stop him, in fact, they gave him respectful bows of their heads. Probably because the pair of them were present when he was mouthing off at Danzo with the full support of old man third.

Finally some respect around this joint!

Once he closed the door behind him, totally not banging Sauske's head on the door frame as he entered, honest, he noticed that the place was empty.

The med nin on staff was out for whatever reason.

"Well, whatever," Daiki shrugged, picking out the nearest bed and walking over to it, "Sleep tight princess." he unceremoniously dropped the Uchiha onto the bed, his body almost bouncing right off the bed, before pulling the curtains around the bed around and hiding him from view.

Then he plopped down on the chair beside the bed and kicked his feet up on the infirmary bed, crossing his arms behind his head and relaxed.

                                                         ___________

He sat there relaxing for all of a half hour, before the boredom really seriously fucking got to him.

"…This is mind numbing." he groaned, head lolling back over the chair and looking up at the ceiling.

He couldn't even train in this place.

There was hardly any space with all the medical equipment, beds and shit around. Even making sure Sasuke was comfortable and covered up in the bed after dropping him on it for a laugh didn't do anything.

And he couldn't even leave this place, since he was guarding Sasuke, "I really need to get my hands on a gaming console or something." he groaned aloud.

Looking into it, he had found that indeed game consoles did exist in this world. Not ones that measured up quite to the ones in his memories, but he had found a few portable ones, the most up to date one being reminiscent of a game boy.

The problem was, they were pretty new in release, made by a company at the Crescent Moon Islands.

And they didn't sell them outside of there.

…So he would need to get a mission to head there to buy one. Which was a trip and a half for sure.

And beyond that, there wasn't even anything really interesting going on at the Crescent Moon Islands for him to pick up. The Crescent Moon Islands events that Naruto, Sakura, Lee and Kakashi all got involved in, didn't involve any particularly powerful object or chakra source.

It was just one dude using a team of ninja trying to take over the kingdom after killing the royal family.

'That might not be a bad idea on of itself to take care of though.' he mused with a sigh.

If he put a stop to it and got the gratitude of the royal family in place of Naruto, he could see about getting funding and shit from them for the village if him having to take over came to pass.

…Though if shit did go down like the other time line and old man third died in the invasion, he wouldn't exactly be able to leave the village himself to take care of it.

'Well, a clone could do it I suppose.' he shrugged, or a team of them hyped up by Isobu's chakra.

They should be capable of taking care of that nonsense.

…And then he could get trade open with the Crescent Moon Islands….and get game consoles sent over here.

"A good plan, but not really anything that eases my boredom right now." Daiki sighed, sitting up straight in the chair.

He cast a look at the Uchiha peacefully snoozing away in the bed beside him, and his expression turned deadpan, "Having a good rest I see." he drummed his fingers on his thighs.

If he was awake, at least they could banter to pass the time.

And neither of the two chunin outside garnered much interest from him. Now, if one or both of them were females, that might have changed, but such was life.

His eyes stayed focused on Sasuke. And with how bright the room was in the infirmary, he noticed just how pale the body was.

"Bro, you need a tan, we should hit up the beach or something for a vacation." he pointed out.

Seriously, the dude was as pale as a ghost, if he got any paler, he'd look like chalk white and ever Sai-like.

Honestly, his skin looked like a blank canvas.

…Wait.

A grin spread across Daiki's face and he held his hand out, with a thought, summoning his seal brush from his Dimension Force Seal.

He stood up and leaned over the sleeping Uchiha, "This is your own fault for falling asleep around your best buddy, I mean, it's tradition as well." he excused his future actions.

He gently swiped the paint brush over the other teenagers face. First, around the eyes, with a pair of black ink circles, connected by a lignn over the bridge of the nose.

Then, he went downwards, to just above his mouth. And drew a nice big long and curly moustache and curled around so much his full cheeks were black ringed.

"Heh, classic." Daiki laughed to himself.

Something was missing though…

"Oh right!" Daiki's eyes lit up, his forehead was empty.

He brought the brush up to his forehead and drew a nice, big long and thick inky cock, with a few little droplets of what looked like liquid shooting through the top and raining down over his eyes.

"Hahahaha!" Daiki erupted into pure amused laughter.

He couldn't wait to see his face when he looked in a mirror, or even better, if someone pointed it out to him.

…It would be way funnier if his fangirls that always squealed about how cool he was saw him like this.

But if he saw it in the mirror, he'd definitely clean it off with a Uchiha style pout before anyone could have a laugh at him.

And there was a mirror right at the entrance of this room.

Which meant his plan was doomed to fail.

"Guess there's no helping it then." Daiki shook his head, concentrating chakra into his palm.

He pressed his palm against Sasuke's head and focused, before pulling back a good thirty seconds later.

Now, there were a pair of lines connecting together and forming an arrow pointing down at the cock on his forehead. But it was mostly hidden by his hair and bangs.

Just another condensed seal matrix, though this was a mere combination of the Storage Seal and the Storage Return Seal.

With but a thought, he could make the ink go into the Storage Seal, and then make it come back out.

"This way I can hide it until we pass all the mirror then bring it out later!" Daiki mentally pat himself on the back.

He was such a genius.

And this was gonna be a riot!

'Your immaturity knows no bounds.' Isobu commented, deadpan.

'I'm bored, what do you expect?' Daiki shrugged, sitting back down on his chair.

'…And this is the boy in line to be the next Hokage, I fear for the future of this world.' the huge bijuu shook his head in dismay.

'If I become Hokage, let me tell you, mini skirts, booty shorts, cleavage bearing tops and compulsory Hokage lap dances are become mandatory.' he replied.

'….Exactly.' Isobu groaned, 'You know, I know you're playing it up, but I can feel how tempted you are to actually go through with that.'

Hey man, Hokage sounded like such a shit job after the initial benefits. He'd have to get some good fun out of it somehow.

And if he couldn't use the authority of it for someone like that for a laugh, then what was the point of it all?

Too much responsibility for little in return after the initial benefits, did not at all sound like a good time.

Of course there was the bet he had with Tenten going on…

He'd become Hokage just for that. 

                                                               ___________

Unfortunately, despite the brief amusement his doodling of Sasuke's face gave him, it wasn't long before he was back deep within the pitch black ebony pits of boredom.

Damn Orochimaru, if it weren't for him, Daiki would be free to grind away right now and pass the time in muscle burning training. But no, already he'd wasted three hours just sitting guarding Sasuke.

The funny thing was, that besides Kakashi or the Hokage himself, Daiki really was the best choice to guard Sasuke. If it came down to it, he was one of the very few capable of either beating Orochimaru or getting away from him.

So he couldn't even fault the logic of Kakashi leaving him to guard Sasuke.

Though he could sure as hell gripe about it to Isobu, to the huge turtles/tortoise's dismay.

It was a good chance to grind up his whining ability Daiki supposed.

Thankfully, something that could through the gloom of boredom broke him from his thoughts.

A groan escaped Sasuke's lips, the Uchiha shifting noticeably in the infirmary bed, before slowly, his eyes blinked open, clearing his exhaustion.

Thank fuck.

He released a silent yawn, before pushing himself up in his bed and rubbing his eyes.

Then his gaze shifted and fell on Daiki himself.

Sasuke blinked, before rousing fully, "…Daiki?" he mouthed, confused.

"Sup sleepin' beauty," he greeted the boy with a wave, "Have a good sleep?"

Sasuke gave him an odd look, "Why the hell am I waking up besides you of all people?"

"Cuz somebody needed to guard your sissy ass while you were out like a light." Daiki shrugged, grinning.

He blinked once more, before narrowing his eyes, "Since when am I a sissy, and why would I need your loser ass to guard me?" he challenged.

"Since you passed out, again by the way," Daiki shot back, "Well, as far as being a sissy goes at least. The reason I'm guarding you is because Pedomaru tried to come yoink you while you were out like a light so he could sliver up your ass and go all oonga boonga in your body."

Sasuke grimaced in disgust, "…That explains why I'm being guarded, not why you're doing it," he replied, "And do you need to be so disgustingly crude?"

"Yes," he shrugged, unashamed, grinning all the way, "And you already know why I'm guarding you as well, cuz' I'm one of the few people strong enough to beat his ass if he tries anything."

"Bullshit," Sasuke deadpanned, denying his statement, "You're strong for sure, but not that strong."

…Well, he wasn't wrong.

"I am if I use the full power of my Bijuu." Daiki shrugged again.

Sasuke's gaze became drier, "That's not you being strong enough, that's your bijuu you clown," he huffed, "And while we're on the subject, who the hell are you calling a weakling like you did earlier? The only reason you managed to do anything about the seal on your neck is because of your bijuu, relying on another, yet you were trying to say I'd be a weakling loser for relying on Orochimaru's power, which I won't, just saying, you're such a hypocrite Daiki."

"Do as I say, not as I do?" Daiki replied. The Uchiha merely raised an eyebrow at him, "The only hypocrite I like is myself."

"…Utterly shameless," Sasuke scoffed, before smirking at him, "After all that tough talk earlier, you're just as big a loser as you tried to make out I would be if I relied on Orochimaru."

Daiki blinked slowly for a moment, organizing his thoughts, before countering, "At least a snake man doesn't want to anally probe me like he does you."

"And you can never just let anyone get the last word in except for you," Sasuke rolled his eyes, before releasing a deep breath and sobering, his eyes locking with Daiki's own, "Still, thanks. For sticking around and trying to help, even if you can't do anything, it means a lot."

"That's fine, but I never really meant that," Daiki shrugged, "I just knew Orochimaru was listening in and didn't want him to know I actually could fuck that seal up just like I did mine and make it fine for you to use."

"…Oh." Sasuke uttered blankly, before sighing again, his gaze turning dry, "I really hate you sometimes."

"Nah bro, you love me," Daiki smirked, "Obviously I'm gonna do what I can to make sure old pedosnakeymaru doesn't get his slimy hands on you. I can't have him messing up our bromance."

"Another word I have no idea what the meaning of is," Sasuke replied blankly, "Do you just love talking gibberish or something?"

Silly Sasuke.

Daiki shook his head, but instead of explaining, he stood up to his feet and took a deep breath, before-

"You ma' homie! Yea ya' know me!" he broke out into song and sat down on the bed beside Sasuke, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and pulling him into a bro hug, before gesturing out widely with one arm, "And if you ever need a wingman, I'd let any girl blow me~!"

"I understood none of that except for the last part," Sasuke deadpanned, pulling out of Daiki's grip, "And considering you showed an interest in Sakura and Yamanaka, I don't think your standards can get any lower, so that's not really much of a sacrifice on your part."

"Yeah," Daiki nodded, accepting his words, "Well, you're a dickhead." literally. It was hard to take him seriously with the ink glasses, moustache and big ink dick over his forehead spurting ink jizz over his eyes.

Now he was going to laugh even more at Sasuke for his cheek. Who denied a bromance?

He deserved the doodles now.