Systematic Shinobi - Chapter 32.1 (Patreon)

Moments later, they arrived at Team Gai's room, and Tenten opened the door, directing him inside.

Daiki blinked at what he found.

'I kind of should have expected this.' he thought.

Neji was sitting on the edge of one of the three beds, the one closest to the wall and one that seemed to have been moved a bit away from the others.

…While Lee was doing one handed vertical push ups.

"Six thousand six hundred, sixty eight, six thousand six hundred sixty nine-" the bowl cut haired boy counted off to himself, before noticing his presence, "Ah, Daiki-san! Good to see you, how have you been?"

It seemed he'd gotten quite into a little bit of training over the past two hours while Tenten was with him.

"I've been good Lee, you?" he replied automatically.

"SORRY WHAT WAS THAT?" Lee suddenly shouted, "I AM AFRAID I CANNOT HEAR YOU MY EARS HAVE BEEN DAMAGED!"

Daiki rocked back on his feet, startled in spite of himself at the sudden…loudness.

Neji sighed irritably.

He heard Tenten face palm from behind him and then groan, "Please fix this idiot."

"He seems fine to me." Daiki shrugged, looking over his shoulder to the grin at the bun haired girl.

"You're not as funny as you think you are you know." she deadpanned.

"…Why does everyone keep saying that?" he rolled his eyes. First Isobu, now Tenten.

He was hilarious and people quoted everything he said.

'That has never once happened before, ever, and it will never happen, the only person who thinks you are funny, is yourself.' Isobu deadpanned, like the hater he was.

Tenten rolled her eyes right back at him, before stepped past and reaching down and palming Lee by the face, "I told you to take it easy until you got healed, didn't I you moron?" she huffed, and bodily picked him up with one hand and tossed him onto the bed.

"WHAT?" Lee shouted in question as he landed on the bed., "TENTEN THAT WAS NOT VERY YOUTH-"

She palmed him by the face once more, shutting him up, "Please…please just be quiet," she groaned, then turned her head to give him a pleading look, "Please fix him up so he can go back to his normal loud volume and not…this."

"See, I would…" Daiki trailed off and gave a shrug, "But my feelings have been hurt. I'm all depressed and as it turns out, my chakra control dips by negative sixty nine million percent when I'm feeling sad."

"Seriously?" she gave him a dead stare, "You're doing this because I said you're not funny?"

"Hey, what's with that look," Daiki smirked for a brief second before giving a mock gasp of pain and grasping his chest in an over the top manner, even making sure to stagger back a bit just to add to the show and force his legs to tremble, "I'll have you know I've been wounded in the heart, this is true emotional damage."

"I'm going to cut you." she deadpanned.

"Well, my chakra control is shot and now I'll have to worry about getting attacked, how am I supposed to use medical ninjutsu like that?" Daiki retorted.

"I hate you, hate you so much right now." somehow, her voice became even more dead. Like wow, if her voice was a corpse right now, it would have been in worse condition than Shisui's body.

"Ooof!" Daiki grasped his his chest even harder and stumbled back against the door, "The emotional damage just doubled, negative sixty nine billion chakra control now."

"WHAT IS HAPPENING!?" Lee tried to bounce up from the bed, only kept down by Tenten pushing down on him, "DAIKI-SAN MY FRIEND ARE YOU OKAY!?"

"…Tenten, just give him what he wants," Neji's head mechnically turned to stare at her, his somehow blank eyed gaze…becoming even more blank. He had some real skill with his eyeballs for sure, "Whatever he wants, just give him it, whatever will shut that idiot up, I'm this close to puncturing my own ear drums."

"…How is sixty nine billion doubled from sixty nine million, this is so stupid." she groaned.

"Your mind is just at a lower stage than mine I'm afraid, my brain exists in a higher dimension." Daiki replied, his lips twitching up into a brief smirk before he hid it again.

Tenten's eyebrows twitched.

She totally saw it.

"…Is that the dumbass dimension?" she snarked with a huff.

"OOOOF!" Daiki's legs 'gave out' beneath him and he slumped to the ground, limp.

"DAIKI-SAN!" Lee shouted, eyes wide in horror.

"…Is this truly my fate? How cruel." Neji rubbed his temples, trying to massage away what was no doubt quite the killer headache.

"…Alright, alright, I give up, you win," Tenten's shoulders slumped in defeat. The bun haired older girl closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she exhaled a few moments later and opened her eyes, a bright perky smile was on her face and she walked over to Daiki, hips swaying, "Daiki-sama~"

Daiki perked up.

He was actually quite surprised when Tenten boldly sat right down on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck, bringing one of her hands around to gently trail a finger daintily over his cheek, "You're so cool and strong Daiki-sama, I bet all the other guys around here wish they could be like you~" she simpered, "And so handsome too."

"This is all true." Daiki nodded, 'Though not gonna lie, wow, she can act really well.'

If he didn't know any better, he for sure would think he was dealing with a fangirl on the level of Sakura or Ino in their heyday of Sasuke simpery.

"And so humble~" she gave a tittering giggle, crushing the flash of exasperation that appeared on her face for a brief moment expertly, "Can you do me a favour Daiki-sama and please heal my dumb teammate? It would mean ever so much to me~" she asked, leaning forward to plant a quick, chaste smooch on his cheek, before pulling back to give him a pleading look.

His hands grasped her hips and in one motion he rose to his feet, "And suddenly I'm totally healed," he announced, "Sure, I'll fix up your teammate for you Tenten-chan, anything for a fan."

"You're the best Daiki-sama!~" she chirped, pressing another quick smooch to his cheek before letting go of him.

"TENTEN-SAN? DAIKI-SAN, WHAT IS GOING ON!?" Lee hollered, ruining the moment.

Tenten cringed.

Daiki laughed, walking passed her, "Don't worry about it leotard boy." he waved the bow cut ninja off.

He noted Neji was giving both him and Tenten a horrified look, his head turning from him to her and back again, back and forth, as if unable to understand what just happened, but disgusted all the same and not sure who to direct that disgust at.

He could see Tenten's face burning bright red in his peripheral vision, but being a generous guy and all, he didn't stare and make it worse, or comment on it.

Instead, he formed a single hand seal, of one of his most used jutsu and green healing chakra began to warm around his hands.

                                                            ___________

When he was done healing Lee, he beat a hasty retreat. Just to let Tenten calm down a bit.

She hid it well, but her embarrassment at simping for him to boost his ego to do what she asked, had hurt her pride a bit. And she knocked Lee the fuck out when he was still just as loud.

Like full on senbon tipped with a sleeping drug.

And stabbed him in the leg with it.

Well, it was fine, she could heal that much herself.

He wasn't afraid or anything of course, he just wanted to let her get her emotions under control. Honest.

…Okay so maybe he pushed it a bit far.

'I regret nothing.' Daiki grinned to himself as he returned to his room, closing the door behind him.

It may have embarrassed Tenten to put on that little act, but he got to see an all new side of her. So it was totally worth it.

'And all that because she said you weren't funny.' Isobu snorted.

'Clearly a lie.' Daiki shrugged. Just because everyone else had such low levels of humour, didn't mean he wasn't funny, it just meant everyone else was too dumb.

Clearly.

…Obviously.

'That's a bigger delusion than Shukaku thinking he can take Kurama on in a fight.' Isobu scoffed.

Hey, it could happen.

If Shukaku fought Kurama out in the desert, he'd have the advantage, and for as stupidly powerful as Kurama was, he was only at half strength now at best, so he wouldn't put it past Shukaku to eek out a vict-

'No, it wouldn't even be close,' Isobu cut him off, 'Even at only half capacity, Kurama would still have more chakra than the other eight of us combined, and while when it comes to you humans, more chakra isn't really a full indicator of strength, it's different for us Bijuu. The more chakra we have, the stronger, more durable and faster we are in general, and of course…none of us even come close to Kurama's destructive output with a Bijuudama. Even now, he could form one that could blow away an island and the entire surrounding area easily, Shukaku has no chance one on one, even in the desert.'

…Huh.

Granted, Daiki had a good idea of how absurdly strong Kurama was just from reference. After all, he did see Kurama in his first bijuu transformation with Naruto, beat not only his buddy Isobu himself, but Matatabi, Son Goku, Kokuo, Saiken and Chomei.

And even with all six of their Bijuudama's combined, Kurama still countered them at full power…after they had a head start in charging theirs over his.

…Poor poor Shukaku.

Ganbare sand guy.

'Well at the very least, he can take pride in being a Tanuki and having the biggest balls of all.' Daiki mused.

'…We Bijuu lack genitalia, I have told you this before, have I not?' Isobu snorted.

Oh yeah.

Poor, poor…poor Shukaku-chan.

'Indeed,' Isobu laughed, 'While we all have rather useful and powerful abilities, in the end, Kurama's raw power and strengths trumps the versatility we have over him. At full power, I would be lucky to last a few minutes in a fight against him.'

Kurama was such a broken cheater man. Nine-tails Op, pls nerf.

'I'd rather whoever you're pleading to didn't,' Isobu rolled his eyes, 'That overpowered strength will be vital in the future if things go to hell as you saw.'

Well…yeah.

But Kurama was a real dark spot. There was nothing Daiki could do to get him to cooperate with Naruto. His arrogance and hatred was just that high up there.

It would be up to Naruto himself to win Kurama over. If he even could this time around. The best Daiki himself could do…was maybe teach Naruto how to use his powers as a jinchuuriki.

'And that won't be a simple issue either,' Isobu pointed out, 'After all, I'm fully working together with you. He will have to wrestle mentally with Kurama to control the chakra and resist my brothers attempts to send him into a blood rage that will attack anything in sight.'

'….Have I mentioned how much I love you buddy?' Daiki replied. Seriously, he was so, so glad he didn't need to deal with anything like that.

'Fake and gay.' the huge turtle bijuu snorted.

'How can it be gay if you don't have a dick?' Daiki squawked, surprised at the internet meme suddenly thrown his away.

A dead one at that.

'Watching your memories through your subconscious and learning about your former culture is a good way to pass the time,' Isobu was completely unrepentant, 'Also, going by the logic of the culture in your former life, I 'identify' as male.'

'No.' Daiki replied simply.

'I do have to say though, your taste in literature and these 'anime' you liked to watch shows your poor taste,' the three tailed bijuu ignored him and continued on, 'You watched so much of these harem shows because of girls, but ground your teeth in a rage over the main characters because of how spineless they were. I suppose your lust for voluptuous girls and the childish dream of a harem overpowered your sheer dislike, especially of this, hmm who was it again, Tom Aolo?'

'Yes, that's his name,' Daiki replied instantly, blocking out any thought otherwise, 'Also again, we're not doing this.' so he disliked that the wimps that were never proactive or improved on themselves at all got all these grade A girls to themselves, sue him. He wasn't alone in that taste.

Rosario Vampire just happened to be the first ever harem series he watched through.

His biggest problem with them was that they were supposed to be your average joe. But they weren't. He was an average joe in his other life. And he was nowhere near as pitiful as those clowns.

'Hoh, are you embarrassed? How amusing, if I knew bringing up your horrible taste in entertainment was enough to do this, I would have done it much sooner,' Isobu laughed, amused, 'Though if it makes you feel better, I do believe you are much superior to the likes of this Tom Aolo."

You know…it didn't make him feel better.

That was like saying he was more interesting than a dogs turd, covered in flies, and having been baked under the sun for an entire day.

"…I think I'll get started working on my new seal." he nodded to himself. He had two days now until the preliminaries started. He was eager to add the power of Shisui's Sharingan to his Shinkugan.

Isobu's laughter echoed in his head.

Distracting him.

Damned turtle bro!