Buffy The Vampire Slayer - Primal: Chapter 1 (Patreon)

Candidate Candidate. Candidate.

Buffy was scowling as she read through file after file of blood doner's at the local Los Angeles Blood Bank. She was here, simply because of Lily, the girl who had recognised her from Sunnydale, and the disappearance of the target of the girls sickeningly sweet affections, her boyfriend Rick.

She knew something was up when she visited the place earlier in the day with Lily while looking for Rick. She didn't know what it was, but her senses were totally wigging out and blaring in her head that something was wrong with this place.

"But, candidates for that?" she bit her lip. The blonde's eyes went to one specific folder, displaying the name and picture for Rick on it. His was marked as a candidate to. "I don't suppose you know?" she mused, eyes narrowing and looking over her shoulder.

She hadn't heard anything at all. But, it the feeling of something lurking near her, she was very, ver used to that.
There was a boy, around her age sitting sitting on a desk a few feet behind her, a small smile splayed across his face, as his eyes rose to meet hers. His gaze it seemed, was located on her lower back.

...Typical.

He was quite tall, with broad shoulders and short spiky black hair, and a pair of glittering emerald green eyes that should have been illegal. Black boots fit his feet, jeans on his legs, and a black tank top covered his torso, hidden lightly under an open leather jacket.

There was no way this guy was normal. Her fingers twitched and her breath hitched. She instinctually knew, this guy was strong. It was the same kind of static feeling she got, when she first confronted the master.

He raised an eyebrow at her, and and his smile looked amused as hell, "Well?" Buffy raised her own eyebrow. Strong or not, she wasn't exactly weak herself.

"More or less," he shrugged, finally speaking up casually, his voice pleasant sounding, "The one you're looking for, he's already dead though."

Her brows furrowed and her fists clenched tightly, "Oh yeah..and how do you know that?" she asked, legs tensing slightly as she prepared to fight.

"I had nothing to do with it, so don't worry about that," he answered, "The whole plot behind this is just a bunch of minor demons wanting to use homeless and desperate people as slave labour."

So that's what this was about. Her mind rushed for a moment, thinking, and then the face of a 'kindly' man handing out flyers to the massive abundant amount of homeless people living in this part of Los Angeles.

She shook her head and Buffy arched her second eyebrow at him, "If you've got nothing to do with it, how do you know what's going on? And why the heck are you here, some place obviously connected to what's goin on, looking at my ass?" the blonde slayer challenged. She was honestly too used to the harassment of guys trying to cop a feel at the diner she worked at right now to honestly feel that annoyed about it.

"It's a nice ass." he continued to smile, unrepentantly.

It was, Buffy agreed. But, "Get on with it, I'm really not in the mood." she demanded. She just wanted to return to her dingy apartment, curl up in front of the fireplace and drink some tea.

"I was just taking you in, Buffy," his smile disappeared and he answered her seriously, "After all, you could say you're my hope for the future."

As expected. Slayer bullshit. "I've given up that life, I'm not being the slayer anymore," she rejected harshly, exhaling through her nose deeply, "So kindly buzz off with the mysterious cryptic nonsense, I'm not interested buddy, I've had enough of that crap."

"Sorry about that, I didn't realise I was coming across like that," he started chuckling. He shook his head and smiled at her again, "My name is Yarden Scott, and I suppose in one sense, I'm the same type of thing you are."

Buffy snorted, "You don't look like a formerly perky blonde cheerleader." she snarked.

"Nah, you pull that off better than I ever could," Yarden's smile tugged up into a grin as he blatantly looked her over. Buffy resisted the urge to fidget, before he shook his head and stopped, "But I meant, we both got our powers from ancient demons."

Her mind ground to a halt, "What?!" she snarled, stepping forward, insulted, "I don't know what you're trying to pull buddy, but I'm the Slayer, the one supposed to slay demons, I'm not one of them."

He blinked, "Huh, you didn't know? I could have sworn you did," Yarden said, and he really did look very confused in that moment, "..The Slayer Spirit. It's a demon that the men the Watcher's Council is descended from, the Shadow Men forced on the original slayer."

Buffy didn't know what to think. She had the feeling he wasn't lying to her. But, she wasn't sure how to process the revelation at all. She'd never thought about how the slayers gained their powers. and Giles had never spoken of it to her. Neither had Marrick, her original watcher before his death.

She slumped against the table with the folders on it and sighed, "...This really wasn't what I was expecting tonight." Was it too much to ask to curl up with that tea cozy?

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Eesh, I was not expecting her to react that badly to the origins of the Slayer Spirit and the Shadow Demon. Admittedly, while I remember a ton about the canon world, it has been a long time since I saw it all, so some minor things are spotty.

I eyed the girl leaning against the table, and I had to admit, I can somewhat understand the fascination Angel, Xander, Riley and Spike had with Buffy in canon. She looks like Sarah Michelle Gellar, and she was beautiful, but there was something about Buffy that made her even more so. She wasn't as skinny as I remember her being, and while of short stature, and not at all voluptuous, her skin was perfect, radiant even, hair immaculate despite her lot in life right now, and her face was gorgeous. She was almost, perfectly proportioned for her build.

So yeah, while I usually prefer much 'thicc' girls, there's no denying Buffy Summers is hot as hell. And well, small and petite or not, it didn't change the fact she had quite the shapely, perfectly rounded little bubble butt.

I shook my head, ridding myself of such thoughts. This really isn't the time. Both due to what she's going through, and because of what I need to do to establish myself here.

Honestly, it's just lucky I was fascinated with the looks of those tattoo's Lindsay had during Angel Season 5, and researched them a bit. The Enochian Runes, based on the Enochian Alphabet. Otherwise, The First Evil and Caleb would be hounding my ass right now. I should thank the stupid cunts as well for teaching the previous Yarden, before I merged with him, the basics of magic and how to invoke it.

It had been pretty simple getting the Protection Rune that would hide me from all modern and mystical surveillance tattoo'd into my skin and then inscribing magic power into it.

I sighed, and took a moment to think how surreal things were right now. I'm literally, in the Buffy The Vampire universe. And for all intents and purposes, I may as well be a damn Gary Stu original character.

How the hell did The First Evil even reach beyond the Hellmouth to drag out the soul of a Turok-Han in the first place? I can understand the mechanics of the ritual, because it's the First Evil, and ancient and powerful, no way it wouldn't be able to use a ritual along the lines of what three mortal men did to create the Slayer line.

What I don't fucking get, is how Yarden's soul was the one that won in the end. He had quite a lot of magical power for a mortal human apparently, and was from a lineage of magic users. But the Turok-Han was alive during the time the fucking Old Ones ruled this world. Fuck, I had brief flashes of it tearing apart a few of Illyria's Cthulhu fucking looking minions. Some scattered memories of its life that remained when Yarden's soul devoured its own.

The only thing I can possible think of, is that my own soul was around at that point, and it was just waiting for my memories to resurface. In that sense, it could be my and Yarden's soul, teamed up against the Turok-Han's, but even then, two on one or not, that would have been an uphill fight I think.

Either way. I'm a bullshit person. I mean seriously, not only am I from a powerful magical bloodline. I have all the power of a freaking Turok-Han vampire, while still being alive. Hell, I've got fucking bullshit hypnosis powers that work along the lines of compulsion from Vampire Diaries, and precognitive visions. No idea where they fucking came from, though I'm not complaining, they're just not abilities typically seen in Maloker, the Old One that created Vampire's, bloodline. The Master's sire line, like Drusilla only got those powers because of that Archaeus demon lord that put his essence in the Master or something like that.

The sound of clothes ruffling and movement broke me from my thoughts and I saw Buffy shaking her head as she regained her footing, "You know what?" the blonde huffed, "I'm so done with this, I don't even care anymore, so what if I got my power from a demon, it sucks, but this whole gig has sucked from the beginning."

She looked me pointedly in the eye, her own practically blazing, "So how does this make us the same type of thing?" she asked, "You got some kind of demon stuck to your soul and you want my help getting rid of it?"

I smirked at her attitude, so fiery, "Not quite, I'm more here to see what I can do for you," I replied easily. At some point, The First Evil is gonna come for my ass, and that annoying as preacher teacher will be suped up to the utmost limit to tear me apart, getting an in with Buffy and Co, is probably the best option I can go for right now, "And you're close. I was infused with the soul of a Turok-Han, it was originally meant to devour my soul and gain my body, with all its powers, but somehow my soul won in the end, and my soul kinda ate its own and I got all its powers myself."

"Sounds sucky," Buffy shrugged, "So what the hell is a Truck-Ham?"

I chuckled, she had to be butchering its name intentionally right? "It's a vampire," I answered though and watched as her eyes widened, "Specifically, it's the first type of vampire, created when all the full demons still ruled this world, and it, alongside tens of thousands more of them are locked up in the Hellmouth."

Buffy staggered back again, eyes widen in shock, "A vampire?" she asked, her expression aghast.

"Hit a bit too close to home huh?" I mused at her reaction. It's interesting to me, how calm I feel man. But then, this is kinda small time compared to being around fucking The First Evil and Super Crazy Preacher Man Caleb. "Don't worry, I'm technically only like half vampire, I'm still alive, my heart's still beating. And I'm in no danger of losing my soul, besides, I'm not even cursed, and the soul of the vampire I got these powers from is gone, my own ate it like I said."

"H-how do you know all this?" the petite blonde slayer asked shakily.

I pointed at my eyes, "It's one of the powers I got, Precognition," I answered her, "I can see the future sometimes."

Buffy continued to look at me wide eyed for a moment, before her eyes narrowed, "...Wait, if you know about all that...that means..?" she murmured.

Give the girl a cookie, she was fast to catch on. At least to my hints.

"I've only had these powers a few months," I instead answered with, instead of confirming anything, "For me to know this stuff, it would have to happen in the future."

"B-but, he's dead, I killed him and sent him to hell!" she sputtered.

"You did," I shrugged, and hopped up off the table, making my way towards her, "But here's the thing Buffy, there's many, many hell dimensions, and there's quite a few ways to escape them. And you aren't the only one chosen, your old boyfriend has eyes on him too, he's got his own prophecies to play part in, so from what I've seen, he'll be getting busted out of the Hell Dimension he's in at some point in the future."

I grasped her chin gently between my thumb and pointer finger, looking down into her eyes as I tilted her head up, weirdly, she let me do it,, "Now turn that frown upside down, sunshine," I smirked, "You've got something to take care of right now, don't you?"

Man, I'm so cool sometimes.

She was silent for a moment, just staring me in the eyes, before eventually, Buffy snorted, brushing my hands off of her chin, "..That's good to know, I've still no idea what you want from me, but that's the best news I could possibly ever get right now," she smiled lightly and and touched a hand to my arm, "So thanks, Yarden."

Maybe not so cool? I chuckled sheepishly, feeling my cheeks heat up a bit, "Ah well, guess I'm not as smooth as I thought," I replied lightly, "But I really do wanna help you. I've got plans I want to see happen through helping you, I'm not gonna lie, but helping you is in my best interest too, plus, you're hot." I added cheekily at the end.

"Wow, you're such a romantic, aren't you?" the blonde huffed in amusement, "Alright then, say I believe you, gimme something for good faith. Tell me one of the plans you want to accomplish through helping me."

Well, way to throw me under the bus Buffy. Most of the shit I want her help with won't be applicable until much later. And I can't exactly come out and say, I'm wanting to eventually fuck possibly her and her female friends after getting their affection.

Well, there is one or two that can be dealt with quickly, "Well, there's a couple items in Sunnydale I want," I answered, "Specifically, a ring that lets vampires walk in the sunlight. I'm pretty sick of having to stick to the darkness or only go out at night all the time."

Honestly, it's a pretty minor gripe. But, it's fucking annoying nonetheless.

"And you know it's in Sunnydale how?" she asked.

I pointed at my eyes again and she rolled her eyes, "Right, visions of the future."

"Specifically, I saw your old buddy Spike wearing it, and fighting you," I pointed out, "And well, I'd much rather me have it, than him."

Buffy groaned and and lightly palmed her face, "Of course it was that idiot that got it," she sighed, and shook her head before grabbing my arm, "..Honestly. Just come on, I can't take much more of these future revelations at this point, we're just gonna go deal with these demons enslaving people, then we can hash out all this crap later." she said, and began dragging me along behind her.

Not that I'm complaining. The sweat pants she's wearing cling real nicely to that perky round ass of hers. Wonder what I'd have to do, to get her to wear that black raincoat alone, like she did during that whole love spell fiasco.

It's the warmth of her skin, and the feeling of her touching me that does it. For the most part, this has been a bit of a fever dream, or felt like like one at least.

But it was Buffy's touch that did it. Hit home for me, she wasn't just some character. She's a real person.

I landed in this body, while Yarden was making his great escape. Terrified out of his wits. Caleb absolutely horrified him. In the show, he was a terrible person, completely evil. A literal serial killer, with all the good looks and charm about him that rumours said many of them were. It was one thing to see that kind of person played as a character through a screen. It was an entirely different matter to be kidnapped by an evil serial killer priest, that was completely misogynistic and hated women.

The only reason Yarden was able to undergo months learning from the beast in human skin, while the First Evil itself donned the form of his mother and insisted he call it 'mother', was because of the Turok-Han.

It was not an intelligent beast. It didn't suddenly make him braver, or smarter, or give him a plan to dupe them. In the simplest terms, beyond the power and strength the Turok-Han gave him, it also gave him the ancient, primordial instincts that fueled it. It was a hunter, and predator that thrived in an age when it was lower on the totem pole than humans were nowadays compared to demons in comparison.

And using those instincts, Yarden was able to suppress the fear and revulsion he felt, hide his trembling and bide his time. The Turok-Han was a mindless killing machine, and going by the First Evil's words and praise, the strongest and oldest of its kind. Together, it and Yarden, made something greater, an intelligent killing machine.

Intelligence alone was not enough. Instinct alone was not enough. Together though, a semblance of a plan formed. Caleb was the vessel of the First Evil, all his insane power and strength came from that fact. But, it was not a permanent thing, and his power grew weaker over time. While at his strongest, Yarden with all the Turok-Han's might was a match, he was still nearly invulnerable. So Yarden waited until Caleb's power waned, and learned all he could in the meantime. And only when Caleb's strength was at its lowest, just before the First Evil was due to imbue him with its essence more, did he strike. And even at his weakest, and taken by surprise, it was not enough to kill Caleb.

But it was enough for him to escape.

A hand squeezing my arm brought out of my thoughts and I looked to see Buffy staring back at me, a frown on her face, "What's wrong with you?" she asked, "You've got this, really intense scary look on your face."

"Ah, nothing much, just thinking about the evil bastard that kidnapped me and forced these powers on me," I answered, "That, and how much effort I'm gonna have to put in soon and how many things I've gotta take care of."

Buffy nodded, "Been there before," she agreed, "But speaking of, what thing did it to you in the first place? If it's still around, it obviously means you didn't manage to kill it yourself."

"Can't say," I replied, and she narrowed her eyes at me, "Literally, if you even speak its title, it'll know and can appear, and since I'm hiding from it, I don't wanna do that. Besides this things minion, if you never met me, you'd originally fight him five years from now, and he'd kick you, your friend Xander, another Slayer, Spike and a bunch of others asses at the same time."

"Huh.." Buffy uttered, raising her eyebrows in surprise, "...Spike?" she asked a second later, sounding perplexed.

"Yeah, he falls in love with you, and decides to get his soul back so you'll accept him." I looked away as she gapes at me.

A moment later, she burst out into laughter, "Hahahahah!" outright hysterical laughter left the petite blonde, and she continued for quite a bit, to the point where she let go of my arm and had to lean on the wall of a building for support. Nearly a minute went by while I let her laugh it out, before she calmed down, "..Ah...ha...that was a good one. Spike in love with me and getting his soul back for me."

I avoided her gaze. And it didn't take her long to realise why, "...You cannot be serious, you aren't joking?" Buffy asked, "..What kind of messed up place is the future?"

I sighed and turned back to her, "You think being a slayer sucked so far?" I asked, and she gave me a deer in the headlights look ,"Trust me, what you've been through so far, is complete small time compared to what's coming for you."

If Evil itself wasn't bad enough, there's a goddamn Hell Goddess living in Sunnydale. I know she has a human host that makes her vulnerable, but for the life of me, I can't remember who. Pretty odd for me to forget that, it's pretty important detail.

Her hand latched onto my arm and gripped me tightly, eyes narrowing, and the small tiny blonde girl looked me in the eye, "Spill," she demanded, "How can things be any more messed up than sending the love of my life to hell."

"How does getting bent over a railing in the Bronze in Sunnydale and sodomized by Spike sound to you?" I gave her a deadpan stare.

Her face scrunched up in utter disgust, "Ew! What?!" she shouted, "What the hell! You've gotta be lying, why would I ever do that? That's disgusting!"

"You're telling me, I actually saw it," I replied, "As for why? Your little redhead friend Willow gets strong with magic and addicted to it, all self righteous and thinks she can do anything, the same way she gave your boyfriend his soul back a few months ago."

"B-but!" Buffy sputtered, taking a step beck, "W-hat does that have to do..with me doing..THAT with Spike!?"

I don't really know the best way to answer this, so I guess just ripping it off like a band-aid? "You died, just over two years from now," I said quickly, and the girl was stunned silent, "You went to heaven after you died, but Willow decided she could bring you back, and she did, dragging you out of heaven. From what I saw, you felt completely cut off from the world, the point where you started beating the crap out of Spike and fucking him just to feel a bit alive."

At that, she just stared at me, completely out of it. This time, I had to drag her along.

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She let Yarden lead her along the paths of Los Angeles, his grip on her wrist directed her behind him as he walked.
She was thinking to much, to really pay attention to anything else.

Buffy wasn't really sure, how to process what she was told. Oh, she always knew she would die young. She accepted that after her fight with The Master. She might have been blonde, but she wasn't naive or dumb enough not to realise the fine lin she walked between life and death.

It was easier, with Angel around. As much as she loved her friends, they couldn't provide the back up a Master Vampire could. That was one of the many things she loved about him, when he was around, she felt safer, she didn't need to always be the strong one.

Even now, she was still on a bit of a high, hearing that Angel would come back. It was, stymied though by the fact that apparently some time in the future...she would die, go to heaven, get dragged back out and start fucking Spike of all people. And up the ass at that? Like what the hell kind of slut did she turn into in the future?

That was not even getting into the mess that Willow was apparently going to become.

The worst of it was, with how her life is, none of it sounded too far-fetched. Beyond the Spike parts at least. But she couldn't help but believe them.

It was the way Yarden was. He looked like he could hardly believe his eyes when he was looking at her. And the awkwardness he showed when talking of what he saw of the future..it reminded her of Angel.

Ironic, considering he was more or less a vampire with a soul himself. It was so surreal, she couldn't stop herself giggling at the insanity of it all.

'Do I even want to know the rest?' she wondered. Yarden said he came to help her right? He wanted her help as well, but it seemed he already knew where to get them. From what she gathered, him bringing up her help getting these things, seemed to be more of making sure she didn't try and slay him or something, which she might have attempted if she first came across him in the middle of raiding a tomb or something.

But regardless, if he was here to help her, that meant, he was going to put a stop to all the really bad stuff that he saw, or at least attempt to, right?

'Damnit, why is it always me?' Buffy bemoaned her fate.

"There." Yarden spoke up, and she looked up to see him pointing to a familiar hostel looking building, the one she saw on that flyer Ken gave her.

And surprise, surprise, standing in front of the building, was Ken himself. The smartly dressed missionary saw them both and smiled brightly. "Well hello, isn't this a surprise!" he greeted them, eyes landing on Buffy herself. "Here to take up that offer to look around I offered y-"

"Hello Ken." Yarden cut him off with a smirk, stepping forward as soon as Ken made it over to them and lashed out with his arm.

Fast! Buffy's eyes widened.

His fingers grabbed Ken by the skull, and then, with a tearing sound, Buffy watched in disgust as Ken's face was ripped right off.

...To show another face. A horribly disgusting humanoid face that looked like puss-filled yellow muscle.

"Ack!" Ken screamed and clutched his face. He looked up a moment later, dim red eyes glaring at Yarden, "You damn human! do you have any idea how long it takes to put that thing o-"

He was cut off, yet again, as Yarden grabbed him by the neck with one arm and lifted him up, the demons well polished shoes dangling in the air, "Don't care Ken." Yarden said, and Buffy flinched as he clenched his hand hard and jerked it, and a loud crack resounding through the street as Ken's neck audibly snapped.

"So what kinda demon is he?" Buffy asked as he dropped the corpse.

"A Servus demon," he replied, before explaining, "They're a type of demon that enslave other races to build things they designed. They generally use the enslaved themselves, or sell them to the highest bidder. They're pretty low on the totem pole, they're unaging, with a minor healing ability and about as strong as a vampire fledgling."

As strong as a baby vamp huh? Buffy eyed the almost casually killed demon. She couldn't do that to a vampire. She was stronger than any run of the mill vampire, the only one she'd met physically stronger than her, had been The Master. But even she couldn't do that to something on that level. Or at least, nowhere near as easily as he had.

She blinked as Yarden bent down and rifled through Ken's pockets, before pulling out a wallet and casually rifling through her. Seconds later, he tossed it away, while rifling through the large stack of bills he took from it. "$440, not bad." he mused.

"..Did..did you just loot that demons corpse?" Buffy goggled at him. She'd never seen anyone do that before.

"Here's a life lesson that will make season 6 way easier for you if it ever happens," Yarden replied, and she gave him a confused look. "Demons are loaded, they generally just take what they want. You can't exactly work a stable job as a slayer, so you may as well murder hobo the demons to make sure you aren't out of pocket." saying that, he reached over, and without asking for permission, stuffed the wad of bills in her hoodie pocket and zipped it up.

"I should probably feel dirty right now," Buffy snorted, "I mean seriously, look at us. We look like a sugar daddy gangster and his kept girl."

Yarden grinned at her and wiggled his eyebrows, "Well..I wouldn't say no."

She immediately punched him in the arm, hard. "Nice try, but no way." Shaking her head, Buffy found herself smiling as she started walking towards the hostel entrance.

Huh. She hadn't been in this good of a mood in a long while. "C'mon," she called over her shoulder to her companion, "Let's go!" letting off some steam beating on some slaver demons? That sounded like a good idea right about now.

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The next morning, Buffy found herself leaving her apartment behind. Or former apartment. She was no longer Anne Steele. It was a fake identity. in the first place, and just as easily passed on to Lily

There was a bit of a spring in her step as she practically skipped down the stairs. She hadn't felt this happy in a long time. Angel was still alive, and would be coming back, she had a tough new friend who knew what he was doing, who had promised she wouldn't need to worry about Kendra's murder charge at all...oh, and she was loaded.

'When he said demons are always packing a lot of cash, he wasn't kidding.' she grinned. There were only twenty of those Servus demons all in when they got within the little time displaced dimension they had hiding in the hostel. But all in, including what Yarden had given her from Ken, she was five and a half grand richer.

And taking on demons had never been so easy. Sure Yarden said because he was directly infused with the essence of the Turtle-Kun demon vampire thing, he got most of its power, just like how he claimed that the First Slayer, was apparently way, way stronger than any other slayer that came after, but she hadn't expected that much. With him backing her up, they'd tore through all twenty of them within minutes. And even the gate that blocked the entrance, which she could just barely lift, he was able to lift one handed.

Honestly, it made her kind of jealous how strong he was. If she was that strong, she would of slapped around every damn demon she fought over her time as the Slayer. And it chilled her a bit last night, when she realised he needed to be even stronger to deal with whatever forced him into becoming what he was now.

'..Wait, where was I going with this?' Buffy wondered a second later before shaking her head, it didn't matter. As nervous as she was about going home, she really wanted to see everyone again. That, and she really needed to go back, otherwise, Angel was probably gonna get killed when he came back.

She left her apartment building behind, and her eyes landed on an older, black sportsy looking car beside her building, and sitting in the driver seat, with some kind of large, chunky grey device in his hand, was Yarden.

She walked over and pulled the driver seat open, and when she did, she could see a bunch Burger King bags in the back, alongside another box that looked to hold another of the strange gray device, and two other boxes, red and depicting some kind of dragon looking thing, while the other was blue, and depicting a fat turtle.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she slid in and closed the door behind her when he didn't even look up from what he was doing, "And how are you sitting here in clear sunlight? You said you needed that Bangle of Amanda to survive in sunlight didn't you?"

"You're such a pleb Buffy, these are iconic," Yarden shook his head at her, and when she stared at him, daring him to say that again, he rolled his eyes and pointed, "It's just special glass that reflects sunlight."

"Huh, that's a thing?" the petite blonde mused, news to her. "And what about what you're doing?" she stared pointedelly and the blonde bricky device in his hands, absorbing all his attention.

"It's a game Buffy, Pokemon!" he retorted, and his face drew up in annoyance at her, as if he was affronted she didn't know what it was. "This is why you'll never be able to hold a man."

"Hah!? Excuse me?" Buffy rounded on him, "I so totally can hold a man."

"This begs to differ," he pointed at his head, "I saw all your relationships up until you were 30. You'll never have a relationship that lasts longer than a year. Honestly, you're just lucky you're so hot, you're pretty boring all things considered."

..Oh he did not! She leaned over and grabbed the game thing from his hands, ignoring his annoyed shout of 'hey', she noticed, at the top, there was a label saying Gameboy, "You just watch, I can be fun!" she tilted her chin at him defiantly, lets see him act all high and mighty when she got better at this game than he ever could, "This'll do to pass the time, now step on it, off to Sunnydale Future-Taxi Boy."

"Just don't break it you clutz." Yarden sniped one last time as he started up the car.

Buffy looked at him from the corner of her eye, using the gameboy to hide her grin from him. 'So he thinks I'm really hot huh?'