'Twist' (Community Story) Rough Draft (Patreon)

Looking for some feedback on this one.

Is the idea fun & interesting? (obviously, as they play more, more 'twists' will happen)

Notes (very rough draft that i haven't been able to work on in a few days, but i'm looking to here your thoughts on the progress)

Twist

Rushing up the stairs in pure excitement, Toby is giddy as he holds the parcel in one hand. Having ordered it from the dark web, Toby’s been waiting for it for months, and now it’s finally arrived.

It’s a new internet craze and Toby wasn’t going to miss out. Having already invited over his two best friends, Lilly and Ethan, he’s desperate to show them. Pushing open his bedroom door, Toby flashes the pair a smug grin and holds the parcel into the air.

Lilly, who’s sitting on the bed with her legs crossed, looks at Ethan in bemusement. “Am I going to get in trouble?” Lilly asks, tucking some of her long, glossy black hair behind one ear. “I feel like this isn’t going to end well…”

Ethan, who’s sitting on the floor in front of the bed, looks up and back in Lilly’s direction. “You can always just…. I dunno. Go home, Lilz. You’re only here because Toby’s desperate for us to remain friends.”

Standing in his bedroom doorway with the parcel still in hand, Toby goes a little red. Ethan isn’t lying. Ever since Lilly and Ethan broke up, things have been tense between them. Toby tries to understand why they split up, but neither of them wants to talk about it.

Having known both of them since elementary school, Toby’s desperate to get them talking again. In fact, that’s why he’s ordered what he’s ordered.

“Don’t go, Lilly,” Toby says, giving Ethan the stink eye. “I want you both here to enjoy this with me.”

Lilly folds her arms tight and pouts. The tension between them becomes unbearable as Ethan does the same.

Not wanting to give in so easily, Toby places the box on the floor and instantly, Lilly and Ethan are interested.

“So, what is it?” Ethan asks, leaning forward to look at the box. “I know you said it came from the dark web. Have you ordered a bomb, Toby?”

“It better not be something naughty, Toby,” Lilly sighs. “I’ve already let you two boys get me in another trouble this year.”

Ignoring their negativity, Toby peels back the parcel tape and slowly opens the box. Just as he’s about to show the pair what’s inside, he stops and looks at them both.

“You two have been pretty painful to be around,” Toby says frankly. “I want you both to know I’ve brought this board game to change things up a little. If what I’ve heard about it is true, we are all in for a wild ride.”

“Change things up?” Ethan asks with a dumb expression. “Also, it’s not my fault. Blame Lilly. She’s the one that broke things off between us.”

“Hey!” Lilly protests, kicking Ethan lightly in the back with her foot. “Don’t be a jerk. That’s so entirely unfair!”

Turning to have her, Ethan and Lilly stare daggers in each other’s direction. Toby doesn’t know where to even look it’s so awkward.

“What happened to you guys?” Toby asks, stretching his legs out as he sits beside the parcel on the floor. “One minute, you’re deeply in love with each other, and the next, you’re at each other’s throats.”

“Nothing to do with you, Toby,” Ethan replies instantly, showing his frustration.

“Leave it alone, Tobs,” Lilly follows up politely.

Rolling his eyes, Toby lets out a long breath and focuses back on the parcel beside him. Feeling like he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place, he hopes he can at least rescue their friendship.

“Well….,” Toby says, trying to be upbeat. “Why don’t you both forget…. whatever’s happened between you both and feast your eyes on this!”

Excited, Toby rips open the parcel and pulls out a board game-sized box. Discarding the outa packaging, Toby places it in the center of his room and kneels beside it.

“It’s called ‘Twist,’” Toby says, grinning widely in Lilly’s and Ethan’s direction. “It’s banned in pretty much every country. I had to pay through my teeth to get this! It’s got an underground following. It’s so secretive, every mention of its existence has been wiped from the vanilla internet.”

“Awesome…,” Ethan says, kneeling next to Toby with excitement. “So, it’s like contraband!?”

“Yes!” Toby says, nodding with glee. “I think we should play it. My parents won’t be back until Monday, so we’ve got the entire weekend.”

“Toby….,” Lilly whines, getting up off the bed to join the two boys. “You’ve been going on the dark web again, haven’t you? You know I don’t like that. I’d hate for you to get in trouble.”

With both the boys silent to Lilly’s moaning, she joins them on the floor and kneels beside the box. Reluctant at first, Lilly eventually builds up the courage to touch the board game box in front of her. She begins to read what’s written on top.

“The board game that Twists your entire reality…,” Lilly reads aloud. “The board game for the daring and adventurous. What will you learn about yourself.”

Ethan and Toby are silent as they both nerd out. Lilly, however, is not impressed.

“Seriously?” Lilly whines, about to get up off the floor, uninterested in playing. “You invite me over here tonight, Toby, and don’t tell me Ethan’s going to be here. Now you’re trying to force me to stick around and play a board game? We aren’t fifteen anymore, dudes. We all need to grow up…..and if needed…..move on.”

“Maybe she’s right,” Ethan says reluctantly, showing as little emotion as possible.

“You two,” Toby barks angrily, stopping Lilly from standing. “I’m fed up with you both being so negative. I’m not going to just let our little group just disappear like that. So just sit down and play this game with me!”

Lilly gently lowers herself to the floor and gets comfortable. “Fine,” she huffs, flicking back her hair. “For old time's sake, I will hang out with you boys this one last time.”

“She’s too good for us now, Toby,” Ethan gripes in reaction. “Shame, you used to be cool, Lilly. You used to be fun.”

“Whatever, Dude,” Lilly snarks. “Maybe I’m just growing up, and you two are stuck pretending to be teenagers.”

“We are teenagers, Lilly!” Ethan laughs obnoxiously. “Or did you forget that now you’ve got those things hanging from your chest!?”

“Guys!?” Toby shouts, trying to get them both to stop. “Whatever it is that happened between you, please just put it aside for me. If after tonight you both aren’t getting on, then fine… I’ll accept that our friendship group is coming to an end, but please don’t get at each other!”

Folding their arms, Ethan and Lilly turn away and sulk, but they do stop arguing.

“Good,” Toby laughs nervously, starting the process of unpacking the game.

The board game itself isn’t too complicated to set up. It’s a single-track board game with a start and a finish. Some of the squares, from start to finish, make you pick up a ‘twist’ card, and others ‘reset.’

“Looks boring,” Lilly says, reacting to the simple-looking game board.

“I promise it isn’t,” Toby’s quick to reply, holding the rules in front of his face.

“Why did you have to buy this from the dark web?” Ethan asks in confusion. “I swear they sell this in the supermarket across the road. What a waste of money.”

“That’s Twister…,” Lilly jibes in Ethan’s direction. “You…dumbass.”

Toby looks up briefly from the rules to ensure Lilly and Ethan aren’t trying to strangle each other. Pleased to see they aren’t, Toby reads out some of the rules he thinks are interesting.

“Get this,” Toby says, holding his index finger against the page the rules are printed on. “It says here that our existence could be in jeopardy if we don’t fully finish the game. There’s a huge warning written here.”

“Really?” Ethan asks, leaning over to look.

“Yeah,” Toby replies, showing him the page. “It’s imprinted in bold and everything.”

“Lame…,” Lilly laughs sarcastically.

Not put off, Toby continues to read.

“So, the person who reaches the end of the track is the winner. Each time we land on a ‘Twist’ space, we have to pick up a twist card.”

Toby holds up the unopened pack of twist cards. They all study the pack, and it appears to just be a bunch of empty white cards with nothing on them. Confused, Toby continues reading.

“When a twist card is picked up, a ‘twist’ will occur to that player.”

Stopping, Toby looks at Lilly and Ethan to ensure they are following. Giving them both an approving smile, he continues.

“Twists are random. Some can be minor. Some can be major. Twists will remain unless the player lands on a reset space or the game is completed.”

Toby looks at the board and puts his finger on a reset space. “Seems simple enough.”

“Dude,” Ethan says honestly. “Sound pretty boring.”

Toby gives Ethan a desperate look. This might be his last chance to stop the group from falling apart. Reaching for the player tokens, Toby puts them out for Lilly and Ethan to take.

“Let’s just play,” Toby says with a forced smile. “There must be a reason why this is band. Here, both of you choose a player token and put it on the start line.”

A huge fan of the color green, Lilly snatches at the green counter and grins wide at both the boys. Just as she’s about to place it on the start line, Ethan and Toby stare just above her head in utter confusion.

“W-what…?” Lilly asks, bringing her hand to her head.

“You’ve got a green halo above your head, Lilz,” Toby answers with a point of his finger.

“Have I?” Lilly laughs nervously, feeling the air above her head.

“It’s gone,” the two boys reply in unison.

“Stop trying to wind me up,” Lilly grumbles and pouts. “You boys have always ganged up on me and it’s not fair.”

Knowing they aren’t lying, Ethan reaches in and takes the red token. Expecting the same to happen, Ethan points at his head and gives Lilly a dumb look.

“Look,” Ethen says with confidence. “Is there a red halo above my head?”

Lilly gasps and holds a single hand over her mouth. “My goodness. Yeah, I see it!”

Pleased he’s been proven right; Ethan places his counter confidently down on the starting square. Lilly, not to be outdone, does the same, but she can’t hide the fact she’s a little concerned.

“How did it do that!?” Lilly asks, looking at Toby for answers. “Do the counters have like LED’s in them or something?”

Glancing at the rule sheet, Toby then shakes his head. “I don’t know,” he replies flippantly. “I told you guys this game would be fun. It’s properly mystical and stuff. Like it’s been made by an entity from another dimension.”

Allowing that a second to sink in, Toby reaches for his token, and he chooses the blue one. Without fail, a blue halo forms above Toby’s head.

Knowing it’s coming, Lilly leans over and tries to grab it. Much to her dismay, it disappears as soon as she gets close, and she gasps once more.

“Freaky….” Lilly laughs nervously as she falls back onto her ass.

 Toby can’t help but chuckle as Lilly falls back in disappointment. Although she doesn’t look impressed, both she and Ethan are leaning forward with interest.

“See,” Toby grins, opening the pack of ‘Twist’ cards. “I knew this was a good idea. I’m so happy we’re all hanging out again!”

“You did promise us pizza, Dude,” Ethan chuckles, holding his stomach.

Placing the twist cards into the center of the game board, Toby nods in agreement. “I know,” he replies with a smile, grabbing the normal-looking game dice. I’ll order it in a minute, lets just start playing already. I’m dying to find out what happens!”

“Who goes first?” Lilly asks, holding out her hand to take the dice from Toby. “I think ladies first.”

“Fine.” Toby hands the dice to her. “A three or a six will land you on a twist card. Go on, I dare you to roll them.”

Egged on by the two boys sitting in front of her, Lilly isn’t one for letting them win. Ever since she was small, she’s done her best to keep up with the two boys, even when they got taller and stronger than her.

Throwing the dice across the game board, Lilly squeaks with joy as it lands on a six. Reaching across to move her token, Lilly is stunned and left frozen in mid-movement as her token slides across the board on its own.

“Would you look at that,” Ethan laughs, watching the token stop at square six. “It’s more high-tech than it looks.”

Toby then points at the pile of empty-looking Twist cards and smiles. “Pick one up, Lilly!”

Staring Nervously at the two boys as she reaches for the pile, Lilly slowly picks one up. Turning the card, expecting to see words written, she’s surprised when the other side is blank too.

“There’s nothing on this card,” Lilly chuckles, showing Toby and Ethan the reverse side. “How stupid.”

“Erm.. Lilz,” Toby says as his face turns pale. “L-look now.”

“What!?” Lilly replies, laughing it off. “It’s blank, guys.”

“No, it’s not,” Ethan squeaks anxiously, pointing at it. “Words have just appeared in front of our eyes.

Furrowing her brow, Lilly gives the two boys an exhausted look before turning the car around. Much to her surprise, lettering has appeared, and she shrieks in reaction “What the hell!”

“Read it,” Toby says, giving Ethan a worried look.”

Lilly studies herself and looks down at the card. “W-welcome to the game,” Lily tensely reads out. “You want to come out on top. So, let's start you out small, Lilly Hall…”

Deeply scared, Lily’s eyes almost pop off their eye sockets, and she gets goosebumps. “G-guys….,” she says, shuddering. “How does it know my name!?”

Ethan looks at Toby in fear. Toby shakes his head, but he’s secretly pleased it’s getting that reaction. He knew it would be a good idea! It’s certainly not boring now!

“Keep reading it,” Toby says, urging Lilly on.”

“You and your friends will not be twisted. You want to be on top, but now you will be in a different top!”

Lilly looks up from the card, confused. However, seconds later, a bright green flash fills the room, and all three of them are dazed. When the green sunspots disappear from their eyes, all three of them are deeply concerned.

Lilly, who was wearing a simply white Cami, is now drowned as Toby’s large t-shirt hangs from her petite frame.

“What the hell!? Ethan squeaks with embarrassment.

Toby and Lilly instantly look in his direction. Having gone bright red, they see Ethan sporting Lily’s Cami and it barely fits his body.

“Why am I wearing this!?” Ethan shrieks!”

“Suits you,” Lilly laughs, leaning over to nudge him in the shoulder. “It’s like that one time we fooled about in my bedroom, eh?”

“Shut up, Lily,” Ethan freaks out, trying desperately to remove the Cami from his body.

Giving Lilly a bemused glance, Toby looks on in silence as Ethan struggles to remove the Cami and it appears stuck to his body.

“You need some help?” Toby asks, looking down to notice he’s wearing Ethan’s polo shirt.

“It won’t come off!” Ethan shouts in frustration. “I don’t want to wear Lilly’s clothes!”

Annoyed he’s acting so childish, Lilly puts her hands on her hips. “What’s wrong with my clothes,” she gripes. “I don’t stink of BO like you do!”

“I’m not a girl!” Ethan replies frantically, still trying to remove the Cami.”

“I know,” Lilly sighs. “I know that all too well!”

Toby laughs nervously as she continues to watch Ethan struggle. “Accept it, dude,” he says softly. “Seems like that might be part of the game. If you roll a five, you’ll land on a ‘reset’ square, and I have to assume that means we will get our own clothes back.”

“Yeah…,” Ethan says sullens, giving up. “I guess so.”

“Wait,” Lilly says sharply as Ethan picks up the dice. “Guys, I’m scared of this. How did the game swap our clothes like that!? I’m worried if we continue, the ‘Twists’ might get more extreme!”