"Two-Faced" - A Short Snippet (Patreon)

Based on the prompt, "Stuck in the elevator with Dr. Grey."

You and elevators don't have a great relationship. 

Your first week of medical school--trapped in an elevator with eight of your classmates. Just last month--stuck in an elevator with Vic (in your pajamas, no less). And now, now--because this is a running theme, a cruel joke--you're in a jammed elevator with one Dr. Peter Grey. 

You hear him sigh, watch as he calmly presses the "call" button. Always cool under pressure. Then again, anyone who chooses to operate on the liver as their bread and butter has to be. You can't help but wonder if you'll ever get to that point - where someone's hemorrhaging in front of you, their life literally in your hands, and you aren't overrun by panic. 

Fight or flight? More like freeze and suppress the urge to vomit. 

What had Dr. Grey said before when you asked him? 

"My mentor in residency always told me to count to three breaths whenever I got nervous."

He had been a resident at one point, too. An intern. You know--rationally--that he isn't a god. He's human. Fallible. Has made mistakes--certainly Alex Rivers thinks he's gone even further than that. So, why can't you just relax in front of him?

It's not a superior thing. This, you're sure of. If you were stuck in an elevator with Dr. Saxon, it wouldn't be as nerve-wracking as this. You know Dr. Saxon doesn't like anyone except his husband, his daughter, and his cat. He expects you to stay out of his way, to not make his life any harder. You can read him easily enough.

But, Dr. Grey? You're not sure what he wants. He's unreadable. Kind, yes. Patient, of course. It's not like you think he's constantly assessing you and you're afraid to mess up (not like Dr. Sloan, who you know you always have to be on your A-game for). So, why? Why is it whenever you're near him, you don't know what to do with yourself?

"Are you all right?" he asks, and you blink--realize that you've been staring at the elevator doors.

"...Yeah." You resist the urge to shake your head, as if that'll help clear anything up. "Sorry, I was just..." You trail off, shrug. 

"They said it'll just be a few minutes." Then, after a moment, he says, "Claustrophobic?"

"No. Not at all." Why can't they get this elevator moving sooner? "You?"

"I'm not a fan of heights."

You try to hide your surprise. Is that...a hint of a grimace on his face? But...it's gone. You've seen this happen before--a flash of...something, before it disappears. Those moments when he isn't untouchable, when he isn't talking about what everyone already knows. 

"Your office is on the twentieth floor," you say before you can stop yourself. It occurs to you--distantly--that you just teased him.

He gives you a wry smile. "I know."

With a small shudder, the elevator resumes its descent--and you don't miss the way Dr. Grey's hand tightens on the rail even though his face is as composed as usual. It occurs to you that you've seen that motion before, during your first case with him, Mrs. Lin bleeding out in front of you. The way his hand had tightened around the forceps, even though his gaze had revealed nothing. 

Human.

Fallible. 

Unreadable.

Untouchable.

After he leaves, it strikes you that it's no easy burden being Dr. Peter Grey.