"Observations" - A Short Snippet (Patreon)

Based on the commission, "grey/del/erika mild spice if possible, if no then wholesome friendship/intense loyalty/idk man..."

Set a few months before the Citadel main story. Del is the founder and CEO of Citadel. Erika is Dr. Grey's ex-wife and current Citadel administrator. 

"You're worried about him," Del says. 

The way they look so casual, sitting there on your office sofa. One leg crossed over the other, their fingers gently drumming against the armchair. You've always wondered how much of them is performance and how much is the real them. The black turtleneck, the jeans, the long hair braided over their shoulder - you're sure this is part of their persona. The way they almost seem to float through a room when they walk in, the delicateness of every movement - you're sure, too, that this is an act. 

But, the calmness in them - like a still pool, perfectly clear - you're not certain. 

Maybe this is what happens when you almost die when you're young. You reach clarity - but, this is all just speculation. 

"Of course I'm worried," you say. You try to match their indifference, find that - much to your annoyance - you can't, not quite. 

You and Peter have been divorced for two years now, but you still care about him. Not in the sense that you wish you were still married - you're happy with your freedom, ecstatic really that you're no longer in the shadow of Dr. Peter Grey - but you are invested in him, and maybe some people could call that love: love as not anything residual from your relationship, but love that comes from knowing someone for over twenty years, knowing them intimately like the back of your hand. 

You know him, so you know why he's doing what he's doing. And, you and Del can only watch - because, really, it is his choice. 

"It's not sustainable," you continue. "He knows that - I know he knows."

Del shrugs. "Maybe he knows. Or, maybe he just chooses not to think that far ahead."

"And you?" You raise an eyebrow. "Did you think that far ahead?"

"Not at all." Del sighs, and you see a flash of longing - or maybe regret - pass over their face. It startles you, this genuine emotion from them, and you file it away for later. Something to muse over after work. 

"You learn to live with it," they say, and their blue eyes meet yours. 

You can't keep the skepticism from your voice. "That's it?"

Del laughs. "Erika, just because I almost died when I was 16 doesn't mean I have the answers to the universe. Or to people."

They roll up their pant leg, just so you can see the flash of their prosthetic. "I learned how to walk again because I had to, not because I wanted to. My guess is Peter's doing the same."