6. Cooking Up Trouble (Patreon)

So hey. Look. I know I saw them. But you know. I really, really thought that was it.

You know. We look each other in the eyes, acknowledge that their stealth mission has failed, and they try again later, let us have a bite to eat—hell! Maybe they go get a bite to eat themselves. I mean, reasonable, right? Very professional. All of us have a nice, happy dinner, go home, and reschedule our fight for next week.

Yeah. Well.

It’s not my fault. It’s really not my fault. We had that moment. We looked one another in the eyes and we had a moment of silent communication. Many words passed between us, with no words being said at all. It’s just, you know. Sometimes, the words you carefully sent in your gaze pass right over your recipient’s head, and your recipient’s message is just as empty as their big stupid heads are.

Alright. So. We’ve cleared the air. Now you know. And uh. Maybe forgive me a little for what’s about to happen to my favorite kebab shop? I would not have brought Fira over if I thought they would actually…

Well. You’ll see.

--

Fira coughed, half-choking on the poorly-vented charcoal fumes. Smoke slightly clouded the room ahead of them, but a few people sat at the cheap tables and chairs inside, eating despite the fumes. As they entered, a man took his order off the counter and left.

A glass display case showed off the various flavors of kebabs, pink chicken, darker red beef, the marinated options flecked with herbs. Smoke billowed off an open charcoal grill, kebabs sizzling atop the metal grate. The green-skinned man tapped at his phone, looking up as the bells on the door rang. A few small leaves peeked out of his polo shirt, and small grass-like blades feathered the backs of his hearty arms. He slid the phone away, turned the kebabs, and beamed at the newcomers. “Welcome!”

Walking up to the bar, Levi tossed a nod at the chef. “What’s up, Big Green?”

“Levi! My favorite. Especially when you pay!” the chef replied, laughing.

“I always pay. Sometimes. Eventually.”

The chef gave him a look. “And today?”

Levi nudged Fira. “Today, I’m being treated! Look at that.”

The chef crossed his arms at Levi. “A date? And she pays?”

“I believe in equality,” Levi said, taking a seat.

“You believe in free meals,” the chef replied firmly.

Levi pointed. “That too.”

The chef turned to Fira, shaking his head. “This man. Do not trust him. Ah, but where are my manners? Karan.” He offered a green hand.

“Fira,” Fira introduced herself. His hand felt cool against hers, slightly damp and supple like a plant.

Levi leaned in and hissed, “It’s not her government name.”

Karan nodded, leaning slightly toward Levi to pay him absolutely no attention. “What do you want today?”

“The usual.”

Fira hesitated. “Chicken…?”

“Chicken, good choice!” Karan grabbed a set of kebabs out of the glass display case and threw them on the grill.

Settling in, Levi yawned and rested his head on his hand. “I always get sleepy in here.”

“Is it the carbon monoxide?” Fira asked, deadpan.

Levi lifted a finger to his lips. “Shh. If we don’t talk about it, it can’t hurt us.”

“That’s not true.”

“It’s true in my heart.”

Karan thumped his chest. “I photosynthesize the carbon dioxide. It’s okay!”

Fira lifted a brow. She cut her eyes at Levi.

“Trust. Let him cook. These are the best kebabs in town.”

Karan hummed. He peeked at the kebabs, then leaned back, playing on his phone.

Fira gave Levi another look.

“Trust.” Levi nodded and gave her a thumbs up.

The door opened. Bells jingled.

“Welcome!” Karan called distractedly.

Fira glanced over her shoulder. She stiffened.

“What?” Levi glanced back. He locked eyes with the new entrants. Instantly grimacing, he put a hand on his forehead. “Fuck, man. Cut me a break.”

A man in a black leather jacket sat down beside Levi. A woman in a black leather trenchcoat sat beside Fira. Black hats, black sunglasses, black shirts and black trousers, and black shoes to boot.

“I’ll take your order in a moment,” Karan said.

“Thanks,” the woman said, her voice as cold as ice.

“You know, it’s easier to hide if you don’t look like you’re hiding,” Levi advised them.

The man glanced at him. He lowered his glasses and looked Levi in the eye. “We aren’t here for you. If you leave now, you can still escape with your life.”

Levi sighed. “I would, man, I would, but like, this is the best kebab shop in the city. If I go, will you leave quietly?”

“That depends on our friend here,” the woman murmured, looking at Fira.

Fira clenched her hands on the counter. “I’m not going home until I find him.”

“That’s not what your father says. Come on. Let’s go home.”

“Father’s given up on him. I haven’t. I refuse.”

The woman sighed. “Face reality. We haven’t heard from him in weeks. He’s already been absorbed by Alpha. You yourself were almost absorbed by Alpha. You know how dangerous this city is. Go home, before you get caught.”

Fira scowled at the kebobs. “No.”

“Hey, they have a point. Go home,” Levi chimed in.

“Not you, too…” Fira paused. “No, that tracks.”

“Come home. It isn’t a request. It’s an order.”

“I won’t. I’m not coming home until I find him. No matter what Father says.”

The man and the woman exchanged a glance. The woman reached for Fira’s shoulder.

“Chicken kebabs for the lady and the mixed kebab for Levi!” Karan chimed, sliding loaded paper plates in front of them. He pulled out his notepad and smiled. “And what about you two?”

The man and woman in black exchanged a glance.

“Water,” the woman said.

The man nodded. “A coke for me, thanks.”

Karan nodded and walked away, humming to himself.

The second he cleared the counter, the woman latched onto Fira. The man shoved Levi off his stool and drew a gun, pointing it at Fira’s forehead.

“You’re coming with us,” the woman snapped.

Karan startled, jumping back. He fled into the back of his shop. All over the room, chairs screeched back and toppled over, smacking against the floor. The patrons fled, bells jingling.

Levi stood. “Hey, guys. Can we talk it out? Please? I really like this shop. And we just got our kebabs. Surely words are—”

Fira burst into flames. In the same moment, rock cracked, and the skin of the woman who held her turned to granite. The man pulled the trigger. Bullets slammed through Fira’s fiery body and bounced off the woman who held her.

“Come on. Please? Let’s all walk out of the kebab shop and fight out on the street instead of in here,” Levi tried.

The woman stomped her foot. Rock surged up from the ground, shattering the linoleum floor and cracking through the bar. Fira struggled. She kicked off the back of the prison and flew up into the gap, even as the coffin closed in around her.

Levi winced. “Not the bar…”

Hovering close to the ceiling, Fira glared down at them. “I don’t care what Father wants. I’m going to bring him home.”

Her flames singed the ceiling tiles. Flames caught, and the shop began to burn.

“Fucking… please. The ceiling?” Levi complained. He glanced at the bar and found his kebabs still safe. His eyes widened. Leaping, he snatched up the kebabs and folded the cheap paper plate around the oily meat. With a final tap to keep it all settled, he stuffed the packet into his pocket. “Fine. I’m eating dinner, though.”

The man with the gun scowled. Sheathing the gun, he turned to the bar and gestured at the sink. The taps trembled, the spout shaking wildly. The metal burst, and water gushed up, forming a wild geyser. He grasped, then threw, and a glob of water shot at Fira.

Levi stepped back. “Water and rock to catch a flame? Makes sense.”

Fira dodged the water. She charged in, catching the man with a shoulder blow and throwing him to the floor. Before she could finish him, rock closed over him, blocking her fireball.

A low rumble sounded overhead, growing louder and louder into a full-blown growl. Levi licked his lips, backing away. That’s a face I don’t want to see again in a hurry. I think it’s time I quit this scene.

“Alright. Well, this is fucked. Sorry, Karan.” He tossed the trio a salute. Glancing left and right, Levi ran for the back exit.

“Stand still and let me catch you!” the woman growled. A rock spike surged up from the floor.

Fira dodged to the side, leaping behind the counter. She threw her hand in the griddle, and flames surged out of it.

The rock coffin opened. The water-wielding man climbed out.

Glass shattered. The roar of a jet engine hammered over the entire crowd. Jet Engine burst into the scene, letting out a raucous laugh. “Villains? Let Jet Engine take care—oh! The fire girl! I can still fill my quota!”

The black-wearing man and woman exchanged a glance. Without a word, they pivoted toward Jet Engine. A wall of stone slammed out of the floor to block Jet Engine’s path. The rock sealed off the entire room, wall to wall.

Without hesitation, Fira whirled about and fled for the rear exit.

Arms still held out to maintain the rock wall, the woman scowled. “Get back here… dammit!”

“Should I—”

“Take down Alpha’s dog first. We can find her again later!”

Putting his engine on reverse, Jet Engine barely avoided striking the wall. He wiped his brow. “Whew. That one nearly got me.”

Gurgling sounded. Jet Engine squinted. “What’s that sound?”

Answering him, a wall of water smashed through the rock wall, washing him away. Water flooded the building and rushed out into the street beyond, completely flooding the kebab shop. The two black-clothed people stood atop the remnants of the bar, an island amid the freshly-summoned sea.

The black-clothed man raised a hand to his eyes. “Did that get him?”

Jet Engine burst up from under the water in a blast of spray. “Watch out, villains! You’ve messed with the wrong guy!”

“Villains?” Ice crystalized out of the crowd. A figure with six limbs and dragonfly wings swooped down from overhead.

“Shit,” the woman muttered.

“We gotta run,” the man responded.

Without another word, the woman turned and fled. The man followed her. As they passed the rear door, the woman threw up a stone wall in the doorway behind her. A few paces away, the stone cracked and weakened, but remained in place.

Blowing water out of his engine, Jet Engine smashed through the stone. “Your reign of evil ends here…”

He stared at an empty back room. A few half-chopped chicken breasts laid abandoned on the tables.

Jet Engine sighed. “Dammit. I never get to use those lines.”