632. How to Become Beautiful (Patreon)

Hui followed after Jizhi Zhimei, hurrying through her palace. She moved at a businesslike clip, which, at Hui’s suppressed second stage, translated to a full-out run. He barely glimpsed the ornate interior of the palace as he rushed through—sumptuous lounges, lush rugs, fine jade carvings—before he burst out the other side.

A yet larger garden awaited him. This one ringed a mirror-still pool. A few delicate lotuses perched at the edge of this one, their floral perfume filling the air. Hui instinctively paused and took a deep breath, breathing in the scent moreso even than the thick qi on the air.

Though… I will take some of that, too. Quickly accumulating the qi, Hui rubbed his hands together behind his back. A lotus seed formed between his palms, and as he approached the pond, he casually dropped it and let it roll into the still water. A single ripple passed through the pond’s surface, vanishing the next instant.

Hui’s eyes widened. Shit! I totally didn’t think about that! If the water suddenly rippled, wouldn’t that give me away? Obvious, it’s so obvious! Fortunately, it’s magical water. Magical water that absorbs ripples! Excellent, excellent.

…I feel like there’s some scientist somewhere who would love to see this pond. Ripple-free water? I imagine there’s some kind of esoteric scientific application for that. Instead, we’re going to use it to wash our faces. Hui sighed aloud. The ridiculous ways cultivators waste their magic… haaaa. It’s a shame I was a mere loan shark victim in my first life, and not some kind of eidetic-memory-possessing genius scientist.

A moment later, Hui frowned at himself. Wait, hold on. How many eidetic-memory-genius-scientists are there in the world? And how come they kept on getting resurrected in other worlds? Now that I’m here in another world, isn’t that exceedingly strange that so many reincarnated protagonists—

“You sigh?” Jizhi Zhimei asked, one brow lifting.

Hui blinked at her. I sighed?

Wait, hold on. It was three thoughts ago… right. Right. Uh. Yeah, I don’t think she’ll understand the reason I sighed. Hui cleared his throat. “I couldn’t help but sigh, to see such natural beauty here.”

Jizhi Zhimei smiled behind her veil. She nodded approvingly. “To become beautiful, one must first appreciate beauty.”

Hui nodded, then quickly saluted. “Disciple understands! Thank you for your instruction, Master!”

She frowned. “There’s no need to act so exaggeratedly for such small guidance.”

“Eh? Small guidance?” Hui asked, confused. My actual Master never gave me so much plain, clear guidance!

The two of them stared at each other for a moment, both confused.

A beat later, Hui bowed. “My apologies, Senior. Please continue!”

Jizhi Zhimei bowed her head in acknowledgement. Moving on, she stepped into the water. It barely rippled around her legs, the ripples quickly vanishing as she walked. She turned her back to him and lifted the veil. “The first step in washing one’s face is to use a Brilliance Seven Lights Sea Sponge…”

Nodding, Hui sat back to take notes, only for Jizhi Zhimei to gesture him forward. “Come. You will also wash your face.”

Hui stepped forward. “Yes!”

Cool water ran around his feet, then ankles. He stepped deeper, a shiver running up his spine. Cold, so cold! It must be one degree from freezing. Is that why it isn’t rippling? It’s too cold to ripple, because it’s nearly solid ice?

I feel like that’s not how water works, but…

Another step in. Another. The chill stripped away his flesh and ate at Hui’s bones. Hui glanced down, only to find that the water had literally sliced away his trousers and skin. He bled into the water, only the water was so cold that he felt no pain from his missing skin.

He froze. “I—”

“Come. To me. If you can’t do that much, then you don’t deserve to inherit my techniques,” Jizhi Zhimei ordered.

Don’t deserve, I don’t deserve! No thank you, Senior! I’ll go without! Hui lifted his leg, fully intending to back out of the water.

Jizhi Zhimei chuckled. “That snake of yours…”

Hui froze.

“Tseng Caihong… I am a Tier Master, after all. I know how to encounter her. If you want me to assist you in getting your snake back, then come to me.”

Gritting his teeth, Hui stepped forward. Dammit. My other attempt didn’t pan out. I have no other ideas. Zhubi’s in danger. If I’m not willing to take on a little pain to save him, then what does that make me?

“Once you have your Brilliant Seven Colors Sea Sponge, you must acquire a sliver of Thousand Year Soap,” Jizhi Zhimei continued.

Is now the time? Hui grumbled silently. One step at a time, he slogged toward her. Blood coiled on the water behind him, bright red against the dark, still water.

Wait, no. This is part of the trial, isn’t it? If I make it to her without all the ingredients, it’s back into the water with me! Argh! I don’t need this kind of protagonist-like torture quest! These are the worst sorts of arcs! I don’t like pain, I don’t want it! Surely there’s something I can do? Aside from picking up the ingredients as she calls them out, something else!

As Hui’s mind worked, desperately coming up with something, anything, he cast his mental energy outward, searching for the items Jizhi Zhimei called out. Sea Sponge… the seven colors and brilliant indicate it should be rainbow-colored and shining, but then again, it is a cultivation ingredient! If it’s anything like the pill making ingredients, I have to harvest it at the right time, then process it in the right way, or else it’s trash! I don’t know any of that… but, but that’s not the point. The point is, I can’t rely on it looking like what it sounds like it should! But I can probably use it as a hint of sorts.

Thousand Year Soap… that one should be straightforward and easy. One way or another, it’s soap, and old soap at that. If I find soap in this natural pond, it’s probably the soap I’m looking for.

He lifted his head, peeking at what Jizhi Zhimei held. Come on. Won’t you give me a little hint?

Jizhi Zhimei waved a hand, casually summoning a wall of mist between herself and Hui. “Tsk tsk. You aren’t charming enough to cheat yet.”

Hui scowled. So much for that.

Wait… charming enough to cheat? Hold on, does that mean there is such a thing as charming enough to cheat? Hui pursed his lips thoughtfully. The Dao of Charm is deep indeed…

A second later, he shook his head. Future thoughts, future thoughts. For now, focus on the ingredients she’s asking for! Sea sponge and soap. She shouldn’t have given a disciple at my level an impossible task. As long as it looks correct, it probably is.

…unless this is one of those tasks I’m meant to fail, so she can berate me and show me what trash I am! Dangerous, too dangerous. It might be more realistic to fail, but… if this is her idea of a reasonable challenge, I don’t want to find out what she considers a punishment!

The image of the room he’d woken up in, chained to the bed, flashed through his head. Hui shivered. Let’s avoid that!

He took a deep breath. Settling his qi, he casually circulated his snakeskin technique, rejuvenating his legs beneath the water. The second he took a step forward, the water tore the snakeskin off, shredding the evidence.

Hui glanced down, raising his eyebrows. The water only eats away at me when I move. Good to know!

Alright. Let’s find those sponges and that soap!