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Next update, Broly and To love a sword

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-???-


It all happened in a split second, faster than he could even comprehend what was happening and how he could have missed the existence of such an entity throughout his time in Eostia. 


The moment his vision was filled with destructive crimson energy raging its way toward him, Archer knew that nothing but death awaited him at the end. The heat of the attack already stinging his skin, turning any water and all bodies around to ashes. The rubble melted within seconds, a display of sheer power he could not contest against — visibly carrying far more destructive power than even Caladbolg II.


The Counter Guardian raised his hand, reciting the first verse to Reinforce his Traced Noble Phantasms. This was the first time he ever used it in this world; nothing had ever forced him this far, or he always had other options — even against the demon army that ambushed him and Maia. That time he needed a weapon to kill them all in one fell swoop, but now… he needed to survive more than anything.


"Rho, Aias!" 


A small bud formed in the middle of his palm before blooming into seven enormous yet beautiful larkspur petals. Their pink light shining brightly and stubbornly against the sea of crimson. The attack hadn't reached him yet, but his shroud was already starting to tear and break apart. 


He braced himself, before…


Crash!


The seven layers barely came into existence before the attack collided followed by a loud shockwave which spread across the area. 


"Hn!" Emiya watched helplessly as the seventh layer broke without resistance, followed by the sixth and was shortly followed by the fifth. The sleeves of his shroud burned up into ashes, leaving behind his black armor. Using as much Od available to him, with his circuits pulling the mana inside his body without holding back, the dense abundance of this world's mana acting like a double edged sword to his body. But he had no choice, he could bear through the pain of having every single part of his body feel like they dipped into boiling water if need be. 


This Projection used more of his energy to Trace — three times as much as a sword — and far more to power it. Each petal destroyed was a large portion of his reserves getting used up, by the time the fourth layer broke down, more than half of his Magical Energy was used up and his circuits just couldn't keep up even when pushed to their limits. A drop of blood hit his face, more and more cuts and burns spread across his arm. 


The third layed shattered not a second later.


'W-What power!' 


His feet dug into the blackened ground, trying his best to not get thrown by the sheer force. Each petal was the equivalent to a fortress wall! 


Small cracks started to form on his armor by the time the second layer. He was left with his last wall of defense separating him from certain death. His reserves had almost run out, the heat coming from his body made his blood boil and steam come off his skin. He gritted his bloodstained teeth, using his left hand to support his right arm. 


Emiya glared at the edge of his last layer beginning to break down bit by bit. So gathering the last embers of his Od — he poured every last bit of his Magical Energy inside the Noble Phantasm.


"AAAAAHHHHH!!!" 


His loud scream was drowned by the explosion that followed soon after. A dome of red fire grew to cover the entirety of what had once been the castle of Discordia and beyond. It's tremor capable of being felt across the entirety of the dark lands and even past the borders of neighboring kingdoms. Every being capable of using and sensing magic felt the equivalent of a heatwave passing through their bodies, causing a few like Celestine to perceive the exact location.


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"G-ah!" 


Inside a dampened cell, Archer quickly opened his eyes before taking a loud gasp of air. His mind riddled with confusion, the sensation of the attack still fresh for him as he just faced it. Sweat poured down his face as his hand rested against his chest where his heart kept beating like a drum. 


"Where… where am I?" He asked, finding himself sitting inside a familiar cell with a single torch light illuminating the surrounding. He remembered this place… wasn't he inside the dungeon Brynn and the other Knights threw him in when they captured him in Ken? Archer tried to get up but heard the sound of chains skidding across the ground with his legs unable to take another step forward as they were bound.


The accumulated years of experience as a Counter Guardian made him further analyze his surroundings and his current state instead of panicking. "This… this isn't Ken." Paying closer attention, he noticed something wrong with the space around him, it was blurry and anything beyond the bars was covered in pitch black darkness. Furthermore, the air around wasn't the usual dense mana filled environment he was used to. The biggest factor was himself; his left arm was perfectly fine when in reality it should have been absolutely burned and bloody from the attack, and his circuits weren't burning. 


"An illusion?" 


"You're quite sharp, Guardian," said an elderly voice. 


"—!" Light flashed as Kanshou and Bakuya appeared in his hands. "Who's there?" He asked, wondering what kind of spell could have trapped his consciousness in such a way. Would Tracing Rule Breaker even help? He could try, if nothing happened then he could try to forcefully break away from his confines. 


"Calm down, Guardian. I could barely bring you here for a talk, I'm not searching to harm you in any way — think of me as your ally." He spoke gently, his tone almost having a calming effect on Archer's mind which he realized was not natural. "It's been a while since we've spoken. Why don't we catch up?"


"Humph, I have no memory of ever speaking to you." Archer sneered. "You can at least have enough courtesy to introduce yourself to me. I'm getting rather displeased of having mundane visitors tempering with my head." 


"So harsh, I guess I should have expected that after what you've just experienced before coming here. As for my identity, I told you already, I'm a cleaner just like you. Have you forgotten? We've talked in this very same place back in Ken." The Counter Guardian frowned, going through his memories as he remembered speaking to an old man in the dungeons. Yet when he shook away the knights and ran for the cell, there was no one inside. 


"I take it you now remember our previous interaction. I enjoyed our conversation and can see you even took my advice at enjoying life while you were here. I know little of your history, but your eyes show me enough of the kind of person you are." 


"Drop it with these useless topics. Tell me why you've brought me here." He wasn't in a mood to speak to this person about such things anymore nor was he comfortable sharing his past and history without anyone else at the moment. After further thinking, he concluded that he must have survived the attack somehow, or else he would have returned to Alaya's domain by now. He doubted the collective unconsciousness of mankind would waste its time or risk having someone else seize his soul like this just for a talk. 


"Hm, I don't have much time for a long speech to begin with, I've used too much of my energy to keep that woman at bay and out of this world. I brought you here because I wanted to apologize." 


Apologize? The bowman failed to see what he could have done that made him believe so. They only talked once in the past and nothing else aside that. 


"What for?" Archer heard him sigh.


"For having failed my duty, and as a result that dreadful being has been set loose inside this world." The image of the attack and the heavy stench of blood permeated the air around him, "I tried to stop her from coming anywhere near this world and even did my best to hide it from her senses. But the very people I protected created a beacon and a path for her to use. Even after that, I stopped the main body from coming through, but a small bit of her essence slipped through the cracks. Even as we speak I'm pushing her back with all my might, but unfortunately, I won't be able to stop her completely until that shard acting as her core isn't destroyed. Or else, it'll grow stronger and more complete until her true self will be able to form within Eostia."


Perceiving no hostile intent, Archer sighed and decided to see where this conversation would head. Kanshou and Bakuya broke down into motes of light as he realized that having them on hand wouldn't matter as all of this wasn't even real to begin with. He crossed his hands while leaning against the wall.


The more he explained, the more his words cemented the identity of this entity — much to his dismay.


"So it is a Beast after all." Archer murmured worriedly.


At least, that was his guess. The blood figure felt completely different from a regular Servant, let alone the version of Sakura that another copy of himself defended against in the many different versions of the fifth Holy Grail War. The feeling it gave him felt so wrong, so utterly repulsive and oppressive, that only a handful of entities he had seen as a Counter Guardian could come even close to matching it — and all of them were exceptionally dangerous.


"A Beast, huh… An appropriate name I must say. I assume she originates from your world."


"I'm afraid so." Archer couldn't help but sit back down, the weight of the danger causing him to feel slightly lightheaded. He wasn't qualified nor remotely strong enough to face a Beast of all things, even a shard of it was a gargantuan task. For these scenarios, the Counter Force should have deployed a Grand Servant and not him. "This is a disaster…" 


"This Beast will destroy the world if it isn't stopped." The elderly man spoke with a grave voice. "Can you explain to me more about this creature?"


Explain… it wasn't so easy to describe what they were in a few words and it depended on which Beast it was in the first place. "To put it simply, they represent the Evil of Humanity, a manifestation of their sin. They are beings of absurd power that could be seen as unstoppable by most and calamity given form. But I wouldn't worry about them killing off all of humanity and the world, that is never their goal… in most cases." 


"A manifestation of their sin? I can see why she was attracted to this place then… that Insect God Cult earned the attention of an entity they really shouldn't have. Or maybe my world would have been noticed regardless in the future if Vault's plan were to come to fruition." He went silent for a few seconds before speaking again, commenting about something that intrigued the old man, "Also, given how you describe them as 'Evil of Humanity' and 'calamity given form', I can't help but worry." 


The Insect God Cult, he remembered the man who attacked Brynn and the worm he killed. It turned out these people were a bigger danger than the Kuroinu ever could have been. Who knew what else could happen if they were left alone and if they managed to attract another entity. No, he couldn't let that happen.


"Don't get me wrong, they are an underlying threat to all humans. They act out of love for humanity in a very twisted and warped sense, they want to see them prosper and achieve a better future. But to reach that future, they could potentially corrupt and destroy humanity's present self. Again, this depends on the Beast." They were complicated beings that couldn't be summarized in a few words, but his words were enough to convey their danger to the elderly man. One of the Beast he knew from the knowledge of his different versions and his identity as a Counter Guardian, this Beast desired to destroy humanity yet recreate them in his image. The end goal was the betterment of humankind but the road chosen to reach this goal involved killing off all of the present humans. Love for humanity in the most loose way possible. 


"Yeah, the humans are in danger." 


"You speak as if you weren't a human, Guardian." When he spoke those words, Archer detected a hint of pity, something which made him chuckle. 


"In some way, you could call me human, but I am truly nothing but the spirit of a man who died many… many years ago." Even though he was somehow sent as a human in this world, he did not let that fool him. 


"Many would disagree, especially those Princess Knights you've met."


"Then let them," he shrugged. "Opinions do not change facts, what happened in the past cannot be changed and it's not like they'll ever find out." 


"Going back to the matter of the Beast, can you handle her?" 


"I can't face one." Archer admitted, knowing full well his limitation and not letting the delusion of becoming a hero wanting to save everyone cloud his judgment. He wasn't Shirou Emiya anymore, his current self knew the reality that not everyone could be saved.


"You were sent here to stop her." 


"I was sent here to stop Vault and the Kuroinu!" Archer shouted, feeling both angered and helpless at his current situation. "This simple task of killing them should have been my only concern. But now… now I have to somehow take care of this mess, Alaya really made a mistake it seems." 


"Has it crossed your mind that you're being too pessimistic." 


Perhaps he was, no, this was him being realistic and understanding the present scenario. Then again, the entity known as EMIYA wasn't particularly known for his optimism.


"You forget, in my world, humans are only a small portion of all living beings. If these Beasts prioritize humanity, then what about the rest? Will they get slaughtered?" 


He honestly had no idea, but it was very possible that many would die in the end. As far as he knew, elves, dwarves, beastmen and so on did not count as humans — so it was logical to assume that a Beast wouldn't care about them.


"My duty is to protect them all and not just humans, I have failed in the past and would have failed again in the future if Vault had lived but now I have you. I witnessed your battles and might, and I garnered absolute confidence in your abilities to mitigate this dangerous being." 


"Having me isn't all that impressive." Emiya commented dryly, "you just happened to draw the short end of the stick."


"Regardless, whilst you cannot battle a Beast, you can stop her arrival. That shard which represents a drop of her blood is the connection to this world, it should be in a very weakened state after using up all of its power and I've dedicated a portion of myself to suppress the item as long as possible for now — it most likely went into a deep sleep. You have ample time to rest and recover, when you're ready, find it and destroy it. That's all you need to do, that will be enough for me to push her true self back for good and hide this world." 


This only further served to reinforce his idea of removing this Insect God Cult, for they could possibly reawaken it early.


"How nice of you," the Counter Guardian said sarcastically. "And how am I supposed to find this shard exactly? It could be anywhere by now." Eostia itself was but a small part of the world, there were other kingdoms all around it with other islands spread across the globe. It was no different than finding a nail in a haystack, worst even.


"I'm afraid you'll need to depend on yourself on that end. She made sure to erase her signature and even my portions so as to not be tracked so easily. But the shard shouldn't be very far with how little energy it must have left. It feeds on sin, depravity and the most extreme human emotions from what I've observed — so that should help you track it. But I am certain that it still resides in Eostia. Again, I'm sorry I couldn't help you much, my current self is already struggling to keep this illusion stable."


"... I can see that." 


The surroundings started to break down, showing how the elderly man had reached his limit. "If you find yourself doubting your capabilities, then gather allies, people who will aid you in your quest. You cannot bear the weight of the world all by yourself, the fate of everyone's life depends on you."


Not like he could decline in the first place, Alaya did mention how needed to destroy that shard as well. He sighed, wanting to curse for once and question why his life was so troublesome. 


He really had abysmal luck…


"Just be prepared to die if I fail, I can promise to try my best. But in the end, I can't create miracles to guarantee a victory." He remembered the scene of his body getting flooded with enough power to summon a hollowed copy of Ig-Alima. An expression of distaste surfaced in his mind, having someone sneak around inside his soul was not something he welcomed even if she helped him in the end. 


His vision got further blurry before everything turned dark.


"I will talk to you again when I've recovered enough."


{Break}


-???-


The darkness soon ended as he peered at a small glow. Knowing he returned to the real world with him feeling the weight of his body accompanied by an intense pain coming from every single part of his body with what felt like thousands of bullets ants biting his arm every second. 


This source of light he realized was fire burning around him. Opening his eyes, he felt like relieving an old memory of his past, but this wasn't the Fuyuki fire — it was the aftermath of the attack. 


Archer slowly got up, barely able to summon a regular spear to use as a support. He glanced at his right arm and frowned, his skin was mostly gone and burned to a crisp with a large part of his pain receptors having been damaged. The bones inside two of his fingers were fractured along with many other parts broken as well. Thankfully, he could still move his hand and didn't worry that much about it. He suffered much worse in the past. 


"It left," the shard was nowhere to be seen. Even the bodies of those he killed had long since disappeared and turned to ashes by now. Even the melted rubbles created a sea of lava around him, painting an almost apocalyptic image to his eyes. 


"I still can't believe I survived that." Maybe the old man was right, whichever Beast it was, their shard didn't have enough Magical Energy to kill him. Perhaps, this could be seen as good news, as it meant he could destroy it before it gained any more power. And he was assured that there was enough time for him to rest and recover before starting his search. But Archer preferred to find it as soon as possible as well.


He looked around and found that part of the dead forest behind him had also been destroyed by the explosion.


"I wonder if those two are still alive?" 


With a low grunt, Archer began moving away from the burning area. Having a lot to think about and plan for his next move. 


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"Olga-sama! A-Are you injured?" Not so far away, two dark elves knelt down with a light blue shield around them. The explosion came out of nowhere, a massive inferno of fire and magic threatening to engulf both of them before turning their bodies to dust. 


 The Dark Queen reacted in a split second, she casted a wordless spell that created a large bubble around both her and Chloe but the shockwave ended up pushing them away and shattering the spell within seconds. Fortunately, she didn't get hurt or suffered any major injuries aside from a palpitating heart that shuddered at what she had just experienced. 


Chloe rushed by the side of her Queen, wanting to make sure she was alright. A lot happened today and the blonde haired girl feared that she wouldn't live up to her duty as her protector. 


"I… I'm fine, Chloe." Olga whispered, still feeling a bit dazed from the impact but remained mostly unharmed. She checked Chloe's body for any wounds and sighed in relief when she found no other wounds aside the bruises she got from Vault. 


"W-What happened back there? Did that bastard human try to kill us?" Chloe muttered in anger, thinking about what happened when Vault captured her. A sea of anger and fury washed over her when realizing that those humans would have used her to break her Queen's resolve and forcefully use both of their bodies for nothing but canal pleasure. She wanted to vomit thinking about what could have happened, the reality that they came so close to such a thing happening made the blonde curse herself with how weak she was. 


And that man… believed to be a Dark Elf descendant but most likely just a regular human like the rest backed by Celestine's power. He may have saved them from Vault but actually tried to kill them soon after!? As expected of their kind, betraying everyone at any given opportunity! Those filthy Lycans were no different, she still kept in mind how deserted the castle right before Vault's group arrived. 


But no matter, he underestimated her Queen and they survived. 


"Olga-sama, we should leave befor—" both heard the sound steps coming closer. The dark elves looked towards the area of the disaster and found the same man who emerged from the treeline.


"Hoo, wanting to leave your savior behind? I honestly expected more from you people." He said with a chuckle, but the state of his body made both speechless. 


'How is he even alive?' Olga thought while watching the man come forth, using a spear to keep himself standing. What looked like the remains of a black armor covering a part of his body. His right arm being completely charred and smoking with all of the skin burned off and blood leaking. His face was a mess with cuts and more burns, though despite that, he still managed to keep an expression that felt like he was mocking them. Not an ounce of pain or exhaustion emerging from his gray eyes which remained as sharp as a sword. 


Her heartbeat quickened when she saw him, a part of her shocked and filled with wonder as to how a human could keep walking in such a state. But the biggest emotion she felt at the moment was fear, knowing full well that the man who destroyed a mountain with a single sword that could shake the very sky and capable of slaughtering the entirety of the Kuroinu now stood before her weakened self. 


'Should I attack him right now?' she thought to herself, already having dozens of lethal elemental magical attacks ready to be launched within a second.


She did not show an ounce of her true emotions, keeping an ice cold face that almost broke when his frigid eyes locked onto hers. It was almost as if he could see through her intentions, a sensation of having a phantom sword pressing against her neck which dared her to move.


This man was dangerous. 


"You again!" Chloe on the other hand, was not capable of perceiving Archer's threat and merely saw him as a man already at death's door. "You came to finish the job? Because you failed to kill us before!? Like I'd let you! Die, human!" 


"Chloe, no!" Dread filled Olga as she saw her most loyal follower grab a stiletto and rush towards the man with the intent to kill. 


"Hn," he scoffed, appearing amused at his attacker. Olga expected to see his spear move and pierce Chloe's heart or a decapitation. She moved, raising her hand, ready to launch an attack to save her. 


But at the last, she grew baffled when something completely unexpected happened. He didn't raise his spear, instead, he let it go..


Slap!


And proceeded to slap Chloe.


The strike, strong enough to make the girl lose her balance and fall on her butt. "E-Eh?" The dark elves couldn't help but exclaim the same thing. 


"Attacking your savior? How rude." That comment only made the struck girl grow further incensed and red with fury. She jumped off the ground and went straight for his neck…


"You filthy human! I'll kill y—ah!" 


Slap!


Only to be slapped so hard that her face crashed into the dirt. 


He looked indifferent to her attempts, his eyes focused on Olga the entire time. 


"You truly don't have any control over your subjects it seems." He said with a light smirk.


"Who are you?" Olga demanded, his origin and goal still a mystery to her. "What is your purpose with me…"


"I'm Archer, and you're my prisoner." 


"..." She spotted no malicious tone from his voice, and he could have killed her before if he wanted to. Looking back at her destroyed castle, she sighed. Olga knew that this time, she had truly lost in this centuries long war. Worst of all, it wasn't even by Celestine — but a random stranger. 


"Y-You dare to say that to Olga-sama!?" Chloe shouted with vitriol. "You won't lay a finger on her un—gah!" Archer used the spear's wooden end and pushed down her face to the ground, making her eat dirt again. 


He gazed at Olga's reaction, "I'm not going to kill her, I've done enough today." 


"...Thank you." 


"Appreciate it, now get ready, I'm taking you with me." 


"HHHHHHHMNMMNMN!!!!" 


{Break}


-Feoh-


In a grande white castle deep within the land of Feoh, seven figures of extreme importance to the land of Eostia gathered together for the first time in many months. 


The first one being Maia who sat with her feet on the table and body leaning against the chair. Smelling like she drank an entire tanker of booze which made a certain blonde Princess Knight beyond maddened. Brynn stood by her side, though she no longer had her previous Knight armor and instead wore a black leather armor with accents of red that hung tightly around her body whilst leaving an open window that showed her cleavage. Though what drew the attention of many of the guards, Knights and even some Princess Knights was the copper colored metallic arm. 


Next to Maia sat Luu-Luu, in the middle of doing some sketches about some sort of contraption and even a few weapons. Fully immersed in her little bubble whilst ignoring everyone. 


Prim and Alicia sat side by side, the former looking a bit lost in her imagination. Her expression was a bit melancholic which worried Alicia who asked whether she was feeling ill — only to get a silent no. 


'What did that bastard do to her!?' Alicia screamed inside her head. Ever since the day he brought back her cousin, Prim has been acting quite out of the norm. Her usual bright personality and cheerfulness had been replaced with a silent and sometimes dazed state. She would spend the entire day in her room, coming out after many hours in a haggard state. 


'She swore that he didn't touch her nor forced himself upon her. Yet I can't help but worry…' At this point, Alicia wanted to find him and have that man get flailed and executed for his actions! 'Did he use some brainwashing spell on her? I must ask Celestine-sama to check Prim's condition after this meeting.'


On the opposite side of the table were both Claudia and Kaguya. The Levantine sat silently with her arms crossed, displaying a regal image that made many awed by her presence and aura. Yet no one knew that inside she was extremely worried about matters relating to her husband and her best friend. Meanwhile, Kaguya remained as expressionless as ever, her eyes closed as she waited for the most important person in the room to start talking. 


"Greetings fellow Shields, I'm glad you all came for this rather abrupt summon." Sitting between Claudia and Kaguya was Celestine, looking much better than her previous self — at least in Claudia's opinion. No one knew the absolute mess she was not that long ago. Now, all she could see was a determined goddess filled with a strong fire in her eyes. She wondered what happened?


"I obey your orders, Celestine-sama." Kaguya said.


"No worries, I wanted to get away from the forge a bit." 


"Prim and I are happy that you came to our kingdom. It is an honor we shall not forget!" 


"Hmm, I needed a drink." 


Everyone said their part, all curious what this meeting was about in the first place. 


"Now, the reason I called you here is related to a vision I got not that long ago. One that carries great importance to both the people and our duties as protectors of the innocent." Many tensed up when hearing that, even Maia sat properly despite having flushed cheeks. They all thought if this had to do with  Vault, Olga and her forces. He went on a campaign to battle the Dark Queen with the bravest men their alliance could have and marched for the Dark Lands. For days and weeks they didn't even receive a word of what could have happened,


From the window, a few moths flew in and landed upon Kaguya's hand.


"Have you learned something?" Celestine asked as she saw the priestess's messenger reach the room. She asked her about something in particular when she felt that burst of energy coming from Olga's territory. 


Crash!


None expected Kaguya to react so strongly, her eyes wide with shock and hands shaking. 


"Kaguya, what happened?" Celestine went over and comforted the woman. "What happened in the Dark Lands?" 


Everyone could feel the tension in the air. 


"... It's gone." She whispered quietly. "They are dead…"


"Vault defeated Olga?" Alicia asked, unable to believe the news. Unfortunately, the joy she experienced died instantly with what Kaguya said afterwards.


"Vault and Castle Discordia… they are all gone. The Kuroinu… have died." 


"..."


"WHAT!?" Maia was the first one to shout in disbelief.


What ensued afterwards was nothing but pure pandemonium.





Comments

Anonymous

Emiya is fully empowered by the world right? I cant wait to read their reactions in the next chapter. Great writing as always.

Brian Jenkins

Great set up chapter. Excited for what happens next wouldn't be shocked if Emiya just showed up to their meeting with Olga and Chloe with Handcuffs and has them join forces to kill this Beast. Wouldn't be shocked if the beast just wants to bang Emiya lol E rank luck. Sexiest woman being alive Beast of Lust fucks him... to death lol sarcasm aside this is great content

TAB Kg

If this is Kiara archer is so f**ked in all meanings of this word

Anonymous

Is the threat Beast II, Beast III/L, Beast III/R, Beast IV:L, Beast VI/S, or something else that is worse than the other options? Either way, it won’t be smooth sailing for Archer as he’s trying to have Eostia not become a Lostbelt. In other parts, Archer finally has some time to talk to the former Dark Queen and her loyal aide Chloe; and the facts that Castle Discordia and the Kuroinu are gone are revealed to the Seven Shield Alliance. Pandemonium indeed.

Anonymous

Very nice addition using the beast is a great idea to move this story past vault. I can't wait to see what comes next. I'm getting excited.

Anonymous

So this is what you meant by no spoilers? I have to admit this beast is very intriguing. At first I thought it the god of all evil but a Beast? You made this story into one of my most favorite! Keep up the good work

Benny

I’m interested in what Beast Type is plaguing this world? I’m still a bit unfamiliar with many of the Fate lore and stuff and only know the basics from the show but still I do hope we get a official name for the threat that Archer and co must face to save the world. Also I liked how Brynn had changed her uniform and it’s colour to fit her mentor/teacher, I’m gonna go out on a hunch that it’s a sign that Archer will eventually have his own female army in the near future. Lastly as I predicted Prim has hopelessly fallen for Archer and Alicia hates it lol

Eternity Smut

Seggs beast vs BONE OF HIS SWORD. Sounds like a plan to me :}

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Unlimited Slaps Works