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Partially beta read by Fabled Life and Paragon of Awesomeness

12k words... Damn

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-Archer’s Emerald Inn-


Truthfully, Emiya wasn't sure how he ended up in his current situation. It all happened so fast—one moment, he was offering minor help to some of the game's NPCs while also taking the opportunity to gather information about how the world worked, satiating his curiosity regarding the culinary aspects of the game. One thing led to another: helping a random merchant gather some raw resources and clean up an abandoned building his family owned, only to be gifted that same building because the owner had no other way to repay him for his service. 


‘Compensating someone by giving them an entire plot of land just for gathering resources found commonly a dozen meters away from the village and doing a few hours of chores? Either the one who designed these quest-giving characters lacked common sense, or I’m being involved in some kind of fraudulent scheme without knowing.’ Fortunately, that didn’t seem to be the case, and he highly suspected the latter wouldn’t happen in a game, but he wouldn't put it past anything made by highly advanced alien technology.


“Order up! Table four, roasted goat leg with a side of fries and salad,” he called out, carefully placing the plate filled with an assortment of ingredients he managed to acquire thanks to the aid of some of the villagers. He had promised them a few free meals in exchange for a certain type and amount of ingredients, effectively becoming like them—handing out quests, in a way, and reimbursing them with coins he initially gathered from them.


Ding!


A sound came from within his mind, one that at first confused him, but he quickly figured out it came from the game system itself. 


“Status…property…character sheet?” he muttered, uncertain about what these sounds even meant. He thought it had something to do with his status and leveling up system, but no matter what he tried—other than the menu linking to his inventory, quest details, and item descriptions—nothing else appeared. 

“Probably a bug in the system. It seems that no matter how advanced a civilization becomes, even one hundreds of years ahead of humanity, bugs still persist to this day.” Not willing to let the matter slip his mind, he invented his own system, which included noting down how many times this sound appeared and figuring it probably meant he was leveling up. Taking a sheet of goatskin paper from his pocket, he marked it down.


“By that logic, I should only be at level 5, but it’s weird this happens only when I'm done making a dish rather than completing a quest. Oh well, not like it’s anything dangerous.” Deciding not to dwell on it for much longer, he resolved to bring it up when everyone else was gathered and see how they handled it themselves. 


In the middle of his thought process, Emiya heard one of his assassin turned waitresses walk up to the counter.  “Mission complete, awaiting further orders, Master.” 


“Don’t call me master and go tend to the other patrons. Also please don't threaten to kill anyone who refuses to pay or starts trouble, just throw them out and ban them from ever coming back.” 


“Affirmative. What about the otokonoko?” She said with a straight face. 


“Stop calling me that, Yami-san!” Ren's frustrated face punched another drunk customer whose hands were trying to reach somewhere they shouldn't. “I want to reset my class, damn it!” 


His audible sigh was heard, “Just don't attack him like you did before just because you thought he was a pervert dressing up in girls' clothes.” 


“I will try… the princess's sisters and your siblings have arrived.”


“What?” Popping him out of the kitchen, Emiya turned his attention to the still speechless group who were watching everything with pure disbelief. “Oh hey! Certainly took you a while to get here, if you have time then help me fulfill these quests. I think I'm about to level up, though I still haven’t received the notification for that yet.” 


Those were interesting attires they had on, seeing some of them holding wands and having clogs on similarly to what one would expect of a tick pickle mage would have made him show a light smile on his face. Especially when he looked at Rito, the boy wearing a simple gardener costume. “I take it you guys have been playing the game in a different way than I have.”


Surprisingly, the first one to approach him was none other than Momo, who quickly made her way towards him and grabbed him by the collar. Due to their size difference, she had to tiptoe just to barely reach his level, eventually opting to levitate a few centimeters off the ground with the help of her wings. 


"I should be asking you that question! What is this place? Why are you cooking behind the counter? Did you even go to the emporium like I said, Emiya-san!?" For some reason, the girl acted somewhat terrified whenever she looked at the patrons in the inn, and he could hear her muttering, "This isn’t normal," over and over. 


Yet rather than give a sarcastic reply or push her away, he offered an awkward smile. "Right, the emporium. I was trying to make my way there but kind of got distracted by some of the features of this game. I can't even tell you exactly how I ended up like this. I kept completing quests after quest and then found these two in the woods, and they helped me run this place."


He quickly gave everyone a brief explanation and invited them over to have a meal, which none of them refused, their faces lighting up with pure pleasure as they ate. Having fed practically the entire village twice at this point, nearly all the locals were already full, and he didn’t have many tasks left. "You continue to surprise me. Normally, it’s nearly impossible to accomplish any quests without taking on a class first. You can’t level up, increase your stats, or gain any other abilities. You’re lucky you encountered a few slimes—those are literally the only mobs capable of being defeated by even the weakest player. I mean, Rito over here killed a bunch just by swatting them with his hand."


"Oi!" The young boy wearing a florist outfit looked at her with frustration. "Are you saying that I am the weakest player? I can't even deny that…" 


His previously offended expression immediately melted into self-pity. Emiya raised an eyebrow at that reaction but decided to focus on other matters for the time being. "It’s also lucky that you managed to defeat slimes. They may have only a single hit point, but getting struck by their substance could have made your life hell. You really are lucky."

 

"To gather more exotic ingredients, he hunted a lesser Basili—" Yami began to say, but was quickly silenced by the white-haired young man who placed a hand over her mouth, making sure she didn’t spill unnecessary information. The truth was, he had indeed hunted down plenty of different monsters in the surrounding area. These included not just slimes, but also lesser dryads, wild boars, and bears, all dispatched with the help of roughly made traps, stealth, and a bow he borrowed from the village.


The lesser basilisks ironically ended up being the easiest to kill when he just had to use a mirror at the end. The creature itself was already at death's door when he found it, most likely wounded by something else.


"Yeah, slimes. Troublesome fellows, though they did allow me to collect a fair amount of funds due to their abundance," he said, trying to play it off casually.


"That’s another thing you got lucky with. You could have easily come across a mutated or variant slime. Without having a class, it could have easily defeated you," Momo pointed out. "Regardless, we should hurry up to the emporium, finally get you a class, and then make our way to the Demon Lord’s castle to rescue the princess!" she announced with visible excitement, clearly pumped to get the adventure going. Mikan, Rito and Nana shared her enthusiasm, while Emiya nodded along, with Yami mimicking his actions. Ren, on the other hand, was still grumbling about the unfairness of his own class choice.


"Let me guess, does this princess happen to be Lala?" he asked, glancing at the twin sisters. They both nodded excitedly.


"Who else could it be? Having the hero traverse great mountains and plains, fighting through constant obstacles to save his darling princess before sealing their love with a kiss—only Lala would be the ideal person for this world!" Momo certainly had an active imagination, and he wasn’t about to ruin her experience. But still, he couldn't help but add, 


"Sorry to tell you this, but if she’s the princess held in the evil man’s lair or something, then I pity the guy more than anything else. Lala is more of a demon lord and behaves like one whenever it comes to her inventions going haywire."


His voice remained calm as he gave his opinion, but the others looked at him with a mix of surprise and amusement, realizing that their quest might not be as straightforward as they had initially thought.


"It doesn't matter! Trust me when I say this—the Demon Lord will not be your typical evil villain bent on world domination or something boring like that. I’m sure you’ll be very surprised yourself, fufufufu~!" Momo was brimming with confidence, her playful tone making it clear she was hinting at something unexpected. Emiya wasn't quite sure what kind of Demon Lord she was talking about, but since it was just a game, he wasn't too worried.


“You planned a lot.”


"Of course I did! You’re hard to impress, that much I know. So, I can tell with certainty that this game would make even someone like our father grin with joy. You’ll have tons of fun!" she added, it was as such moments where he could genuinely see some of the traits she and Lala shared. They were sisters after all, and despite being the more mature out of the tree, Momo had her moments from the looks of it.


"I'm not sure about the hard to impress part, then again it is a bit uncomfortable having my definition of fun being compared to a genocidal warlord who’s known for destroying worlds. But if you say so, I’ll trust you," he replied with a chuckle, amused rather than offended by the comparison. He understood what Momo was trying to convey, and he could see both his sister and Rito practically shaking with excitement, eager to continue their adventure. Best not to keep them waiting.


"I will miss this place," he said, removing his apron and setting it down on the counter. "And Momo, you’re wrong about one thing—I’m already having fun with this game, so you don’t need to prove anything to me. I'm already looking forward to coming back to play another session when I have more free time. Thank you for showing me this." For the first time, he gave her a genuine smile. 


Who would have thought running this place briefly would actually be entertaining…


“...”


"Nii-san smiled!?" Rito exclaimed, clearly shocked, with Nana and Mikan echoing his reaction. 


"Oi, what’s that supposed to mean? I can smile! I even smile every day," he shot back, though the man couldn’t help but slightly chuckle at their over-the-top surprise. “Isn't that right, Yami?” 


“I hear no lies.”


“Well there you go.” 


As if in complete synchronization, all three including Ren betrayed him by shaking their heads in unison. “Let's just get on with it then, to this Emporium and get my class. I'm curious to see what this world has to offer first and foremost — Lala can wait, for now.” 


A few heads around the Inn turned, large beady eyes staring holes the moment he uttered those words. Their faces glitching with thousand lines of alien numbers before showing a blank expression that alternated their standard idle smiles to a dark gaze. 


“A-Ah, I'm feeling cold all of a sudden.” Rito noted, quickly looking around and seeing nothing out of the ordinary. Though the Inn did get a bit too quiet, he didn't believe it was anything noteworthy and quickly caught up to the main group. 


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“He is leaving,” said the old granny who showed Emiya a brief introduction of the village. Her voice went from the usual jovial tone to a confused one, attempting to leave the Inn but freezing up at the entrance — her body and everyone else's struggling to take a single step outside. “I believe I should be returning to my house as well. My back has been killing me.” 


Following her action, many followed suit. One by one returning to their idle state and repeating the same lines Emiya heard in the beginning of every quest. 


“I need an adventurer willing to collect me ten stalks of blue ice lilies for my sister, who is sick and needs these herbs to brew a healing potion."


“Uuuuh, I can't clean my house because of these stupid spiders crawling around. If only I had a brave samaritan willing to help me in exchange for some coins!”


“Man, what a day. Hopefully someone can lend me a hand to transport this year's harvest to the granary.”


“My leg! My poor leg can't walk anymore, I just need some wood crutches to ease my pain for the day.”


“I need a hero of—?”


I'm unison, they all stopped, the characters struggled, clearly resisting the invisible force acting upon it with some turning their heads towards the kitchen. Their breaths came to a halt when noticing some of the utensils and ingredients despawn one by one with a countdown hovering over the air. 


[Player left quest zone]


[Reverting area to initial “abandoned” state upon dismissal of quest and reinstating it to NPC #174]


[Sub Quest: Serve a total of 100 people (89/100) Pending… Abandoned!]


A spark of shock flashed before some of the men when the drinks within their grasp slowly disappeared into thin air. The very food on their table turned transparent and untouchable, some ever turning into strings of code and numbers right as some hastily tried to eat them. 


“...”


The foreign sensation of hunger and thirst grabbed many by the neck in an instant, a few turning pale as their cured aliments returned along with a golden exclamation mark floating above their heads. “Th-This can't be!”


Even running inside the kitchen proved to be fruitless, for Emiya had stored nothing within the pantry and kept all his ingredients in the inventory. Even had he left a few unattended dishes laying around, a thin invisible wall separated the NPCs from entering. 


[No non-playable characters allowed entry.]


“H-He is leaving… and the village will turn back to normal.” They always whispered in unison, looking each other in the eyes and all having a singular thought shared among them. 


{Break}


“This is a Green Jade Rose, it's from my home planet and mama loves using it to decorate the palace with this.”


“Interesting, is it edible?” 


“Well, we don't eat it but I heard some old tribes would have ways to prepare them. Some of the plants like to eat them to reach maturity faster, so it should be safe to consume. I can show you other variants, some even have meat-like tissues and are very abundant in Deviluke.”


“What about this?” 


“Oh my, I'd rather you stay clear of that. It makes one start hallucinating. The taste is also very bitter, don't let its appearance fool you.”


There were many aspects of the game the group became focused on from the beginning, leveling up and increasing their stats. Get as strong as possible in the shortest amount of time and then embark on a journey to save Lala from the clutches of the Demon King. One aspect left completely forgotten turned out to be the aspects of the game that mimicked real life — a part that had managed to capture the complete attention of a certain red-headed boy. Along the way to the Emporium, Nana, Mikan and Rito strangely gazed at the duo in front of them. Momo spoke enthusiastically with Emiya as the latter showed her some of the reward items he gathered from his many quests. 


The back and forth between the two happened for quite a while, so engrossed in the finer details with plant life and alien fauna in general that the group felt forgotten. 


“Are you familiar with every type of plant?” 


Momo puffed out her chest, the tight clothing clinging to her form, clearly brimming with pride and happiness at the compliment she kept getting from the one person who both twins had long since thought was hard to please. This sight made Nana envious, unsure how to feel about it, while Mikan, on the other hand, didn’t dwell on it. Instead, she focused on their surroundings, noticing how quiet the village had become.


“Strange,” Mikan muttered. “In the last place we were, there were still people wandering around even in the most remote areas of the village. But here, I’m seeing no one. Just what the hell did her brother do to have these NPC characters act so weirdly and rush to the center where his tavern was?”


No one had an answer for that. All she could do was sigh and follow the group as they finally made their way to the Emporium.





As they arrived at the place he had been close to at the beginning, a strange sense of absurdity washed over Emiya. This village barely seemed large enough to support more than a few hundred people at best. It was a small farming village where one would expect to find nothing extraordinary—peaceful and quiet. Yet, in a matter of a few hours, his curiosity had led him to something far from ordinary.


“This is not what I expected,” Emiya muttered as the group stood before a three-story building that looked like it belonged in a bustling city, not in the middle of nowhere at the edge of a rural village. The architecture didn’t resemble anything medieval. The building was made of perfectly carved bricks, layered with pure white cement, and adorned with stained glass windows in some areas and clear ones in others. The roof was made of red clay, and the two gigantic wooden doors were intricately grafted with layers of gold emblems. The entire image was so grandiose that it looked more like a miniature royal palace than anything else.


“You really think so? It doesn’t look that fancy. The standard houses on Planet Deviluke are better,” Momo commented, her opinion valid given their civilization and standards of living. But Emiya’s earthly perspective made the building seem extravagant.


“Let’s go inside,” he said, shrugging off his thoughts. They were here to have his class assigned and start their journey to save Lala—or whatever. The chaotic princess was more than capable of handling such a situation herself, and he half-expected that she’d willingly stay by the Demon King’s side just to see him rush to her rescue as a hero. 


‘No, Lala wouldn’t do that willingly,’ he thought. ‘She’s not the type to make cunning or deceitful moves. Most likely, someone convinced her to stay over there, rather than destroy everything in her path like a walking natural disaster.’


As the doors creaked open with a loud groan, darkness greeted them, catching him off guard. The unnatural pitch-black interior was strange, given the bright sunlight outside that should have illuminated everything inside. Emiya hesitated, his paranoia creeping in. With no sound nor person in sight made it ideal for an attack.


“An ambush?” he wondered, his body tensing up. 


But then, a sudden, harsh light flooded the room, blinding him momentarily. As his eyes adjusted, he wasn’t at all prepared for what stood before him.


“Welcome to the everytrade emporium!” a group of scantily dressed bunny girls cheered, waving large party poppers in their hands. Cheering loudly and jumping around with their assets almost showing everything — they all had the same exact face. The entire scene was so disjointed from what he had seen so far that Emiya froze, trying to process what had just happened.


“Surprised, right?” Mikan teased, a sly smirk on her face as she appeared from behind him. “Tch, I should’ve brought a camera. Hey, Momo, can I borrow one from you?”


“I thought you didn't like blackmailing people?” 


“I've changed my mind.” Passing her a small, his sister quickly took a picture of his frowning face. “Tch, I wasn't fast enough. Anyways, are you ready to start adventuring for real? I must warn you, the classes are chosen at random with you having no control over it. I got mage, Rito florist, Momo is a herbalist but I'd like to just consider her a green mage and Nana is a summoner — also a wanna-be litch in the making since all she summoned so far were undead skeletons.”


“Hey, I can also summon regular creatures!” 


“Do you have a status menu where you can see your parameters?” He asked, wondering what scaling system this game followed. 


“Yup, take a look.”


Here’s a status page for Nana, showing her class as a Mage at Level 8 along with some random stats:


---


**Status Page: Yuuki Mikan**


Class: Mage

Level: 5


—-----


**Attributes:**


Health Points (HP): 140 / 140

Mana Points (MP): 500 / 500

Strength (STR): 4

Intelligence (INT): 11

Dexterity (DEX): 6

Wisdom (WIS): 10

Endurance (END): 7

Luck (LCK): 25


**Skills:**


Fireball: Lv. 2


· Cast a ball of fire that deals moderate fire damage. Costs 50 MP.


Arcane Shield: Lv. 2


· Creates a protective shield that absorbs damage for a short time. Costs 75 MP.


Mana Regeneration: Lv. 1


· Passively regenerate MP at an increased rate. 


—----


“Interesting, simpler than I imagined. Your intelligence is very high as well isn't it?” Emiya carefully observed the page, it was standard information though the skills part certainly was interesting. “So I will have something like this huh. But wait, why did Ren and Yami already have their classes pre assigned to them?”


“Oh, about that, aniki, I just found another emporium near my spawn point.” 


“Same for me.”


The two answered, just how common were these emporiums for them to appear randomly in the middle of nowhere…


“According to Momo, they can spawn and despawn anywhere anytime, mostly depending on where new players are,” she then turned towards Momo, the pink haired girl having a large grin on her face before she waved at the bunny girls.


“Class for one person! Order up!” One of the girls went ahead towards a level, pulling it and having a beam of light shine right upon him. He felt nothing honestly, there were no physical changes to what he was already wearing and he even wondered if there was an issue. 


That was until he saw a notification appear before him.


[Congratulations on getting assigned a class!]


“So it did work,” before he even did anything, multiple pairs of eyes zoomed in on him and he found himself surrounded by his group eagerly waiting to see his class. “Aren't all of you a bit too eager?” he said with a small smirk.


“Don't make us wait, Nii-san! Just say status.” 


Who was he to pour cold water on their excitement, even he was curious as to what he got. “Status.”


In an instant, a blue interface appeared before his eyes and the moment he looked at it, Emiya froze. 


“Eh?”


—---



**Status Page: Archer**


Class: Chef, ? (Sealed)

Level: 3, ? (Sealed)



**Attributes:**


Health Points (HP): 550 / 550

Mana Points (MP): 300 / 300

Strength (STR): 9

Intelligence (INT): 8

Dexterity (DEX): 9

Wisdom (WIS): 11

Endurance (END): 8

Luck (LCK): 1


**Parameters: (Sealed)**


Strength: D (Sealed)

Endurance: C (Sealed)

Agility: C (Sealed)

Mana: B (Sealed)

Luck: E (Sealed)



**Skills:**


Foraging sense: Lv. 6


· Cast a spell to detect any and all of the closest ingredients near you. Cost 10 MP


Cooking: Lv. 10 (Max)


· There is nothing within these lands you can't cook! Increases all attributes depending on the level of dish when consumed by anyone. Gives you the ability to make the dish similar to high grade potions. Cost 100 MP


Independent Action: ?


Magic Resistance: ?


Clairvoyance: ?


Projection (Magecraft): ?


Mind’s Eye (True): ?

  

—---


What the hell was this? His eyes weren't paying any tricks on him, but he just couldn't believe what he was seeing at this moment.


“Wow, dual class… Nii-san is awesome!” 


Emiya's eyes twitched when he heard his sister having a hard time holding back her laughter while Momo was rubbing her temples. Yami looked over and back at him a couple of times.


“Makes sense.”


What made sense!?


“So… will you fight with a pan, Shirou?” 


“Not the time for jokes, Mikan.” 


“Pft-hahahaha!” 


The only saving grace of his current situation was that he didn't get a class like hero, something he feared would happen at the back of his mind. The irony wouldn't be lost on him, but he was more than happy getting the chef one.


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"So, where is our next destination? Since it's almost night, I don't think it would be wise to travel," Emiya remarked, trying to grasp the situation of his class and his parameters, somehow making an appearance in a game of all places!


After dealing with the class debacle and the unsettling discovery of his irregular stats, he thought it best to keep his concerns to himself, at least for now. Momo or Nana didn't have answers, meaning he’d need to find Lala and confront her about it later. 


"Don't worry, it’s actually safer to travel at night in this region," Nana replied confidently. "Unlike other areas, you’ll mostly find low-level slimes, regular animals like boars, and a few deer here. There aren’t any dangerous mobs or plant life that can pose a threat to us at our current level."


Nana puffed out her chest proudly, trying to mimic Momo's confident stance. However, when the effect wasn’t what she hoped for, she quickly deflated, praying no one noticed her attempt. The group began to make their way out of the village.


"Also, I just noticed—where are the other NPCs? None of the houses are lit up," Nana observed, her curiosity piqued.


As if on cue, the sounds of footsteps echoed around them. The group halted as several villagers emerged from the shadows, holding torches, pitchforks, and other farming tools. An uneasy feeling crept into their hearts, especially Rito, who took a few steps back and looked at Momo—their usual guide in this strange game world.


"Momo?"


"..."


Unfortunately, Momo was just as confused as the rest of them, her face a picture of uncertainty. The cold night air added to the ominous atmosphere, the chill seeping into their bones. Ren, in particular, sought refuge behind Emiya, using him as a shield from the villagers' prying eyes and his own growing fear.


"Is something the matter?" Emiya broke the silence, trying to gauge the situation.


"No need to worry. Since they’re minor NPCs at the edge of the map, they don’t have any other dialogue—"


"You can’t leave," interrupted the old granny who had welcomed them upon their arrival. Her words were sharp, cutting off Momo mid-sentence.


"What?" Emiya asked, his calm demeanor never faltering despite the growing tension.


The old woman’s smile was anything but friendly as she gripped her pitchfork, aiming it directly at the group. "You’ve done so much for us in such a short time, something we’ve never experienced before. But once you leave, this... this feeling will be gone forever. So, be a good boy and listen to this granny’s advice. Get back behind that counter."


Emiya remained composed, though his companions were visibly unnerved. He turned to Momo who then turned to Nana, "Oi, Nana, do you remember any hidden event that causes NPCs to act like this?"


"Why are you asking me, you idiot? And as far as I know, no!" Nana shot back quickly.


"You want me to keep working at the Inn?" Emiya asked, crossing his arms. "I’m afraid I can’t do that. Even though my time here was short, I had fun and learned a lot about managing a place like that. But I didn’t come here to do this forever, so please, let us through."


He spoke politely, his eyes briefly meeting Yami's. The silent exchange was clear—he was ready for anything. 


"Is that so..." The old granny raised her pitchfork. "Capture him. Throw out the rest."


In an instant, the villagers charged at them.


"What the hell!? Peaceful NPCs shouldn’t even have programming to attack in the first place!" Nana exclaimed, bewildered.


"We’ll figure that out later. For now, focus on breaking through the blockade," Emiya ordered.


Yami's hair sprang to life, transforming into dozens of human-sized fists that easily swatted away the attacking villagers. Even those with shields were no match for her assault.


"Huh? That was... easy," Yami remarked, surprised by how effortlessly they were repelled.


With a chef’s knife in hand, Emiya had expected a much tougher fight. "Wait…”


Instantly the entire group was assaulted by these never-ending strings of notifications and warnings from the game itself. More of them appeared above the NPCs' heads, many of whom stood back up with the same expression as before. 


[You cannot harm non-hostile mobs.]


“What the hell does it mean by non-hostile!? We are literally being swarmed by pitch folks and stakes come out and why the hell are they even hurt!?”


A similar question appeared within Emiya's hands when he noticed when he observed the same one of the people who got knocked away by now Yami's hair a handful of times get back once more with no injuries whatsoever present on their face. The same people getting bombarded by Mikan now standing completely still and letting the magic attack strike them right in the center of their chests. 


But they kept getting back up.


This couldn't go on!


"Yami, clear us a path! Everyone else, grab my other hand, now!" Emiya commanded, his voice steady despite the tension.


Without hesitation, they obeyed. Yami's hair gathered together, forming a large hand that chopped the ground harshly, pushing the villagers aside and leaving a clear path.


"Now!" Emiya urged.


Using all of his strength, which he hadn’t needed to rely on until now, he dashed through the quickly closing gap, pulling the others along with him. They managed to escape the village at the last second, the sounds of the angry villagers fading behind them as they broke free.


“Aaaaah!”


“Stop pushing me!”


“My face!” 


“No! Don't leave! Please!” 


“My youth! MY YOUTH!!” 


In an instant, the raging crowd came to a complete half right at the edge of the village. Their faces squished against an invisible wall that prevented them from even taking a single step outside the set boundaries. The group released a sigh of relief, having barely managed to make it out in time. “Is this supposed to be one of those special events you keep talking about, Mikan?” 


Perhaps it wasn't the best time to make light comments, a conclusion Emiya came to when the usually playful and mischievous Momo grabbed him by the collar and stared back unblinking fervor. “What. Did. You. Do?”


This was his fault? Hard to see how she even reached that conclusion, “I only completed a few quests and played around with the game mechanics. How is that supposed to cause such a mess?” 


“Your weird status and class says otherwise. There shouldn't be a dual class system or even one with letters!” 


“Blame Lala.” 


Visibly unconvinced, the girl awaited further explanation which he didn't have. 


“Watch out!” 


“—!”


Turns out the villagers weren't ready to give up just yet, Ren's panicked voice turning their attention to the entrance where multiple lassos were thrown in a desperate move to capture them. The alien boy bravely reaching out his hands, using his strength to push him away as far as possible. 


“Hngh!” 


Only to end up being a complete waste of effort given he didn't even manage to even budge the two in the slightest and incidentally ended up having a couple of the lassos fall perfectly around him before tightening. 


“...”


“...”


“Eh?” He could visibly see the boy's face turn soulless, barely grasping the reality of his actions backfiring on him. 


“We caught the beautiful tomboy bunny girl waitress! Pull her now!” 


“Can she cook like the other adventurer!?” 


“Of course she can, she wouldn't shut up about how he’s her mentor or something!” 


“Great, everyone at once PULL!!” 


“WAAAHHHHH HELP!!! I TOLD YOU I'M A MAN!” 


Seeing Ren get dragged away by the villagers whose eyes were filled with pure greed, Emiya actually felt bad and felt it'd be best to help him. His actions stopped at the end when a certain blonde assassin stepped in between, she shook her head and said confidently. 


“The otokonoko can handle it.” 


“Huh?” 


“Yami-chan is right,” Mikan added, dusting off her clothes. “It's more trouble than it's worth, he'll just respawn somewhere else or get logged out of the game. Let's not mess around with buggy areas, it'll just create more issues.”


“...”


Spoken without a hint of sympathy for the guy who was now being carried towards the tavern screaming for help all along, he wasn't sure how to feel about it. He hoped Rito had a different reaction at the very least. 


“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” 


Except the latter somehow found himself entangled with Nana by ropes tightly wrapped around them. 


“...”


Right, he wasn't even surprised at this point.


“Let's just keep on walking, those two can sort it out by themselves. There is a town on the other end of this region, we should reach it before the sun rises.”


And so, the group finally embarked on their journey.


(Bonus part 2 done)


-Sainan-


It was supposed to be a simple plan, one worked on and polished for the past few days. The very road that ensured to lead her to enact a cold revenge on that crazy princess! Despite Ren's constant nagging and stubborn desire to stay in control whenever he was around the eldest Yuuki sibling, she managed to strike a deal at the end. 


Run saw how the matters concerning the fiancee candidate played an enormous part in Emiya's worries. The bits and pieces she managed to uncover from days of careful observation from afar, gossip from the students, bribing the school nurse to keep her identity a secret and finally approaching Yuuki Rito with a cute smile. 


To use this opportunity she barely managed to acquire a couple of pictures of them on a date, carefully planting seeds of affection with her naturally superior looks and dating tactics to have him naturally fall for her! From one princess to another, one that even the Emperor wouldn't mind given he was allies with her father! 


Yet this very moment her plan didn't even start properly, already Run was met with a roadblock. 


“Eurgh… I feel weird.” 


The others couldn't see it yet but she could, the smoke in her surroundings which had dispersed enough for her to find herself held closely and protectively from what both had assumed to be an enemy attack. 


“Are you hurt?” 


This… this person spoke, sounding completely different from her to-be date, believing that he'd been struck by the strange laser. Her nose tickled by strands of hair, the dreaded feeling of a sneeze creeping up, this coupled with the dense amount of smoke in the area irritating it further much to her dread — Run gritted her teeth to hold it back. 


‘No! Just just away, Ren! I'm in control and you'll have your time after, let me have this!’ 


She shifted in the grasp of whoever this was, feeling a soft sensation pressing against her shoulders but paid it no mind. Blinking repeatedly, her heart skipped a beat for a moment, disbelief and shock plastering upon Run's face when she laid her gaze upon the person before her. 


The hair was a striking cascade of red, threaded with delicate streaks of white, just like Emiya's. Her golden-brown eyes, though no longer as sharp as they once were, still held a rather intimidating frown though this time coupled with worry when looking at her. A soft face, one who had a more rounded contour, yet retained a sharply defined chin.


‘Wow…’ Her brother's voice within her consciousness, a sentiment she actually ended up sharing.


“Wh-who are you…?” She stuttered, whether it was due to the attack or just being held so closely by this woman who looked a bit too much like Emiya for her liking. The closer she looked, those were the same clothes he wore…


So this the entire time…


“Huh? What do you mean by—my voice!? “ The woman stopped in the middle of her speech, disbelief and shock showing on her face when she touched her throat. Eyes widening with pure horror and almost dropping Run when she further assessed her physical self. Then finally freezing when those eyes turned downward and stayed there for a good few seconds.


“You were a Memorze this entire time!?” 


“Nii-san?” 


.


.


.


Emiya felt something was wrong with his body as soon as he caught Run from falling. Worried that he would be wounded, he braced but felt no pain afterwards. Worried that the beam somehow was somehow able to inflict another kind of damage or just fried his pain nerves on his skin so fast that his brain couldn't register it in time made the usage of a structural analysis important — yet the result confused him. 


‘No injuries, no cuts or even poison?’ 


That was before he found his hair, touch of his skin and body as a whole changed completely to the point he didn't even recognize himself. The wave of denial could only keep up for so long till he felt new additional weights on his chest. 


Whatever Run shouted or even the presence of his brother were lost in the background of his mind. 


It was only thanks to one of the reflection windows from the stores nearby did he manage to catch a glimpse of his face and that discovery broke his calm. 


“W-What the hell!?” He shouted loudly, the feminine voice that came out of his mouth serving as the final nail in the coffin forcing him to wake up to reality. 


‘Trace on,’


“Nii-san!?” 


“Emiya-kun!?


He heard more voices from a distance start panicking when his hands glowed a gentle blue glow with motes of light gathering at the center to take shape of the weapon that jumped at the front of his mind the moment he knew what happened. The ever so familiar ritualistic weapon he at this point used more times than the witch herself whenever she was summoned. 


Holding an elegant, ancient design befitting a sorceress of her stature. The dark, almost obsidian-like material reflected the light with a faint mystical sheen as it blurred within his hold. The twisted blade slashing the back of his hand at the surface, enough to draw a tiny bit of blood. 


“...” 


Nothing changed. Eliminating the possibility this was some kind of illusion of spell cast upon him. 


What happened? That circled within his mind hundreds of times a second, trying to find any and every conceivable explanation until he found his answer descending from the sky and landing near Rito. Shell shocked just like the rest, she alone held a particular device in her hand that bore Lala's favorite swirl pattern. 


Other than anger, he was also surprised that it was her of all people that did this. 


More people appeared, this one being Mikan and Lala, the former having her jaw drop while the latter showed a face of pure wonder for some reason.


“Oh my,” Momo landed right next to the culprit — the latter now pale white when she noticed his glare, cupping her face, a hint of jealousy flashed when she looked downwards. “Not exactly Mama's size but close. Would you look at what you've done, Nana, though don't get jealous.”


“Momo!?” 


He dropped Run, getting from the ground and completely locked onto the trembling Deviluke princess who forced the gun onto Momo who then pointed at Rito. “I had nothing to do with shooting that gun, with your brother as my witness who actually was about to get shot by Nana but tripped at the last second.” She spoke calmly, a far cry from what Nana was showing at this very moment which served to further incriminate her in his eyes. 


Even his height changed when standing completely straight, but not by that much. 


Unable to bear any longer, Nana tried to fly away while shouting, “I'm sorry!” 


Unfortunately for her, he wasn't in a good mood any longer. Making use of reinforcement, the distance between them was closed with a large gust of wind — enough to make Momo flinch backwards. ‘Slight decline in my physical abilities, I can't let this be permanent!’


“Hya!” The poor girl screamed as if she was facing the grim reaper, an electrifying sensation coursing throughout her body that was both painful yet faintly pleasure inducing. “A-Ahhh! I-I-I’m… it's going to b-break!” 


Strength left her limbs, including her wings when Emiya's grasp on her tail tightened and used it as a rope to hold the now upside down girl whose hair barely touched the ground. Twitching from the slightest movement, unable to do anything but look at Emiya pleadingly. 


{Break}


(An hour later)


“Hmm, say ahh for me~!”


Back at home, Emiya sat inside Lala's room while the eldest princess held some kind of strange device in her hand and waited for him to follow her instruction with a smile on her face. 


Exhaling, he followed suit. “Ah.” 


Whatever the device was, it made some strange sounds before growing silent. 


“Alrighty! It's done!” Lala said, back away and stretching her arms. 


“Should I expect some good news or bad news?” 


“Eh? I guess good news? Though knowing you, it'll probably sound like bad news hehehe.” 


Had it been any other time then he would have just rolled his eyes and not pay that much attention to what she said. But given the current state he was in, Emiya was very fearful of what she implied by that. “Nana better pray to every single gods or divine spirits you may worship in your own world that isn't permanent. You as well, I'm this close from permanently destroying all of your inventions that are of no use.” 


“Eeeeh! But it wasn't my fault this time! I don't know why my sisters took so much of my stuff that I haven't worked on for a while and even kept those things away in my closet. So it's not fair!” 


Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Emiya understood he was letting his anger out just a tiny bit. The only thing keeping him calm was the understanding that Lala wouldn't act like this if his condition was permanent. “Just tell me everything.” 


“Well, you will only be a girl temporarily and it won't be a permanent thing.”


He raised an eyebrow, “What does temporarily mean in this context?” 


To that she thought for a bit before shrugging, “Can be anything from a few hours to at most a handful of days. But given how weird Shirou's body is in the first place, it shouldn't take that long anyways.” 


“That won't do, we have school tomorrow. There is no chance in hell I will go there looking like a girl. I can already imagine having to fend off those boys with a wooden sword. Perhaps I'll have to resort to breaking their bones and have them be hospitalized for a few days.” 


A bit too much, that much he knew, but with how extremely perverted the students in this world were compared to what he knew… “Or maybe not, I can just choose to skip. But this would create the perfect opportunity for another alien to attack and Rito can't exactly fend for himself.” while Emiya continued to ponder on his next course of actions, going from just putting on a convincing disguise or even having his entire family just not go to school the next day. But if he went with the latter, then his parents would know and come over to check or in a worst case scenario others might come as well.


"You worry too much, Shiro. Besides, you look so cute right now! You can try out some of my own clothes since it's very likely Momo’s won’t fit you," Lala said with a playful grin. Her words hit Emiya like a sharp jab to the heart. He never imagined he’d find himself in such a bizarre situation. But before he could dwell too long on his predicament, Lala suddenly hugged him, pressing her face against his chest.


"Hmm, I don’t know," she murmured, "It feels softer, but I like your other self better. It reminds me of the time you saved me from the evil subordinates of Zastin."


Emiya felt very VERY uncomfortable.


"Can't you just shoot me with that gun again and change me back to a boy or something?" he asked, hoping for a quick solution. But deep down, he was starting to realize that getting back to his old self might take longer than he’d like. "I know it's only temporary, but I’d really like to return to normal as soon as possible."


Without a word, Lala grabbed the device and aimed it at him. Emiya fought the instinct to dodge, treating it like a real gun. But as she pulled the trigger, nothing happened.


"It’s on cooldown," Lala explained, shrugging. "I never thought I’d need to use it multiple times. It was just an experiment."


"Why do all your inventions have the most basic limitations, like power efficiency or stability, while others have excessive power or can’t be broken easily?" Emiya asked, glancing at Peke, who was recharging in the background. The robot hadn’t interacted with him since the transformation and behaved as if nothing had changed. "That bundle of tin, despite its faulty behavior, is probably your only reliable invention—second only to the washer downstairs."


Lala beamed. "I knew you'd like it! The next thing I’m working on is an infinity fridge! We can store a hundred times the amount of ingredients, and in some areas, it even reaches absolute zero!"


He didn’t even question her ability to replicate absolute zero. "No, that would only destroy the food and nothing else," he said, though he couldn’t help but be intrigued by such an appliance. He was already making plans for grocery shopping if she ever completed it. "It would indeed save me a lot of time, and I could buy much more during sales—wait a minute, we’re getting off track."


This wasn’t the time to worry about grocery shopping and space management. He needed to focus on getting back to his old self. "Let’s forget about the other parts of this issue. I’m also weaker than my previous self. My magecraft hasn’t changed, but my physical strength has taken a nosedive. It wouldn’t be ideal if I got attacked while in this state."


"Oh! I can make you a suit of armor that increases your strength tenfold and gives you the ability to fly!" Lala offered excitedly.


"No, that won’t be necessary... Just focus on the fridge for now." Emiya sighed. "Another problem is that my fighting style will be slightly hindered by my current state. Certain moves won’t flow as smoothly as before, and my reduced height can and will affect my actions in the middle of combat. I’ve fought as my other self since the beginning, so this change is... disorienting."


It was a bit of a lie. When he was first reborn into this world, he had struggled to adjust to his new body. Wielding Kanshou and Bakuya, half his size as a child, hadn’t gone as smoothly as he’d hoped. But he had adapted and practiced with smaller weapons in his spare time, and his current state wasn’t that short compared to his original height since he was still a bit taller than Lala. Still, he wanted to create a sense of urgency to push Lala into thinking of a solution she might have been ignoring.


"Hmm, I could accelerate the charging rate of the device and have it ready much sooner than expected," Lala mused. "But since it’s an old invention, I haven’t worked on it in a while. I don’t want it to malfunction and create more problems for you."


Emiya almost couldn’t believe his ears. The fact that Lala was genuinely hesitant about improving or powering up one of her inventions without testing it first was something she wouldn’t have done in the past.


“Oh wait, I know! Booby-boob Rocket-kun!” 


He already contemplated living the next few days living inside his house rather than try out whatever Lala was going to say with a name like that coming out of her mouth. 


“I made that with the same components, Though it should only work on the girls by affecting the hormone balance within a girl's body to give her the ideal boob size. I can make some adjustments and have it change you back to your previous self. Now it won't work on you, I think? I'm not sure. You want to try it out?”


“Absolutely not, remember what you just said before!” 


“Oh right, testing!”


Ignoring the strange choice of name and whatever reason Lala had making such a device in the first place, there was nothing else he could do. - How long till you get it ready after testing it? -


“I'm not sure, I can't guarantee that it will be done before or after the effects of the previous device on you fades away and you return back to normal. But with a bit of luck and some help from Mikado-sensei who can make sure everything is safe, I can maybe get it done ahead of schedule!”


That actually sounded like a solid plan, “All right, will do just that. Though if I had to take a guess, then that means someone has to go to Mikado and ask her to come over and help you out." The energetic nod was the only answer he received. 

 

Right, he remembered Ringo left one of those large sized coats somewhere in her room. If she hadn't then you could always just project one. “I'll handle that, but before that I have to get food ready with Mikan. It'll take maybe half an hour, okay?” 


“Okay~!” Just as he was about to leave, Emiya was stopped by Lala grabbing his hand and nearly making him fall on the floor. “Wait! Before you go I want to ask you something.”


“I'm not going to wear your clothes nor anyone else—”


“Not that!” She interjected. “If I can get this thing ready with Mikado sensei's help very soon, can you promise me a reward? Hopefully something I chose?”


“Where did that come from?”


“I saw it on TV with magical girl Kyoko Chan! She said being promised a reward by someone you love for completing a task will make me far more efficient and increase the success rate a hundred fold. So I wanted to try it out and see… so?” 


He didn't outright reject her, she wasn't asking him something ridiculous like another marriage proposal or having a wedding or anything else ludicrous but just a simple reward. Lala wasn't one to be deceitful or have hidden agendas to begin with so he wasn't much suspicious about this request in the first place. So he shrugged, “If it's not anything ridiculous then sure, I don't see any harm in it.”


“Yay!”


And with that, he left the room with Lala humming happily in the background.





Surprisingly enough, his daily routine inside the house went on smoothly, his regular clothes fitted him perfectly though a bit tight in certain areas weren't a major concern. Laundry was already handled and all that was left was to prepare lunch for everyone.


“Mau!” Celine sat on his shoulders, trying to reach for his chest which he quickly dissuaded her from with a spoonful of rice. “Hmmm…”


“It's good isn't it? Cooked it in chicken broth rather than plain water. Should keep you occupied from going to touch places you really shouldn't.” He couldn't fault the young child and her curiosity taking the better of her, he still remembered how the moment he came back home she jumped towards his chest and wouldn't let go for a good while. 


Apparently starting to call him Mama from what Momo mentioned, though he suspected the girl was just teasing him. 


“Hehehehe! Mau!” Though it seemed she became more interested in playing with his long hair now. Somehow they turned smoother than glossy from what he previously had and that caught her attention. Playing with each strand as if trying to braid them. “Mau!”  


“Be gentle now, I don't want a bald spot from you pulling so much.”


Not that she wouldn't mess with his hair even before, but they weren't long enough to braid them. He wondered what would happen if he cut his hair right now into his previous fashion. Would reverting to his regular body shorten then even further till it resembled the standard military cut? 


Though he didn't mind the long hair that much, choosing to comb it backwards and tie it up at the end. The only glaring difference being Mikan next to him looking at him unblinkingly for the past few minutes. He tried to ignore it at first, focusing on conversing with Celine and having her be his taste tester. 


Which turned out to be a bad idea since the kid just liked and cheered for everything he gave her.


But the longer it went on for, the more uncomfortable the constant staring became. So he relented, “If you have something to say then say it.” 


“Nothing… just realizing how frighteningly natural you give off the vibe of a mother. Especially in this form… I'm more inclined to call you mom than anything else.”


“Our real mother will be heartbroken finding out her dear little daughter replaced her so easily with a fake one.”


“Doubt it, with the looks you have now she will definitely drag you to France and force you to become a model for her brand and dresses. She's been dreaming of doing that with me when I'll eventually get older but now she has a fully grown daughter number two.”


His eyes twitched, “I burn all of her dresses if she so much as tries to make me wear them.”


She huffed, most likely secretly finding some pleasure seeing him outside his comfort zone. He knew that kind of look, the same one Tohsaka Rin would describe that one time she tried to use a blu-ray player.  


“Still, I am a bit jealous that your hair is so silky and soft. You use the same cheap shampoo as Rito while I have to use the expensive ones with conditioner and oils. Also, how the hell is your chest bigger than Lal—” 


“—Moving on!” Best he changes the topic of the conversation and not jump into that rabbit hole. “Where is Rito? I'm almost done cooking, after this I'll go outside for a bit so he'll have to help you with the cleaning.”


“Ah, I'm here onee—uh... Nii-san!” 


Emiya's eyes twitched once more, he didn't know whether everyone was messing with him or not. “Rito, pick up Celine for me, please?  I would rather she not fall asleep and accidentally fall anywhere near the fire.”


“S-sure.” 


Hm, why did he stutter?


“Wait, watch where you're going!” 


“Wah!”


His initial confusion turned into shock when he heard Mikan speak like that. Turning his head around to see what happened to Rito and seeing something that he wished came to his mind sooner. 


The edge of Rito's pants somehow got caught by a wooden splinter strong enough to make him lose his step. Eyes widened in stupor as he was now falling straight towards him with his hands reaching out for the closest thing to catch for support. 


Or his chest in this case. 


‘His curse activated with me around even when I'm not a real girl!? Damn it! If I move then Mikan will fall victim, the other way then he will get himself burned by the boiling sauce and both of my hands are holding Celine to even block him!’


In Emiya's eyes, time almost came to a screeching halt, his mind going into overdrive like it never did before in order to counter this move without hurting anyone or just blasting Rito away with a nameless club, he chose the least violent option while already apologizing the boy profusely in his mind. 


Bam! 


His knees shot up, hitting Rito straight up the chin while he turned his chest around just enough to avoid being grabbed. The attack holding enough force vertically lifted his brother in the air before ending up crashing onto the kitchen table behind with a loud crash. 


“Mau!”


Celine clapped her hands, enjoying the performance with clear glee and her eyes looking back at him asking for more. 


He didn't pay any attention to those, quickly passing Celine onto Mikan removing his apron before heading straight for the entrance. 


“E-Eh, wh-where are you going? You're not going to eat?” 


“It is clear that I have severely underestimated my current situation! The longer I stay here, the more I'll be susceptible to falling prey to Rito's antics, I rather not take the chances and just forcefully carry Mikado here if I have to. The longer I stay the more likely it'll get worse!”


Quickly grabbing onto a mask, sunglasses and hat, he rushed outside and projected a large trenchcoat to further hide his appearance to the outside world and not risk anyone recognizing him.


“I owe Haruna an apology as well, no wonder she keeps punching that kid.” 


It was adamant now that he erased that kind of tendency from Rito's being. Whether it was a curse or an unconscious action he'd get to the bottom of it.


“She should be in her house right now, if she has any customers then I'll just have to scare them away for now.” 


Hastily rushing through the streets of Sainan, he made sure to avoid empty areas where he'd be most exposed if someone were to get curious towards him, choosing highly dense crowds to blend in and disappear from sight. Keeping his eyes open for cameras, familiar faces, animals and anything remotely dangerous. 


His strategy worked for him so far, everyone was mostly focused on their phones or on the traffic light while waiting for it to turn green and the oncoming cars. His smaller stature helped now that he thought about it, but still best to keep a low posture. 


“Tch,”


Unfortunately, at the corner of his eyes, standing on the other side of the street waiting to cross stood a familiar stoic Kendo practitioner. Most likely coming back from a training session given she looked a bit tired and also had a tracksuit one. The ever present bokken of hers wrapped and carried behind her back. 


‘At least she's alone, would have been worrying if she was accompanied by the other two.’ 


A minor issue more than anything else, she didn't notice him when blended within the crowd and he made sure to not turn his head towards her at any point. Only moving his eyes hidden behind the sungl—!?


Like one of those scenes straight out of those horror movies Mikan and Rito liked to watch when very young, Rin's head instantly snapped straight towards him. The whiplash of her movement was enough to scare some of the nearby people, one of the business men got slapped by the end of her ponytail, though he looked more happy than anything else.


Her sudden movement genuinely made Emiya's skin crawl, yet he remained composed and didn't show any outward sign that he was watching her. ‘She couldn't have noticed me, it's impossible. Unless she has some supernatural abilities to detect me alone in the middle of such a dense crowd. Something else must have caught her attention.


Jiiiii~


“...”


This light couldn't turn green any faster.


Jiiiiiiii~


“...”


Any second now.


Jiiiiiiiiiii~


He should have just taken the risk and just taken a completely different route. 


The crossing light turned green as soon as he started to regret his decision. “Finally.” Maintaining a steady pace, Emiya continued with the crowd, neither rushing nor slowing down more than necessary. The entire time keeping Rin at the corner of his vision as she started to cross the road as well, this time her attention no longer on him. His shoulders tensing up as they were practically side by side, yet once more he earlier assumption was proved correct and she didn't so much as spare a single glance towards him. 


“Hah… what a day, Nana better have scrubbed the toilet clean when I get back.” Not that it was dirty in the first place, such things would never happen under his notice — not that it mattered to the princess who pleaded him for another type of punishment at first.


Step


Step


Step


The streets got less crowded as he started to enter the more residential areas, the amount of cameras declining till he was certain there were none around. The only type of passerby being elderly people taking a walk and a couple walking their dog — none of which paid him any attention. 


Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~


That same creepy sensation returned tenfold and his footsteps were matched by another walking a few distance behind him. Keeping pace with him even as he increased his speed and took multiple turns and roundabouts, never once approaching him nor leaving him be. 


Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~


This continued for long enough that frustration started to build up. ‘I… I have to give it a try, walking around doesn't help.’


Stopping in his tracks, he turned around to find Kujo Rin a few meters away from him with an expressionless face. “May I help you, young lady?” 


His voice was completely feminine deep, different enough from his normal one that he didn't need to change it up and the mask muffled it enough to sound even more different. The fact that she hadn't said a thing the entire time nor called his name like she usually did made his mind desperately want to believe that she didn't catch onto anything. 


Best to act ignorant.


“You dropped this earlier,” she showed him a rather expensive looking leather wallet. 


“That's not mine, someone else must have dropped it. Sorry.” 


“I see… have we… met before?” 


Why ask such a question to a person who she couldn't even see the face of? Even if she found red strands of hair that wouldn't have her believe he was Emiya given now that Rin must have realized the person she was conversing with was of the opposite gender.


Best to stay vigilante, more so than before. 


“... I don't believe we have. You can head over to the police station and hand it over at the lost and found. There is probably an identity card somewhere in there.” 


“Okay.” 


“O… kay then, have a good day, miss.” 


Step


Step


Step


“...”


He expected her to turn the other way towards the police station, yet she was walking closer than ever. What the hell was going on inside this battle junkie’s head? Usually she was easy to read but acted very uncharacteristically at this moment. 


Part of Emiya's mind wondered whether or not she was just an alien in disguise posing as Rin. 


“You're not going?” He asked, hoping to persuade her to split ways. 


She shook her head, “I need to handle some affairs before going there, I hope you don't mind the company. Oh, my name is Kujo Rin, how may I address you?” 


Quite talkative, how very unusual. Regardless, giving his real name was an obvious mistake so he picked another one that sprung up in his mind randomly.


“Matou… Matou Sakura.” Tohsaka Rin's name came first actually, but he didn't choose that for obvious reasons and settled for the next best one. 


“Are you new to Sainan perhaps?” 


The Rin he knew wasn't so social, she barely spoke even around people she knew. 


“Ah, sorry if I'm asking too many questions about you. You… you just remind me of someone I know.”


He gave her a side glance, “Oh, is that so…”


“Yes, he goes to the same school as me and is dating someone very close to me.” 


“I...see,”


He didn't remember ever agreeing to be in a relationship with Saki nor asking the girl out once. Even if she were to confess then he'd decline her politely just like he tried to do with Haruna when they had that misunderstanding. 


“He is a bit known around in the school for different reasons, and an excellent sword user, a true prodigy. You see the sword behind me? I promised myself that at one point I'll be able to graze him with the smallest cut but haven't been able to accomplish as of yet.” 


He feigned light interest, “Good to know.” 


“But he never took me seriously, no matter how much I improve or train the gap between us just keeps getting wider and wider to the point I'm starting to doubt whether I am even worthy to hold a blade in the first place. That everything so far wasn't just a lie and I've been living in my own tint bubble believing I was at least better than most people my age in Japan.” 


She was wrong, for someone her age that kind of skill attained without any supernatural element or event involved was by no means a small feat. Being born in a peaceful era yet achieving this level of mastery was nothing less than impressive. 


“Perhaps you are overthinking it. Everyone starts off somewhere and with enough practice I'm sure you'll manage.” 


“Then what about him? Hah… though it's not like I'm completely saddened by the gap between us. The stronger he is, the more relieved I am at handing Saki-sama over to him. At least then I am certain that he will be able to protect her from any and all kinds of danger.”


“... Quite an impression you have on him to place so much trust.” 


“He does have his quirks, that guy is immensely lazy, deceitful, arrogant, ignorant, foolish, a liar, blind, undeserving, stubborn to a fault, frustrating, annoying, a pervert, an opportunist, cunning, a trickster, a hateful individual, a jerk…” the list just kept going on and on for a full minute that the smile hidden behind his mask started to strain and eyes threatening to roll at the fact that this girl was now just plainly insulting him as if he were her mortal enemy to a supposedly random stranger. 


“From the sounds of it, he should be someone you should be keeping away from your friend rather than hoping they'd end up together.” 


“But unfortunately, he is someone that I'd trust my life with since he already saved both Saki-sama and mine very recently. I wish to repay that debt in any way that I can, and I hope that he won't keep pushing me away from things he believes I can't handle. At least… at least even small things… for I didn't deserve what he risked back then and I even failed Saki-sama many times.” 


“...”


“He promised to tell me everything I wanted to know but hasn't approached me yet. Most likely believing that I will indeed serve as nothing more than a hindrance in the future… which I agree with.” 


A deep sigh escaped his lips and both stopped in their tracks. He removed his glasses, make and hat before looking at Rin with an fed up expression.


“Just tell me what you want.” 


Rin's eyes widened when she saw his face, leaning uncomfortably closer till only a few inches desperate them she observed closely. “You really do look like him, are you… 


“His relative.”


“He's an orphan who was adopted my the Yuuki family without any records of his biological parents.” Rin answered with a frown, looking at him closely once more before frowning deeply. “I didn't know you had such a strange fetish, Emiya. To dress up as a woman and one so convincing at that. There is no way you are anyone else other than him.”


“I’m not dressing up, this is… well as best as any time to fulfill my end of the promise and have you be up to date. But before that, how did you find out.” 


She didn't argue with him and accepted his words before shrugging her shoulders, “Intuition, I guess.” 


“You must be joking.” 


“I am, a bit.” Rin answered without missing a beat, her small red creeping on her face which didn't go unnoticed. “The second reason sounds embarrassing and misleading no matter how I say it but I will not lie to you if my goal is to pay back my debt. Take this as the first step to accomplish this task. Still, should you laugh then I shall brandish my sword against you without hesitation.” 


Was she actually one of those spiritually sensitive individuals sensitive at detecting certain types of individuals?


“—ell.” 


“Excuse me?” He asked her to repeat what she'd just said, thinking his ears heard wrong. 


“I only suspected you were Yuuki Emiya Shirou after our first conversation because of your smell.” She answered stoically, keeping a straight face but unable to stop the red blush from spreading the longer he stared dazed. 


“... Are you a dog?” 


She grabbed the wrapped sword behind her back and looked at him fiercely, “Do not question my sincerity. I equally feel ashamed, but there is no other explanation. I recognized it from the times we've crossed blades.” 


That only happened a handful of times at best…


.


.


.


(A few minutes later)


“Alright, I will prescribe to you this pill for your inflammation but don't take it more than four a day.”


“Thank you, Doctor!” Accepting the gratitude and payment of her tenth patient of the day, Mikado turned her attention to Shizu who now had a corporeal body wearing a nurse outfit. 


“You can call in the next patient.”


Ding~! 


The doorbell to the entrance of her house on the other side rang rather the one on the clinic's door, “Forget what I just said, can you please check who is at the door first dear?” a bit preoccupied with some paperwork, it was best to let her cute little assistant handle it first. 


“Okay!” 


There were multiple people Who knew where she lived in the type of work she conducted in the open. But amongst them not that many would come to visit her and rather ring the doorbell leading straight to her house rather than coming into the clinic's entrance. 


“Oh?” Out of nowhere, her body felt physically lighter than before. Before her she found pens and papers left lying on her table and started to float around. “Either Shizu saw a passing dog, a Kobold or…”


“HIYAAAA!!!! WHY ARE YOU HERE AGAIN!?” 


More things started to move including her windows getting shut tight with a shrill screech coming from the living room. 


“Ara, looks like those two finally met.”

Comments

Shadowlord1003

You know I was always of the opinion the Archer would likely not give much of a care about suddenly becoming female, beyond how well it works for combat and such anyway. The dude is so functionality oriented, and demonstrably doesn't care about what happens to him. Still hilarious though, the jokes of mom Archer continue. In terms of needing to adjust his combat style, that would likely take near zero amount of time, because he does it every time he pulls from UBW, unless people think that Archer and Shirou have the same height and weight, and that even more exacerbated if he uses something like Rider's chains of Caliburn for instance, so that adjustment is either done after a short period of time, or practically nonexistent.

The_Flying_Wrench

I imagine if he gets into a fight as he is now he’ll have a new appreciation for how Rider fights lol.

F.Ebering

Imagine Nim treats us to fem archer now using the medusa nails....what a sight it would be