Chapters 234 + 235 + Matt's 2023 con schedule (Patreon)

(Just did a minor edit. I posted the wrong version. It's the same as before, but I'd broken it up into two chapters.)

Chapter 234

I took a deep breath. I did my best not to show my utter dismay on my face.

“So, why can’t you do it?” I asked.

“Oh, believe me,” Odette said, waving her hand dismissively. “I was going to ask to do it, but I received an opportunity I can’t pass up. ” She straightened. “That’s right folks. The rumors are true. My show will soon be put on hiatus as I step into the dungeon. I have sponsored a deity, and I will be attempting my hand at the Celestial Ascendency.”

There was a pause, and then the crowd went absolutely nuts.

I felt sick to my stomach. She knew. Of course she knew. She knew all along that Huanxin was planning something, and Odette wasn’t going to allow the rich CEO to have the upper hand. She was still going into the dungeon, but it would be on an equal footing.

This whole setup with getting us to pick an adjutant wasn’t about us at all. It was really a way for Odette to announce her intentions to the audience. This whole interview was a thinly-veiled press conference.

Donut started jumping up and down on the couch. “Oh my god, Odette! This is wonderful news! Can I worship you? Carl, wouldn’t that be great? I could worship Odette!”

Odette laughed. “You don’t even know which goddess I picked yet.”

“Well, I’m quite certain it’s someone great. Who is it?”

“I’m glad you asked,” Odette said.

“For fuck’s sake,” I grumbled under my breath.

The three alien portraits faded as a new screen appeared, depicting a scene from the crawl. It was a group of four crawlers I didn’t recognize. It was three humans and a type of rock monster called a coal engine, similar to Chris’s igneous race. They rushed through the streets of some desert town, pushing through the memory images of people on the street. Clothes went flying. The rock monster guy clutched onto a giant, speckled egg, holding it against his chest like a football. They were pursued by a monstrous leopard with the neck and head of a snake. The snake leopard thing was the size of a school bus, and the head snapped down, barely missing a human. One turned and fired a lightning bolt, and the monster fell back, spinning and hissing.

The four continued to flee, turning down a side street, losing the pursuer.

“It’s happening!” the coal engine guy cried out, and they all skidded to a stop in an alley as the man held out the egg. They all gathered around.

A moment passed, and the egg hatched. The top of the shell dropped away, revealing an ugly, baby bird thing. It screamed, spread its wings, and burst into the air. Smoke trailed as it rose higher and higher, gaining in size. Soon, it was gone from sight.

A Quest Complete! notification appeared, followed by a system message that Nekhebit had re-ascended. I couldn’t remember having heard that particular notification.

“That was anticlimactic,” one of the humans grumbled.

The scene changed, showing a massive vulture goddess, spinning in 3D on the screen.

Odette preened as sparkles flew around the spinning image. “That’s right, everyone. I will be performing as the famed, ancient goddess, Nekhebit!”

I sighed as the crowd continued to go berserk. Man, I really hoped this would be enough for Huanxin. Odette was still going into the dungeon. If this CEO woman was reasonable, she’d see I had no control over this. I hoped and prayed she’d still honor the deal.

I examined the spinning image of the goddess.

I was reminded of another vulture goddess. Quetzalcoatlus from the fifth floor, though that one had been a ghost. Plus she’d been more dinosaur-like with a South-American vibe. This one was more of an Egyptian thing. She had a slender, human-like body with a long, red, flowing dress. Her head was that of an Egyptian vulture, yellow with white feathers spreading around her, almost like an afro. A bow made of oak was slung over her shoulder. She didn’t appear to have actual wings. Only human-like arms covered in bracelets.

As I looked more closely, I noticed the goddess was old and dirty, and covered in healed wounds. Her yellow beak was cracked and chipped. Heavy scarring covered all the exposed parts of her flesh. The jewelry was tarnished and cloudy, and it was missing some gems. Her red dress appeared threadbare and tattered, almost like she’d been a corpse that had been exhumed.

“Ooh, she looks positively fiendish,” Donut said. “Normally I’m not a fan of the whole hobo chic aesthetic, but I do like this. It suits you. Very sinister. Though I hope you don’t smell. You look like you might smell.”

“Thank you, Donut,” Odette said. “The origin story of Nekhebit is one of betrayal and revenge. She has earned every one of those scars. Whether she is considered a villain or a hero depends on one’s perspective.”

There was a strange flash to my HUD, like I’d just received a major notification, but it was suppressed because we were still on the show.

Odette continued. “Unlike all the other resurrected gods and goddesses on this floor, Nekhebit is not a retainer to any existing gods or goddesses. And yes, she will have a retainer of her own.” She waggled her finger at the audience. “You’ll have to see how all that plays out in the dungeon. We’ll have one more special about Nekhebit’s history that will air tomorrow evening as I onboard onto the playing field live. But that’s not why we’re here right now, is it? I apologize. We’ve gone a little off script.”

She waved her hand, and the floating heads of the three potential adjutants returned.

“Let’s pick you an adjutant. Again, I know we’ve put you on the spot. You don’t have to choose, but these three are the only ones still available as far as I am aware. So if you don’t pick, it’s likely you’ll still end up with one of these three anyway.”

I gave a sidelong glance to Quasar, who was nodding in agreement with Odette.

All three of the aliens looked as irritated as I felt for having to sit through Odette’s “spontaneous” reveal. I examined the three.

The first was a fuzzy, bear-like creature. His name was Ripper Wonton. He was a type of creature called a quokka, and he was the host of a show called Danger Zone with Ripper Wonton. It was a show Donut, Hekla, and I were on when Manassa had been assassinated by the Skull Empire.

The second was a very angry-looking female orc I didn’t recognize. She was the same sort of wild boar-looking orc as Prince Maestro and Crown Prince Stalwart. She reminded me of an orc hunter we’d killed on the previous floor.

The third was a bald Dream elf. This guy’s name was Drick, and I’d shared a panel with him when I was at CrawlCon. I remembered the original Drick had been a crawler, and I was pretty sure his birth race wasn’t an elf. It didn’t matter because this iteration was actually a worm head, meaning he had a Valtay worm in the brain.

“Hi Ripper!” Donut said, waving at the only one she recognized. She hadn’t gone to CrawlCon with me. She peered suspiciously at the orc woman. “Are you Princess Formidable? My friend Katia really likes the sponsor boxes you send. Why do you hate your brothers so much?”

The audience laughed, as did both Ripper Wonton and Drick. The orc woman did not look amused.

“That’s not Princess Formidable,” Odette said. “I don’t think they’d allow her to be an adjutant.”

“Like this one is much better,” Drick muttered.

“Who are you? I don’t like you,” Donut said to Drick. She waved her paw about. “Don’t they have tanning salons out in the universe?” She turned to Odette. “We pick Ripper Wonton. I like him, and he’s adorable.”

“Wait,” I said. I was eyeing Quasar who was shaking his head No vigorously. “Which of these guys has experience doing this? And who is the orc? Are any of these guys qualified for this?”

“That’s a good question, Carl. Luckily, the AI polices their behavior pretty heavily, so you don’t have to worry too much about biases, but here’s a short rundown of each candidate. First, we have Ripper Wonton. He’s an experienced interviewer and knows his way around the media. He’s a firm but fair judge. He’s done this quite a few times. Some people consider him a little too rigid. Plus his short legs make it so he has trouble keeping up in high-intensity battle situations.”

“Really, Odette?” Ripper asked, chuckling at the description. “You’re going to make fun of my legs?”

The crowd laughed.

“Next we have Baroness Victory, esquire, formerly of the Skull Empire. She is the half-sister of the late Queen Consort Ugloo, but she is easily the most experienced judge of the lot. Uh, she’s not too keen on fluff pieces, but people do like her matter-of-fact reporting on the anatomy of battles. She’s an attorney and judge.”

I looked over at Quasar, who gave me an enthusiastic thumbs up.

“And finally, we have Drick. I know you’ve met him briefly, Carl. He’s a recipient of a Valtay life extension. He recently passed the referee examine. He’s an experienced crawler and consultant, but this would be his first attempt at being an adjutant.”

Quasar gave him a tepid thumbs down. It was clear my lawyer preferred the orc.

Before I turned back, something strange happened. Without a word of explanation, Harbinger blinked and disappeared. Everyone else in the room looked at each other in surprise. Quasar shrugged.

“Do you have any questions?” Odette asked. “If you want, we can put it to an audience vote.”

I returned my attention to our three choices. I thought for a minute. I wasn’t about to let the audience pick for us.

“Drick is allowed to be an adjutant even though he’s Valtay?”

“It’s a little unusual,” Odette agreed. “But, they say he’s passed all the qualifications.”

I liked Drick, but I had an uneasy feeling about choosing him. He seemed like an unlikely candidate for this, and the fact he was Valtay did not sit well with me. My gut told me to avoid using him.

Donut was correct. Ripper was the obvious choice here. Still, Quasar was vehemently against him for some reason. I wondered why.

Also, I still wasn’t certain how crucial this choice was. I’d been so certain we’d have Odette, I hadn’t been worrying about it. I still had no idea what this guy would be doing all day.

I turned to Baroness Victory. The orc’s nostrils flared. She had what appeared to be an image of an hourglass carved onto one of her tusks. “Have I killed any of your family members?”

The audience tittered nervously.

She looked at me impassively. “Other than my brother-in-law and nephews, nobody feels you’re responsible for the death of my half-sister, Queen Ugloo. You did slay several distant relations during the Hunting Grounds fiasco.”

I felt my eyebrow raise. “And you feel you can be an impartial adjutant?”

“Don’t pick her, Carl,” Donut said.

She shrugged. “All of your actions so far have been well within your rights.”

“And that makes a difference? They’re family.”

“I recently sentenced my own aunt to indentureship because she didn’t pay her taxes. I am the best possible choice.” She gave a very slight, sly smile, the first emotion I saw on her face. “Plus, I’m the only one the others sued to keep out of the game.”

Again, I looked to Quasar. He was bouncing up and down, pointing at her, giving me a thumbs up.

“You’ll do,” I said to Baroness Victory. “Sorry, Drick and Ripper. I’ll catch you guys on the other side.

Chapter 235

“Okay, here we go,” Odette said. “As we speak, all the crawlers in the dungeon are being teleported to a choosing arena for phase two. We’ve gotten special permission to watch you enter the second area live. You’ll go straight from here to the choosing room.”

“Wait,” Donut said. “Does this mean we’re never going to be on your show again? If you’re in the dungeon, we won’t ever come back here. Is that right? Oh my god, that’s so sad! Odette! It’s the end of an era!”

Odette’s bug mask stared impassively down at Donut.

“I hadn’t really thought about it that way, but I suppose you’re right, Donut. Not unless we can work something out, and they let me do the show from down there, then this is it. Though I’m sure we’ll see each other in the dungeon.”

She said it so casually, so cheerfully that I just wanted to erupt. If we did see each other, it would be on the battlefield. Would Odette spare us if we were in her path? I doubted it. It made me feel ill. I kept my mouth shut.

Donut leaped to Odette’s desk and headbutted one of her massive boobs. “I suppose this is goodbye, then. If we don’t see you, take care of yourself, Odette.”

Odette just looked down at Donut. I could tell she was surprised. She slowly reached over and gave Donut a small pat.

“That...” Odette paused, as if Donut’s show of affection choked her up. She recovered quickly. “That’s our show folks. Stick around and watch the Royal Court choose their destination! And come back tomorrow night for a special episode!”

Transferring in twenty seconds.

Zev: Donut, Carl. Don’t freak out. Only Donut will transfer. Carl, you’ll remain on the couch. This is a small twist they just announced. Only the squad leader will enter the choice chamber. Then you’ll have your first fight. It’ll be just you, Donut. Don’t worry. It’ll be an easy opponent with junk cards. Try to draw the fight out as long as possible. As soon as it's done, Carl will transfer to you.

Oh, shit.

Donut jumped to my lap.

Donut: I DON’T WANT TO DO IT ALONE. NOT A REAL FIGHT.

“Carl,” Donut said, looking up at me. “I don’t want to be by myself.”

“Remember the plan,” I whispered, trying to sound confident. I stroked her side, and she was shaking. I didn’t want her to do this alone, either. “You’ll be okay. You’ve been practicing. You got this. It’s only one fight.”

Transferring now.

The room blinked, and the lights went up. Donut disappeared. Quasar was gone. It was just me, Odette, Zev, and Lexis.

The screen remained turned on, and it showed Donut appearing alone in the featureless room with the globe. There was no sound. She ran around in a circle a few times, completely panicked. Then she stopped and tried to calm herself. She pulled Mongo out and leaned up against him. She stopped and peered up at the ceiling. There was an announcement I couldn’t hear.

“Okay guys, we only have a minute,” Zev said, moving deeper into the room. “I don’t know where Harbinger went, but...”

Zev blinked and disappeared.

Odette sighed as she pulled off her bug helmet. She stepped back, peeling away her massive breastplate. She remained attached to the crab, which made her look terrifying.

“That was the best choice for adjutant,” Odette said as she came around the desk. “Ripper is a media whore with a stick up his hairy ass, and Drick is psychotic, out to make a name for himself. You were right to ask about the Valtay. It is strange they let him in. The Baroness is a humorless bitch, but she’s the only one who’ll put up with your usual bullshit. She’s a big fan of allowing legal loopholes get exploited. I wasn’t sure at first about that lawyer of yours, but I’m moderately impressed he advocated for her.”

“What the hell just happened?” I asked, still looking at the spot where Zev had stood. “What did you do to Zev?”

Odette waved dismissively. “They just called an all-hands at headquarters, so she got pulled away. An unmanned liaison spy ship was just shot out of orbit, so it’s an automatic security response. Right now, all crawlers except the squad leaders are in a temporary stasis while they do the changeover. This is completely off the record. We have maybe 15 minutes to talk.”

My head swam. “You shot down a spaceship?” I asked. “Just to talk to me?”

Odette grunted. “That thing had to go one way or another. And it was more like a probe. They thought they were being sneaky, but we’d pegged that thing the moment it appeared. We just timed it to our advantage. Now, listen.”

Up on the screen, Donut stood before the giant globe just like before, but only a handful of locations were highlighted. Two were in the United States. One was clearly the Bahamas. And there was another in the Mediterranean.

I watched as Donut pretended to hem and haw with her choices. She was laying it on a little thick. We already knew what one of the choices was going to be, thanks to the hidden message given to Donut on our earlier appearance on Rosetta’s show.

“No, you listen,” I said. “You fucked us when you chose not to be an adjutant.”

Odette grunted. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t allow you to set me up for an assassination?”

I didn’t even pretend to appear surprised. “What are we going to do now?”

“Don’t worry,” Odette said. “She’s going to want Katia with her down there more than ever.”

“And if she doesn’t?”

Odette shrugged. “Then you have to come up with an alternative. I suggest you make Katia eat that orchid sooner rather than later. Force Huanxin’s hand. This is part of what I want to talk with you about. Don’t trust anything that grixist bitch says. She’s out for revenge. That’s it. Nothing more. She is not going to help Katia out of any altruistic sense. She’s the most evil person I know, and that’s saying a lot. She’s also smart, so we must be... delicate in how we deal with her.”

Up on the screen, I watched as Donut reached up to pick Miami. A door appeared, leading off to another chamber. Donut was putting on a brave face, but I could tell how scared she was.

A wave of anger washed over me. People were always taking advantage of us. Telling us what to do. Bullying us for their own purpose.

Using us.

“We? In how we deal with her? You know what? Fuck you, Odette. We’re not playing your game anymore. There is no we. I appreciate everything you’ve done to help us so far, but goddamnit. All we are trying to do is survive, and every time we turn a corner, there’s someone new standing there waiting to use us. And yet, somehow, you’re always involved. You say she’s evil? What about you, Odette?”

Donut hesitantly moved to the next room, stepping through the door into the great room of a large, older house. She seemed outraged at something, but I couldn’t tell what. She started shouting and waving her paws up in the air like she did when she was mad.

And then, her first opponent materialized, causing her to stop mid-tirade.

A deranged-looking man appeared in the room, facing her. The hunched man was about 70. He wore what seemed to be a white, old-school sailor’s outfit that was much too small for him. There was a nametag that read “Gene” on his breast, but the note floating over him said his name was Robert the Human. He was level 40, and he twitched slightly as he stood down Donut. He clutched a group of cards to his chest. That’s all I could see.

They froze. This was the start of a boss battle. Or a level description, telling Donut how to fight using the cards. I suspected this was going to take a while. The description was likely more for the benefit of the home audience than Donut, who already knew how this worked.

Sure enough, the screen changed, showing a bunch of cards on the screen while the orange announcer guy appeared. He started going over all the card types. Mordecai had warned us this would happen. Donut was going to sit there frozen for several minutes while they went through all this.

“You think my motivations are money,” Odette said, whom I realized was staring at me with laser focus. “Or fame. They’re not. They never have been. It’s about Mordecai. It always has been.”

I blinked.

“Mordecai? Bullshit.”

She suddenly looked very old and tired.

“I’m going to tell you something, Carl. You’re not going to believe me, but I’m telling you anyway, and you are going to listen to me because I have waited a very long time to say this out loud to somebody.”

“Uh,” I said, taken aback at her vehemence. “Okay...”

“I had a cousin. His name was Pieter. I also had a friend named Armita. We were friends since birth, and Pieter was a few years younger. He’d always tag along wherever we went, even though we didn’t want him to. We’d been having a picnic that day it happened. Armita and I were both in our pre-courtship, so about the equivalent of 17 years old in your culture. Pieter was around 13. He’d followed us. I’d made sweet pastries, and he really liked them.” She rubbed her aged hands together. Her nails were so long, they curled like claws.

“I’d thrown a rock at him, telling him to go home. I’d hit him in the he­ad, and he’d cried. He didn’t have any friends.” Odette paused, taking a moment to compose herself. “And then it happened. The three of us, along with a few others, we entered the dungeon together.”

Odette’s crab body shifted. Lexis was suddenly sitting on the couch next me, silent. She had her ever-present tablet clutched in her hands.

Odette’s voice started to break as she talked. “Eventually, they forced me to choose. Pieter or Armita. I picked my friend. Simple as that. It was the right choice. Still, I think sometimes, I wonder... He was so sweet, and this place... It had broken him into so many pieces. And those pieces, Carl. They were wrong. My friends. My family. I had pushed them all. One more floor, I’d said. Surely we can push through just a little longer. They’d all died because of it. One by one. All except for me and Armita.”

She had tears streaming down her face.

She continued. “When I made my exit deal, I thought I could help others, and I chose to be a game guide. Armita had left a little before me, and she picked Celestial Attendant, which is the best, they say. The safest. I could’ve done the same thing, but I didn’t want to have anything to do with them. Those rich assholes running it all. I wanted to be of use to other crawlers. Back then, we could offer to be managers, and that’s what I did to Mordecai. I offered to help him escape this place. I promised him I’d do my best. He reminded me so much of Pieter, the way he looked up to his brother. Once, he’d transformed into a human, and he even looked like him. Like my little cousin.”

She took another moment. She now had my rapt attention. The screen continued to show its card lesson.

“I was near the end of my contract. All I could see was the light at the end of the tunnel. You know that spider you have in your card deck? Shi Maria? She exists in my own mythology. The Bedlam Bride. That extra eye of hers, the one she opens that blinds and paralyzes you? It’s a metaphor. We had a saying, my people. Never stare into the blinding eye of the Bedlam Bride. What it means is don’t become obsessed with something, lest you’re paralyzed and blind to everything else. When it shows itself, it’s all you can see. And that’s exactly what I’d done. Despite my promise to Mordecai, I was staring into the eye. I wanted nothing more than to finish my contract and finally, finally escape the dungeon. I had pushed Mordecai and his brother and friends, just like I had pushed my family. I pushed them further than they could go.”

She wiped her eyes.

“I made an illegal deal with Huanxin to rig the game in exchange for credits. It was facilitated by Armita. Huanxin would help me, and I’d give her money, part of my bonus for getting Mordecai to the 11th floor. But it went bad. She was driving a goddess named Dodola, and she’d asked for more money, and I was so tired of it. I felt just like you feel right now, Carl. I broke the deal at the last minute. I tricked her. We trapped the goddess in a containment and Chaco killed her, causing her to lose the Ascendency game before it even started. Mordecai made it to the next floor, but Uzzi, Mordecai’s brother, died.”

“Odette,” Lexis said, speaking for the first time. Her voice was soft. “We only have a few minutes.”

Odette ignored her. “Huanxin was enraged. I was soon to be released, out of reach. But Armita was stuck here for a few more seasons. A few weeks later when Mordecai finally made his deal at the end of the 11th, I was released. But, I wasn’t really free. I had my money. This was before they changed the rules. Now you guys are all citizens once released, but for me... I had to buy my way into the center system primary zone. But I felt so goddamned guilty about what had happened... I admitted what I’d done. There’s this form you can fill out, admitting to crimes. And I did it. I was sure Armita would’ve turned me in, but she hadn’t. She was stuck in the dungeon, in mortal danger while I was finally free, and still, in the end, she remained my friend while I betrayed her.” She paused. “I never got my legs fixed. It felt wrong.”

She shook her head sadly. “By the time anyone even looked at my confession, it was too late. The very first thing Huanxin did when she returned to the dungeon was kill Armita. It was like it was nothing. After all, it was the dungeon. Perfectly legal. But then some bureaucrat finally read my statement, and I was arrested. Huanxin was given nothing more than a token punishment. She was barred from participating for a while and permanently banned from Dodola. I was put on trial. I got lucky, however, and my warrant was purchased by the man who’d eventually become my husband.”

“Okay,” I finally said after a moment of silence. The screen was now just the announcer guy talking. “That’s... that’s really rough, Odette. But I still don’t see...”

“I watch him every day,” Odette said, interrupting. “It’s been so long. You need to understand, a few seasons into Mordecai’s indentureship, they changed the way the NPC pools worked, separating them out by organization, which greatly extended everyone’s contracts. Yet, I found myself watching him every chance I could, drinking himself into oblivion. Crying over his brother. His family. His friends. I’d think to myself, I did that. I killed Pieter. I killed Armita. And this one. This one I broke. I broke him into so many pieces that there’s no hope for him. That’s what I used to think, Carl. I used to hope he’d find a way to get himself killed before he was released because I just knew that would be the final cruelty, releasing him without purpose into the empty, cold universe. He has nobody.”

She looked up at me. “The eye of the Bedlam Bride. I’ve stared into it once again. I see nothing else. My purpose in this universe is singular. Everything I do, it’s to assuage myself of this guilt I feel for what I have done.”

I swallowed. I kept wavering between thinking she was absolutely full of shit and believing every word. I didn’t know what to say, so I just blurted out the first thing to come to me.

“Mordecai told me to just do whatever Huanxin says.”

“That’s because he’s afraid of her, Carl. And he should be. She’s older, smarter, and richer than she was way back then. This is the first year she’s back. I’m sure she has a plan to help you get those protections turned off. She wanted me in the dungeon as an adjutant so she could legally exact her revenge. But instead, Carl, we’re going to do something a little more extreme. It’s going to kill me, most likely. But that’s okay. It’ll kill her, too.”

Next to me, Lexis took in a sharp breath, like she hadn’t expected Odette to say that.

“How is any of this helping Mordecai?” I asked.

She shook her head. “You don’t get it, Carl. If this doesn’t work out, I’ve already done everything in my power to make his transition into freedom as smooth as possible. I’ve set aside a large trust for him. Chaco, too. Along with a few others I’ve managed along the way who are still in the system. But this goes beyond Mordecai. Everyone this cruelty touches, it shatters. We need to stop it.”

“You’re a part of it,” I snapped, anger bubbling over. “Goddamn it. You are the highest paid cheerleader for all of this. We die, and you applaud. We suffer, and you’re there with a microphone pointed in my face. And now you’re sponsoring a god? How can I trust you?”

Lexis tapped her tablet. “Almost out of time, Odette.”

The screen returned to Donut. The Robert the Human guy summoned two cards. One was a tall, faceless doll also wearing a sailor suit. The other was a little, stuffed dog with rolling, bug eyes. The doll was named Robert the Doll. The dog was named simply Dog.

“You don’t understand,” Odette said. “We have no choice. If it wasn’t me, it would be someone worse. I had to position myself in order to make it right. This whole machine exists for a reason beyond what you see. The mantises mine and resurrect the AIs and then graft them into the planetary engines for a reason. The elements they mine, what do you think they’re for?”

I was distracted by Donut’s fight. She summoned Geraldo, who appeared with a ridiculous, over-the-top explosion. The monk seal started flipping through the room at the doll. “I... What? What does that have to do with Huanxin? How did we get from her to this?”

Odette had a wild look in her eye. “All planets used for a crawl or any other game, such as Battle Royale or Land War are used to collect fuel. The elements. The byproduct of the AI that feeds upon the crawlers. The entertainment aspect of it all came along later, but it’s necessary in its own way. It’s expensive, what they do. But without it, it all gets shut off. All of it. We need to shut the crawl down, but we have to do it in a responsible way. Lest we kill half the known universe. If we do this right, future collections will be humane. It will be done in a way that removes all the suffering. What I did to Mordecai. To Armita. To Pieter. What is happening to you. It will never happen again. And it’s all coming together this season. This is our chance. Finally, after all these centuries. It’s our chance.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

On the screen, just as Geraldo started to attack the doll, Mongo flew through the air and chomped onto the throat of Robert the Human, killing him instantly. The fight abruptly ended. All the totems poofed away. Donut jumped across the room, and the first thing she did was collect the dead human’s sailor hat. Several cards appeared floating in the air, and she started to examine them. She could take and keep all of the non-totems, but if she wanted to keep the totems, she’d have to ditch one of our existing ones. That was unlikely given what I’d just seen.

“Sorry,” Lexis said. “Time’s up. Transferring now.”

Odette smiled sadly at me.

“See you on the inside, Carl.”

~~~~~

Hey everybody! Thus ends part I. Don’t worry. Part II will be much shorter. What the hell was Odette talking about? Have we heard the name Nekhebit before? Dun dun DUUNNNN.

Anyway, thanks again everybody. I appreciate you all.

I will be attending several writerly type events this year if you want to come say hello. These are all the events I’m confirmed for so far. I’ll likely be at DragonCon as well and 20Books Vegas. Also, I’m going to the ProgPower metal fest in Atlanta solo as an attendee after DragonCon if anyone wants to hang out. That Denver one is going to be the opposite of a sausage fest, whatever that's called. It's like 90% romance authors, which means the audience will be the same, so I fear I'll be sitting there twiddling my thumbs the whole time. If anyone plans on going to any of these, let me know.

UNION WA Cabin in the woods where I hope I’m not murdered Writing Retreat: Feb 10-12 https://www.pnwa.org/events/EventDetails.aspx?id=1691181

PORTLAND, OR Fan Expo: Feb 18-19

https://fanexpohq.com/fanexpoportland/

DENVER, CO Readers Take Denver  March 30 – April 2

https://www.readerstakedenver.com/

SEATTLE Norwescon April 6-9

https://www.norwescon.org/

ATLANTA, GA Jordan Con April 20-24

https://www.jordancon.org/

SEATTLE. Crypticon May 19-21

https://crypticonseattle.com/

PORTLAND, OR Authors and Dragons Con Aug 11-13

https://www.authorsanddragons.com/adcon

DAVENPORT, IA Planet Funk Con, August 25-27

https://planetfunkcon.com/