Chapter 199 (Patreon)

Part 1. Havana.

Chapter 199

Welcome, Crawler to the eighth floor. “The Ghosts of Earth.”

Time to Level Collapse: 21 Days.

Views: 13 septillion

Followers: 331 Quadrillion

Favorites: 21 Quadrillion

Remaining Crawlers: 38,532

Leaderboard rank: 3

Bounty: 2,000,000 gold

Congrats, Crawler. You have received a Platinum Venison Box.

It is December 10th.

Your squad has six open slots.

Entering El Capitolio Nacional de Cuba.

Donut and I stepped through the door of the globe chamber into the rotunda of a large, empty room made of marble and tile. I was instantly reminded of the US Capitol building, which I’d visited once long ago.

Blue and magenta floor tiles spread in both directions. Enormous arched windows dotted the walls at regular intervals. The curved, half-pipe ceiling was also tiled with bronze squares in relief. In the center was a round divet, leading to an enormous cupola. It was pitch black outside, and the room was lit by what looked like street lamps placed at intervals, giving the room a warm, yellow light.

This wasn’t the US Capitol building. It was similar in architecture, but not quite. This was El Capitol. The historic capitol building in downtown Havana.

Cuba.

We were the only ones here.

“Look,” Donut was saying as we explored the empty hall. Her voice echoed. “As the party leader and dungeon’s number one crawler, I just felt that throwing ourselves right into the Bahamas was a bad idea, so I picked someplace close. Do you really think it was a coincidence that they gave you a book about the Bahamas when that’s where Miss Beatrice was? It was quite obviously a trap...” She suddenly gasped. “Hey! I went down to number two! Carl, I lost my top spot!”

“I’m not surprised,” I said taking another step into the large room. I focused on the windows. My map showed nothing outside, almost like there was no outside. I focused on one of the brass lamps and the red and green ribbon hanging from it. It was a Christmas decoration. “Did you see that notification when we got here? It said ‘December 10th.’”

“Carl, I need to pick a new class! Hey, I have more time to pick now. I now have ten minutes to choose!”

“Good,” I said.

Carl: Mordecai, are you there? Donut needs help with her new class.

Mordecai: I’m here. It just blinked and now we’ve skipped a floor. Was that your doing, Carl?

Carl: No. Talk to Donut. She picked something on her own last floor.

Donut: VIPER QUEEN WAS A GREAT CLASS, AND I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW I KEPT MY ABILITY TO SPIT POISON EVEN THOUGH I NEVER USED IT. I DON’T KNOW WHY EVERYBODY ALWAYS GETS GRUMPY WHEN I MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS. CARL IS ALWAYS MAKING DECISIONS WITHOUT ASKING ME. I STILL HAVE ALL MY BARD ABILITIES, TOO, THOUGH I FORGOT A COUPLE SONGS.

Carl: It was Pony who made us skip the floor. We’re going to have to work extra hard to catch up.

Mordecai: I don’t know about that. Have you opened your boxes and achievements yet?

Carl: Not yet.

Mordecai: Donut, hit me with your choices.

Donut jumped to my shoulder as I explored. As they went back and forth, I continued to examine the room. There were multiple doors, but they were all locked. At the end of the hall was a door, and there was a level stairwell behind it. I walked to the door and tried to open it.

You need a key to open this door.

Damnit.

I moved to one of the tall windows and put my hand against it.

This area has not yet been unlocked.

I put my face against the glass to look outside, but I couldn’t see anything. It was just swirling, black smoke.

Imani: Everybody check in. Where are you? We picked western United States, and it looks like we’re in some indoor water park in the middle of nowhere. Some place called the Great Wolf Lodge. We can’t go outside yet. Elle and I have been placed in different squads, and they made us pick the starting location separately, but we both picked the same place.

Katia: We’re in the Philippines. We can’t go out, either. There’s a stairwell here, but we need a key.

Carl: Same. We’re in Cuba. Havana.

Elle: Cuba? Prepotente picked Cuba? Why would he do that?

Carl: He dumped us before this level started. I don’t know where he is. He never answers my chats, but I suspect he might be in the Bahamas.

Elle: So Donut picked Cuba? Or was that you? Are you looking for cigars or something?

Li Na: We are in the Galaxy Soho building in Beijing. There are hundreds of crawlers here with us.

Imani: Is Chris still in your party? He never went back to mine.

Li Na: He is with us.

Katia: Florin, where are you?

Imani: I thought he was in your party.

Katia: He left just before Carl broke the last level.

Elle: Yeah, that was really fucked up, Carl. You need to warn us next time. I don’t know if skipping levels is good for our health. Not all of us are as trained up as you.

Carl: I love how you guys just assume that was me. That was 100% Pony. I had no idea that was going to happen.

Florin: I am in Ecuador.

I continued to explore the floor, but there didn’t appear to be a way out.

Donut: I AM ABSOLUTELY NOT PICKING SOMETHING CALLED A PAIN URCHIN, MORDECAI. THAT SOUNDS DISGUSTING. IT CHANGES THE WAY I LOOK, AND I WILL NEVER PICK A CLASS THAT CHANGES THE WAY I LOOK. I HAVE AN IMPORTANT IMAGE TO MAINTAIN.

Mordecai: It’s a great class. It’s either that or Master Telephone Psychic. That one is pretty good, too, especially with your charisma, but you didn’t do so well with psionic attacks on the previous floor.

Donut: THAT SONG WAS VERY HARD TO SING.

Mordecai: Well, those are your two best choices by far. Urchin will help keep you safe and Psychic will make your mapping ability better and give you some offensive charm spells.

Donut: I’M PICKING PSYCHIC.

Donut glowed.

Donut: HEY! I GOT EVERYTHING LISTED AND A FEW ADDITIONAL SPELLS! THIS IS GREAT!

Mordecai: Your character actor skill is powerful now. What spells did you get?

Donut: SO, I STILL HAVE THE VENOM SPITTER SKILL FROM THE LAST FLOOR, BUT IT’S ONLY LEVEL 3. MY MAP CAN SEE A LOT BIGGER AND MORE STUFF. I CAN SEE THE WHOLE BUILDING. IT’S ALMOST LIKE WE ALREADY HAVE THE MAP FROM A NEIGHBORHOOD BOSS, BUT I DON’T SEE ANY MOBS AT ALL. IT’S EVEN BETTER THAN THAT PATHFINDER SKILL. I GOT A SPELL CALLED BRAIN FREEZE AND ONE CALLED BAD ATTITUDE AND ANOTHER CALLED WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF? THAT ONE IS GREAT! IT MAKES PEOPLE STAB THEMSELVES IN THE FACE! MY INTELLIGENCE WENT UP FIVE POINTS, TOO!

I relaxed. That was pretty good.

Mordecai: Bad Attitude is similar to Carl’s Fear spell, but it’ll be a lot more potent in your hands. If you work it together, it’ll be a great combo. Fear tends to affect dexterity while Bad Attitude drains intelligence and lowers resistances. Brain Freeze does the same thing, but it targets only one mob and drains health. It also makes them temporarily blind if you can get it up to 10.

Donut: IT STARTED AT LEVEL 8.

Mordecai: Good. You’ll want to train that one.

Carl: Can you see anything? We’re locked in a large room.

Mordecai: No. I tried to open the door, but it says exit isn’t yet available. Wait for the level announcement.

We didn’t have to wait long.

A new timer suddenly appeared in my vision.

Time to Assault. 14 Days.

It started to count down.

Cascadia started the announcement. I immediately noted she wasn’t nearly as chipper as she usually was. She pushed her way through the announcement with the enthusiasm of a kid being forced to mow their own lawn.

Hello, crawlers.

Welcome to the eighth floor. The Ghosts of Earth.

This is going to be a long message. This floor is simple, but the environment requires a small amount of explanation. Not that you twits are going to understand either way.

You have all picked one of 293 different regions. We have just over 38,000 crawlers joining us, and of the groups, you are occupying 205 of the regions. Unlike the bubbles of the fifth floor, you are not distributed evenly. But just because you don’t see anybody else, it doesn’t mean you’re alone. Each region contains two stairwells, and you have been generated near one of the two.

The theme of this floor is broken up into two parts. Phase two starts in 14 Earth days. You will not be able to obtain an exit key until then. Thank the gods. For the next two weeks, you will be stuck within your starting area.

All crawlers have been placed in squads of no more than five. If your party is six or more, the party members have been split into equal-number squads of less than five. These squads are not able to be broken. If you leave your party, you will not leave the squad. You have to work together to survive.

You’ll notice your squad has six more spots than the number of crawlers. So if you’re by yourself, it’ll have seven spots total, and if your squad consists of five crawlers, it’ll have eleven spots total. Your job for the next fourteen days is to fill your squad. You will be required to fill your squad before you will be allowed to proceed to phase two. If you do not fill your squad before the timer runs out, it will be filled randomly. Trust me. You don’t want that. We’ll get to that in a moment.

In fourteen days, you will be given at least two options on where to send your squad for the second phase. It will be a different geographic location than where you’ve started. You, along with your full squad, will be required to fight your way to an exit key. This will not be easy, so it is in your best interest to make certain your squad is as powerful as you can handle. More details on the assault phase of this floor will be forthcoming.

This is how phase one works.

All of you are inside a large structure within your starting area. As soon as this message ends, the doors will open, and you will be allowed to proceed outside.

Each region is limited, but you will have plenty of area to investigate. In most cases, you will be allowed to explore in a circle of about 99 kilometers from your starting location in any direction. If this causes an overlap with another region, this distance will be shortened. If you are on an island, you will not be able to travel more than six kilometers off shore.

You will not be able to enter any other regions during phase one.

Your starting area is an exact replica of Earth’s surface area as captured on the indicated date. This includes all the geographic features, buildings, vehicles, and yes, the people.

That’s correct. You will be fighting and exploring in a precise facsimile of Earth in the weeks before the collapse.

There are a few important caveats. You’re living inside of a memory. In most cases, you will not be able to interact with mobile biological entities within the replay. They will not appear on your map. Think of them like intangible ghosts. They can’t see you, and if you touch them, you will go right through them. They will be going about their lives just as they did on the day of the recording.

However, and this is very important so pay attention, all non-biological, non-attached items will be tangibly present and will maintain their mass and momentum until physically interacted with by a crawler or a mob or an unexpected environmental factor.

You can enter buildings. You can use non-automatic doors in most cases. You can break windows. You can get hit and killed by a vehicle. You can go to a grocery store and take all the onions. You can allow a ghost memory to walk through you, which will likely rip the clothes from their bodies. The visible portions of their bodies will continue on their way. The people and animals are ghosts. Everything else is not. Complex machines may or may not work depending on what they are. You can pick an onion or piece of tofu out of a ghost’s hand and throw it at a mob. The ghost will continue to eat, but the onion will now be on the ground. You can place a barrier in a street, and a car will crash into it, but the ghostly avatars of the drivers will continue on their way, floating toward their destination as if the accident never happened.

“Onions and tofu?” Donut asked. “Is that what she thinks we eat?”

I waved for her to be quiet. My mind was swirling with the possibilities.

In other words, you can destroy the environment as much as you like. You can move mountains if you have the power. The physical items will only move as they did on that date if they are in the exact place and condition they were at the time. The world is your literal playground.

Note. Anything you loot on this level that comes from the earth memory will turn to dust upon the collapse of this level. You will not be arming yourselves with the content of your local military base for use on the ninth floor.

I groaned. That was exactly what I’d been thinking.

That’s the environment. Now let us get to the squads.

Your area is seeded with mobs and bosses and legendary creatures that are exclusive to the folklore of the region in which you inhabit. For example, those of you in Romania will be dealing with vampires and werewolves. Those of you in Ireland will have leprechauns and banshees. Those of you in Japan are just plain fucked.

The further out from your starting area, the more difficult the monsters and bosses you will face. These monsters will also be interacting with the environment, so it’s likely their locations will be obvious, especially if the mobs are unintelligent as they will be attempting to attack the noncorporeal locals.

At the end of this message, your squad leader will receive a set of twenty flags containing your squad’s logo, which has been automatically created by the system.

If you plant the flag within the body of a living mob or boss while they are at less than 5% health, the mobs will be transformed into something called a T’Ghee totem, which will be added to the squad leader’s inventory.

My breath caught in my throat. I tried not to outwardly react. I knew exactly what that was thanks to the cookbook.

If it is a noncorporeal monster, the flags will still work. Flagged monsters will automatically join your squad and will be minions of whomever summons them. They will follow the summoner’s orders.

That is, they will follow orders to a certain extent, depending on the level difference and nature of the monster. While you need a squad that’s as powerful as possible, it might not be in your best interests to build a team that’s a little too strong. You may dismiss mob squad members if they don’t work out by ripping the T’Ghee totem in two.

If you run out of or lose your twenty flags before your squad is filled, they will not be replaced, so be careful with them. You may collect more totems than squad spaces. You may trade totems with fellow crawlers. You may steal totems from fellow crawlers. You will only be allowed to use your own flags.

Upon the start of phase two, all non-placed totems and flags will dissipate.

That’s it for now. More details on phase two will become available in a few days. In addition, fighting with T’Ghee totems comes with a few additional rules, which will be explained after the next recap episode. I’m supposed to explain that part now, but honestly, you monkeys think you’re so smart and clever, and I’m certain you can figure it out on your own.

Now get out there and kill, kill, you know.

I took a deep breath. I had so many questions about how this worked. Especially the environment.

Mordecai: Do either of you chuckleheads know anything about Cuban mythology? Or have someone on your chat who does?

Donut: I KNOW THEY HAVE FLAT SANDWICHES HERE. AND ISN’T THIS WHERE THAT GUY FROM I LOVE LUCY WAS FROM? OH, AND THAT TRE GUY FROM BOYZ N THE HOOD IS FROM HERE TOO, I THINK.

I was about to bitch, again, about Donut choosing Cuba, but there was nothing we could do about it now. The usefulness of the book of lore was painfully obvious. I understood her logic, but she’d been wrong.

It was almost like we were invisible time travelers, going back 25 days before the collapse. We’d be watching and existing amongst ghosts, most, if not all, of whom were now dead. I still wasn’t clear on how this was going to work, but I had a terribly ominous feeling about what was going to happen over the next few days.

If we were starting this on December 10th, and assuming they weren’t talking about Back to the Futuring us to 1950 or something, that meant we’d be moving away from this location on the 24th. Bea and her friends had flown to Nassau on the 26th, which meant there was no chance we’d have seen their ghosts if we’d chosen the Bahamas as our phase one location.

But now, because we were going to be moving to a second location for phase two, they’d have plenty of time to engineer a scene where Donut and I were forced to watch Bea get railed by some other dude. I had no doubts that they’d be angling to get us over there for phase two.

They couldn’t physically use Bea, but this was still a way to fuck with us. They were likely going to try this with multiple squads, sending us all to places where we could watch loved ones like we were in a fucked up version of a Christmas Carol.

That was something I’d have to worry about in a few weeks. For now, we needed to focus on squad building.

“Carl, did you understand anything that lady was talking about?”

“I think so,” I said. “Do you remember when I used to play that Pokémon game on the Nintendo? I think it might be a little like that.”

Carl: Mordecai, do you know what a T’Ghee totem is?

I wanted to hear what he had to say about this. I already knew quite a bit because of Allister, who’d written the 13th edition of the cookbook. For him, T’Ghee was a religion, and it had nothing to do with capturing and summoning monsters, but I could already see how this was going to work.

Mordecai: I do. They’re similar to Bautista’s stuffed animals, but they’re in the form of large playing cards. They’re kinda like your tarot cards, actually. They’re reusable, even if the summoned monsters die, but you probably can’t summon them all at once, and you’ll likely have to go through and summon all six before you can go back to the first monster. I’ve seen them used in a few different ways over the seasons, so we’ll have to wait until the next announcement.

“Carl, I just talked to Prepotente, and he is in the Bahamas!” Donut said. “He wants you to read the lore book to him!”

“I’m shocked,” I said drily.

“He says there’s probably some crossover with Cuba, so the book won’t be completely useless to us.”

The entire room blinked, and a new door appeared where there’d been none before. New light filtered through the windows. The first door was an entrance to our personal space.

“Tell him I’ll read him whatever he wants in exchange for half of those Size Up potions he has. He can sell them to us using the store interface, or he can join the guild and do it face to face.”

“Okay, I’ll tell him,” Donut said. “But he’s kinda grumpy, so I don’t know if he’s going to do it.”

“Well, then I’m not going to read the chapters to him. Come on, Donut,” I said, heading toward the door to the safe room. “We have a metric fuckton of loot boxes to open. Let’s get it over with.”

~



Howdy all. This book will NOT be called the Ghosts of Earth. I haven't decided yet what it will be named, nor am I even certain if book 6 will be just the 8th floor. Things are about to get a little batshit. Let's see where this goes, yes?