Chapter 173 (Patreon)

Chapter 173

Trophy Count: 52

Remaining Hunters: 673

“He ate the ring?” Mordecai asked after we returned to the closest saferoom. I’d run straight to the bomber’s studio, but I was now out. Donut sat at the open door, shouting out through it at Mongo and Kiwi. She’d been regaling Mordecai with the tale of everything that had happened. Prudence the ursine barkeep sat on the couch with both of her cubs on either side. Samantha was in her lap, getting her hair stroked by the bear. I didn’t ask. Bomo and the Sledge were also in the room, all with their attention on the screen, which was now showing some ridiculous 90’s horror movie I’d never seen starring a young Denise Richards and a giant, animatronic tyrannosaurus rex. “He swallowed it whole?”

“That’s what I’m saying.”

Mordecai muttered under his breath.

“Does eating a ring do anything?” Donut asked Mordecai. “Is it going to turn his tummy into lava or something? Mongo, don’t eat that!”

“Donut, I have no clue. You’re all crazy. I’ve seen a few classes and races that require one to consume metal or other objects, but I don’t think that’s what this is. I think it’s just going to eventually make its way out again.”

“Maybe he just eats things when he gets sad. Miss Beatrice used to do that sometimes, but then she’d make herself vomit afterward. It was quite disgusting. Carl, I saw the way you were looking at that ring. I do hope you’re not planning on trying to get it because I will not have you wearing something that was pooped out by a goat.”

Mordecai gave me a sharp look, but we were interrupted by the shout of the innkeeper through the open door. The adjoining pub was not a true saferoom, and Mongo and Kiwi and four clockwork dinosaurs—two Mongos and two Kiwis—bounced around while the dryad innkeeper watched sullenly. This was yet another Prepotente-owned town, and thankfully the guards hadn’t automatically attacked, despite there being a Diwata temple in the center of town.

The guards had given a wide berth to the progression of dinosaurs entering town. We’d only let Mongo and Kiwi enter the actual pub, which was named “The Belching Termite.” I wanted them to get used to each other, and I needed Kiwi to get used to the clockwork versions of herself. The others all parked themselves outside and were likely wreaking havoc. The innkeeper hadn’t said anything until now.

“Mongo! Bad! Kiwi! Don’t encourage him!” The sound of a table crashing over echoed while the innkeeper bellowed again.

System Message: An Odious Creeper has fallen. Crawler Prepotente has been given credit for the kill. 40 Creepers remain.

“That’s his third,” I said.

So far, of the ten creepers to have fallen, eight were to crawlers, one was to a hunter named Fickler, and one didn’t give a name, which suggested it was killed either by an NPC or it had accidentally offed itself. I didn’t know any of the listed killers except Prepotente.

They were all listed as city bosses, and their levels ranged from 130 to 160. Considering their supposed strength, I thought “city” was a bit of an insult.

“Knock, knock,” Katia said, rushing into the room from the guildhall entrance, Louis in tow. They both paused at the sight of the open door right next to their entrance, with Donut standing there, shouting.

“Whoa,” Louis said, looking through the door. “Katia, look. There’s a pink Mongo! Mongo has a girlfriend!”

“She is not his girlfriend,” Donut snapped. “Kiwi! Don’t eat that! Mongo! Stop. Hey, hey! You! You’re a clockwork robot, for goodness sake. What do you think you’re doing? It’s not like you can get pregnant. Stop it!”

“That door is just, like, open,” Louis said, taking another step toward it. “What would happen if I went through it?”

“Nothing good,” Mordecai said, “You can’t fast travel that way, so get away.”

Katia was in her large, she-hulk form. A large smear of blood ran down her chest.

“Level 54?” I asked, looking her up and down.

Katia had a determined look to her face, and I was, once again, struck with how much she’d changed. She was all business. “Gwen and the others have two of those things cornered. They’re both in the large bush elf village with Eva’s crew, and we can see that they’re fighting them, but we don’t know what else is going on. I’m afraid it’s too late to save most of the population. Did you know Li Jun had been turned into a vampire? He hadn’t told anybody except his sister and Zhang. I’m still pissed at him for not saying anything. He was cured when Miriam died. Did you really use that ring on her?”

“She’s a lot bigger than Mongo,” Louis was saying to Donut as he continued to peer through the door. The monkey in the innkeeper’s branches was now shrieking while a clockwork Kiwi yelled back, hissing. We were going to have to go back out there and intervene in a minute.

“You go, buddy! I like the bigger ladies, too,” Louis shouted at Mongo. Mongo looked at Louis through the door and squawked, waving his little wings joyfully.

Louis turned to Donut. “I had Juice Box do this Ursula thing once, you know, from Little Mermaid, and you wouldn’t believe how awesome it was.”

“So,” Katia said to Mordecai, ignoring all of this. “Did you make the stuff?”

Mordecai grunted and indicated a set of four moonshine jugs on the counter. Each were full of a bubbling, yellow liquid. Upon examination, it labeled them:

Uncle Morty’s Insta Lawn-Kill and Undead Repellant, Extra-Strength Edition.

Mordecai patted one of the bottles, which was almost as big as him. “Based on what Prepotente said and what he received, I took an existing weedkiller designed to take out an odious bloom and then added multiple anti-undead boosts to it, similar to the holy grenade I’d made earlier for Carl. Each jug has enough to kill two or three of the things. Maybe four if you’re conservative.” He pointed a claw at Louis. “Do not get close to those things. That spell of yours has a decent range. Only apply it at maximum distance. This stuff is very flammable despite my best efforts, and if you catch it on fire before it can get absorbed into the monster, it’s not going to work.” He shook his head. “I still think this is too dangerous. But nobody listens to Mordecai anymore, do they?”

“Apparently you’re ‘Uncle Mordecai’ now,” I said as I took two of the jugs.

It turned out Louis’s Extermination Professional class came with the perfect delivery system. He had an ability called Tent the House, which basically allowed him to take a potion and deliver it in a wide area. If he cast it from the deck of the Twister, he could cover an even wider area. He could only do it once every six hours, which meant he could only do it three times before it got dark, and only if he did the first one almost right away.

Mordecai turned to me. “Even with that strong arm of yours, you won’t be able to soak these things easily. I hope whatever you were tinkering with works. You weren’t in there very long.”

“It wasn’t hard to figure out,” I lied. “The hobgoblin smoke curtains are basically the same thing as what we need. I just need to replace that brown liquid stuff that makes the smoke with this weedkiller and change out the charge to the magical one from the store. That way, it won’t catch on fire. The problem is, we need to combine several together just to get a decent spray, so each device is going to be big. I just tested it with straight water in the bomber’s studio, and it worked. Sort of. We’ll have to use four to get accurate coverage.”

Mordecai looked at me suspiciously. “Does it still label it as an explosive if you remove the charge?”

“No. Unfortunately,” I said. “So I won’t be able to throw it as far as normal, not that I could anyway. Like I said, each one takes four modified smoke curtains, and I need to deploy three of the devices at the same time. So 12 smoke curtains just for one attack, which is a little expensive. And they have to go off over the thing’s head. Each package of three bombs is the size of a trash can.”

“And you figured this out on the first try? You were only in there for five minutes.”

“Hey, it took three tries. And yes, I am just that good,” I said with false bravado. I knew this was a stupid risk, using a cookbook recipe, but we didn’t have time. As it was, there was no way I could justify building the larger-scale aerosol bomb from the cookbook, which was actually much smaller physically but with a bigger yield. I figured three “smaller” ones would work just as well. The problem was, these needed to be delivered at a distance, exploded in the air, and they were damn huge. Because the system didn’t label it as an “explosive,” my ability to throw the thing was not magically enhanced, which was going to be a problem.

Mordecai warned us that we needed to be far, far away when we attacked. At least a half kilometer, and preferably more. He said the beast would have the ability to control all the foliage in a wide area to attack. My chat was already filled with panicked warnings about this. We’d lost a group of three crawlers already who were squeezed to death by vines. They brought the body pieces to the slow-moving monster who made itself bigger.

“You’re not going to use the levitation potion, are you?” Mordecai asked. “They can shoot poison darts. You might not get poisoned, but you won’t be as safe as Louis will be in the Twister. Just a little bump, and you get knocked out of the sky.”

“No,” I said.

“He is going to use me,” Samantha said.

I jolted. Just a minute ago, she’d still be on Prudence’s lap. On the screen, the t-rex attacked a party, complete with cheesy, gorey special effects.

“Not this time,” I said to the sex doll. I patted her hair, and she snapped at my finger. “But we might come back and use you if we have to. The delivery system is too big to tape to your head.”

System Message: An Odious Creeper has fallen. Crawler Eva has been given credit for the kill. 39 Creepers remain.

“Damnit,” Katia said. “Come on, Louis.”

“Bye Carl and Donut,” Louis said as he scooped up the remaining two jugs. “Bye Mongo and Mongo’s girlfriend! Bye Samantha! Bye rock dudes and bear dudes and Mordecai!”

Samantha sighed as Louis left. “Juice Box is so lucky.”

“Kiwi, no!” Donut shouted, rushing out into the pub.

“That’s my cue,” I said, heading toward the door.

System Message: An Odious Creeper has fallen. 38 Creepers remain.

~

As it turned out, my delivery system was unnecessarily over-engineered. The venomous elven rock chucker trebuchet device, which we’d taken from the Dream hunters, came with a Poison Cloud enhancement. I’d assumed that it was a separate and self-contained spell, but it turned out you could change the delivery poison if you poured a potion directly into a little cup on the side of the sling. There still had to be a projectile, and I had plenty of 2-300 pound rocks.

That was interesting. It meant we’d had a method of killing these things all along. We just hadn’t realized what we had. I pondered on that, if this world quest was designed this way on purpose, a way to give me a method to power level. We still needed Mordecai’s potion, and these things were all spread to the wind, but still, it made one wonder.

Aiming was a problem since my Ping spell didn’t work on these guys, but thankfully they moved very slow. This would never be a viable method and a real mobile target.

We set up in a clearing about a mile short of the closest creeper. It continued to rain, and everything was mud. I couldn’t actually see the monster, but its location was clear on the map. Donut scrambled up a tree at the edge of the treeline and emerged out the top. She went up so high, I couldn’t even see her.

Mongo and Kiwi followed Donut up the tree. The other 30-something dinosaurs shadowed us at a distance, mostly patrolling the woods all around us, killing everything in the area. It was good to basically have a circle of bodyguards, but our slow-but steady experience grind had completely stalled. I figured we’d deal with it once we took care of all these undead things.

Donut: I CAN’T SEE IT, BUT I CAN TELL WHERE IT IS. THE TREES ARE ALL MOVING AROUND IT. I THINK IT’S BIG.

Carl: Okay. I have no idea how to aim this thing, so I’m just going to fire a rock. You tell me if it’s close, and we can aim from there. Head’s up.

I’d already spiked the trebuchet into the muddy grass. I ratcheted it back, counting each of the clicks, and I attached the sling. I didn’t bother wasting any of the potion. Once it was set, I pulled the lever. The eight-foot-tall device made a whooshing noise as the two plates came together, slinging the large rock away.

Donut: YOU MISSED, CARL. IT WASN’T EVEN CLOSE.

Carl: I figured, Donut. You need to tell me how much I missed by.

Donut: YOU MISSED BY A LOT.

Carl: Goddamnit, Donut. I need details.

We went back and forth like this for a while. Eventually, we came up with an aiming system, and by the sixth attempt, we managed to smash a rock directly into the trees right above the unseen, slow-moving monster.

New Achievement! B’sieging!

You’ve used siege equipment to zero in and attack a boss monster from afar. That’s cheating! It’s like trying to kill someone with a bomb. What a bitch move!

Reward: You’ve received a Silver Siege Master Box!

Donut: I RECEIVED A VERY RUDE ACHIEVEMENT. MONGO AND KIWI ARE APPALLED.

Carl: I got it, too. Okay. Next attack will contain the poison. If this works, then I can keep my garbage can poison bombs for something else.

As I set up, a message came.

System Message: An Odious Creeper has fallen. Crawler Prepotente has been given credit for the kill. 31 Creepers remain.

That was six for him. He was making his way west, but after that one, there weren’t any others near him. I looked over the map.

Donut: HE’S GOING TO BE REALLY STRONG. I HOPE HE DOESN’T TRY TO KILL ANY OF OUR CREEPERS.

Carl: He’s either going to backtrack toward us or move deeper into the woods. If we manage to kill this one, he’ll probably move north over the river.

Now that Prepotente had a flying mount—one that seemed to fly very fast—he could move freely across the map. But this was a big world, and the remaining monsters were at all the corners of the map... all except the southeast, which housed the castle of the high elves.

I looked worriedly at the two creepers that were at the very northern tip of the map, in the “noob” plains north of Zockau, the area designed for the hunters to gain experience. No crawlers were going to get anywhere near those guys, and other than that first one, it didn’t appear as if any of the hunters had bothered killing the ones in their area. The quest was pretty clear that all of the creepers had to be killed.

Eva’s team had been mostly wiped out by the creepers, but Eva, of course, had once again escaped. Katia and the others were about to move in on the remaining creeper using the Twister. They were waiting for my confirmation that Mordecai’s weedkiller actually worked.

Carl: Okay. I’m adding the poison to the trebuchet. Let’s see if this works. Firing now.

I hit the lever, and the rock went flying.

Donut: YOU HIT IT PERFECTLY. THE GREEN STUFF IS GETTING ALL MESSED UP BY THE RAIN.

Carl: Mordecai said it would actually help. He said it would be quick.

Sure enough, the notification came just a few seconds later.

System Message: An Odious Creeper has fallen. Crawler Princess Donut has been given credit for the kill. 30 Creepers remain.

“What the hell,” I muttered.

Donut clambered down the tree and landed on my shoulder, all poofed out and proud, despite being soaked by the rain. Mongo and Kiwi scrambled down a moment later, expertly jumping from branch to branch like they were born in the trees.

Katia: Good job, Donut!

Donut: I MUST SAY, IT WAS A LOT EASIER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FOR SOMETHING SUCH A HIGH LEVEL. I WENT UP TWO LEVELS TO 47.

I was about to bitch about her getting credit and not me, but I thought better of it. She needed the levels anyway.

Mordecai: Good. Good. I forgot to mention that the spotter usually gets the lion’s share of credit when it comes to siege equipment.

Forgot my ass. “At least I got a boss box,” I muttered. “Did you get plus five to a stat?”

“I did!” Donut said, beaming. “It was to my strength! It’s now base 58!”

“That’s good,” I said. I was hoping it’d be to her constitution, but strength was always good. Anything was good as long as it wasn’t her damn Charisma, which was already at 130.

System Message: An Odious Creeper has fallen. Crawler Louis Santiago 2 has been given credit for the kill. 29 Creepers remain.

Carl: Good job, guys!

Firas: That was scary as shit. It poked a bunch of holes into the garden. It can shoot those thorns far. And they’re like ballista bolts, not thorns.

Elle: That was pretty intense. That thing was huge. Level 173. Most fun I’ve had since we got to this ridiculous floor.

Donut: NOT FAIR. THE ONE I KILLED WAS ONLY LEVEL 138.

Carl: You guys should go for that one 15 miles west of you when Louis’s spell resets. Right against the edge of the map. I don’t know if anyone else is out there.

Louis: I don’t know if I can stomach that again.

Katia: We’re already on it. I’m worried about those two north of Zockau.

Carl: I was just thinking the same thing. Hopefully one of the hunters will have the balls to do it.

Donut: IT WON’T BE VRAH, I BET. HER LADY BALLS ARE STILL ON FIRE.

Katia: Maybe. They might be thinking it’s best to just let whatever it’s going to be happen and wait it out in a saferoom.

Shit, I thought. She was probably right. But what could we do? None of us could get there before nightfall.

“Hey,” I said to Donut. “You should try to talk Prepotente into going after those two creepers up north. You’re the only one he’ll listen to.”

“He doesn’t answer me anymore,” Donut said. “But I’ll try.”

~

The next odious creeper was approximately twenty miles southeast of us, and we had to travel over a bumpy, dirty road to get close. It took several hours to get there.

Even though Kiwi, sort of, did what Donut commanded, the pink dinosaur was constantly trying to pull us in a different direction. We were moving southeast, and Kiwi wanted us to go directly east. She kept screeching and attempting to veer us off course. A sharp command from Donut, and she’d get back on track for about a half hour before she did it again.

She’s trying to lead us to Big Tina.

After we were about halfway to the next dot, she raised her head in the air and howled. All around us, the surrounding velociraptors just disappeared, veering off and away. Just like that. In seconds, it was just the four of us. She’d just sent her troops to look after the big dinosaur.

That ended up being a good thing because it gave us the opportunity to grind on the forest monsters, and it gave Donut some much-needed practice with commanding both Mongo and Kiwi in battle.

I knew we’d lose the female dinosaur once we went down a floor, which was too bad. As great as Mongo was, he was nothing compared to the larger, faster raptor. She was terrifyingly fast. Boa constrictor things started dropping out of the trees at us, and she’d be on them in seconds, faster than any of us, chomping them in half.

Still, it was good experience for her, and it was good for Mongo, too.

Fifteen more creepers fell as we traveled, leaving 14 on the map with only a few hours of sunlight left. Louis had killed two more for a total of three, and Prepotente had managed to get two more as well, making his total eight. He’d actually moved north, which gave me hope he’d attempt the ones in the hunter region, but we hadn’t heard from him in a while.

There was no sign of Eva, and it seemed she was once again traveling solo. Li Jun, Li Na, and Chris, along with several others who were not on the Twister, had moved into the town after Louis had bombed the second creeper to death to find several of Eva’s team—a mix of former daughters and members of Team Cichociemni—had abandoned the woman when she’d insisted on attacking the second creeper head on. They’d incurred heavy losses after the first battle.

“We’re getting close,” Donut said. “Should we set up the chucker thing here?”

I was about to respond when the dot on the map suddenly disappeared.

System Message: An Odious Creeper has fallen. 13 Creepers remain.

“Hey!” Donut cried. “Something stole our kill!”

“Damn,” I said. “Come on, let’s go see what it is. Be careful.”

Both Kiwi and Mongo screeched and started to growl at the same time. The rain around us suddenly stopped, and sun shone down through the tops of the trees. It happened so fast, I paused, looking up at the sky. What the hell?

“Wait, Carl,” Donut said, leaping onto my shoulder. We were both still soaked. “Something is happening. Our views are getting really high.”

“Shit,” I said, seeing that she was right. Of course, I thought. I was pretty sure I knew what was happening. We needed to get the hell out of here.

But it was too late. I saw the white dots on the map, emerging one after another. They were all around us. At least a hundred of them, and those were just the ones I could see. I contemplated risking a Ping just to get an accurate count. I decided against it. For now.

“I think some of them are riding things,” Donut said. “One is big!”

“Keep the dinosaurs calm,” I hissed before they appeared. “But if we have to fight, send Kiwi in first while we run.”

Two, bone-white stags entered the clearing, prancing with disciplined practice. Each animal was the size of a draft horse, and their antlers rose straight up into the air, sporting multiple points. Everything about the creatures was white, except their hooves and their noses. Even their eyes were nothing but pools of milky white. One snorted, and a cloud of steam came from its mouth, almost like it was a machine. Each was a level-50 Moon Sambhur.

Mounted on each stag was an elf. Both were male, svelte, with pale skin and long, white hair that looked like it just came from the salon. They wore shining, plate-style armor straight out of the Lord of the Rings.

But I only gave these guys a cursory glance. Just as the stags stopped, a third mount entered the clearing. This newcomer stole all of my attention.

The was an albino, bone-white rhinoceros, thick, armored skin matching the stags. The thing was damn huge. I’d never really been up close to a real rhinoceros before, so I wasn’t certain how big these things normally were, but I had the impression this thing was bigger than normal. Unlike the stages, this thing’s eyes glowed a deep red. It, also, clomped into the clearing with the clipped, practice stomp of a parade animal. The scent of perfume filled the clearing.

Simoom. Heavy Battle Rhino Mount. Level 75.

Upon the back of Simoom the rhinoceros was a curtained, ridiculously ornate, square-shaped litter. The box was only about a meter tall and wide. The white dot of the hidden rider appeared on the map just above the rhino. The white and gold embroidered curtains on the litter glowed slightly purple, which I recognized as a magical shield. The curtains weren’t fully opaque, and I could see a shape within moving about. I couldn’t tell what it was, but it was small, and it either had a mushroom-shaped head or it was wearing a big hat. I attempted to examine it, but I couldn’t get much information.

Howdah containing the Familiar of Queen Imogen of the High Elves.

This NPC is Intangible. You may not physically touch it.

This NPC is Invulnerable. You may not harm it.

The two male elves were the guards. Both were armed with long, silvery lances that glowed with enchantment. The lance on our left dripped with muddy gore. Both guards were absurdly good looking, like elves from the Dream, but with long, flowing hair and skin filtered through one of those apps that turned you into a soap opera star.

Each was a level 70 High Elf Guard. When I examined them, it didn’t give their names, which was unusual for a white-tagged NPC. Even the two stags had names—Herschel and Hjort.

This is a high elf. A DNA test would tell you that they’re identical to bush elves, but that’s only because DNA tests don’t detect when someone has a giant stick rammed up their ass. The big difference between the two groups is that high elves make a lot more money and pay a lot less in taxes. They probably spend all that extra cash on skin moisturizer and hair conditioner. Plus, they all live in a fancy castle that’s protected by a mysterious artifact.

They looked upon the four of us like we’d just climbed up from the sewers. Mongo growled uncertainly and pressed up against the side of Kiwi, who lowered her head and growled more deeply.

Carl: Keep them calm!

The procession came to a stop about twenty feet in front of us. All around us, the woods rustled. I caught sight of multiple elves, all on foot. Most were armed with bows. Others weren’t armed at all and had glowing hands.

“Hello, Carl,” a gruff, male voice said. It came from the shrouded litter atop the rhino.

“Princess Donut. Mmmm.” He made an odd grunt. It sounded creepy, lecherous, like when the AI talked about my feet, or like a drunk dude at a bar hitting on someone a third his age.

The voice was not what I expected. At all. It reminded me of Quasar my attorney. Like a guy from New York. Not anything one would associate with a high elf.

“Excuse you,” Donut started to say, but I held up a hand to stop her. Both Mongo and Kiwi had stopped growling and stood right next to me, sniffing at the air as if they, too, were surprised by the voice.

“Hey there,” I called up to the hidden speaker. “I didn’t realize you knew who we were.”

“The trees still speak to Queen Imogen, despite her mongrel sister’s insistence that they do not. I speak for her today, and you will address me properly.”

“I can’t even see you,” I said. “Aren’t you just the queen’s familiar? How does one address the queen’s pet? Should I rub your belly and scratch behind your ear?”

One of the stags breathed out a puff of white steam. None of the guards moved beyond that, but the simple motion sent a chill through me.

“At another time,” the voice said, “I would be obliged to demonstrate to you the meaning of respect, but my Queen wishes for you to attend the Masquerade in a few days. She is fascinated by you, Carl, for reasons I cannot fathom.” He paused. “She has already placed you upon her programme du bal. You will be required to dance with her. And while this occurs, I have taken the liberty of scheduling you, Princess Donut, to dance with me. Perhaps you will get a glimpse of how true royalty lives.” He made a low, deep growl.

I once again waved Donut down as he continued.

“But the issue at hand is these creatures which have invaded our lands. Due to your insufferable incompetence, we have been forced to venture forth from the castle to deal with it. If your intention was to fight the one we just killed, you’re obviously too late. You are fortunate that both of you are currently on the guest list for the masquerade. I am ordered to exterminate all other vermin. Now if you will excuse us, we have other, similar creatures to hunt down and deal with before the sun sets.”

“If you can, you should try to deal with the ones near Zockau.”

The creature grunted. They all started moving away, all at once if by some psychic command. All around us, the woods came alive as the elves slinked back into the trees. “We are only concerned with the Liana district, which is south of the infested river,” the creature called as they passed by. We remained frozen in place, not daring to move. “But that does remind me. Queen Imogen would like for me to pass on a message to your friend, Signet. I don’t suppose you’ll relay it for me?”

“What is it?” I called after the rhinoceros.

The curtain of the back of the litter shifted, and a lightning bolt shot forth, directly at Mongo.

“No!” Donut shouted, diving from my shoulder. I watched in horror as she literally caught the lightning bolt with her chest. She lit up like a beacon and ricocheted away, flying off into the woods, where she slammed into a tree, which exploded like a bomb. The tree crunched and tumbled away, taking out more trees with it.

At the same moment, Kiwi roared and sailed through the air at the back of the rhinoceros. She bounced off like it had a Protective Shield. She, too, flew back, howling and suddenly aflame.

Donut hadn’t completely blocked the lightning attack, and Mongo dropped where he stood, steam coming off his body.

“Donut!” I cried, rushing back toward the cat. Please, please, I thought.

Mordecai: What’s happening? What’s going on!

She was unconscious, but her Cockroach skilled had activated. It’d saved her life. I used a scroll on her, but she’d remain knocked out for a full minute. Holy shit, I thought, scooping her up. Holy shit, that was too close. I held her little body to my chest, and I just breathed, comforting myself with sound of her little heart.

I looked over my shoulder, and Mongo remained on the ground, whimpering. He wasn’t dead. Donut had saved his life with her quick reflexes. It’d happened so fast. Kiwi was also injured, groaning next to him. Both of them had health bars showing red.

The elves moved away. Inexplicably, their dots all remained white. I could hear their laughter echo through the forest. It was soon drowned out as the rain resumed with their passage.

They’d almost killed Mongo. That wasn’t just the whim of an NPC. This was planned, a story movement engineered by the showrunners. I thought of Prepotente, sobbing when Miriam had died. They were doing this to all of us. Ratcheting up the drama for the floor’s finale.

Donut shifted in my arms. She was about to wake up. Mongo and Kiwi remained in the grass, both whining with their injuries. I’d have to wait for Donut to awaken before we could heal them.

System Message: An Odious Creeper has fallen. Crawler Prepotente has been given credit for the kill. 12 Creepers remain.

Donut’s sunglasses had fallen off her face, but they remained intact on the ground. Her eyes flickered open. “Mongo?” she asked.

“He’s okay,” I said, rapidly stroking her. I fought the urge to chide her for jumping in front of the lightning. “You saved his life. You should cast your spell to heal him all the way. Kiwi, too.” She didn’t move from my arms, but she turned her head and cast Heal Critter spell, first on Mongo, then on Kiwi. Then she, surprisingly, closed her eyes and snuggled up against my chest. Her entire body trembled.

“Carl,” Donut said, her voice soft. “Did you see who it was, when the curtain opened?”

A deep, foreboding feeling washed over me.

“No. What was it?”

“It was Ferdinand. I saw him. It was him. They brought Ferdinand down here and changed his memory and turned him into a jerk. He tried to kill Mongo. They’re making it so I’m going to have to fight him.”

It roared. The river, it roared.

~~~~

Ah, Cuba. You chose Cuba. I was actually kinda hoping for either Haiti or Jamaica, but Cuba is good. I have a few books to read. We're all going to be getting a crash course in Santeria, amongst other things.

But we're not there yet. I'm thinking they're not going to beat that quest.  I'm also thinking this is the point where everything changes.

ANYWAY, to those of you who came and said hello in person this past weekend at Emerald City Comic Con, thank you so much. It was great meeting all of you.

The good news is with the last show of the season passing, and the shipping deadline for art stuff imminent, the writing schedule looks very clear. That's a good thing.