Grrl Power #1245 - Sappyrrhic defeat (Patreon)

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Is Garamm bad at his job? Probably. I mean, that was a fairly suspicious setup. But - college is a time for experimentation, and if college romp movies have taught us anything... well, it's that men are either Aryan looking lacrosse douchebros named something like Kiff Kiffington the Third, or are one of the many categories of Undesirables, but that all of them are some variety of sex criminal, and for some reason the Dean won't press  criminal charges when his car gets filled with popcorn. He just puts the offenders on triple secret probations or whatever. But also, that women are constantly having topless pillow fights and/or showering. Unless they wear glasses and keep their brown hair in a ponytail. 

Quick digression here, how is it that every major college seems to have a lacrosse team, but there's no National Lacrosse League? (Okay, I just googled it after I typed that in, and it turns out there is a NLL - but what I mean is how come it's not a major televised sport? Do they even carry it on The Ocho after dodgeball season is over?) It just seems weirdly popular until the instant you exit academia. If I have, in my entire life, met anyone who played college lacrosse, it has never once come up in a conversation, leading me to believe that lacrosse is one of those things writers think people do in college because they've consumed other media where people talk about being on the college lacrosse team, and now it's like a writers' in-joke. "Okay, we need just a bit of backstory for Chad Chaddington... Not much though, because GhostFace kills him before the end of the first act. Hmm. Lacrosse scholarship? Perfect!"

Back to the comic. Would I fall for the sapphic bait and switch? Actually, no, because the idea of watching sexy coeds have lingerie ticklefights sounds unbearably awkward. I mean, watching it I'd be okay with. Being in the room while it happened? A flop sweat would be the least of my problems. Is there such a thing as a flop poop? I'm not saying I would invent such a thing right then and there, but I have a feeling I would find myself preoccupied with the possibility in the moment. And then the girls would be all, "Hey, DaveB, we're doing some good work over here, but you're not paying attention. What are you thinking about?" and I would be like, "You absolutely don't want to know."

Also I'm ticklish enough that if someone squirted me with the mythic Giggle Juice, I'd probably unmoor most of my tendons while flopping around on the floor, so I wouldn't dare open that door.