September 2023 Reading List! (Patreon)

Before we begin let’s get meta - here’s an article about The Particular Pleasure of the Internet Rec by Anne Helen Peterson that I highlighted to death.

You don’t have enough time to read and find all the good stuff on the internet, because you have other things that demand your time, so you rely on others whose main job is to read and find the good stuff.

This post was just very validating that creating these reading lists is a valuable thing (which I should know because I get a lot of value out of the internet recs that others put together!)

Articles

#TradWife Life as Self-Annihilation - ooof what a title. I wanted to share some quotes from the article that really stood out to me about this annihilation of the self.

The absence of desire, the absence of needs, the absence of resistance as you hollow out the self and replace it with the desires and needs of others.

I know about their morning routine. I’m very intimate with their kitchens. I have a sense of what their husbands are like. I know a lot about their kids. In some cases, I know the basics of their testimony: the way they came to God and their husband. I know their prayers, at least their public ones. I know what their family likes to eat. What I don’t know is one single thing about them.

Ooooooof.

pain - the more I read Shon Faye’s writing in her newsletter the more desperate I am to read her book. She is such a good writer! This post was about rethinking addiction and was really interesting and moving.

To just drill down the point about how much I love Shon Faye’s writing, I never really notice good writing. I’m not the kind of person who highlights sentences because they like a metaphor or the phrasing or the syntax. But I did that TWICE in this post from Faye called beach:

• she’s talking about how she felt on holiday: a kind of happiness that can only come when you’re not expecting it
• she’s talking about being trans and how people react to her body: Danger is still the shadow that desire casts upon a wall.

Maternity leave: Why creators have to choose between their business and their baby - I was interviewed for this and I think it’s a really important thing to talk about. I knew having a baby would impact my career but I don’t think I quite understood what that meant.

If you’re having a good time, why stop? - Franki Cookney’s, the overthinkers guide to sex newsletter is back baby!! I am thrilled! Loved this post about the phenomenon of people breaking off relationships “early” before things get serious. Lots of good stuff about the relationship escalator and also this book The Tragedy of Heterosexuality which Franki mentioned when I interviewed her for the next season of Doing It and is one that I really want to read because FASCINATING.

Hi Barbie! Here’s my review! - the Barbie content doesn’t stop. Really loved Gina’s review of Barbie, critical yet joyful and yes I agree WE WANT MORE ALAN.

Videos

Being a Stay at Home Girlfriend In Your 20s in Risky - it’s a tiktok! After Ann Helen Peterson’s article about tradwives and stay at home girlfriends I got sucked into a weird voyeuristic rabbit hole on tiktok and came across this video. Originally I was thinking, wouldn’t it be fun if I did a video where I tried being a stay at home girlfriend for a week but logistically I’m just not sure that’s possible with not being childfree in my 20s anymore and also the reality of the finances of it explained in this video. I dunno.. would that be a fun/interesting video?

First Aid Kit - Helplessly Hoping with Isak Söderberg (live in Stockholm) - Isak is their little brother and this is just gorgeous. I’m obsessed with siblings making music.

Bread knives are always clean - hahahahaa so good. I am guilty of just wiping a bread knife on my clothes and back in the drawer in goes.

Trans Kids: Growing Up or Groomed? (When I was called a Predator…) - Ash Hardell’s vulnerable and creative and amazing part 2 to their series about why they left youtube and the transphobic harassment they received.

The Deepfake Debate - Dr Lindsey Doe just always creating such amazing thoughtful content and saying things I hadn’t considered before and really taking a thing and looking at it from all angles.

Barbie and Oppenheimer: Class or Trash? - I love the way Nathan talks about movies and so this was no exception. I realised that he was the first man who’s opinion I had sought out/listened to about Barbie and he said something about Ryan Gosling’s Ken character that was just so spot on but hadn’t crossed my mind!

I feel like there's been a lot of complaints about the movie being anti-male which if you have no media literacy I can see why you think that that… but Ryan Gosling's character is actually so pro male and has put an image of young guys that I have not seen on screen in so long and in such a positive way that it's like kind of beautiful to see. Ryan Gosling's Ken in this movie goes through what probably 80 percent of men have gone through in their lives: you're a little too infatuated with a woman, you get rejected and you go the complete opposite direction. “Screw girls man I don't need them I got my boys”, you know what I'm saying, deep down you're hurt, you're hurting. Some guys just go into that hyper masculinity, you got that red pill pipeline some guys just start religiously listening to Alpha Male podcasts that all have this exact same setup and Ken is doing the same thing basically and by the end he starts to realise like wait a minute bro this isn't me and he comes to accept that he's enough with himself he has to figure out who he is before he forces anything with Barbie bro he's not just some villain Ken has a more interesting and well thought out arc in this movie than 90 of female supporting characters in male-led movies

Podcasts

Okay this reading list is already getting pretty long but I have been on a podcast binge lately - specifically of two podcasts

Maintenance Phase - debunking health and wellness bs (would recommend Sleep Loss Epidemic and The French Paradox!)

If Books Could Kill - debunking various best selling pop science/self help books (would recommend Men Are From Mars and The Secret episodes!)

What can I say? I’m a Michael Hobbs fan girl.