bitter (life update!) (Patreon)

these nights are blurring together 

and everything tastes bitter

///

yooo anxiety/dep is such a butt:( it's been a pretty rough week spent with family, and i got roped into being part of a christmas family trip to korea (where my parents are from)  - essentially a non-negotiable trip in which i'll be in close, forced proximity in a new country and culture i feel disconnected from, with a family that has unresolved issues and a faulty/incomplete understanding of trauma at best! fun :') and oh yeah, they're pretty upset about my pushing to go on t in jan. possibly "dont come back home" upset, although despite it all, i rly feel that there is still love in this pain. things may change in a few years, who knows.

but anyways, amidst that and some attempts to reconnect with high school friends that went south (like everything else, it's complicated), ive been not feeling so hot and just felt the need to make a bit of vent art. im absolutely not coping solely with beer, but oh it is a cold and bitter comfort. 

being trans and anxious is kinda messing w my relationships:( but ive waited and compromised too much to live on the sidelines of my own life forever, n im gonna fight for this.

thanks for reading yall, it's been real<3