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Please Note: As announced on Twitter, Fireside Chats and Sacred Symbols are going up out of order this week, something we didn't anticipate having to do (hence the late notice). Chris recently traveled to Canada to visit some friends, and ran into some flight-related issues on his way back to Los Angeles. This thrust our usual recording and editing plans into disarray. As a result, we've had to delay recording of Episode 49 of Sacred Symbols from June 3rd to June 4th, and delay its publishing from June 4th to June 5th. Our schedule will return to normal next week (plus, you're gonna get a bonus...), and -- per usual -- any anticipated publishing alterations will continue to be announced ahead of time.

In the meantime, I apologize sincerely for the inconvenience, and will see you for Sacred Symbols on Wednesday, June 5th! <3 -Colin


People can find themselves addicted to almost anything, whether it's to alcohol or to benzos, to shopping or to gaming, to this or to that. But what happens when your chronic overindulgence happens to align with one of society's biggest taboos, something virtually every adult enjoys (whether regularly or occasionally), yet rarely speaks about earnestly? In short: What happens when you can stop watching pornography? Today's guest -- Matt Plaster -- speaks honestly about his addiction to porn, when and how it started, how it evolved and became worse over time, and how he ultimately got a hold of what ailed him. What do his family and friends think? How has it affect his education and his professional life? And how did his addiction alter previous relationships? We work through all of that (and more!) in what is undoubtedly one of the most flatout candid Fireside Chats yet recorded.

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Comments

josh

This couldn't have come out at a better time for me. I have the same issue and it's hard to talk about because nobody takes it seriously. Because it cant kill you like drugs or alchohol can, people kind of scoff at the idea of being addicted to porn.And people don't realize whay kind of road the addiction can take you down if you let it. Thank you for taking this on and making some of us feel like we aren't freaks for having this issue Colin.

LastStandMedia

It's my pleasure. I'm down to talk to pretty much anyone about pretty much anything. Be well! &lt;3

Tyler

Porn is vile. It’s destructive. It’s trash. It completely destroys ones perspective of one another. Women (and men) are treated nothing more than a piece of meat so that the other can have their carnal desires met. I think the mentality “everyone watches it so it’s okay” is extremely dangerous. I’m glad this gentlemen had the courage to talk about his addiction. I hope he stays strong and others find a way to break from the toxicity that is porn. Good episode, Colin.

CTE

Really good topic. We are being fed shortcut after shortcut for the connected lives we all crave. Want to feel intimacy with a woman (or man)? Watch some of the millions of hours of porn available. Want to create deep and abiding relationships with your fellow human beings? Spend endless hours on your smartphone and connect with people on social media. Want to just go straight to the wonderful feelings you get when having meaningful sex or a truly connected experience with someone you love? Take an opioid. In the midst of a mental health crisis, no doubt caused by the loneliness so many feel who have tried the shortcuts, the saddest part is it will probably only get worse as the counterfeits get better at approximating the primal need but not the enduring satisfaction you get from the real thing.

Britton Dowers

Great episode and conversation! As a parent to an almost 15 year old boy I related a bunch to the tail end of the conversation and differences in how the newer generation is viewing sex. My wife and I are very open about sex and masturbation. We feel it is nothing to be ashamed of, because it isn't. We openly talk about sex and how it is healthy and natural. You want to wait for someone who you are in love with, but it's not something to be avoided, along with masturbation. However, I feel like my son has reverted back to 19th century victorian age ideals on the subject. He is extremely prudish and has a view of girls on instagram that is troubling, thinking none of them should expose their bodies online. I've explained to him that if a woman wants to do that doing that is as much her choice as those who don't, but I'm not sure I'm getting through. It's a fine line to walk with the amount of stuff out there. I'm not sure if he does watch porn because of his views. We've got a content blocker on at our house since we have a 7 year old as well, but I don't have anything on his phone, so he could watch if he really wanted to. Which in moderation at his age i'm not going to think is a horrible thing, but I honestly don't think he does. It's weird because I think there might be a pendulum swing back from being so open and carefree about sex to more of a conservative view. My experience is anecdotal, but with the decrease in people having sex or waiting longer maybe it is a trend.

LastStandMedia

You're right, but it appears we're moving into a new era, where human intimacy might seem (and even be!) quaint.

LastStandMedia

That's super interesting. I don't know that I'd call myself "prude" at that age, but I was kinda afraid of girls, in the sense that I didn't think any of them liked me or cared about me. Maybe your son is playing out a similar lack of confidence, as it would play out in modernity (as opposed to me, who, in the late '90s, holed myself up in my room). Who knows?

Tanner Brant

Excellent episode, one of my favorite Fireside chats. Matt seems like a great guy, glad he was so open about this.

Jessica Gutiérrez

Arggggg!!! Grrrr!!! I was super excited to get your opinions on the release date of Death Stranding, and how purdy it looks. This is going to be a week long 24 hours. :(

Marcus Brown

Wow man, this was a great episode. Mabye top 5 mainly cause of the subject matter and how close to home it reaches. I appreciate Matt for telling his story. I have definitely had moments of questioning whether I'm an addict or not so hearing this answers those questions. Till next time my friend.

Jonah Gespacho

My biggest pet peeve with porn was when you click the preview images and it was about a casting couch. Misleading.

LastStandMedia

Sorry. =\ Nearly 2-hour Sacred Symbols incoming tomorrow, with plenty of Death Stranding talk.

LastStandMedia

I'm not one to pontificate about what is and isn't healthy, but yeah, that does sound excessive. You sound like a young man who simply doesn't believe in himself. If you never put yourself out there, George, the only thing I can promise you is that you will absolutely prove yourself right. I hope you find the help that you're looking for. Be well. =)

Monterey Jack

Good episode guys! However, since Chris is ultimately responsible for the sacred symbols delay, it is only fair that be gives away 5 ps5s when he inevitably loses that crash team racing platinum trophy bet.

Anonymous

Hell, Colin it's amazing how far you're pushing the definition of eclectic show. This was an amazing conversion, really loved it, thank you!

Anonymous

Absolutely amazing episode. There were So many things I could relate to. Now I'm just thinking if I am addicted to porn? Because I watch it every day but I don't feel addicted to it like. But when does it become too much?

LastStandMedia

I think that's up to the individual. I smoke weed everyday. Is that too much? Probably. Is it affecting my life? Maybe. Am I taking care of my business, treating people with respect, doing what's expected of me, etc.? Yes. I think it's the answer to that last question that's the major variable on if anything is too much. But, again, I'm no expert.

Anonymous

I absolutely agree. It is very individual. But I think we all have something we are addicted to. Like work. Food. Etc.

BettyAnn Moriarty

This episode was amazing- such candor on a usually super controversial topic. It took guts to do this - for each of you. But the conversation was so interesting and easy to listen to - because it was done with respect- as crazy as that sounds. Bravo.

Anonymous

Such a fantastic episode. I seriously commend the guest for being so vulnerable.

Korey Burns

Fantastic episode as usual! I recently picked up an audiobook called The Butterfly Effect by Jon Rosnon. It covers a lot of the societal effects of free porn. Definitely recommend as a supplemental read/listen to this topic.

Tim Taylor

George, I feel for you man. Please do understand though that women aren't as visually driven as men and looking at your profile picture you aren't as nearly as bad looking as you have it in your head. Good women are generally attracted to confidence and certain behavior in men. Plenty of ugly dudes are with women who are much more attractive. Physical attraction is just a small part of a relationship and isn't nearly to the level that porn and the world want you to think it is.

Ryan B.

Thanks for this one Colin and Matt, enjoyed it thoroughly. These are difficult waters to tread at this particular point in modernity, maybe we are too far removed from any given artifact (like relationship) to be able to experience life beyond the simulacrum. So much of our interfacing is in ones and zeroes. I'll also add, that from a faith perspective, particularly in my youth, not being able to talk candidly made the issues you guys brought up so much more difficult to tread. Thanks again guys for this, a much appreciated fireside chat.

Ross Arbour

Great episode.

Ross Arbour

I can vouch, this is a great series. It's also on iTunes podcasts.

Anonymous

I’ve worked in juvenile justice for almost ten years. It was a fascinating episode, but I think two concepts that could have been further explored are the abuse he touched on (which is obviously deeply personal and I understand why he did not delve deeper) and secondly, as you each mentioned, just how much the expectations of sexual encounters are framed by pornography in this digital, access to everything near we live in. There were some key hallmarks I heard from my experience that could lead down a more deviant path if left unchecked. Good on him for realizing a change needed made and making it. Also this is my first post since becoming a patron! Glad to no longer be a free loader.

Billy boob

Is Matt about? He says that he is going to New Zealand and Europe I’ve just been living and working in New Zealand for a year in a camper van. And now I’m back in Europe. May have some tips and could even catch up for a drink? Would be interesting hit me up if your about Matt?

Nitsua MorningStr

It's a good thing this isn't creepy at all asking a complete stranger to come meet up with you because you are in the same continent.

Anonymous

Hey William! Where about did you stay in New Zealand? I've actually just left and am currently in South East Asia, but I will be going back to explore the south island. If you've got any recommendations please let me know!

Andy

Wow just scrolling to see what I missed (I’m a new patreon sub after being a free loader lol). I wanted to add, guys…porn addiction has a crazy side affect that affects some guys in a bad bad bad way like myself. Porn gave me ED….no joke, it’s called PIED. Porn induced erectile dysfunction. Can get it up when I got a hand on it and looking at porn but with a woman in bed…nope, it’s a work up and it got 30% at most and after a few thrusts it went down. Quite porn for 3 months and stopped “beating it” and bam! I’m back to normal. Before I found out about PIED I thought I had full on ED and went to the doc and almost took the little blue pill. So this guy doesn’t watch porn anymore. Period. It’s helped me to get back to actually being able to have sex with my wife, and I know it sounds cliche but, it’s made my sex life with my wife amazing. Feels Amazing now because not only am I able to stay hard the entire time but my Body is on high alert as I don’t watch porn so it’s like back in the day when you’d browse porn and you’d see a picture that would make you have that feeling of euphoria.