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Fireside Chats, Episode 89: The Stay-at-Home Dad (Patreon)

Published:
2019-05-15 16:01:01
Imported:
2022-01

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Content

Stay-at-home moms are some of society's most unsung heroes. Raising kids is a tough job, after all, and motherhood comes at a cost. But what about society's fathers? Hell, what about society's fathers that bear the brunt of of parental responsibility while their wives go to work? It's not a terribly common situation even in modernity, but it does happen more often than you might think, and that's what today's episode is all about. Chad Lewis is a stay-at-home dad with a professional wife who brings home the bacon. So what's it like to reverse society's expectations? What kind of challenges does such a situation bring with it? And what kinds of rewards can the inverse of your the everyday nuclear family provide?

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Comments

Ian (616Entertainment)

I don’t know about everybody else, but I see shorter episode and I thought “man maybe this one wasn’t very good.” NOPE. I’m just an ass. This was super interesting. Thanks for telling us your story, dude. And hey man, your family sounds like the perfect balance. Your wife works hard and appreciates you staying with the little guy, you love staying with him and appreciate her hard work, what else can you ask for?

Anonymous

This is probably one of my favorite episodes of the show , great job !

Marcus Brown

This was a fun listen! Thanks for telling us your story Chad.

Russell Garrett

Trying to guess what Fireside Chats will be about the following week is legit becoming one of my favorite things about CLS. I've never once got it right. :( Great episode, as always.

BettyAnn Moriarty

What a wonderful episode! I love Chad’s story and hearing his love and appreciation for being the stay at home parent touches me and brings back memories of my stay at home years. Thanks for this. Nicely done! 😉❤️

Chad Lewis

Thank you so much for having me on the show. It was a dream come true. I hope everyone enjoys my little story.

Tyler

Colin, I can understand the scariness of becoming a parent. But as someone who has two kids, it is a lot more fun than sitting around for 12 hours or smoking bongs lol. Yes you need to be selfless but there is still time for the things you enjoy. If you marry the one who understands you then they will give you your needs to. You just may not be able to platinum those games as quickly as you do ;-)

Adam Niksch

This was really interesting! I have a ton of respect for Chad. I’ve never understood the hate towards stay at home dads. One parent staying home with the kids is what’s important, not which parent. I’m actually about 10 weeks (ish, depending on how quickly or late he wants to show up) from being a dad myself. I would love for one of us to be able to stay at home with our son, but we just can’t afford it. It’s really sad because I also had a stay at home mom until I was in the third grade. CA is just so expensive that I don’t know how you do it without both parents working. I know my wife would love to stay at home with him full time if we could afford it.

Trent Miller

Really cool to hear this. Definitely unconventional but awesome that you are doing what you love Chad. You sound like a great dad.

strawhatninja

I really enjoyed this also Colin you are not alone. In fact I think I'm even weirder then you. I feel like I'm too selfish to want to have kids or even have a romantic relationship anymore. I've been single for while now and I work a normal 40hr week and hangout with friends maybe 1 to 2 days a week. The rest of the time I just prefer being alone because my hobbies are mainly solo focused and I'm perfectly okay with that. It does feel like society tries to push social norms on me though and it can get old.

Jason Stafford

I never wanted any kids either. I just always knew myself well enough to know that wasn't what I wanted. However, I married a woman with a small child many years ago and adopted him as my own. Now I'm the grandfather to a pretty cool 3 year old. Life is funny that way. I never wanted kids, but it turned out just fine. My son (and now grandson) never interrupted my selfishness because I just corrupted him and indoctrinated him to my interests. :)

Owen

Thanks for doin this Chad. My first child is coming here in a few weeks. While we’re starting out with both of us working because it’s just better financially, if a parent stays at home in the long run it’s going to be me. My wife is a career driven woman and is the hardest working person I know. And I have always gravitated towards being a caregiver. I was so mad hearing that there’s a grandparent who would think less of you for wanting to be the stay at home parent. That’s bullshit dude. Keep up the good work. Good stuff as usual Col.

Mitch Krassin

This was an outstanding episode. Really dug it.

Daniel

One of my favourite episodes to date! Cheers Chad

Markeus

I just want to say I take my daughter to "'MYGYM" too and it is a good spot! I do want to say that the 0-2 years old was cake! Its 3 and up that are exhausting. I love every second.

LastStandMedia
>>22769252

LOL. It's a virtually impossible game. Especially because I have multiple in the hopper at any one point, so I'm not even really sure which one Dustin will deliver. LOL.

LastStandMedia
>>22791016

What's ironic about child care is that you have to pay so much just to have someone watch the kid. Kinda a shitty situation.

LastStandMedia
>>22805678

I'm starting to realize that the standard, societal definition of happiness simply isn't the definition of happiness to me. I, like you, would mostly rather be myself.

LastStandMedia
>>22808871

That's a neat story. I have no aversion to having kids, per se. I just don't really have the drive to do it. I can tell you right now, companies like KF and CLS wouldn't have and couldn't have existed if any of us had children. I'd rather be doing this than that, frankly.

Adam Niksch
>>22791016

You’re not wrong. There’s a game you have to play to see if the financial hit of losing one income is worse than paying for childcare. Childcare for newborns is close to $2200 per month in this state.

Jason Stafford
>>22808871

Headaches and all, I'd definitely rather be doing what you're doing also. ;)

Anonymous

My story is somewhat similar to Chad's. Grew up with two heroin addicted parents, so I never had positive role models or influences. Lost my dad at 18 as well. This led me to really have a singular goal in life, to be a good dad. We had my son in daycare until he was 18 months old, then he got his cancer diagnosis. I don't want to call THAT a blessing, but the one thing it DID do was allow my son to have a presence at home at all times instead of daycare. Looking at him compared to other kids his age, there is a clear positive social advantage in not having the child in daycare. Good episode!

Jeremiah Lyne

Great episode - I think Colin highlighted the real takeaway which is how unusual it is to have a stay at home parent now and the downsides of this. I grew up on a farm where my parents were always around - partly why I’m attracted to going back to the farm some day. Also, I think a man needs a lot of self esteem to be the stay at home parent.

LastStandMedia
>>22966362

I think the nuclear family a positive thing, and I think having a parent raise a child is a positive thing, too. Not the only options. But perhaps the best options.

Ross Arbour

It resonated when you said you felt sorry for only children. I'm one myself, and I find myself jealous of my friends with lifelong partners in crime in adulthood, and someone to either look up to (older) or nurture (younger) in childhood.

LastStandMedia
>>23040853

Yeah. I mean, your experience could have been great. Only children have great advantages in terms of attention and resources. But I feel bad for those that dunno what it's like to have a sibling. It's all about what you know and don't know, I suppose.

Anonymous
>>22933115

He's better- but the process is so mechanical. Nothing has changed since he started treatment back in March of 2017. I'll tell you all about it if we can ever line up a fireside chat.

Nicholas Cowley

Listened to this one a little late but it was good stuff! You guys nailed it on benefits of a nuclear family. My wife and I both work (she's a teacher, I'm a nurse), but we work opposite shifts (evening for me) so one of us can be with our son at all times. No doubt if we had an opportunity for one of us to be home, we'd jump on it. Regardless of who is home, the kid gets the benefits, so props to Chad and his wife.