Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 81 (Patreon)

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 81

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Commissioned by Arksoul

Wordcount: 2500

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In hindsight, putting myself in danger and telling my guards that they were free to kill if I was in danger was a bad idea.

“Well, she’s dead.” The Chimera had more or less been on the receiving end of a perfect ambush, and the ones ambushing her were well-equipped, well-trained, and honestly didn’t need the ambush in the first place to win. Ashe and the others present didn’t just have the advantage of hitting first, there were more of them, they weren’t injured, and they had a lot of anger. Needless to say, the results were overkill. “It’s going to be a pain finding where she kept all her loot.”

I’d watched the battle from above, while carried by a Harpy, and it had been obvious that things weren’t going the Chimera’s way from the moment Ashe made contact with her and set her on fire, while the Kunoichi tagged her with numerous projectiles.

The Chimera had practically turned from a ferocious, blood-covered beast into a blazing pincushion wrapped upon in a fiery, oiled clothe in less than a second.

When the Chimera managed to endure that, and get out of her confinement, she was poisoned, burnt, lacked one of her appendages because it was crushed, and was facing a Hellhound backed by several Kunoichi.

I’d thought that she’d try to run, to get some distance and try for some cover, but instead she’d roared, charged Ashe, and got herself annihilated by my very, very pissed off entourage.

In fact, they were still pissed off even after the battle ended and the Chimera lay dead.

I mean, normally, Ashe would apologize for inconveniencing me in the slightest, but she made no comment after my little statement.

The living weapon of mass destruction was usually the very definition of a cute, innocent furball who unfortunately got hit with a dose of hentai. Typically, if she did anything wrong, she’d trip over herself either trying to make things right, or apologizing with her ears firmly tucked back as a sign of genuine shame.

None of that was present at the moment.

Instead, Ashe kept fussing over me, looking for a single scratch, while several Kunoichi wiped way wherever the Chimera touched me with handkerchiefs.

Oh, yeah, there were three Kunoichi present with me, too. I’d thought there’d only been one with me, since they decided to be sneakier than usual in the trip.

They were usually calm and collected, but the Chimera rankled them too, and they attacked with practically everything they had along with Ashe.

I considered getting angry at them for concealing their numbers, but I let it slide this time.

Kurama was technically their main employer, and their main mission was to protect me, and not help me. Having three super-ninjas who can blend into shadows would definitely make me cockier and riskier, so they concealed themselves unless necessary.

In the future, I’ll be sure to ask Kurama to give me some official command over them. They were useful at dealing with bigger threats, so I was more than willing to spend some extra money.

What’s that?

Poison’s a coward’s weapon?

Don’t you know people can only be brave, if they’re afraid?

With that logic, the people who are truly brave are those who do everything to stay alive and fight while they’re afraid. Those who don’t are just gatekeeping morons who aren’t brave, but are actually just too stupid to understand the situation enough to be afraid. Thus, poison is a courageous individual’s weapon, because those who use it understand what they’re doing, the risks their taking, and the consequences of their failure.
Source: me.

Anyway, back to the situation at hand, with my very antsy guards and the charred corpse of a Chimera right in front of me.

I appreciated what they did in the end. They saw me getting sexually harassed and got properly pissed off. I didn’t know exactly how it happened, since Kindred typically didn’t care if a man was harassed or not, but I wasn’t about to question my windfall. Progress is progress, and I didn’t intend on losing any progress by asking any questions, especially when there was other work to do.

I might look into it later, so that I can work on having it happen again, but that’ll be in a controlled environment for sure.

With that in mind, I spoke.

“Oi, you over there.” I addressed the Harpy we brought along, who’d been glaring at the smoking carcass. “Head over to Ur’s team and inform them they’re good to go, and don’t have to worry about the Chimera. Oh, and ask Henri if she can get something out of this thing, or if we can just get rid of it.”

Necromancy turned corpses into Undead Kindred. The weaker Undead were nothing more than slightly gruesome-looking, mindless, and feral sluts that obeyed stronger Undead. The stronger ones had their memories, so we could use that if it was available. Granted an Undead Chimera was going to be a headache, but if she was revived in a proper holding area, it’d be relatively safe… though whether or not she’d still have to pay for her crimes after death was up for debate.

I mean… she died.

Bringing someone back from the dead to answer questions was one thing, but bringing them back to serve their sentence was pretty cold even for me.

As was, of course, reviving the Chimera just to kill her again after answering my question.

Yeah, I was kinda hoping that Henri was going to tell me that she couldn’t do anything with the body now, it was getting more morally questionable the more I thought about it.

The Harpy flew off and I felt a nudge against my side.

I found the local guide beside me holding my clothes, and I didn’t waste any time changing. With how light the clothing of males were in the area, I barely hid anything, so it was easy enough to put on more clothes. Hell, I was sure that being naked was less lewd than the leather vest and booty shorts, so I was tempted to actually strip completely.

Being sane of mind, though, I decided against taking any clothes off below the waist around Kindred.

Wearing leather shorts beneath pants was going to be a pain, but it was better than the alternative of getting jumped by my own soldiers.

“Alright, then, let’s make use of our time.” I looked to our local Guide. The experienced Kindred was thankfully married, so she met my gaze with a nod of respect. “Do you have any colleagues here that can help us find where this woman might’ve kept her loot?”

I expected my little question to fall flat, thus leaving us to trudge back to the village with the remains of the feast on our back.

Surprisingly, though the Kindred gave a decisive nod and gestured for us to start packing up and head back to the village.

It looked like we were actually going to get somewhere, instead of just sitting around with our thumbs up our asses.

…

Henri arrived carried by a Wyvern with a new Harpy.

The small group left behind at camp was meant to provide support, or return o Ylstu for reinforcement during an emergency, but priority orders from myself or Ur could get one or two of them moving. If there was a reasonable emergency, they were freely allowed to move out, and they were even allowed to leave us behind to escape and get help if things threatened them while the rest of expedition was away.

The Wyvern took flight to return to base after a quick salute, and the Harpy remained on standby for orders. Henri made her way to the corpse of the Chimera, while we continued to pore over the surprisingly accurate maps the locals made of the Chimera’s movements.

Even though they had a ludicrous amount of labor on their shoulders, just so they could survive and meet their tax quotas, they still went out of their way to gather information.

I was honestly impressed, especially when they made my job easier.

Henri drew a few looks from the locals for not coming to me immediately, or maybe it was due to her state of dress of a coat, hat, jewelry, and lewd tattoos, but I focused on my work while she did her own thing.

I preferred my subordinates doing their job properly over giving me lip service any day of the week.

So, I kept comparing maps and routes, slowly but surely locating potential sites where the Chimera dropped off her treasures, until Henri came forward.

“The Hellfire has extensively damaged the Chimera too much. Reviving her will most likely result in a Ghoul. Not even a Zombie. It might even turn into a Skeleton.” Henri reported and sat her bare butt on the table. She could’ve sat on her coat, but decided against doing so for the sake of showcasing a lot of thigh and butt. Yes, woman, I am aware that you are exhibitionist. “We ought to keep her corpse, however. If my family’s staff is found, I can revive her to her previous state, or use her body as a catalyst to summon a stronger Undead.”

The reason why I wanted the Chimera to be returned to life was to make the look for the staff easier, so I easily refused the silly choice of turning the Chimera into a common Undead. The second proposal was less interesting, as I said before, I wasn’t interested in bringing back someone from the dead just so they can be jailed or be enslaved by me. However, the final proposal for the corpse after the staff was found was rather interesting, as I could make use of my enemy.

“Do you need the whole body, or can we give some part of the girl a proper burial?” My question drew a raised brow from Henri, and a few idle glances from the parts of the local tribe that weren’t celebrating their newfound freedom. There were only a few of them, mostly guides and foragers who were compiling their findings over the years, but they all stopped to stare at me and hear my explanation. “What? She was an enemy, but a part of her should still get a funeral. She’s someone’s kid somewhere, y’know?”

In all honesty, I wasn’t at all that intrigued with the notion of using my enemy’s corpses as a source of soldiers. It was too close to what the Empire did with Kindred bodies, even if it wasn’t as horrific as what happened to those, they decided were better off “alive” and being of use for longer periods of time.  Chopping up Kindred and using bits and pieces of them to further my agenda was frankly horrific, and I was second-guessing myself even now, but Ylstu needed stronger defenders with what was to come.

I was making Ylstu into the “heart” of the Kindred’s war effort.

If it went down, if I didn’t defend it enough, it could potentially doom and damn entire armies of Kindred in the middle of Empire territory.  At least tens of thousands of Kindred were going to become nothing more than lobotomized slaves of the Empire, or chopped up material to summon armies with, if Ylstu fell while the war was ongoing. Therefore, if I had to, I’d swallow my own distaste on the matter, so that I could increase the defensive ability of Ylstu.  I was working to get other people to get their hands dirty instead of me, so I needed to at least give them a decent chance at getting back home, even if I had to do somethings which I found unsavory.

Still, though, like with Gacha, I had lines I wasn’t going to cross.

“No, my lord, we will need the entire body and spirit of the Chimera as a catalyst to create a truly powerful beast for you—

I heard what I needed to hear, and made my decision.

“Then, no. Forget it. Bury it.” I could deal with using the Chimera’s corpse as a catalyst for a strong, Undead Kindred under my command, if I could bury it and see it off as an enemy. Taking somebody back from the afterlife, putting them back into their body, and changing them until they were someone else? Nuh-uh. That was not something I had any interest in whatsoever. I might as well bully Ashe, if I wanted to dive that deep into the darkside. Cut out the middleman and just hit rock bottom right away. “And, I don’t want you to offer that to me ever again.”

“Understood, my lord.” Henri got off the table and curtsied. It would’ve been elegant and perfect, if she hadn’t been flashing me while she did it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Woman, you’d be so freaking cool, if you weren’t a massive pervert. If I hadn’t told the Driders to deny your requests, you’d also have a see-through cloak, so you can’t deny your desire to look like a series-Ryona heroine ready to go into New Game + for the umpteenth time. “I will ensure the Chimera is laid to rest and that her form cannot be used by others.”

The exhibitionist, silver haired Lich floated away after that, leaving me with the various local specialists.

All of whom were looking at me with respect and awe for my radical decision to not use my enemy’s corpse and soul to give myself a powerful subordinate. I did my best to ignore them, and not feel sick to my stomach.

Frankly, I shouldn’t get so much credit for doing the right thing.

Their awe and appreciation for me was just fucking depressing.

I really needed to up the standards of Kindred. There were some bright spots here and there, but their society was ultimately a depressing mess. The rich and powerful ruled with an iron first, the poor were born poor and weak without any chance at getting stronger, and those with money only had money as long as they didn’t step on the toes of someone who could murder them for what they had.

But that will have to wait until later, until the Empire fell, because even not the changes being instituted were being opposed by those already in power.  While the Empire was a strong enemy that Roseanne and her Kindred could fight alone, she really needed to watch out for the peace that was going to follow after this conflict. The smarter, entrenched nobility will bide their time until they get stronger from the war’s end, and the new economy and systems, until they start opposing Roseanne.

If everything went wrong, if the peace wasn’t won as well as the war, then what was happening here was just going to happen across the continent.

Kindred Warlords fighting one another for villages trying to get by.

I really, really needed to make sure that didn’t happen.

It would fucking suck to win one war just to head straight into another.