Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 79 (Patreon)

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 79

…

Commissioned by Shaderic

Wordcount: 2500

…

Thanks to me sacrificing my pride and diginity, we arrived a day earlier than expected in the Chimera’s territory.

Or, to be more exact, we arrived at one of the three villages she had under her control.

Our guide did most of the talking, but soon enough we had a rough look of what life would be like in the region, if it ended up under the Chimera’s rule.

The villages under her rule mainly worked in collecting pearls, and if they didn’t pay up with at least a sack’s worth, they would have to pay by surrendering one of their men, or a several coops of chickens.

Unsurprisingly, the villages were larger and relatively more industrialized than the ones that were free. The houses were made of wood and they had a communal kiln, as well as a communal well. Each home had a smoke stack, a yard with a coop, and their clothes were woven more sturdily, despite being composed as they same plant fibers as their “free” cousins.

It wasn’t a surprise because they had to meet more demands than their cousins. The demands made it so that they were required to build boats, travel, and cultivate poultry. The boats also let them launch expeditions past the Gryphon’s territory towards the Empire, so that they could they could acquire men to supplement their population

But even then, it was obvious that they were being taxed just shy of their breaking point. Most of the turtle-based Kindred were lither and smaller than the guide, and Ashe found that growling at one or two wasn’t enough, as their lust was being multiplied by their barely-suppressed hunger. They offered baskets of eggs, but they didn’t dare touch the actual chickens themselves unless they were old, and the leader of the village practically groveled for our extra rations when our guide told her about our meals.

Even though it risked alerting the Chimera, I had the Harpy with us go fetch some rations, because local, insurrectionist support was worth risking the element of surprise for.

Anyway, it was obvious that the Chimera didn’t know how to rule properly, since she didn’t institute a class of nobility below her.

She kept the local leadership of the tribes, without looking into rivals that she could twist and spoil to her side, and basically treated them all like trash. The chieftain who controlled the village without the Chimera around received nothing more for her duties. There was no incentive for her the leaders to work for her. Thus, the Chimera ruled alone, receiving all the wealth, and lacked any support from the locals.

We gained the support of the village the moment our support Harpy returned with a satchel with enough cured fat and spices to last our small group two weeks.

With a few older, tough chickens supplementing the feast, it was enough to give a full bowl, and a watered-down bowl, to everyone in the small village.

That was practically enough for them to support us fully.

Still, there were problems with that plan.

They weren’t allowed anything more than sharpened sticks and nets, and even though they looked attractive and appealing on the outside, they were emaciated on the inside. While they were still Kindred, they still had magic and monstrous strength at their disposal, those two qualities were already heavily outstripped by the Chimera. Even if they were well-fed, had proper weapons, and training, they still need few dozens of warriors willing to die… just to have a chance at the Chimera dying.

As much of an asshole as I was, and while numbers always counted for something a fight, I knew better than to throw starving warriors armed with sticks at a Chimera.

However, even if they were more “civilized” than the other villages, that didn’t mean that they lost their ability to traverse the jungle quickly.

One of the worst things that I left behind at camp, due to the necessities of my plan, was the ability to have eyes and ears in the sky. While the Wyverns and Harpies assisted in battle from time to time, I usually wanted them providing me with information, so that I could control the battlefield.

Though the native Kindred wouldn’t be able to do the job as well as the Wyvern and Harpies, they were better at the Chimera at sneaking through the jungle, and were quick to understand how relay messaging worked.

So, with a few hunks of cured fat, spices, and a Hellhound at my back, I managed to secure some local support and made a rough perimeter to catch the Chimera in upon her return from her expansion efforts.

Getting starved, oppressed people to do what I wanted by offering them hope and food left a bitter taste in my mouth, but I hardly had any options.

I made do with what I had.

And, of course, the knowledge that the Chimera was going to get what was coming to her helped a lot.

…

Ashe listened attentively, while we waited for news of the Chimera’s arrival. Though I packed lightly for the journey, I still made sure to bring my notes about the Chimera. I’d perused Henri’s brain for info, compared it to what I heard from the Dragon, as well as the locals. I discarded the unimportant bits, (it’s preferences in males, average three sizes, etc.) in favor of dissecting it as an opponent.

I did what I could, and wished that I didn’t, because I could’ve just put “scariest thing imaginable” and saved a lot of time.

“The Chimera has four pairs of eyes. The first is the normal set on its face. The next two are on the “heads” at its shoulders and the last is at its tail, which is a poisonous snake.” The Chimera was an amalgam of a Dragon, a Baphomet, Lion, and a Snake. It had a fourth of each of those creatures’ power, but far more versatility, and according to history the strongest of them could defeat the originals by knowing how to combine and utilize all their powers. Thankfully, that was mostly for the case of particularly long-lived ones. “It’s known mostly for using poison, but on occasion it’s spewed out fire, and used some forms of magic.”

Ashe nodded attentively and clung to me every word, she sat much like a dog, with her arms parallel to her legs and palms against the floor. Thankfully, since she kept her legs closed. She actually looked cute instead of stupidly arousing. While the pose was one move away from a leg-spread with her holding her own ankles, I took what I could get out of the situation.

“You are stronger than the Chimera. If you get in close, then there shouldn’t be any problems, especially since your flames can destroy magic.” Hellhounds were resistant to magic, but when they covered themselves in hellfire, they practically became immune. The issue was that move was very tiring for Ashe. She could maintain it for five minutes under stress, while fighting Ur, and in the last minute she had to stay on the defensive and basically could only buy time. “The problem is finding an angle for you to charge in, so that you don’t get hit by Dragon’s flame, some sort of magic, or for the Chimera to disengage.”

“Ah. I am of understanding. The Chimera will flee instead of fight with its strength!”

“Exactly.” That was the issue with using a Hellhound. They were an infamous species amongst even the Kindred. That meant that, while their strengths and feats made them feared, there were also plenty of shared strategies designed to deal with them. The most pertinent of which, here and now, would be engaging from a distance. “Even if you can track her, it won’t matter because she’s faster than you and can keep her distance while pelting you with whatever she gets her hands on.”

In long-range combat, Ashe will lose against the Chimera.

In mid-range combat, the Chimera was likely to take a hit or two, and disengage before settling into long-range.

Therefore, by process of elimination, short-range combat, where Ashe could literally tear the Chimera apart or force her to surrender, was our best bet.

But our opponent didn’t just have eyes on the back of her head, but also eyes on her shoulders pointed towards her left and right.

Thankfully, both heads weren’t those of Baphomets, but instead of a Baphomet and a Dragon.

Man, now that I think about it, I should be thankful that a Chimera’s extra parts were actually monsters instead of other Kindred.

It’d be weird and disgusting as hell to look at four Kindred mashed together into one.

Eww.

Anyway, back to our best and only plan.

“We need to distract the snake, and you need to approach from the left.” Dragons were predatory creatures with eyes focused forward. They had poor peripheral vision, because they were meant to rule the skies and find prey down below. Goats, meanwhile, could see practically everything from their nose to their ears, because they were prey animals. I drew the rough angles and estimates I had on the dirt floor with a stick. There was a lot of overlap between various sets of eyes, but theoretically, if the tail could be addressed, then there was a slim path. “This route right here, from the Chimera’s back and at an angle from her left side is, your best chance to get in close without her seeing you.”

I waited for an affirmation from my subordinate, as I looked at the near-perfect circle continuous vision our ambush target had.

When Ashe didn’t reply, I was worried that she was afraid and I told her more than she needed to know.

Soldiers needed to know what they did only to the point the information gave them confidence.

Anything more than that was just the poison known as fear.

However, just as I was about to say something, Ashe cocked her head back and forth before asking a question:

“Would it not be better to go from above, if the tail-eyes are distracted?”

The words made me blink several times before I looked back down.

The heads on the shoulders didn’t have necks so they couldn’t look up, and with the tail looking where we wanted it to via our planned distraction, it wasn’t going to be scanning the skies either.

“You’re right. That’s absolutely right. Well done.” I didn’t bother hiding the fact that I was wrong, because I was. I’d focused too much on the problems from a 2-Dimension point of view, despite the fact I was trying to invent 3-Dimensional tactics. Just because I didn’t have my usual, airborne assets, that didn’t mean I could take the heigh advantage in a goddamn jungle with a thick canopy. There were so many places to hide up above for Kindred that I may as well have considered the trees as my airspace. “How good are you at climbing trees, Ashe?”

Ashe preened and gave a goofy smile at my first compliment, but outright beamed, stood up, and puffed out her chest in a distracting manner when I asked about her ability to climb.

“Of my tribe, I am the finest! The only one able to chase squirrels up trees and branches!” The boast seemed goofy on the surface, but it was a frightening asset to have in jungle warfare. An armored Hellhound traversing the canopy faster than a squirrel? I’d have nightmares trying to fight that… and I had one on my side. “So, we shall be of doing my idea?”

I gave a nod at that, stood, and brushed the dirt from the road.

“Yeah, but first you’re going to show me that you can do it just to make sure.” Ashe nodded and we both made for the tree line. I made sure to walk ahead of her and not risk seeing how little a slingshot covered up from the rear. Wait a minute. Wasn’t I going to be seeing a lot of it from the bottom right now? “Wait a second, let’s get the guide—

“No, I am of wishing to prove myself to you Hachiman!” Without any sign of lewdness in her visage, Ashe’s eyes sparkled as her hands began to push me forward. If she had lewd intentions, I would’ve refused and backed out, but I only saw an eagerness to please in her eyes. “Please! I would be of great joy to show my talents!”

Woman, with that armored reverse-leotard and slingshot swimsuit, you’ll be showing me a lot more than talent… so please have some actual, lewd intentions behind your plans so that I can stop feeling like a damn pervert!

“I am the very best warrior of Ylstu! You shall be of witnessing this, Hachiman!’

How are you so pure and lewd at the same time!?

…

Fortunately, though I barely survived Ashe’s showcasing of her talents, we returned to the village just as news from the patrols set out arrived.

The Chimera was arriving soon, and the newest village she tried to get under her control actually put up a fight, so she was coming back to lick a few wounds.

While the Chimera getting injured was good news, the fact that she destroyed a village wasn’t.

People had breaking points, and those under the Chimera’s control were already pretty close, and the news of what she did couldn’t have come at a worse time.

If she’d done it earlier, we could’ve come in while the rebellion flared up, but now the rebellion was threatening our ambush. Not only was the fragile perimeter surveillance set to crumble, it was becoming likely that the Chimera was going to give all her villages wide berth, and head towards her hideout to lick her wounds instead of settling into a village to feast on some Chickens and fuck a few dudes.

That wouldn’t be a problem, if we knew where the Chimera’s hideout was, but the bitch had a stronghold that couldn’t be spotted from above, courtesy of years of fighting against two winged adversaries.

In fact, if I was her, I’d have numerous, small, and hidden safehouses, just in case one was found. She even had the strength to spare to create little, underground dirt hovels to her liking, so she could rest in peace from any firestorms or tornadoes with some underground shelters.

Suffice to say, our interests lay in attracting her towards a village and attacking her before she reached it. The other two villages were relatively close, and we had runners there at the ready to relay the news, so even if she didn’t come to the village that we’d allied with we’d have her in our sights.

But now that plan was set to fail because our target lost her temper, and decided to fuck over a lot of people for the shits and giggles.

After a few minutes of wracking my brain for ideas on how to attract the injured Chimera with the volatile situation in mind… I came up with an idea that Ur, Kurama, Henri, Ashe, Tanis A’Bel, and just about everyone I knew would hate me for.

But one that was going to work without a semblance of a doubt.