Transdim: Date Night (Patreon)

Transdim: Date Night 

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Wordcount: 2500

Commisioned By John Hancock

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Give-and-take is an incredibly simplified way to describe relationships between individuals.

I would go as far as to say that it’s a phrase entirely suited for individuals who are inherently selfish, or born into societies that are heavily invested into making selfish people who want the entire world to be solely theirs.

Yes, I will totally say that some people live their entire lives thinking the world revolves around them.

But that’s beside the point.

I think of relationships as something precious. Something that spawns between people through circumstance, which can only grow if properly nurtured. Relationships are logically investments of time into other people, which will be reciprocated, and thus increase “closeness.” That “closeness” grows until both parties become part of one another’s lives, one way or another, through their mutual investment.

Time isn’t the only resource involved, of course.

Trust is key as well.

In order to be closer to another person, to be able to truly connect with them, both sides need to open up, involve each other in their personal lives, and become parts of one another’s life.

I wouldn’t go as far to say that both sides need to know everything about one another, though.

Trust is also about knowing boundaries.

There are parts of people that only they know… though sometimes they might be wrong about that and the only ones who can convince them are those they let in.

But, again, I’m deviating from the point.

What I’m trying to say is that I’m a young man with no experience in relationships, about to go on a date with two Elves who dislike one another, and I have so many issues that it’s not even funny.

Hell, I’m sure that I’m an absolute moron by insisting that the two of them need to get to know one another and become friendly. If I had a smidgen of intelligence, I’d have let things go on as they did, and not doing anything that might provoke a negative response. Letting things go as they did, and ignoring the problem, was the best course of action and the one that I should’ve taken.

Instead, I insisted on the three of us spending time together like a nitwit.

Not only that, but I’m absolutely not qualified to be in a relationship with anyone, yet I’ve arranged to spend time with two women at the same time who want me involved in their lives, while I could barely trust someone to make my breakfast without paying them.

Undoubtably, from all I know about myself and my circumstances, this entire night is going to be an absolute shitshow.

…

“This is an excellent carriage, Riveria.”

“Thank you. It took a bit of time to reserve it.”

What.

“The smooth ride is worth it.”

“I believe that’s to do with one of Hachiman’s inventions during his fugue. A suspension system holds carriage aloft on springs.”

The.

“Huh. That’s interesting. What was it used for originally?”

“For simple transportation wagons, as to speed up delivers of goods.”

Hell.

I sat between Lyon and Riveria with one arm held by the other, as they conversed casually with each other in a carriage we shared. Both were clad in formal, matching emerald gowns with emeralds set in silver jewelry, while I wore a black suit between them. Both of them were matching each other’s gaze and making small talk without a hint of antagonism, while I sat shocked, mystified, and a little scared as I became aware that I was between two mature, well-proportioned ladies.

No, Hachiman, this isn’t the time to be aroused! There has to be a catch to this that you’re missing. Some sort of subtext in their conversation that makes it clear that they’re knife fighting with words!

Stop thinking about how amazing shoulder-less, sleeveless dresses are and focus on ignoring having mankind’s hopes and dreams pressed against your arms.

If Hachiman Jr. awakens to his true power, you’ll surely loss and see a dead-end tonight!

After a few moments of recollecting my thoughts, and suppressing my male instincts, I managed to speak my mind regarding the situation the only way I knew how: directly and rudely.

“Okay. The two of you are being friendly to one another when you’re usually at each other’s throats.”  I tried to leave their grips, and the incessant promises and allure of side-boob, but without magical enhancements I wasn’t a match for either of the Elves. The longer the bosoms pressed against me, the stronger Hachiman Jr. became. Soon, I will be unable to stop him. “What’s the catch, because I’m an idiot who can’t understand social cues.”

“He’s surprisingly weak when he opens up, huh?”

“Yes. It’s very refreshing.”

“It’s quite cute.”

“I agree.”

Am I getting bullied? Was this being bullied? I felt like this was getting bullied.

Actually, it felt like my former club president managed to activate a few genes that didn’t activate, mature significantly, and duplicated herself. As horrible as it is to compare one girl to another, I said long ago that Elves are basically a race of Yukinoshitas, and that fact was being proven right at this moment.

I was flustered, confused, and frantic.

Both Lyon and Riveria merely beat me down with decisive statements, while doing nothing whatsoever to alleviate my concerns.

Wait, since Yukinoshita would never be able to hold me down, does that make Elves Super Yukinoshitas?

Someone call Free-Yuigahama-za so she can eradicate this race before it destroys her!

What was I talking about again?

I was onto something before I decided to use humor to quell the massive blush on my face.

Oh, right.

“D-don’t avoid the subject. The two of you know what I’m talking about.” I managed to get my heartbeat under control, and my face was feeling less like a furnace, so I decided to act as much as could between two smirking Elves pressing against me from both sides. It wasn’t much, but all myths have heroes fighting against terrible, titanic foes. Nearly-bare side-boob totally counts and I’ll fight anyone who claims otherwise. “I don’t want the two of you pretending to like one another. I want you both to be honest.”

I managed to get the right words out, because I had to.

This whole time together would be pointless if the two of them just pretended to be other people. What really mattered was that we’d see each other for who we truly are, so that we can settle our differences—

“Hachiman, we normally butt heads to establish who is superior. That will not change, but today is meant for all our enjoyment. We won’t ruin that.” Riveria’s words broke through my sense of reason and logic, especially when Lyon gave a sharp nod of agreement with her words. Excuse me, but whaaaaattttttt!? “Both of us are mature, powerful, and have known you the longest. Therefore, we normally argue for the sake of establishing ourselves against one another and not conceding or place… it would be rude to bring such a thing on a night you requested that we spend together.”

I spent what felt like an eternity staring at Riveria’ earnest expression, as she moved from holding my arm within her hand to descending downward to holding my hand.

That was when Lyon decided to speak up, and took hold of my chin while directing my gaze into her own. Our faces were millimeters apart, and she was so close I could feel the heat from her skin

“Hachiman.” Lyon spoke and breathed out in a way that broke my brain. “We care enough about you to reach out towards one another and accept each other. Why would we fight on the night that you ask us to get along?”

The logic was completely and utterly sound to the point where all the words that I tried to make refused to leave my mouth.

Leaving me defenseless while Lyon held my chin and forced me to look only at her.

Naturally, as easily as breathing, she took advantage of the situation… and shortly after her Riveria did the same.

…

I was in such a daze during the formal, high-class dinner that we were at that I barely followed along with the conversation.

In fact, I would’ve remained in my fugue, if not for the sudden appearance of two, generic, and shitty nobles.

When they appeared, it was like suddenly regaining consciousness from an Elven-induced coma.

The two morons were looming over me, their mouths flapping, as they talked about how scrawny and weak I was an how thankful I should be about them taking care of “my girls.”

What’s that?

It’s sweet that I awakened from my lewdness-induced dream state to protect Lyon and Riveria.

Not at all.

That wasn’t why I woke up at all.

I woke up because with the very first insult aimed my way everyone with the slightest hint of survival instinct registered the bloodlust coming from both Lyon and Riveria. Both of them could ignore people going after them and trying to flirt with them, but when it came to people, they… cared… about their reactions were far, far more drastic.

So, I woke up in order to save the lives of two morons, and so I did by standing up, lifting both with one hand each, and giving both a light zap.

Then, I checked on Lyon and Riveria, as they remained seated at the dinner table I barely recognized.

Both were still glaring daggers at the two morons, even while the staff apologized for them and carried them out of the restaurant.

Man, both Lyon and Riveria get too protective of me sometimes—

“Tch. It was going well, too. Now our plans are ruined.” Riveria crossed her arms and levelled a glare at the staff. The two Elves in the dining room started kneeling and supplicating instantly. That made most of the other staff freeze. “Please bring the cheque. The evening is ruined.”

“We could’ve had him tonight, yes. I should’ve dealt with both of them right away.” At Lyon’s cold words a few individuals abruptly stood up and walked out of the restaurant. She turned their way immediately. “Leave Orario and don’t return.”

“Oi, at least let me think you both care about me being insulted and weren’t just out to lure me into bed!” I complained without any hesitation and yelled at both of the Elves present. Both rolled their eyes in synch. “I’m more than a bootycall you need to schmooze up, dammit!”

“Schmooze? Don’t make it sound so droll, Hachiman. We meant to seduce you. It’s very difficult, takes immense amounts of time, and is fragile.” Riveria leaned on the table with one elbow, resting her chin on her gloved palm, and reached out for the cheque. She barely paid it a glance, before leveling a look at the poor, trembling waiter. “Charge it to my account as planned, but keep in mind I am very displeased with your establishment for allowing such ruffians in here.”

“You are a prude. You rarely initiate, so we initiate by setting the mood for you.” Lyon idly waved in the direction where guards were looming over the two belligerents who saved me from being savagely conquered by two Elves. They were villains in the eyes of everyone except me. I prayed for them, especially as they were given potions that cleared their minds and they realized what they did… and looked up only to see Lyon’ glare. “Please consider showing off your manly side more. It’s very enticing and appealing, Hachiman.”

Riveria let out a sigh and nodded with a slight, fond smile on her lips.

“Yes, it’s wonderful when he takes charge, isn’t it? Even if only at the start, it’s very refreshing and appealing.”

Oi, I don’t like where this conversation is going.

“His enthusiasm at the start is great, but it is best when he desperately tries to keep up to please. The diligence and determination is very enticing.”

Why are you both talking about this in public?

“Ah, yes, it is! You put it into words well, Lyon!”

Please have mercy on my soul.

“It would be nice to experience the same as you have on the beach though, Riveria.”

Just because my reputation is terrible doesn’t mean you both can ruin it any further, dammit!

…

I served the two Elves a quick midnight meal of sauteed vegetables, bread, and some broth, which they both thanked me for, while I took a seat on the table.

The rest of the castle was asleep, so the three of us in our stupidly fancy clothes had all the privacy we wanted to talk and open up to one another.

Lyon spoke up first, before I took a single bite of my own midnight meal.

“Hachiman, both Riveria and I think you need to be more proactive and have more confidence in yourself in the bedroom.” I was glad that I didn’t, since I would’ve spit it out. “You might feel inadequate, but it is something that can be rectified through experience, and we are sure you will excel.”

Spit it out?

Forget that.

I would’ve chocked to death on that bite, since I found myself fighting against my own spit and coughing it out of my lungs, due to my surprise.

Unfortunately, my surprise gave an opening for Riveria to use to her advantage.

“It is obvious that you feel that you are not good enough, but we are your partners, and our evaluation of you is valid.”  Riveria ate daintily and spoke after swallowing small bites. With each word my will to live left me, especially as Lyon nodded along. “You have much to be proud of, Hachiman, and with more experience you will surely become incredible.”

There wasn’t any hint of lewdness or arousal on either of their faces and that made the situation that much worse. Both Riveria and Lyon were being encouraging, supportive, and perceptive about my problems… and I absolutely fucking hated it. Just let me die instead of tormenting with this situation.

For a brief second, there was silence as the two ate the meal I prepared, while I did my best to pull myself back from the brink of ego-death.

But that silence was broken by a sledgehammer once the meal was finished.

“There is no better time than the present to start. Your confidence in yourself will not grow if you keep putting off training it for another day, and relying upon us.”

Lyon stood up whilst speaking, and Riveria followed. Both Elves gazed at one another, before walking to where I sat at the table.

Both took hold of my shoulder while standing at my back like unshakeable monoliths.

“After you finish your meal, you will initiate and seduce us.” Riveria informed me with the gentlest smile I’ve seen on her face. “We will be waiting in your room.”

With those words, the two left towards my room… leaving me alone in the dining room… until Cranel walked out of the shadows with a blush on his face.

I buried my face in my hands, while my student gave me the deepest bow of respect I’d ever seen in my life.