Somehow, The Countryside is Different: Route Ran 3 (Patreon)

Somehow, The Countryside is Different: Route Ran 3

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Commissioned by Shaderic and Arksoul

Wordcount: 5000

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I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t like manga that make me think too much. While a certain demographic certainly enjoys mystery manga and the like, I am unfortunately a relatively normal individual.

I read manga to turn off my brain, insert myself into a power fantasy, and look at lewd outfits.

Therefore, I have very little experience at all at decoding mysteries, hunting things down, and generally finding things that don’t want to be found.

Gensokyo was a very small place, and everyone knew everyone else, therefore a finding someone was relatively easy. They either lived in a big location that could easily be an entire, multiple-floor dungeon in an RPG, or kept to an area where they could easily, always be found. While I certainly didn’t have an internal map system, or the ability to use my senses and just see things I shouldn’t see to get me clues, I could generally bumble around until I found the person I needed to apologize to on Yakumo Yukari’s behalf.

Therefore, it wasn’t at all unreasonable to expect that once we placed all the talismans around in town, Ran and I had a lot of free time to waste as we just waited for the Youkai to show up.

And by “waste” I mean absolutely fail at keeping our hands off one another.

I’m a teenage boy with an older girlfriend who happened to like physical affection very much.

It’s a miracle we got the job done before we started getting handsy.

Source: me.

…

Ran stared at me.

I stared back.

Ran tilted her head to one-side, then the other, and slowly, a blush started to form on her cheeks as she finally, truly understood the full weight of my proposition.

“Oh… we haven’t done that, yet have we?” Ran’s voice was strained, meak, and very cute as she tried to cover her face as she lay upon the pillow. Beneath the sheets both she and I were clean thanks to our shower… which had been far less clean. We were resting after our most recent dalliance. The one right after school, which had been preceded by the one right before school. “We haven’t gone on a single date.”

“Yep. Not one meeting where we just got to know one another.” We’ve spent time together as mutual sufferers under Yakumo’s employment. That was how I grew to like her over the years. However, while we knew about one another, we didn’t exactly know a each other completely. In the personal sense. In the physical sense… we had that covered. “I figured we should go on a date or two, spend time together, and not… you know… just go at each other incessantly every day.”

Ran continued to cover her face, but nodded in agreement after a moment.

Then, through her palms, she asked a muffled question.

“We… we kissed before we did anything… right?” Ran gave a groan as she tried to remember. I had to blink for a second, as I tried to recall things. Thankfully, though, I recalled that was indeed the case and gave a definitive nod. We did indeed kiss before we threw ourselves at one another. “Oh. Good. At least we did that.”

Things were quite for a second, until Ran spoke up again.

“Hachiman… what exactly do we do together besides have sex and work?”

To that particular question, I had no answer.

Because the answer did not exist.

“Nothing. We do absolutely nothing besides that.”

“Ah. I see.”

“Yeah.”

“We need to go on a date.”

“Several.”

“Several.” Ran affirmed with a sigh and took her hands off her face. She turned towards me and a certain look started to form on her face… before she promptly turned away and covered her face again. “Right now. We need to go on a date right now, before this gets any worse.”

“Got it.” I was tired, but after several weeks with Ran, the strain was lessening and getting more familiar. Therefore, I was more than capable of getting up and out of the bed. “Lets get out before we start going at it again, yep.”

“Hachiman, don’t say it out loud!”

“Yeah. Got it.”

Dammit, woman, stop looking so cute, while you’re embarrassed!

You’re making it hard to not tease you and hard to not just jump back into bed!

…

Ran decided to dress conservatively on our date. Boots, long-sleaved sweater, and a long-skirt. It was trendy, fashionable set of clothes… that got dozens of eyes staring her way because it was a trendy, fashionable set of clothes being worn by a beautiful lady.

I walked beside her, while she took the building side, so that I could piss off as many people as possible by blocking the view.

Ran noticed the stares, but didn’t care while I enjoyed being a bastard who blocked other people’s view. If you want to stare at a hot, blonde Kitsune in a white sweater, I suggest that you fuck off, get lost in a world of magic, and work your ass off to be worthy. You’re all wasting your time trying to get a glimpse, when you should all be working hard to get noticed.

By being jealous of me, you’re only making me happier, so I suggest that you all make your anger and anguish more productive by not being worthless.

Thank you for coming to this conference, please never bother me or my girlfriend again.

“Hachiman, from my research, dates between humans in modern times is less a matter of courtship and more a matter of relaxing around one another and growing closer.” Ran looked up from the phone Yakumo provided for her. It was a cheap one, but even the cheapest nowadays could get access to the internet. Thankfully, I won’t have to worry about my girlfriend falling into the depths of Gacha hell. “So we need to look for an activity that allows us to relax and speak to one another.”

Oof, those words struck right at every single one of my plans. I’d thought about taking her an arcade, the movies, or a library. None of those were particularly good for talking to one another, even though we both had interests in all three. I was sure she would’ve liked one of the movies at the theatre, while I watched a rerun of the PreCure movies.

Hm? What do you mean that’s not how movie dates worked?

What’s the point of people talking about the same movie that they watched?

That sounded incredibly boring, especially if the movie ended up being boring.

“Huh. I think that leaves us with getting something to eat.” Ramen’s out of the question, even though we both liked that. There’s a custom with ramen shops that you ate your meal, and got out to let someone in. If there was no rush in a shop, it wasn’t worth going to. Therefore, I have no recommendations whatsoever besides chain brand foods. Saize, maybe? “There’s a bunch of places around here that don’t exist in Gensokyo, so let’s try a few things.”

“Ah, yes! That sounds very interesting!” Ran gave a little, happy smile at the thought and my wallet suddenly felt like it didn’t need to exist. Man, it sure is dangerous to have a girlfriend, huh? “I have always wondered what other foods from other cultures tasted… or perhaps even foods that are simply not available to Gensokyo.”

After getting a grip on my sudden urge to give Ran all my money so that she could eat whatever she wanted, I took a moment to make a plan that would make her happy, and keep me in the black.

“Then, let’s try Chiba’s local specialties and a little of the new fads.” Did you know that Chiba is the 2nd highest in agriculture in Japan? Chiba leads Japan in the growing of peanuts, as well as a half-dozen other vegetables. The local markets are literally stocked with cheap vegetables at the right time, and with sales you can live off a budget really, really well. That means there’s also plenty of local stalls that you need to check out! This is Hikigaya Hachiman: Chiba specialist. “Let’s check out the local market.”

Ran gave a single nod at my suggestion, and then proceeded to put her arm through mine, before putting her phone away.

“Yes. Let’s do that.”

My first date was going to check out the local market to search for local food and find bargains.

It would be a terrible first date for anyone else, probably, but Ran and I were anything but normal. I was a kid who luckily stumbled into a supernatural world, while she was a Kitsune who lived in that supernatural world. I didn’t mind showing her how I lived, and where I lived, while she was more than happy to stick close and see it all.

Therefore, even if it wasn’t normal, it was a first date that I felt that I could be proud to take Ran on.

…

Ran happily consumed some Takoyaki, while I picked out ingredients for dinner.

The market was filled with farmers who knew how bargaining worked, so I didn’t bother to haggle.

I locked eyes with the owner of the stall that had something that I wanted and laid things out straight:

“Yo, I’m doing groceries. I don’t haggle. Please don’t price gouge me. My parents are just corporate slaves.”

The words worked and I paid either a little below the price of a grocery, or at the same price. Not only that, but sometimes the bag was a little heavier than what I bought. A little respect went a long way, and I had a lot of practice showing a lot of respect towards people who had more power over me. While these elderly shopkeepers couldn’t turn a small town into a crater with a wave of their hand, it was easy enough to treat them as such, and get what I needed and more in exchange.

My budget for the date was turning into groceries for the rest of the week, which was going to make my corporate slave parents very happy, and have less questions about why I spending more time in my room.

Ran was officially living somewhere else, and she was messing a little with the perception of everyone at home, so they didn’t detect her… or anything that we did. My room was getting covered in little talismans more and more over the course of the day, and it was feeling bigger, cleaner, and safer with each passing day, yet no one at home noticed. However, while Ran and magic were both getting unnoticed, my sudden change in habits were getting noticed.

And, I wasn’t interested in my mom entering my room, while I was with Ran in our more… intimate moments… even if she couldn’t see us.

I wasn’t into that in the slightest.

But back to shopping with my girlfriend while she happily ate food.

Naturally, it couldn’t go as smoothly as expected.

“Eh, Hachiman, is that you!?” Kaori Orimoto looked at me with a surprised gaze, as I paid the latest stall granny. “It’s been ages! Hilarious!”

Ran blinked at the statement like any several-centuries old Kitsune would.

“What is so hilarious about not seeing one another for a long time?” Ran questioned, while Kaori approached us. My former classmate wore a tracksuit and had a bike with a basket, which was full of groceries. She waved and smiled at the stalls she passed by with casual ease. “Is she alluding to her rejection of you? Does she find it funny that you avoided her for so long?”

“No. Well… probably not. She’s not a mean girl, y’know?” Maybe, if I saw Orimoto again a few weeks ago, I’d have a small panic attack. However, things were different now. I had a girlfriend, I did things with my girlfriend, and my girlfriend was right next to me. Wow, that made me sound really, really spineless. Did manliness vanish in the face of every girl that rejected you, or something? “It’s probably some sort of slang that I missed.”

“Ah. You would miss such things.” Ran agreed with me and hurt me a little, but stepped forward to put herself a little between me and Orimoto. Since I didn’t care at all that much about being in-the-now, as well as being part of the rest of modern society, I just appreciated my blonde, Kitsune girlfriend taking a step forward to protect me. Her butt was very great. Oh, and her protective instincts too. That was also great. “Hello there, my name is Yakumo Ran. Do you know Hachiman?”

Orimoto Kaori blinked stopped for a second, blinked several times, and looked at the both of us.

“Eh? Hikigaya-kun… you’re supposed to show off your girlfriend! You’re not supposed to keep her in the dark!” Orimoto’s eyes brightened and she took two rapid steps forward. A large smile spread across her face, as she looked at both me and Ran. I looked at my girlfriend, and as I suspected, the Kitsune had a massive blush on her face as she wasn’t prepared for the direct assault. Sorry, Ran, but the girl who rejected me is nice, sociable, and very upfront with everyone, not some miserly, ill-tempered bitch. This girl completely rejected me, and gave me a clean break as possible. My reasons to dislike her are petty at best. “Wow, she looks amazing! Is she foreign? She was looking at everything like it was the first time she saw a market!”

This was the first time Ran was seeing a modern market, yes… but there was no reason to admit that.

Ran would normally be able to say the same, and coolly defuse the situation, but being told she looks amazing and having our relationship pointed out fried her brain.

So, I had to step in.

“She’s new here. I’m showing her around as a date.” I didn’t hesitate to utilize facts to my advantage. If I let this social creature take a hold of the conversation, but doing something silly like hesitating onr making things up, I was going to end up digging a hole that I couldn’t get out of. Small talk and aggrandization was the territory of normies. It would be stupid of me to try and fight her in her home turf. I had to make do with solid, simple tactics. “Yeah, she’s amazing, isn’t she? I love her.”

Ran suddenly stiffed and looked at me with a panicked, reddening face while a small blush formed on Orimoto’s face.

“Oh, jeez. Ha ha… you sure have changed since middle school, Hikigaya-kun.” The grin on Orimito’s face was actually honest. I didn’t see any sign of regret or pain on her face. She was just embarrassed from what I said aloud in public… and happy that I was with someone. A little part of me was disappointed that she didn’t feel anything in particular with me being with someone else, but it was a petty part of me that I easily managed to tell to shut up. “I’m happy for you. Highschool ended being real good change for you, huh?”

“Yep. I got a lot of things done… and if both Ran and I need to get a few more things done now, so we’ll be going.” After evaluating the situation, I decided that it was good enough, and that there was no reason at all to let it continue any further. Orimoto, my one-and-only normal crush, was happy for me and in good health. If I had any lingering feelings, I could deal with that myself, since the correct course of action now was to appreciate what I have and not what I didn’t. I might normally be very petty, but having a wonderful girlfriend and an active night life made me less inclined to work on it. “See ya, Orimito.”

I took Ran’s hand with the intention of spending more time with her, and tease her a lot about how she clammed up the moment someone complimented her, when life decided to throw a curveball at me.

“Ah, alright… but maybe you should both cosplay somewhere else? I mean, everyone’s paying it no mind, but folks might talk about it behind your back later!”

Orimoto saw right through Ran’s disguise as a normal human being.

Because, of course, while she and I could fuck the days away without any incident, the moment we try to do anything romantic and vaguely cute meant that the world was going to fuck us over.

Yeah.

We should’ve just stayed in bed.

…

Back in ancient times, those who could see supernatural things were born every now and again, and were capable of perceiving strange, weird shit even when that strange, weird shit tried to hide. I didn’t know how it worked across the rest of the world, but in Japan those individuals formed up, worked together, and started making traditions, talismans, and shrines which would protect the normal population.

It worked so well that eventually shrines just became a part of culture, as most Youkai who messed with humans got kicked out, until Gensokyo was made to harbor all Youkai that survived. Then, just in case, a super-overpowered lineage was put in charge of it, so that it wouldn’t end up messing anything up.

What I’m basically saying is that before the likes of Hakurei Reimu came to exist, due to careful preparation and mixing of naturally-talented human genes, those natural-talented human genes had to come from somewhere, at random, amongst normal humans.

Apparently Orimoto was one of them.

And, my former crush found out because she thought I was parading my girlfriend round in cosplay in public.

My former crush who was now staring at the small orb of wind in my hand, then to me, and then at Ran’s tails and normal dress in the middle of a park.

“Okay… uhhh… wow. Magic is real.” Orimoto had to take a seat about a fourth of the way into the conversation, and now she was limp on the bench questioning reality. Don’t worry, normie, it gets easier after a few months. You’ll eventually find it just another part of life… if you don’t decide to jump headfirst into it. The barrier to entry is literally just asking to volunteer at an old shrine and giving a ten-thousand Yen donation. Reimu would probably train you up to work for her the moment you show her the single bill. “Wow.”

Orimoto was naturally speechless regarding the whole thing, despite her usual, effusive behavior. It wasn’t every day that you find out that ancient legends were true, Youkai literally killed and ate people, and its only in the last century that walking alone in the night didn’t invite hungry monsters after you.

And, of course, while I had all this explained to me by several capable individuals, she had Ran and me to back up Ran’s words.

Yukari was a lazy slop most of the time, but I still recalled her doing her best to tell me the truth, before giving me the job offer.

Yukinoshita and Yuigahama joined my club, pestered me, and started showing signs of figuring it out through the books I lent them from Yukari. They were eased into the whole process, found out the talismans we were making were actually protective in nature, and found out about Youkai through books and theory.

Again, nothing like Orimoto’s discovery in the least.

Orimoto was quite for a bit, until she leaned forward on her knees, and started shaking a little.

“And… and there’s some sort of Youkai running around Chiba, now?” There was a little quiver of fear in her voice. Like I said before, Yukinoshita and Yuigahama knew the basics, and they followed Ran’s instructions on how to keep themselves and where they lived in safe. They had a foundation of knowledge and a supporter to help them out, after several weeks of soft introduction. Orimoto discovered things by seeing straight through a glamour, an old classmate telling her the truth, and then found out about the monster prowling her hometown on the same day. Needless to say, I would be scared as shit in her place, and it was amazing that she was handling it as well as she was. “W-what’s the deal with that? Is there something that I can do to stay safe?”

I was about to answer, but Ran spoke up instead.

“You can stay safe by doing nothing different, besides meeting with us after your classes. We will do our best to teach you how to prevent your detection, and upon emergency, defend yourself.” Ran’s voice was soothing as she spoke. Though my girlfriend just met this Orimito, she was being considerate of her already. I was almost jealous. In fact, I would’ve been jealous, if not for the fact Ran and I were going steady. “Hachiman, would you mind sharing her the locations in Chiba we have put surveillance up within, so that she can follow a safe route?”

“Mhmm, sure.” I took out my phone, and after a second Orimoto did as well. I gave her a copy of my map in Chiba, which marked the places where we set up talismans that could detect Youkai. “Avoid everywhere that has talismans, or anywhere near them. Stick to loud, crowded places with lots of people. Youkai keep to themselves and attack people who are alone.”

Unless they happen to be superpowered gods, saints, vampires, and other things… but I wasn’t going to tell Orimoto about those kinds of Youkai for a while.

She was already plenty freaked out, and while I would’ve liked to see a little jealousy on her for very selfish reasons, I wasn’t out to give her nightmares.

I might be petty, but I’m not demented.

“Thanks, I’ll do that. Stay in crowds, visit Hikigaya-kun after school, and be clam. I can do all of that.” Orimoto took several deep breaths before talking again, but some color in her cheeks returned as she forced herself to stand up and put on a game face. “I can do this. I will do this. I’ve stayed alive this long just fine following instructions, so it shouldn’t be a big deal, right?”

“Yes. That is correct. You will stay safe and secure, while we deal with the problem at hand.” Ran gave a smile towards Orimito, as she sat primly and properly beside me our bags of groceries. Orimoto had taken the bench across from us, before she got up and started looking over her bike. Ran stood up and handed her the little thing that she’d been making as we’d sat across from one another. “Take this. If you are in danger, tear it apart and it will call upon… a friend of ours to assist you.”

I only managed to get a glance at the slip of paper, but I recognized it immediately. It was the same slip of paper that I had, which would have Yakumo send me to her home, in the event of an emergency and if negotiations fell through. I never had to use mine, but even now I still had it just in case. While I was somewhat confident in my ability to apologize on behalf of Yukari, I worked better knowing that I could get away if she did something I couldn’t apologize for.

“Oh, thank you!” Orimoto smiled widely as she took the little talisman. She looked at it the same way did when I received mine. Since I was able to tell that it was special and powerful with my shitty abilities, I was sure that Orimoto was able to detect something more with her natural talent. Maybe it’ll give her more confidence than it did me in the early days… yeah, it probably will. She was looking better already. “Alright, I’ll see you both tomorrow! See ya, Hikigaya-kun! Ran-chan!”

And, as easily as breathing, Orimoto departed from our little group.

I took up the groceries and joined Ran as she waved thoughtfully at Orimoto.

Waiting for her proved to be a mistake.

“That girl is much too frail and slender for you. What were you thinking? You’d have hurt her.” I had to stop myself from choking on my spit, as Ran revealed that she wasn’t thinking about the ramifications of the reveal of the supernatural for a young woman… but the relationship that could’ve been between me and Orimoto. “How could you have ever considered making a family with her… that slip of a thing would have difficulty bearing a single child!”

Miraculously, I managed to reboot my brain as soon as Ran started talking.

“It was in middle school. I had a crush on her. I didn’t plan on making any families, having weddings, or anything like that.” Now that I thought about it… since I never had those thoughts about Orimito, did I ever like her as much as Ran? I had those particular fantasies and thoughts with my current girlfriend for a while. Maybe, back in middle school, I’d just been put off by all the rejections from Ran that I went for a nice girl? Man, I was dumb little shit. “And, this is modern times, Ran. Don’t evaluate women on their ability to have kids… or how well they can take making kids. It’s wrong.”

“Why would it be—

“Let’s drop the conversation until later. We can talk about it later. For now, just know it’s different outside of Gensokyo, even if that’s the case for the Human Village.” Ran had a frown on her face, but she nodded decisively when I finished my simplified explanation, and gave her a timeframe for a better, more thorough answer. Outside of the bedroom, my girlfriend was a very reasonable Kitsune. “Let’s start walking home. We can still make dinner before mom and dad get back.”

Ran nodded in acceptance of my answer, and we walked comfortable silence for a bit… until Ran opened her mouth again.

“She was a very nice girl and cute too, though. I can see why you liked her.” Ran mused and tried to sound casual, but that itself was a warning sign. While I appreciated her being coy and cute, I knew how she was well enough to know that wasn’t her usual personality. She was doing the thing where she had her hands behind her back and leaning forward, too. Yes. I can see that your body is amazing. Perky and buxom and filled. What was I talking about again? Ah, right. My cute jealous girlfriend. “I make myself look like her tonight if you want~.”

Oh.

Right.

Kitsune can transform physically.

This could lead into a bunch of lewd, sexy hijinks.

Not.

“If you wanna cosplay, or make yourself look different, I’d be all for it. But I’m not interested in being with other women.” The thought did interest me, but it felt wrong the more I thought about it. It would be like using someone else’s body without their permission… a somebody that I knew. Before even going into asking whether it would be cheating on my fantastic girlfriend, it came off as really, really fucked up. So, I wasn’t taking the option. “I’d rather see my cute girlfriend in lewd outfits than have her look like other girls.”

Ran was silent for a second, but I knew my answer as correct as soon as she took my arm and glued herself to my side.

“How lewd? That backless sweater? The reverse bunny suit? Those utterly depraved, skintight outfits on VNs?” You’re going to have to be a lot more specific in regards to depraved VN outfits, Ran. However, disregarding my commentary on the modern VN industry… holy crap. I didn’t just say the right thing. I picked the option that skipped all dialogue right into the “content.” “Tell me and I’ll make it happen, Hachiman-kun~.”

As we neared the edge of the park, we passed by a public restroom. A typical one made of gray brick with one half being for ladies and the other for men.

I’ll admit that a lot of fantastic ideas from very fantastic sources sprung up in my mind… but we had groceries and dinner to make.

Therefore, I had to grit my teeth, smash down my arousal, and take the helm while operating with the head between my shoulders instead of the one between my legs.

“Later. At home. After dinner.” My words were clipped and came out almost as a growl, while my face burned. Ran liked that and purred a little as she continued to cling to my arms. A few passersby stared a little. Instead of jealousy, I was receiving looks of disbelief… and a few nods of utter respect. They didn’t know what I did, but the results were obvious, and my fellow men could only let go and accept the outcome. “But if we didn’t have these groceries, with how you’re acting and with what you’re saying, I’d have dragged you into the bathroom, Ran.”

I meant for those words to be a warning, so that she could avoid talking about lewd things in public.

Instead, the blush on Ran’s face deepened considerably along with her breathing.

“I’ll remember that, Hachiman-kun.”

Help me.

I’m going out with a hot older woman who gets lewd as hell the moment you do anything romantic for her.

At this rate, I’m not getting into college without becoming a dad, dammit!