We Saved Reality So We Tried Livestreaming (AGG: Rise.) (Patreon)

We Saved Reality So We Tried Livestreaming (AGG: Rise.)

Commissioned by Chaosbrain

Wordcount: 1000

…

“Welcome everyone, thank you for coming. Today on Exotic Aesthetics, we have a special guest with us today: Coda.”

“Hello, it is nice to meet you all.”

Rabbit 124: Smol gf?

Rabbit 343: Bruh. 

Rabbit 431: Pocket--*Banned*

Rabbit 323: IRL shoulder lo--*Banned*

MiyakuroKita: Oh, for fuck’s sake Li, why would you do this.

Rabbit 111: lol even the mod knows this is going to be a shitshow.

Rabbit 273: pog?

“Today, we’ll be examining a toaster from the 1950s. As you can all see, it is the origin of the retro toaster, with the classic chrome, double-slot, and spring. This is the trendsetter.”

“It aesthetically pleasing, but it can be improved upon. It is basic and cannot do anything special.”

Rabbit 124: …why does it sound like she’s talking about women?

Rabbit 111: I don’t know, but I like it.

Rabbit 273: Pog.

Rabbit 774: CAN WE GET ONE STREAM WITHOUT A NEW HOT GRILL!? I’M HERE FOR THE TOASTERS, DAMMIT!

Rabbit 343: Holy shit she’s ignored the extra chair and just sat on his lap. 

MiyakuroKita: …How the fuck are the two of you not being lewd at all? 

“Since this is a vintage, we’ll be using an exact replica I had commissioned earlier today to test it. We’ll be using white bread of the time period, but several other breads as well. We shall put to the test it’s ability to create toast to its utmost limit. Coda, what did you prepare for today for our test?”

“Poptarts.”

Rabbit 343: she’s a madwoman!

Rabbit 322: …THAT SHIT’S COVERED IN FROSTING! The wattage will make it leak all over!

Rabbit 774: She’s going to kill that clone… let it happen!

Rabbit 111: Poptarts still exist!? I thought those sugar bombs went extinct!

Rabbit 273: POG! POG! POG!

MiyakuroKita: This almost makes this job worth it.

“Rabbit 322 has made a good point. The higher wattage of early toasters is most certainly not what a poptart is designed for. These are meant to make quick toast for breakfast. They are fast and quick. Not slow.”

“Then, you admit this model is a mono-tasker that can only create a singular kind of toast.”

Rabbit: 347: SHE DARES QUESTION THE CHIEFTAIN OF THE TUZI!?

Rabbit 111: …no, no. She’s got a point.

Rabbit 774: Heresy. REEEEEEEEEE.

Rabbit 958: Guys, its still good if it can only do one thing right.

Rabbit 273: found the mono 

Rabbit 333: MULTITASKERS ASSEMBLE! 

Rabbit 344: Multi Multi multi! 

Rabbit 975: Bruh, we can’t catch a break. Every hot girl on this channel hates on monotaskers.

Rabbit 387: MULTITASKER CHAD VS MONOTASKER VIRGIN.

MiyakuroKita: Yes. Fight for my amusement.

“Well, then, we shall see! Will this fantastic piece of technology meet our expectations, or will it falter? I have faith in its ability, while it does not. However, what matters the most is the results of the test!”

“It will fail.”

MiyakuroKita: If we needed money, this is where we’d have an ad read, but we’re filthy rich.

…

“The basic white bread has come out perfectly. Golden brown, but fluffy within, and tasty!”

“Control group. Expected results. Move on.”

Rabbit 344: How is she so cold to the toaster, but so cuddly to Song? 

Rabbit 454: Absolutely defencenless on Song, but absolutely savage to toaster.

Rabbit 312: Toaster is dying and y’all are here laughin’

Rabbit 124: Basic bitch toast. 

MiyakuroKita: You’re not wrong. That’s why you get to live.

…

“The modern white bread is… actually better than the old version when using this toaster! The toast is lighter, and there’s less bitterness, while all the fluffiness has been kept!”

“…Impossible.”

Rabbit 344: What the hell.

Rabbit 453: What the hell.

Rabbit 321: What the hell.

Rabbit 124: Modern > Past.

MiyakuroKita: You deserve a medal for stopping a meme from happening. 

…

“My goodness… the sourdough, the rye, and even the multigrain are all markedly better than usual! Is this the strength of a device singularly devoted towards creating toast!?”

“This makes no sense. It has no additional settings. No means of detecting the type of bread, thickness, or even change its heat. How is it doing this!?”

Rabbit 124: I’d laugh, but I’m also experiencing existential crisis. 

Rabbit 453: How tf is this doing better than my modern toaster!?

Rabbit 343: Monotasker POWERRRRRRR!

Rabbit 333: WITNESS THE STRENGTH OF MASTERY!

Rabbit 367: CHAD 50s TOASTER!

Rabbit 322: Wake up. They stopped making toasters like this to make a market! WAKE UP!

MiyakuroKita: Don’t get hurt for preaching the truth, 322.

…

“I am surprised. This is the best poptart I’ve ever had.”

“How… it’s… golden brown, the frosting has caramelized, and… it’s absolutely delicious.

Rabbit 124: …where the hell can I buy this toaster.

Rabbit 453: Need.

Rabbit 333: I bought it thirty minutes ago.

Rabbit 367: Based.

Rabbit 322: Based.

MiyakuroKita: Based.

…

“Alright everyone. This stream has gone on longer than expected, and Coda is too tired to continue, so we’ll be archiving this at this point. I’ll continue next week with Coda, and perhaps another guest, for the next device we were supposed to cover.”

“It’s not possible. It’s just metal and plastic. Nothing special, but it’s doing the perfect job every time. It’s not even dirty. How.”

“Come now, Coda. You can study the toaster later. You need to rest.”

“I do not need rest. I need answers.”

“Goodbye and goodnight everyone.”

Rabbit 322: Dat handholding action tho.

Rabbit 758: Lewd.

Rabbit 124: Do you think she calls him Da—*BANNED.*

Rabbit 323: She’s probably the Mo--*BANNED*

Rabbit 233: Both is goo—*BANNED*

Rabbit 212: It’s a slaughter! Have mercy Miyakuro! 

MiyakuroKita: No.

Rabbit 243: I just asked my boss and showed him the clips. If anyone wants a toaster, DM me, because they’re selling out fast.

MiyakuroKita: No corporate promotions in thread. That’s what I would say, if I didn’t own this entire service and can do whatever I want.

Rabbit 243: So, I’m not banned?

MiyakuroKita: No, you are. Make your last words count.

Rabbit 243: POCKET—*Banned*