AGG: Nephilim Side Stories: Akeno 1 (Patreon)

AGG: NSS: Akeno 1

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Commissioned by Wirdo

Word Count: 1534

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As with all those with the blood of the Fallen in their veins, I was different from many others. Nephilim, such as myself, each had certain preferences for particular peculiarities. My father, the one who sired me, had a taste for purity, therefore he sought a Shrine Maiden to slake his desires, despite its contradiction to his nature. The man who raised me, my Father, is enamored with mortals, and takes dozens as lovers, and his heart doesn’t falter no matter how old, wrinkled, and infirm they are. He mourns each and every loss he has like the first, yet the thought of wooing an immortal never occurs to him, and he reaches out for reasons as simple as “having a nice smile.”

Nephilim, of course, are more susceptible to the yearnings of our Fallen blood than our parents who fell from grace. They retain a semblance of the light given to them by God, while we are humans who hold only half that grace, but all of the newfound drives, desires, and demands of their unshackled nature. As such, from an early age, we are taught what is right, what is wrong, and what can be bent and accepted. Our lives, from the moment of our birth, are exercises in release and restraint. 

I have been the pinnacle of restraint all my life, yet being with Li Song strains my control over myself to its utter limit.

I am a creature of emotion. It is only natural for me to tease, pry, and admire beauty in all its forms. A sly whisper, some idle caress, and a few secret smiles once allowed me to retrain myself, purely due to the reactions I elicited from those who stared upon me with lust. Controlling them, by acknowledging and giving them nothing, satisfied me completely and utterly. It was the valve I used to keep myself hale, whole, and presentable, if a tad sly and deplorable to the gazes of prudes.

Until Li Song.

Upon first sight of him, I knew I gazed upon a being worthy of the title of Conflict. There, when he declared he would wipe from existence a boogeyman that plagued the world for decades, I knew I could no longer tease as I pleased. When I accompanied him from the bunker, saw what his power wrought across the world, I knew I could no longer caress another. As I watched him turn a whole dimension into a Hell to overwhelm, dominate, and destroy his enemies, I could no longer offer any smiles to those who gazed upon me wantonly.

Because, not only did I find myself in their place, but I received none of the acknowledgement they did.

His attention was wholly on the world, his current retinue, and his future. I was an afterthought, a concession to the Grigori for their support, and an acknowledged warrior. However, that was all that I was in his eyes. He spent time with me, until he was sure of my loyalty, and maintains only that. I am nothing more and nothing less than a valuable, trusted member of the Preservers, to a man who has expressed his interest in establishing a conglomerate of wives and lovers around himself.

I was being ignored…

And, I couldn’t bear the thought of granted the same pleasure to those I ignored, too.

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There are moments in the day when Li Song cannot pay attention to anyone, no matter his own preferences to ensure that he treats everyone forthrightly. Much to my utter, gleeful shame, I have memorized all those moments. And, with great glee, I pursue each and every one of them with ferocity. 

My favorite, however, is right when he awakens. 

There is a medley of things he plans to do each morning, before dawn breaks and all others awaken. He tends to himself in the comfort of his own room, but he observes training, nourishment, and even meditation outside of it. He is thoroughly unaccompanied, without his swords or his cute kitty, yet he spares me no mind. He has little time to spare in the moments between his routines, but the number of times he does spare time to even acknowledge me during the mornings can be counted on one hand. 

Therefore, it was my best opportunity to savor the pleasure of being no one to someone.

However, apparently, today was different.

Much to my displeasure.

“Ah, Himejima-san, good morning.” Typically, we’d simply walk the same hallway, and he wouldn’t spare me a word. I, putting my skills as a spy to good use, would pretend to be on my way as well. Thus, he’d have no reason to speak to me, as we’d merely be two faces walking the same path. Alas, today, I have found myself to be notable, despite my best efforts. How disappointing. “Would you like to have breakfast together?”

“Hmmm? Oh, I suppose we could, Song-kun.” Needless to say, I was more than capable of hiding my disappointment with a false smile. With a finger upon my lip, and appearing the very picture of demureness, I assented to his request. Still, though curiosity has killed the cat many times over, I couldn’t help but inquire as to the reason of my schedule’s sudden change. “But, are you not busy, Song-kun? I’m afraid that’ll I’ll take up a quite bit of your time.”

“It’s fine. I just want to make sure you’re fine. I understand that you’re always busy, but you deserve some rest every so often.” Me? Busy? If I were busy, then he’d be a tireless, emotionless machine of production. Though, I suppose I couldn’t fault him for falling to my wiles. I rested as I needed to, but I presented myself as busy whenever in his presence, as some lazy office worker would. “Sometimes, Himejima-san, everyone needs to take a break.”

“Ah, how gentlemanly of you, Song-kun. Then, how can I not accept?” Genteel and hypocritical, of course. This break he was forcing me to undertake was a break that he did not take himself. “Lead the way. Let’s break out fasts, together.”

Ah, I suppose I should be glad that I am not indulging my Fallen blood today. While sating my strange desire to be unnoticed by Li Song was necessary, overindulgence is far too easy for Nephilim. Perhaps, if I overindulge myself, I would see him beset with more troubles, so that he has no time to spend with myself. That would be the height of tragedy, given how a single hour of his time can be the difference between everyone’s survival… and no one’s.

I suppose, I adored his drive, his aspiration to stride forward as a bulwark for all, and focusing only on working.

Hmmm? Was my wish to be neglected? Or, did I simply wish to see him overwork himself? Ah, both notions had their appeal, but they both lacked a certain quality to what I truly wanted to be sated—

“Thank you for always taking time to keep me company while I’m alone.” The words make me stagger mid step. Enough to necessitate being caught by Li Song. However, in his quick rescue, he merely quintupled my sudden bout of weakness. What!? What was that he just said!? I felt as though my knees were nonexistent and my face was aflame. I had to hear to words again… to verify what I currently felt! “Ah. Did I seem like I didn’t notice? I apologize, Himejima-san, for being neglectful. I truly appreciate you making sure I don’t feel alone, despite all that I asked of you.”

Was that truly it!? That was my Fallen blood’s rampant desire!? It wasn’t to be ignored by him, or see him work himself to the bone, but make sure that he wasn’t alone!? Like some stoic, attending servant who held their master’s hand whilst alone together! Oh. Oh no. Please, no. Father would laugh at me forever, if what I would have to contend with all my life was that! Did I truly wish for nothing more than  to be regarded as steadfast, loyal, and silent pillar in Li Song’s life—

“Himejima-san? Himejima-san! Are you okay!” There was panic in Li Song’s voice as I blearily returned to consciousness. I did not find myself staring at the ceiling, but I did realize that I was holding my cheeks, there was a fading fatigue in my legs, and that my lips were curled into a smile. Had… had I… had I leapt into the air like a giddy schoolgirl at the mere thought!? “You suddenly leap into the air and gave a cry—

I considered my situation carefully and concisely. There was no denying my sudden reaction and the action that came thereafter. I have found myself in a situation that is completely and utterly untenable with a weakness that I did not fully understand, but shed new light on my father and mother’s relations, given how my Fallen blood was overwhelming my humanity.

Half of me might be a sadist, but the stronger, more influentional portion of my very being was…

There was only one response to my current situation.

“MyapologiesbutIhavetogonow!”

Without hesitation, I fled.