AGG: Laziest Sorcerer: Tadano's Trials (Patreon)

Tadano’s Trials

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Commissioned by Gopher54

Word Count: 1000

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Tadano Hitohito is an average sorcerer.

He is aware of the incongruity of the statement, but, when someone takes note of it, he politely offers facts, statistics, and charts to support his claim.

He begins with elementary and middle school. 

In Physical Education, hewas in the middle of his class. His seat is always at the center of the class. Every class he is in is even in number. His grades are the median. Not at the median. The median. He was not on the going home club, but neither was he in any important clubs, nor was he at the very bottom of the societal ladder by being in the Manga Research club. He was in the board game club. 

Being an average, regular male in the Coalition, he has a childhood friend. Being an average, regular male in the Coalition, said childhood friend took his virginity. Being an average, regular male in the Coalition, that childhood friend is a monstergirl. Being an average, regular male in the Coalition, he is expected to have, at least, two more monstergirls attached to him. Being an average, regular male in the Coalition, he stresses that they’ll be monstergirls, and not regular, human women. 

Those guys are outliers. 

Anyway, yes, most would agree that is completely and utterly normal and nothing special. 

Tadano would agree wholeheartedly, but wilt when people take note of him being a Sorcerer.

Because, quite simply, the explanation for that was much more difficult.

In his generation, Japan had a massive boost in human population, due to continued advancements in magic which allows monstergirls to give birth to human boys. While not proven, males born of monstergirls are theorized to have more magical power and ability than those born of two humans. Taking into account the growth rate reported by the Ministry, the theory of increased rate Sorcerers by Dr. Kihara, and the overall New Order, Amazon, and Ivory Empire population increases theorized by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, it is only to be expected that Tadano exists. 

At this point, however, Tadano’s audience loses interest, leaving him talking to thin air, because the average individual can’t be expected to convince anyone with such facts. 

Well, at least, he has a girlfriend he gets to visit on weekends.

Not now, however, since he currently on his Practical. 

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“Komi-san?”

“…”

“Komi-san?”

“…” 

“Komiii-saann?”

“…………..”

“Silence can be prolonged, too!?”

“!”

Tadano was about to launch an ambush. His one and only companion for his Practical, since an average Sorcerer isn’t expected to have a full party mere weeks in his first year, is a Kunoichi. However, much like everyone else in his life, the Kunoichi is strange. While Tadano is average, he has routinely found that everyone else around him is not. That fact extends to his Master, who prefers to shapeshift into a small, innocuous creature whenever possible, his girlfriend, who like to pretend to be a boy all the time, and, now, his partner for his Pratical, a Kunoichi who covered herself up from head-to-toe, refused to talk, hid whenever possible, and couldn’t meet anyone’s gaze. 

Even those who she took down!

Without a doubt, despite his aggressive normalcy, Tadano could only bemoan the fact that nothing about his life was remotely normal.

“Alright, Komi-san, we’re about to go. Are you ready?” 

It took Tadano a moment to read the atmosphere exuded by Komi. 

It wasn’t a special skill, or anything like it, but just his attention to detail. When one is normal, they had to be more careful and considerate, since the world was a harsh and dangerous place. He was sure that, Sorcerer or no, he’d be a father already, if not for his attention to detail. Anyway, for now, he used his completely average, unimportant ability for was to read his Kunoichi partner, as he found that she didn’t speak, even in their current circumstances.

There was a sharpness to her that wasn’t normally present. That usually meant that she was deeply focused on something cute, a rabbit or something, or ready to fight. Since no rabbits were in the immediate vicinity, Tadano assumed that the latter was true.

However, despite that “sharpness,” there was also an air of confidence. During combat, or when cooking, Komi remained silent, but she also, nigh effortlessly, put her talents to use. More than once, Tadano found himself yanked away from an Amazon’s net, while the offending monstergirl was swiftly put down by Lust-imbued daggers. Once again, since there was no evidence of Komi somehow cooking while they waited, Tadano was sure she was ready for battle. 

Peering closer, idly, Tadano was also sure that he could also see some hunger for—too deep! He’d gone too deep! Not good! Not good! He was taking damage before the battle even started! Mental damage! Not Lust damage! Mental! Yep!

Abruptly, as he began to panic while covered in fake foliage, Tadano felt a hand settle on top of his. 

Komi-san, upon noticing his sudden panic, had placed her hand on his. 

“~” Tadano’s panic dropped like a rock, as his keen eye told him that it wasn’t an act out of lust, but one that sought to calm him, ready him for battle, and assure him that he’ll be safe. When he took control of his breathing, and stopped his slight trashing, Komi gave him a huff of confidence. “!”

“…Thanks, Komi-san.” Even though Komi had misinterpreted the reason for his panic, and completely disregarded the thought that he could be attracted to, or have a chance with, her, Tadano thanked her regardless. “You’re right. I’m sure I can do my best, especially if I have you with me!”

Rising, then immediately launching a spell to attract the whole slave-caravan’s attention, Tadano failed to notice Komi’s full-faced blush, apparent even though her whole face, save for a strip around her eyes, was covered. 

Indeed, Tadano also had the average density of all the males in the worlds combined.