DD 202 Ch 22 (Patreon)

Chapter 22

I pulled Grandpa aside. “How much did you know about this job before you gave it to me?”

“Nothing.” He said with a wide grin. “That’s the fun part. We just pushed our baby bird right out of the nest and you flew all on your own. Though, you are a lucky bastard, so perhaps I shouldn’t have thought there was any other possibility.”

Sighing, I shook my head. “Tell Grandma Sakura I’m okay when you get back. The thing I need to talk to you about was the backer for this place. You see, SJS Financial Group’s adventurer debtors were being sent here. There were at least a few threads connecting this operation to them.” I paused, waiting for a reaction from Grandpa.

He only shrugged. “They already hate our guts. Sakura tried to shoot the old CEO. She just…” He mimed drawing a bow string, sighting down it and letting go. “Didn’t kill him though. One of his guards took the arrow; pretty sure he died. After that, I got her out of there and we killed a few more of their people along the way.” He scratched the back of his head.

I was sure it was more than a ‘few’. “Why did she attack him?”

“Eh?” Grandpa cleaned out his ear with his pinkie. “I forget. Doesn’t matter much; they are dirty as pigs. No, that’s doing pigs a disservice. The few times they tried to hire us and we did our research, we were mostly being asked to kill whistleblowers for companies they had a large financial stake in being successful. This one airline, they asked us to kill like half a dozen whistleblowers about how crappy it had become. Someone killed them still after we turned down the jobs.”

He rambled on, but I was relieved.

For a moment, I had been worried that my grandparents would be upset that I picked such a large opponent.

SJS was the second largest financial institution in the world. To say they had their fingers in a lot of pies was a gross understatement. It would be more accurate to say that they owned the bakery for the pies.

“Ah. I’m rambling.” Grandpa had a rare self-aware moment. “Right. Forget the SJS, Sakura would be a better person to talk to about that. Instead, we should get into the important matters.” He leaned forward to whisper to me.

I found myself leaning forward to hear what he said.

“I see you nabbed a Nekorian bride. Grandson, your luck is heaven defying. First, you stole the Harem Queen away from her harem and now this? I’m in awe. Then again, it’s only natural you have one quarter of my genes.”

What had I expected?

I slapped my face. “Grandpa. First off, there’s absolutely nothing between Heather and I. I thought we went over this.”

“On a first name basis, I see..” He nodded sagely to himself and smiled before winking at me. “I understand. ‘Nothing’ is going on.” He winked again.

I had to set the record straight before this coot went and said things he shouldn’t. The image of him telling Crimson that I was with Heather was quickly followed by Grandpa turning to a smear, only for myself to follow a moment later. “There is nothing.” I told him, knowing how to get his brain on a slightly different topic. “However, Felin and I are getting much closer.”

“Ah. Young love.” He pulled out a notebook. “There are several magazines that I’ve acquired on the subject of Nekorian's. Would you be able to tell me if some of these things are true?”

By ‘magazines’, he meant smut comics. I’d ask why there were Nekorian topics, but then again, Rule 34 likely existed in every reality that contained humans. Actually, I bet Elves still followed Rule 34.

“No.” I deadpanned.

“Ah. So, do they have spines down there that males use to lock in?” Grandpa asked eagerly.

“No. Females have no spines.” I sighed. “Alright, I’m going to check on Yui.” Using his rather dangerous lover as a shield, I hurried away as he muttered to himself and scribbled on the notepad.

“Grandson. Come to see me work?” Yui had the CID disassembled and two wires soldered onto the circuit inside as she worked.

“Using you as a shield so Grandpa stops asking stupid questions.” I watched as he disappeared from where he’d been standing and reappeared next to Felin with his notepad in hand.

The Nekorian jumped ten feet into the air, her hair standing on end as Grandpa surprised her.

Yui was watching as well. “I see that’s going just as well as you thought it would, right?” She chuckled before going back to work.

“I had no idea you were skilled at this.” I watched her.

“It’s fun to dismantle things. Besides, sometimes we can’t solve everything by killing people. Well, we probably could if we killed enough, but the point is there is often an easier path.” She mumbled absently before plugging the bricked CID into her own. “And…” She pressed a button.

The other CID didn’t do more than blink, but suddenly her inventory was being flooded with items from the other.

“Perfect.” She whistled as it kept on filling up.

“They stored quite a bit of information on this thing.” Hemi commented on her work. “Seems they were tracking the conversations from their nobles. They weren’t smart enough or they were negligent enough to not keep their own communications from being recorded.”

I perked up at that information. “We have all of their communications?”

“From their CIDs down here. This thing only has a range of the safe zone. It’s like two decades old UG technology. I almost couldn’t find the right dongles to connect it together.” Hemi glanced at Yui’s soldering mess of wires. “Some of us need to be a little more delicate to preserve what’s on this.”

“I stripped its inventory and messages.” Yui rolled her eyes and tossed the CID behind her. “Ken, you’d better get back. Leave the lovely warlock to take us home.”

“We’ll make sure your grandfather doesn’t cause her any problems.” Hemi added.

I glanced at Felin trying to escape Grandpa and nodded. “Des, I’m going to the safe zone above the raid. Stay here and catch up with us when they are done.”

“Best not take any of these CIDs.” Hemi added. “No idea what they are programmed with in terms of tracking or self-destructive properties. I’ll send Ami with everything later.”

I dumped my load, putting Brandon and Trish’s CIDs to the side. “Also, I have this photo.” I sent her a grizzly image after I’d finished with the four corpses elsewhere in the safe zone. “The old man needs an ID. Trish said she was a fixer for SJS. Probably not directly employed, but maybe that’ll help you find her.”

“Good.” Hemi nodded and continued working.

I glanced at Des who confirmed that she had heard what they said.  Then I stripped out of my yorai, checking to make sure I was clear of any blood.

Charlotte, Felin and Fayeth did the same. As for Bun-bun, he desperately needed a bath. That would probably be our first project.

“One portal for Ken to go pretend he was nowhere near these dead people.” Des winked and waved it open to a space on the 31st floor within view of the safe zone entrance.

Felin linked arms with me and skipped through, her tail possessively curling around my thigh. “I took you hunting, and now you took me hunting. Your hunting was very fun.” She had a giant smile, showing off her fangs.

Bun-bun was held out in front of Charlotte. She refused to let him on her head at present.

“We will get you a bath.” Charlotte promised.

Bun-bun chittered.

“He wants payment.” Charlotte translated.

“I gave you three carrots.”

The next complaint I didn’t even need translated. It was likely some variant of ‘that was for the ride’.

“Uh huh. Well, too bad you didn’t get in writing.” I teased the rabbit.

Charlotte groaned as he continued. “He’s promising you that next time he’ll wait until we can stop to hammer out the contract if you want to bethat way.”

“Greedy rabbit already made me bargain.” I glared at the rabbit in question as we went up the stairs to the 30th floor safe zone.

He had a smug smile on his little rabbit face.

I reached over and took him from Charlotte’s arms. “Another three carrots and you don’t make bathing you an absolute pain.”

He thought about the deal for a second before nodding sharply.

“Great, let's go to the bar so we can be visible and we’ll make you a soapy bucket.” I handed him back to Charlotte.

He hung limp in her hands, gasping before chittering angrily at me.

“He says it wasn’t polite to trick him. A rabbit of his… dignity… should not be bathing in public.” Charlotte clearly did not include everything the rabbit said as he was still going.

“We have to be in public. Look, maybe we can make a little curtain for you. It’ll certainly be something memorable. Anyone there would vouch for our alibi.” I explained.

Bun-bun deflated and made a sad noise at Charlotte.

“He says for two more carrots and a lot of soap in his bath, he’ll do it. Stupid rabbit has expensive taste for his soap.”

The ‘pittiful’ rabbit glanced furtively at the two of us.

I knew he was putting on a show, yet at the same time he probably earned all of those carrots.

“Fine. I’ll even chip in another two magical carrots as a bonus you do a good job. As for the soap, if you’re running out, it’s on the Nagato Clan for the next batch.” I tried the carrot instead of the stick.

Charlotte chuckled darkly. “Remember you said that when I send you the bill.”

Bun-bun was nodding enthusiastically.

“You all treat this rabbit very well. Are we fattening it up for a hunt?” Felin asked playfully, yet the playfulness did not register with Bun-bun as she flashed her fangs.

He let out a little rabbit scream as we stepped into the safe zone.

Heads turned our direction.

I waved at the strangers all staring at us. “Sorry, teasing our druid’s pet. He’s a noisy one. Come on Bun-bun.”

He chittered and Charlotte translated. “You said you wanted attention and to be memorable.” The rabbit chuckled at me.

“Poor Charlotte. Maybe you should take her ability to talk to Bun-bun next time you are with her?” Fayeth offered. “That way the two of you can go at it directly rather than involving her.”

Bun-bun and I stared at each other for a moment before the rabbit shook his head vehemently and I had to agree, I didn’t want to hear what he was really saying.

Charlotte was absolutely softening his language the entire time. We both knew that.

If I could hear him, then I’d probably end up strangling him.

Bun-bun hopped down and led the group towards the bar, apparently trying to disengage with the conversation as a whole.

“Are we really bathing him at the bar?” Charlotte asked.

“Why not? He’s filthy. After he got that health potion on him he picked up every spec of dirt and dust from the debris that he possibly could.” Fayeth spoke first. “The rabbit could use a little humility.” She rolled her eyes as he jumped into the bar, leaving behind a trail of little goopy red paw prints.

“I’ll bet twenty ren that he’s going to make a show of it despite wanting to be ‘modest’.” I scoffed.

“Ken’s right. That rabbit will soak up all the attention.” Felin agreed. “Which is fine. That’s what we wanted.”

I pushed in the door for the bar only to be greeted with Bun-bun leaning back against a chair at the bar with a beer in front of him. “Bartender, he’s underage.” I pointed at the rabbit.

“We don’t card in the dungeon. You're strong enough to be here? Good enough for me.” He shrugged and went back to cleaning a mug.

The room was watching Bun-bun. The rabbit was an oddity.

Even when people had pets from the dungeon, they were normally kept in people’s CIDs. Mostly because they were physically large. Bears, dinosaurs or much worse.

Bun-bun belched as he put down his empty beer.

I decided to one up him and put down a wooden bucket that was big enough to be a wash basin for him on one of the seats.

He didn’t protest, hopping it in as Charlotte pulled out a gold bottle of soap and poured out a generous amount for him.

The rabbit huffed and chittered at Charlotte like she was his servant waving a paw back and forth.

Marin from Trusk was next to us in an instant. “Yes, master rabbit.” She excitedly started massaging soap into his fur.

I did a double take. “Where did you come from?”

“How could I sit still when there is such a cute animal in front of me!” She squealed and continued to suds the now very pampered rabbit.

Bun-bun was leaning against the edge of the wash basin, melting into the bubbles forming on the surface. At least he was happy.

I took in the bar at large and all three classes were well represented.

Machen waved at me from among his growing harem. There were eight of them around him now. Good for him; he looked happy.

Prince Albar was present too. His class seemed to be entirely focused on him.

“Ah. This is a post-hunt ritual?” Felin sat at the bar next to me ignoring Bun-bun’s antics.

The distraction from the prince was welcome. “Sort of.” I guess going out to eat was something of a common occurrence after a challenging battle. “What can I get you to drink? Normally people get something alcoholic.”

“Do they have alcoholic cream?”

I almost said no before pausing. “Uh. Do you happen to have any Irish cream liquor?”

“A shot?” The bartender asked.

“Best to start there. One for her, and I’ll do the darkest beer you have and…” I trailed off looking at the others in my party.

“I’ll do the summer shandy.” Fayeth ordered hers.

“Just the pilsner for me.” Charlotte added.

Felin’s tail twitched back and forth playfully as she watched the bartender go through the bottles for her drink. “What is Irish cream? Is it better than normal cream?”

“We’ll just have to find out.” I said as the bartender served her a shot.

She frowned at the size of the cup, lifting it up to smell before downing it in one go. “Whew.” Her eyes went wide. “That’s good. Fayeth, why don’t you cook with this stuff?”

“It’s not for cooking.”

“Then you just aren’t creative enough.” Felin slid the empty shot glass back at the bartender. “I’ll take a glass that size.” She pointed to the pint glass he was holding.

“Of Irish Cream?” He asked, making sure he got the order right.

“Yeah.” Felin nodded rapidly. “Don’t worry, he’s paying.” She poked me. “You can take it out of my cut of the hunt. We probably bagged quite a bit.”

The bartender shrugged it off and poured our beers before getting her glass ready.

“Uh oh.” Fayeth watched as Felin greedily took the pint with wiggling fingers. “I think we just unlocked a new vice for her.”

“Is it new if it is adjacent to her love of cream?” I asked.

“That’s a good question.” Fayeth was distracted though as Felin chugged the entire pint of Irish cream liquor in a single go. “Well, it’s about to be a new problem if she keeps drinking like that.”

Felin slid the glass back to the bartender who went back and opened a new bottle.

“We are here to be seen.” Fayeth clinked her glass against mine. “What says ‘I was here’ better than a pampered rabbit and drunken Nekorian?”

“I’m not drunk.” Felin frowned. “It’s just a little alcohol in the cream. This is nothing compared to Nekorian wine.”

I shrugged. She was a grown adult and could make her own decisions. And I had no idea what her metabolism could tolerate.

There was a commotion behind me. Shouting broke out and I turned to see Prince Albar pushing his classmates aside to get out of the booth like he had somewhere very important to be all of a sudden.

“Sorry Bun-bun.” I said before getting out of my chair and faking a stumble as I knocked over Bun-bun’s bath, spilling soapy water in Prince Albar’s path and getting Marin’s gauzy white outfit soaked in the process.

She gasped at the water. “It’s like episode fifteen of Wet Wonders.”

I coughed because everybody could now see right through her outfit.

Prince Albar’s head shifted to watch too, right before he slipped on the soapy water and his feet flew out from under him.

“My bad.” I said as his head made an audible thwack against the ground. “Eh. It’s the prince. You’ll be fine. You have plenty of stats.” I treated it like it was nothing. “Hey Bun-bun, I owe you some new bath water.”

“You could sell it!” Marin gasped, not at all concerned that her body was on show for everyone in the bar, and most people were looking.

But Machen was not looking, because one of his ladies had her hands over his eyes and scowled at Marin as if she was trying to set fire to the woman with looks alone.

“You fucking bastard.” Prince Albar tried to get up and I stumbled, slipping slightly and kicked the arm that all of his weight was on.

He face planted back into the puddle with a strangled scream.

“My bad. I was just trying to help.” I said.

“Peasants shouldn’t dare help someone like the prince. He’s more capable than twenty of you combined.” One of his sycophants came up to help him.

Prince Albar thrashed as his classmate tried to help.

Felin, who appeared to now be on her third glass, stuck her tongue out and summoned a harsh breeze with a flick of her fingers.

The Prince who was almost to his feet was knocked down with his classmate again.

“Oh. I get it. It’s like mud wrestling, but with soap and two guys.” I cheered loud enough for the bar to hear.

Marin gasped. “It’s like an episode of my favorite BL comic!”

That woman needed to touch grass. Not everything has to be a reference to other content.

Either way, her commentary was adding fuel to the fire, and the Prince looked up at me, his eyes spitting fire. “I’m going to end you.”

AN - You get weekend chapters, but this weekend is a 4 day weekend and will probably eat up my buffer chapters. Getting good word counts during the week though.