LSRO: Chapter 87 - Dissarray (Patreon)

Hey there lovelies

Still got a lot of sickness in the house, but - here's today's chapter! Hope you like it

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Chapter 87

Disarray

Quinn opened her eyes, not in that sudden awakening sort of way where you sit bolt upright, but in that languidly opening the eyes because you're still super tired. She felt as though she was still half in a dream. There were stars above her, flickering like fairy lights or, well, like stars. She wasn't exactly sure why though... She knew she hadn't gone to sleep outside.

The lights had a blue tint, and it tugged at something in a memory. Her mind was still valiantly trying to go back to sleep and coaxing her brain to do the same. But that was when she realized she'd been seeing stars the entire time she was asleep.

Different stars, odd constellations. Given that she was no longer on Earth, that made complete and utter sense, but for some obscure reason, it had escaped her for the last two minutes -- ever since she'd woken up.

Her head felt foggy, like someone had grabbed handfuls of cotton wool, soaked them in water, and shoved them inside her ears, maybe in place of her brain. Was her brain okay? There were so many weird sensations running through her.

She didn't actually feel like she'd slept, but she knew that she had. She struggled to sit up. When she did, and the entire world went the right way up, dizziness flooded through her system.

Quinn clutched at her head as all the information came rushing back to her.

Aradie flew down to sit on her shoulder, a soft hoot by way of greeting, to ask how Quinn was.

That was the whole thing, really. Quinn wanted to answer that question, but she had no idea how she currently was. Furthermore, she had no idea why she didn't know how she felt. She wiggled her toes, and wiggled her legs, jiggled her arms, and realized that everything was still intact.

There was a strange lingering sensation in her body like she'd just gotten over pins and needles or something.

Quinn looked around again. She was indeed at the core, on the bed the Library made specifically for letting her. Apart from Aradie and herself, only the Core trunk was there.

She felt rested, and yet still tired, disoriented, and somehow yet oddly connected to everything around her right now, including Aradie. There was something more there now than there had been. Like she could reach out and pluck it from one of the feathers. There were deeper sensations than images or broken words that she interpreted from her owl -- a deeper connection now, something much more solid and emotional.

And not just to Aradie, but to the entire Library -- all an extension of herself.

Quinn peered around again, and realized that she had at some stage dropped the bag of food that she'd brought down with her. Aradie obliged to her thought, instantaneously, by swooping down to pick it up and deposit it back on Quinn's lap.

You should really eat that second treat right now. It will help you regain some of your equilibrium. The Library's voice almost sounded hesitant, like it wasn't entirely sure it should be speaking to her yet, or maybe that it wasn't entirely sure that it was welcome to speak to her.

Quinn frowned. There was something that she should know. Something she'd just experienced but it was just out of her reach.

"Yes," Quinn said, belatedly registering the Library's words. She reached into the bag and pulled out a pastry that looked suspiciously like an apple turnover. As she munched on the delicious delicacy, Quinn looked around, surprised at how much brighter it seemed down here.

But not a brightness that emanated from the lights above her, nor from the core right next to her, but more simply brighter. It was her eyes. Somehow her vision had changed ever so slightly.

She munched another bite of the pastry, thinking that she was going to have to thank Cook as she slowly chewed through it, because she could feel the energy rushing back into her body, filling her back up to where she should have been. She'd checked her energy levels, but they were full.

1395/1395

That wasn't the problem. She'd rested and replenished her energy and mana levels. She was eating too, which took away some of the tiredness.

"You know, this is really good," she said, as she popped the last bite and crumpled up the paper. A sliver of resentment passed through her connection with Aradie, and she made a mental note to herself to give the owl a taste next time.

How do you feel? The Library asked that same hesitance from earlier in its tone.

It was very odd behavior on behalf of the Library, something Quinn hadn't witnessed yet. She wanted to know more about why, but her brain kept darting here and there and not focusing well.

"I think I'm feeling okay," Quinn said. "I'm just a little disoriented. And like you said, my equilibrium is pretty much gone. I'm not entirely sure why, but I feel like I should know."

That's all part of it, Quinn, the Library said. It's a long process. It'll take a few days for it to sink in. It took almost three days to experience it.

"What, already? More than two days? It felt like I'd only just closed my eyes." Quinn still couldn't grasp the passage of time. Her mind was still sorting through mud.

Oh no, it definitely took a couple of days.

"I have to go. I..." Quinn shook her cotton wool head. "Milaro will be here soon, we have to question the... Don't we have to question somebody?"

It's okay, Quinn, you've still got time. We're not quite ready to question them yet. You need to re-synchronize yourself first so all the information flows together in the way that it should. I imagine you're rather discombobulated at the moment.

"That's a good word for it..." Quinn said absently, racking her brains for the strand of something she could feel tugging at her memory, but couldn't quite grasp.

Oh, how she hated this fragmented sensation.

"How is our patient feeling?" Suddenly, Milaro was there, standing in front of Quinn.

She blinked up at him, her mind a whirl of confusion. "Did I black out?" she asked, still confused.

"No, I just came down to see you right at this moment." He smiled, in that kindly grandfather way that had come to feel like safety.

"But I'm sure you were already here, right?" she said, knowing at the same time that it wasn't quite right. And yet, she scrunched up her face. "Ah, this is woeful. I can't stand this feeling."

"Well, tell me, how do you feel?" Milaro asked, echoing the Library's hesitance in his tone. Quinn liked that even less. She felt like there was something just beyond her reach, maybe. She sighed.

"Look, it's not that I have any comparison, but I think the synchronization went well." Except as soon as she said the words, Quinn regretted it.

Pain ripped through her whole body, starting in her mind like an arc of what being struck by lightning probably felt like. She could hear the scream torn from her throat that went hoarse seconds into the sound. It sounded so far away and yet echoed through her skull at the same time. Her back arched, her head pounded, and she fell against the bed, trying to heave in breaths that wouldn't come. She could feel her body twitching.

At the same time, her mind went completely blank.

Until images began to assault it.

They were memories. Of her and her parents. They weren't parents. They were bodyguards. They were caretakers. And Quinn? Quinn was not normal. She didn't know why. And then, the caretakers were gone, and the foster system took her in.

She'd been lucky, she knew all about that. But there was always something in the back of her mind, telling her how to be. How to pass as a normal kid. How to avoid being detected. And how to keep to herself. She didn't know where those thoughts came from. Only that they were there.

Throughout school, the part-time work she'd had, the different homes she'd gone through. Everything mushed together into pure, instinctive survival mode.

On the day she was choosing her major something inside her flicked a switch. That she had to choose what it was she wanted to do. What she would be best at. What would be the greatest fit for her abilities?

Only now she realized that compunction didn't mean academic. It meant something entirely different. That a part of her was missing, and just needed to slot back into that part of herself it belonged to.

The Library felt right.

Everything about it fit.

From the first moment she'd been dragged here. Even though she'd ended up in an entirely different universe, she hadn't questioned much.

Well, not too much anyway.

Something hazy came back to her, grazing her thoughts, tickling her memories.

Just recently. Just now. While she'd been asleep. She had senses she didn't even realize she possessed. Things that sat with her, observed for her. An outer element to herself. She knew, instinctively, that Milaro had been there to talk to her, to soothe her through her synchronization. That familiar voice, with its calming properties and that safety element.

Her mind seized on the fact that he'd been there, that he'd stuck with her, guided her. The Library was a being as far as Quinn had determined so far, but they seemed so far removed from the mortal coil. Not Milaro - he was solid, someone to lean on.

Now she had something to focus on instead of the pain. It helped her ignore the spasms. As everything she'd achieved through synchronization began to level out.

Flashes of civilization before it existed flitted through her mind, right through modern societies, to ancient and then futuristic ones. So many different worlds, different stages. All these different species and planets and homes.

Created. Destroyed. Evolving. Thriving.

And then, a sense of a time before time. When there were only a few. A few who had made choices that the rest of the universe would depend upon for eons.

Just as suddenly as it began, the pain stopped completely.

Quinn was up and off the bed within a fraction of a second. She felt faster. More in tune with everything around her. There was information streaming into her mind in such a way that it was disorientating. Dizzying. But at the same time, exhilarating.

Everything around her felt vibrant, alive, humming with a whole sense of magic beyond the finger waggling. She couldn't keep the wonderment from her voice. "What? What did you do?"

Milaro cleared his throat. "What do you mean?"

"What did you do in my mind when I was out? Did you…" Quinn closed her eyes briefly examining herself. "Thank you. Thank you. There's no remnants. Now I'm completely connected to the Library."

She paused, able to run through everything in her mind in such a short order, in such a quick fashion. All of the books she'd read, everything made sense. Ways to harness the energy she now knew instinctively how to control.

She even realized now that she didn't even need to utter an activation word. All she needed was a simple thought. Better for her to picture what she wanted really.

"Quinn..." Milaro's words seemed distant as he spoke. "Are you okay? You could be experiencing overload..."

"It's… it's okay." She felt like she was above everything, looking down on a puzzle that was herself finally seeing all of the pieces fall into place. She wasn't angry at the Library, or Malakai, or Milaro, or Miyago, whoever he was. As everything clicked into place, she finally truly felt like she belonged.

Even if she didn't fully understand the hows and whys. This, right here, was why she'd felt so out of place her entire life leading up to now.

Quinn looked at her hands and realized they were glowing with a blue-gold tint. And she tamped down on it, taking in a deep breath, able to grab onto an equilibrium and just relax. The room around her became still, the blue lights up above from the core blinking in synchronization with her breathing.

Or, that's how it felt at least.

She turned to Milaro. "Thank you, for being here to guide me through this. You've been so kind ever since I got here."

"Are you...?" It was like he didn't know what to ask.

"Still confused?" Quinn said with a laugh. "Probably more so. But now I feel like I really am the Librarian. There was something missing before we did this, a piece of the puzzle, a link in the chain. Pick your metaphor."

I've never synchronized with someone who matches my affinity resonance completely. The Library's voice hummed at the same frequency as Quinn's thoughts. It melded together, like the perfect chord.

"Funny that." Quinn winked at the Library. "Me neither."

Milaro actually laughed, and the sound was tinged with relief.

Quinn refused to overanalyze it. There was so much information floating around in her mind right then. So much that just made her entire life make sense. But she couldn't control any of that. All she could control was what lay in front of them. Whatever else there had been, she could process that later. She cleared her throat. "I have to ask you some questions, and I really hope you'll answer them."

"Anything," Milaro said, even though she could tell there was some reluctance in his tone, he continued. "within reason, within my power."

She held up her arms, blue and gold entwined strands still lighting up underneath her skin. "Show me how to truly harness the powers of the Librarian."

All the tension seemed to flow out of Milaro as he grinned in response. "I thought you'd never ask."

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WEEEEEE 

She's not fully powered yet but she's damn well getting there.

SO EXCITED FOR NEXT BITS

Much love

KT