Neo) Pigeon Ass (Patreon)

“Neo, where did you go!?” Princess Feng had been searching all over for her. She had no idea where this walking accident had run off to. She looked at Neo, who was snacking on something, and asked: “Wait, what is that!?”

“This?” Neo pointed at what looked to be some kind of half-eaten flower. But it was glowing in all kinds of different colors. “Not sure. Some kid on a flying sword had it in his hand, so I jumped up and took it from him. It tastes pretty good. It’s like eating candy.”

“You! That! That is a heavenly ten-colored phoenix flower! It is one of the rarest herbs and can cost tens of millions of spirit stones! And you are just eating it like it is candy!?” Normally, if a cultivator ate such a thing, they would explode! It was highly condensed with elemental spiritual qi. It was not something an ordinary person could eat. Even demonic beasts do not eat it!

“Hmm? It’s just candy.” Neo did not see the big deal. She had only noticed it since it smelt sweet. She never expected the young man who was holding it not to want to give it up. Luckily she was much faster, stronger, and better looking than the young man so she won. The young man even cried after being smashed into the ground.

Princess Feng’s heart ached as she watched a national treasure end up in Neo’s stomach. The girl did not seem to understand what it was she had just eaten! Standing there feeling very much defeated, she suddenly heard a yell from the sky. “Elder Di! It was that girl there!”

“Ah! It’s the crybaby from before.” Neo’s words made the once noisy crowd suddenly go quiet. They all looked at Neo as if she were a dead woman.

“You! Just because you snaked attack me doesn’t give you the right to slander others!” The young man’s face was red in both embarrassment and anger. He had never been so embarrassed in all his life. He had cried in front of so many!

“Enough!” Elder Di stood in the sky and cast his gaze down on Neo. “Little girl, hand over the heavenly ten-colored phoenix flower, and we can forget all of this.”

“Hand over the what? A two-colored pigeon’s ass?” Neo was confused. She did not know what a two-colored pigeon’s ass was.

“I said the heavenly ten-colored phoenix flower! Where the hell did you get a pigeon’s ass from!?” Elder Di felt like something was wrong with this girl!

“What!? You didn’t say pigeons ass!? Well, that is a new one. I could have sworn you said crybaby needs to kiss a sixteen-colored pigeon’s ass in order to heal crybaby’s thingy. Anyway, it will be my turn soon, so I need to go.” Neo answered firmly as if what she said made any sense at all before sticking her hands in her pocket and walking away. Princess Feng quickly followed behind her.

Elder Di, who had still been standing there, was at a complete loss as to what had just happened. He could have sworn he had told the little girl to hand over the flower, but somehow, they ended up talking about pigeon ass. He turned to look for the little girl but saw she was nowhere to be found! “Damnit! Where did she go!?”

“Elder Di! I think she is here to take the test. We can find her later.” The young man, dubbed crybaby, knew it was not good to make a disturbance at the entrance tests.

“Fine!” Elder Di knew he had no choice but to give up for now. “When the test is over, find the little bitch and bring her to me.”

“Understood, Elder Di.” Crybaby nodded his head. He had to suck up to this elder in order to become his disciple. Only then would he be able to up his cultivation faster.

“Good. See it gets done otherwise, I will deal with you instead.” Elder Di gave a snort and then left, leaving Crybaby there shivering. He knew he could not fail! If he did, Elder Di would deal with him out of anger!

As for Neo, who had no idea she had just made an enemy, she walked over to the first testing station. There was a young woman sitting at the table with a round crystal in front of her.  “Name?”

“Neo,” Neo replied. She was very curious about the crystal. But just before she reached out to touch it, the girl’s voice suddenly spoke up. “You passed. Go to the next test.”

Neo pursed her lips and went to walk away but stopped and was about to flick the crystal with her finger when Princess Feng grabbed her hand. “Neo, please behave!”

Neo looked at the crystal reluctantly. She couldn’t help but want to shatter it! It looked fo fragile and weak! But when she saw Princess Fengh’s stern expression, she sighed and stepped towards the next table. She did not dare to anger the princess at this time. Not until she got to take a bath with her.

With the spiritual root test out of the way, Neo walked over to the table that was meant for the spirit power test. A young girl around her age stood in front of her and placed her hand on a tall crystal pillar. It began to light up from the bottom, starting with white, before turning to yellow, then red, then green, to blue, before settling at Purple.