Chapter 996 The Battle for the High Tower (Thirty) (Patreon)

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Batman recalled the initial question that had plagued him: Was there something wrong with him?

Emerging from his contemplative haze, Batman glanced at Schiller and asked, "...Do you think there's something wrong with me?"

Schiller, mid-meal, froze in place. Slowly turning his head to look at Batman, his fork suspended in midair, neither lifting nor lowering, he remained frozen.

Batman's question genuinely puzzled Schiller, leaving him unsure how to respond. Like a concerned parent of a bullied child feigning nonchalance, he continued eating and asked, "Did someone say something to you?"

Schiller's reaction befuddled Batman, who narrowed his eyes. As Schiller repeatedly cut through the meat on his plate, he offered a vague response, "You're fine, we're similar."

"It seems I really am unwell," Batman stated bluntly. Schiller's movements faltered momentarily as he replied, "With other students, I might have them describe their symptoms, but with you, I don't hold much hope."

Setting down his utensils, Schiller wiped his mouth with a napkin and addressed Batman, "Though I hold a psychologist's license, I've never formally diagnosed you because I genuinely worry. After I diagnose you, you'll question me about the root meanings of words."

Batman detected the sarcasm in Schiller's tone. Before he could respond, Schiller raised a hand to silence him, then rubbed his forehead and said, "Wait, this won't do. As a doctor, I need to be patient with my patients..."

"Alright, as a licensed psychologist, you can trust my professional judgment. If you have time now, you can listen to my advice..."

To Schiller's surprise, Batman straightened his back and leaned back in his chair, adopting a receptive posture. Schiller shook his head and said, "You need to relax a bit. Perfect timing, the new barbecue has arrived. We can chat while we eat..."

With that, he directed Demon to place some barbecue on Batman's plate. Batman picked up his utensils but showed no inclination to eat. He kept his eyes fixed on Schiller, nervously resembling students awaiting their exam papers in a classroom.

"Don't be nervous; I'm a psychologist, not about to give you a death sentence. In fact, I'm glad to diagnose you now. If it were four years ago, just the pathological analysis would've given me wrist cramps."

Schiller's tone was notably more relaxed than usual, exuding an inner tranquility and ease. He continued, "If you showed no abnormalities in childhood and were never diagnosed, then you might not be on the spectrum. That is to say, you're different from me; you don't have autism."

"Physically sound from birth, but with post-traumatic stress disorder looming large. Your symptoms have been evident, particularly the re-experiencing type. For years, you've been unable to shake off the shadow of alleyway scenes."

"Next is delusional disorder. You're likely familiar with the definitions, but it's intertwined with the psychological stimuli you experienced initially and subsequent symptom manifestations."

Schiller lightly tapped the plate with his fork. "After the psychological stimuli, you spent a long time in isolation, during which you had many urgent matters to deal with, namely, your revenge plan."

"However, due to your young age at the time, your actions were limited, and your interactions were few. Prolonged immersion in virtual fantasies can lead to a certain cognitive inertia, thus triggering subsequent delusional disorders."

"In delusional disorder, I believe you fall between persecutory and grandiose types."

"On one hand, you overestimate others' malevolence, filled with inexplicable anxieties about extremely negative events unlikely to occur in reality."

"On the other hand, you overestimate your own abilities, believing yourself to be energetic, sharp-witted, and invincible."

"Of course, to some extent, your worries and confidence are justified. However, if they exceed a certain threshold and continue to develop, they may lead to brain and neurological deterioration, something you wouldn't want to see."

"Of course, there's also generalized anxiety disorder, which we share." At this, Batman raised an eyebrow, and Schiller preemptively continued, "You think anxiety means rapid heartbeat, nervousness, and sweating, but your most prominent symptom is heightened alertness, manifested as sensitivity to external stimuli and easily startled reactions."

"Because of your naturally high intelligence, your logical thinking module suppresses emotions, resulting in unclear emotional expression, but it still exists."

"These manifestations may also be attributed to depersonalization-derealization disorder, an excessive focus on the surrounding environment."

In simple terms, due to delusional disorder, you often feel that malignant events, which lack conditions to occur, might happen at any moment. This triggers your anxiety disorder, heightening your vigilance. Meanwhile, symptoms stemming from depersonalization-derealization disorder lead you to excessively focus on your surroundings. You notice every little movement and question the reality of your environment, fueling persecutory delusions, creating a loop...

At the same time, symptoms of grandiose delusions make you believe you have enough capability to handle the extreme events in your fantasies. Thus, you delve deep into contemplating methods to deal with such events.

Prolonged dwelling on these thoughts can lead to cognitive inertia and mental deviation, exacerbating the symptoms.

After listening, Batman remained silent for a while before saying, "My willpower has been tested by the Green Lantern ring. Of course, that's not the only benchmark, but I believe my willpower exceeds that of ordinary people..."

"This brings us back to the cognitive theory that interests you most," Schiller patiently responded. "If your cognition remains erroneous, then stronger willpower would actually accelerate symptom deterioration."

"I feel like I can't experience certain emotions," Batman described his symptoms as accurately as possible. "My rationality tells me I should be happy or sad, but I don't feel anything similar. It's like a car without an engine..."

Schiller paused, seeming to contemplate, then said, "Then I retract my earlier conclusion. You may indeed have some spectrum characteristics, but perhaps your exceptionally high intelligence compensates for the effects of similar symptoms, hence why they weren't detected earlier."

In essence, your rationality allows you to deduce the emotions others should be experiencing and what emotions you should be feeling, enabling you to portray these emotions through acting, right?

Batman recalled and said, "When I was young, my parents encouraged me to play with other children. I thought I should be their leader, so I acted excited during the chase, and happy after victory, but in reality, I felt nothing."

"It seems to be the case," Schiller nodded. "I'm similar, but the difference is that my own emotions are weak, yet I'm extremely sensitive to others' emotions, which is why I can be a psychologist."

"If you're already adept at acting, then there's no urgent need to treat autism, because the process of treating autism is teaching you how to play the role of a normal person. You've already achieved that and done it well, so it's not an immediate issue to deal with."

"I suggest you first deal with the delusional disorder that causes your long-term nervousness and abnormal behavior, otherwise, it may interfere with your emotional expression," Schiller looked at Batman. "Being preoccupied with illusions and neglecting reality might not be a concern when you have no attachments, but are you truly without attachments?"

"Setting aside the various practical issues facing Gotham's salvation, the education of Aisha and Dick is an insurmountable challenge."

"You can't always dwell on the idea that someday someone might harm them, or they might encounter trouble in the future, and then deduce what you need to teach them based on the results of your delusions."

"True education should focus on the present. What do they need now? What are they expressing? What emotions are they conveying? Then provide feedback based on these emotions and behaviors to help them develop a stable personality."

"If you only focus on their future and don't provide any feedback on the emotions they're currently experiencing, it can easily lead to personality defects. No matter how many techniques you teach them to deal with danger, it will ultimately be futile due to irrational decisions caused by personality defects."

After hearing these words, Batman remained silent for a long time. He remembered his parents, especially his mother.

Thomas occasionally talked to him about the future, encouraging him to study hard, acquire various survival skills, and become an outstanding person. However, Martha hardly ever discussed these matters with him, only responding to his every small action.

Batman didn't know whether he missed these two people or the responses and understanding he could receive from every eye contact, expression, and action before those two gunshots.

After that, there was nothing.

To some extent, Batman was not understood, but that didn't mean his actions, which seemed to be driven by his inability to be understood by ordinary people, weren't understood by his friends.

Gordon understood his sense of justice, Harvey understood his philosophies, Alfred understood his hatred, but human understanding wasn't only about these grand aspects. The subtle emotional feedback was the most important source of a sense of security.

Batman didn't respond to these diagnoses, as if he tacitly accepted them. But Schiller felt it was a good start because the most significant manifestation of delusional disorder is lack of self-awareness. If he didn't refute it, it meant he was beginning to heal.

However, at this moment, Schiller spoke up, "Batman, do you know? You disappoint me."

Batman looked at Schiller, not understanding why he said that. Schiller set down his utensils, wiped his mouth with a napkin, and said, "I invited you to dinner, but you're not eating anything. Don't you think that's very rude?"

Batman instinctively looked at the food on his plate, then glanced at General Putrescent hanging on the hook. His rational mind told him it was a demon, no different from the beef and lamb he usually ate.

However, General Putrescent was a very typical humanoid demon, so Batman felt a physiological disgust towards the prominent joint structure in his plate.

Seeing Schiller's threatening eye contact, Batman remained unmoved. Tolerating Schiller's actions was already his limit.

The next moment, Batman was grabbed by the neck. A stranger demon tightly gripped Batman's throat with his elbow, and Batman struggled. Then, both he and the chair were thrown heavily to the ground.

With a loud thud, Batman felt a heavy blow to his head. And as his vision gradually darkened, he saw the reflection of polished shoes under the suit pants.

The last thing in his sight was Schiller crouching down, the slowly approaching fork, and the meat being pushed into his mouth.

And the last thing he heard was Schiller's voice, tinged with a smile:

"The workers' meat, you've had enough of it. Now, let's taste the flavor of the bourgeoisie, just like you."

[Read at www.patreon.com/shanefreak, and thanks for the invaluable support!]

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Next Chapter>>Chapter 997: The Battle for the High Tower (Thirty-One)