Chapter 1110 Father and Son (Thirty-Nine) (Patreon)

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Loki returned to the bedroom that Thor had prepared for him. As soon as he got back into the room, he threw himself into the soft big bed and covered his eyes with his hands, lying there in silence.

Helen came running in a "thud thud thud" and jumped onto the bed, grabbing Loki's arm and shaking it, "You're not crying, are you? Don't cry! Don't be angry at her, let's go play in the backyard!"

Loki's arm was pulled away by Helen. In fact, he wasn't crying, but his expression was very complex. He suddenly sat up on the edge of the bed. Helen looked at him blankly for a while, then Loki turned his head to look at Helen and said, "Wait, don't tell anyone what I'm about to say."

Helen immediately thumped her chest and said, "Don't worry, my mouth is as tight as Dr. Schiller's!"

"That's why I'm asking you not to tell anyone, because I know you're like him." Loki rolled his eyes and said, "I know your chest reactor can record audio, so turn it off quickly."

Helen looked a bit dejected as she lowered her hand, coughed a couple of times, and the light on her chest reactor went out. She muttered under her breath, "Damn it, the trick Pikachu taught me doesn't work anymore."

Loki reached out and hugged her, which was originally just a gesture of intimacy and coaxing, but when he felt her body temperature, he seemed to be frightened and quickly withdrew his hand.

Helen also sat on the edge of the bed, her legs dangling down and swinging back and forth. She leaned on the edge of the bed with both hands and looked up at Loki, saying, "What do you want to say? Don't worry, you can tell me anything you can't tell others. We can pinky swear to keep it a secret!"

"Nothing." Loki shook his head slightly. His expression looked very complex as he said, "It seems that this Queen should have seen more than one Loki, but perhaps it's normal..."

"The Loki she has, that is, Sylvie, is very special. Perhaps other Lokis who have entered the Time Management Bureau also want to find her to take revenge on the Director of the Time Management Bureau."

"But it seems they didn't get any benefits from this Queen, which is also very normal..." Loki sighed lightly, "She has even achieved more astonishing military exploits than Odin, and those Lokis who can only shout loudly could not possibly be her match."

"Then what are you still worrying about?" Helen's voice was always crisp. She said very decisively, "You're stronger than them. What are you still worrying about?"

Loki took a deep breath and stroked his cheek with one hand, saying, "Before being taken away by the Time Management Bureau, I felt very anxious. At the time, I didn't know where this strange anxiety came from, but later I gradually figured it out..."

"I thought I was anxious to save Asgard, worried about the impending Ragnarok, but perhaps it's not the case."

"Thor already has everything he wants, the throne, the honor, the veneration of the Asgardians, but what about me?"

"What do you want?" Helen asked.

"That's why I feel so annoyed, because I don't know what I want." Loki said with his lips pursed, "I feel like I want power, only by getting power can I save Ragnarok, but I don't know how to get that power... Should I question Thor? Should I question Odin?"

"Or should I just stand still and wait for them to give me what I want?" Loki shook his head slightly, "How long should I wait? The day before Ragnarok?"

"But if I have to strive for it myself, I can't tell Odin, 'You should divide your son's rights and give them to me,' nor can I tell Thor, 'What you've given me is not enough, you must make everyone respect me'..."

"But now I realize..." Loki fell silent for a moment, as if he didn't want to say the following words.

But soon he spoke again, "What Thor said is right, the influence of this Asgardian society on me and Thor is the same. Thor became arrogant and reckless because of their praise and admiration, so what about me?"

"Why, when I think of getting something, the only thing that comes to my mind is waiting in place, and when I think of striving for it, I can only think of begging others?"

After hearing his words, Helen blinked and said, "Then what? Are you going to overthrow them by force?"

Helen slowly leaned back, showing an expression of "don't take me with you to die." Loki gently patted the back of her head, and Helen laughed "haha."

"This Queen has told me a very important reason." Loki lowered his eyelids and said, "I don't need to wait for anything, nor do I need to strive for anything."

"I am the prince of Asgard, the younger brother of the God-King, this is the identity I already have, and the identity of the royal family should naturally enjoy power."

"The reason why I feel that I don't have it may be precisely because of what this Thor said, I am always seeking the recognition of the Asgardians."

"I feel I must have bargaining chips to make them respect me, either abilities on par with Thor, or Odin's approval, so they will come to respect me, and treat me the same as they treat Thor..."

"Isn't that so?" Helen asked.

"Of course not." Loki shook his head, "They should respect me by default, whether I am a prince or a prince, as long as I am a member of the Asgardian royal family, I should enjoy all of this."

Loki maintained a thoughtful expression and said, "In fact, I do have power, I just never used it. So why haven't I used it?"

"Thor is right, when the Asgardians say I'm not worthy, I feel that I'm not worthy, so when they show that I'm not worthy, although I'll question them superficially, deep down I feel that I really am not worthy, and that they are correct."

"So I start to think, how do I become worthy of all this? But no matter how I think about it, there's no more room for advancement, there's only one throne, where else can I go up?"

"Thor already has stable rule, I'm his only younger brother, there are only a few members of the Asgardian royal family, the All-Father and Queen have long since retired and don't even show up anymore, Sif and Thor haven't officially married yet, so that leaves only me, right?"

"There's only one God-King and one prince, if they treat me a little better, is that going to wear them out?"

Helen was stunned. She didn't expect Loki to say these words. In the past, although Loki liked to use words to hurt others, he very rarely used such a self-righteous attitude to criticize others.

Seeing Helen's slightly surprised expression, Loki looked at her and said, "You're also wondering why I've never thought of this before, right?"

Helen hesitated for a moment and said in a tactful tone, "They've always said you're arrogant, but I think you're pretty humble..."

Helen touched her own cheek and then said, "I think arrogance should be like Dr. Schiller, if anything happens, he must find problems from others."

"I'm really quite curious..." Helen hugged her arms and stared into Loki's eyes, "Can I ask you a serious question?"

Loki nodded, and Helen looked at him with a very puzzled gaze and said, "Is it really the first time you've just thought of finding fault with them?"

Loki propped his hands on the edge of the bed and raised his head, saying, "You know, living in an environment where everyone thinks you have a problem, you'll start to think you have a problem yourself..."

"I wouldn't." 

What surprised Loki was that Helen refuted him decisively. She hopped off the bed and walked up to Loki, looking at him and saying:

"I know, you all see me as a joke, you really don't think of me as your daughter, you're just spending time with me to act, because I'm important, so you can use me as a link to the Iron Sorcerer, in case something happens, he'll help you out of consideration for me, so you're maintaining this relationship with me, but you really don't care about me or love me."

Loki was a bit stunned, because what Helen said was so definite, and her tone was nothing like a child's.

"I know everyone thinks this way, I'm not born to you, I just popped out of a crack in the stone, I suddenly appeared in your lives, and it's good enough that you don't find me annoying."

Loki looked at Helen in silence, but he didn't see any resentment or dissatisfaction in her eyes. Helen sighed in an affected mature way and said:

"But I really don't care, and I don't think it's my problem, do you know why?"

Loki blinked but didn't ask out loud. Helen looked into his eyes and said, "You've lived for so long, yet you're not as mature as me. No offense, God of Mischief, you're nothing special."

Helen hugged her arms proudly. Loki gently extended a finger and tapped it on her forehead, then bent his finger and flicked her on the head.

"Ow!!!" Helen covered her head and cried out, taking two steps back. Loki smiled at her and said, "Experienced the power of the God of Mischief, huh?"

"Don't mess around, I'm talking about something important." Helen rubbed her head and said:

"I've long since accepted the fact that I'm not the most important, everyone has to accept this fact, sooner or later."

"A person's energy is limited, no one will revolve around another person every day, unless there is a profit to be made from that person."

"You are willing to spend time and energy to accompany me, whether or not you truly love me, or just want to use me, the time and energy you spend is not false, and the happiness I gain from the company is not false either..."

Helen shrugged and looked at Loki, "You and Tony are both very busy, Pepper and Frigga are actually busier than you. That you're willing to spare time from your busy schedules to spend with me, a monster that popped out of a crack in the stone, is already very good."

Loki looked at her a bit blankly and said, "Compared to me and Tony, don't you feel more like someone else?"

Helen shook her head and said, "You mean Dr. Schiller? He's really not as open-minded as me, he's so conflicted, wanting you to be sick all the time, yet also wanting you to never get sick at all..."

Loki looked around and lowered his voice, "Don't say that anymore, if he hears it, we'll both be in trouble."

Helen giggled and jumped back onto the bed, jumping into Loki's arms and kissing him on the cheek, saying:

"I don't care at all whether or not you're my biological parents, and I don't care whether you truly love me from the heart, or if the act of giving is itself a proof of love."

"Being loved out of interest is no different from not being loved at all."

"If I spend every day agonizing over these issues during the precious time you can spend with me, the happy memories will be filled with pain when I look back on them..."

Loki touched the spot on his face where Helen had kissed him, with a pensive expression. Helen stared at him and asked, "Do you know what the most vicious crime in the world is?"

"What is it?"

"When others have invested so much to create beautiful memories for you, but you question every day why they invested in you, wasting all those precious moments, and then blame them for not loving you enough..."

Loki looked at her face, silent for a while, then slowly stood up, holding Helen in front of him. In her nearly identical face, he saw the sunset shining through the windows of the Celestial Palace.

The golden light shone into Helen's eyes, and when she blinked, her lashes seemed to embrace the sun.

Loki extended his arms and slowly raised them, until he lifted Helen into the light.

He gazed intently at Helen's shining eyes in the light, as if seeing the most beautiful jewel in the world.

Helen broke into a smile and waved her hands, calling out, "Dad!"

Loki drew his arms back, hugging Helen tightly to his chest.

When the sunset also shone on him, the luster on the edges of his armor became hazy and soft.

Every wanderer from home thinks they can only take away a pillow of tears.

But for countless millennia, the pioneering ancestors who have ventured across the great rivers and mountains of others, have taken root in this strange land, extending their sturdy roots towards the distant future, until leaving behind their own blood-related fruits.

That is their extension, their destination, the proof that they are no longer alone in this world, and the new bond they have formed with this beautiful world.

Both siblings and siblings are very fragrant.

[Read at www.patreon.com/shanefreak, and thanks for the invaluable support!]

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