Chapter 1061: Startling Mortals (Thirty-eight) (Patreon)

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As the lights flickered back to life, Steve's movements reversed, steadily retreating towards the entrance of Stark Tower. Before stepping inside, he looked upward. His gaze pierced through the glass façade of Stark Tower, reaching into the Stark Tower lab.

Inside the laboratory, JARVIS manipulated the robotic body, attaching a peculiar electric device to his own arm.

Stark, lying silent on the lab table, was surrounded by the sizzling sound of electricity, transforming the laboratory into less of a scientific center and more of a dungeon adorned with torture devices.

Suddenly, a portal appeared in the laboratory, and Loki and Strange emerged together.

"You've arrived just in time," Stark spoke, but Loki appeared shocked. He turned to Stark and asked, "Must you resort to suicide to seek Death?"

Stark nodded from the lab table, displaying unwavering determination.

Stark turned his head towards Strange. While looking at Loki, Strange said, "See, I've been trying for days, but I can't convince him! He and Schiller are both mad. Why must they resort to suicide for anything?"

Loki, who had just received this news, frowned at Stark. He began to ponder Stark's psyche, delving deeper than Strange. Consequently, he developed a certain understanding of Stark's motivations.

A few days earlier, Stark had approached Strange, seeking assistance in executing his plan. However, the first step of the plan had taken Strange aback – Stark intended to find Death through the extreme measure of suicide.

Certainly, Stark didn't have to resort to such an extreme method to find Death. Perhaps by elevating himself above space and meticulously searching, he could discover Death's whereabouts.

However, on one hand, he needed to act swiftly to complete the task. Otherwise, he couldn't hide it from Steve or Professor X. This group, with high moral standards, would never allow him to take such a risk. If, by any chance, Death goddess didn't permit his return, the loss would extend beyond Stark Industries.

The fastest way was to die directly. From daily interactions with Schiller, Stark understood that Death goddess was not entirely fair. Special souls received special guidance and attention. He believed that by dying, he would undoubtedly meet Death goddess.

On the other hand, Stark and Schiller were quite similar. Schiller, due to mental issues, rejected any imperfection, while Stark, with innate sensitive emotions and a sense of responsibility, wouldn't allow any friend to sacrifice for him.

And once such an event occurred, guilt and self-blame would torment him until he had to repay with his own injuries and blood, just to feel a bit relieved.

Stark knew that every time Schiller negotiated with Death goddess, he would directly commit suicide on the spot. He was well aware that even though Schiller was mentally ill, facing the pain and fear of Death was not diminished. In other words, to save them and the entire human civilization, Schiller died many times.

If that's the case, why couldn't he die once?

He, too, was the savior of humanity, the most genius of geniuses worldwide. Why couldn't he sacrifice as others did? Why did others sacrifice instead of him? That's Iron Man – he always thought this way and always felt pain because of these thoughts.

During the time helping Schiller break free, it wasn't only Schiller who suffered. These superheroes, burdened with moral and friendship pressure, tortured each other. Stark, already mentally unstable, saw his anxiety worsen.

Various reasons prompted Stark to make such an extreme decision. Despite Strange's persuasion for days, exhausting all reasoning, he couldn't shake Stark's determination this time.

However, it didn't mean that, when facing Death, he wouldn't feel fear. It wasn't like being on the battlefield, adrenaline surging, feeling no pain for survival. Just hearing the electric device starting to operate made Stark extremely nervous.

In the dim and cramped cave in Afghanistan, operating the machinery alone to perform surgery on the reactor in his chest, during nights when the safety of the first-generation Mech armor was not guaranteed, Stark always gritted his teeth alone. He never told anyone that he was afraid of the dark and pain.

Schiller played Schiller, Stark played Iron Man, and Steve played Captain America. Each could see the abnormality in the others but pretended not to notice, neither revealing nor acknowledging it.

Stark sighed, looking at Strange and Loki. "If you consider me a friend, then now is the time to support my decision."

Putting away the bandages in his hands, Strange frowned and said, "I've said it before, I've tried to persuade you for days, my lips are sore from talking. But you won't listen. If you insist on suicide, what can we do?"

"I've said it; I'm not committing suicide!" Stark emphasized again. "I'm going to find Death goddess and reclaim the price Schiller paid. This matter cannot be left unresolved, can it?"

Stark curled his legs, resting his arms on his knees. "Schiller paid a huge price to bring back Howard and Maria. I can't simply tell him, 'What you did is wrong; cancel the deal immediately.'"

"That would be unfair to him!" Stark looked into Strange's eyes and continued, "During the process of seeking treatment for Schiller, I expressed too much nostalgia for my parents. This led him to believe that I hadn't accepted my parents' death. So, he took such an extreme measure, paying a huge price to bring them back."

"So, now I can't find him and say, 'You're insane, I never intended this, it's all your imagination. I didn't want you to harm yourself to help me, so cancel the deal immediately!'"

"Stepping back, as a friend, not noticing his extreme mindset and abnormal mental state is also my fault, and I must take responsibility for that."

Stark sighed slightly. "Moreover, if I ask Schiller to cancel the deal, Howard and Maria might die again. Facing the fear of Death once is enough."

"What about you?" Strange couldn't help but speak up. "You say facing the fear of Death once is enough, but what are you doing now? Hasn't the near-death experience in Afghanistan taught you how terrifying Death can be?"

Loki, the most knowledgeable in psychology among the three, crossed his arms and looked into Stark's eyes. "Even though you think this is a rational decision, let me tell you, haven't you noticed that you've always had a self-destructive tendency?"

"You always attribute all responsibilities in the world to yourself, blaming yourself for not unleashing your genius brain's full potential. Schiller forces himself to self-harm, and you want to force yourself into suicide. You're two peas in a pod."

Stark sat in silence, lowering his head. After several tens of seconds, he spoke. "It should be said that you, me, Stephen, and Schiller, the four of us are like carved from the same mold. No one should criticize anyone."

"You, Loki Odinson, not even an Odinson, not even an Asgardian, insist on seeking a perfect way out for Asgard, not allowing any loss or sacrifice. Even for this goal, you're ready to sacrifice yourself."

"And you, Stephen Strange, never allowing yourself to make mistakes, never leaving any retreat. Holding artifacts like the Time Stone, you're unwilling to give yourself a second chance for surgery."

Stark took a deep breath. "We are constantly pushing ourselves, refusing to accept any imperfections. All the pain we gain from this is what we deserve."

The three in the room fell into silence. Loki, skilled in sophistry, and Strange, always stubborn, couldn't come up with more reasons to refute Stark at this moment. Because in the Radiance Alliance and even in the entire superhero circle, the four people Stark mentioned were the most alike.

Wisdom, adept at calculations, patient, persevering, greedy, and arrogant, always pursuing perfection relentlessly, ultimately ending up on a self-destructive path.

Strange sighed, deciding to bring up some practical issues. So, he spoke, "I have to remind you, the fear of Death is one thing, but on the other hand, it will be very painful..."

"Even if you don't understand any medical knowledge, just think about it, the pain caused by electric current piercing through the heart, leading to cardiac arrest, will bring unparalleled suffering. Do you still remember the pain when you underwent neural intervention surgery initially? It will only be worse than that, not to mention facing Death directly!"

"Facing Death..." Stark murmured softly and then closed his eyes. His body began to tremble gradually. Before Strange could ask, Stark gritted his teeth and said, "I feel a bit cold..."

Strange was about to retort. It was clearly not shivering due to a drop in body temperature but extreme nervousness and anxiety-induced physical spasms.

However, Stark didn't look at him; instead, he looked at JARVIS. Feeling Stark's gaze, JARVIS said, "Sir, let me get you a jacket."

After JARVIS left, Stark, feeling somewhat powerless, lay back on the bed. Tears began to accumulate in his eyes, like a father full of pain but unwilling to show weakness in front of his children.

Loki sighed and looked out the window. "Thor often educates me to learn to accept bloodshed and sacrifice."

"But the truth is, the most courageous thing in this world is to calmly accept the sacrifice of your loved ones on the road to achieving your goals. After that, muster the courage to move forward again."

"Guilt is a good knife. Those who can continue walking after this knife stabs into their hearts are the most fearless warriors in the world."

Loki closed his eyes, sighed, and said, "The only thing I acknowledge that Thor is stronger than me is that he can face countless sacrifices and Deaths of his comrades without being defeated by guilt and sorrow. He charges forward courageously, forever charging forward."

Loki's tone was unexpectedly calm. This seemingly always unyielding little prince, his arrogance, made him never say such words in front of someone like Thor.

"When we face Ragnarok, I fear it just like Thor. I'm willing to become the first sacrifice. But that doesn't prove I'm braver than him because Asgardians never fear Death."

Loki closed his eyes. In his expression, there was no depression like when talking about this topic before, only calmness and distance.

If there were Asgardians present at this moment, they would be astonished. What is it that makes the God of Mischief, from his tone, express loyalty and determination like every Asgardian?

"Asgardian, I hope they have an All-Father charging at the front, courageous and willing to sacrifice."

"And I, only honor the courage of the last God to die, for the new king of Asgard."

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Next Chapter>>Chapter 1062: World-Shaking Mortal (Thirty-Nine)