A Balanced Breakfast (Patreon)

A commissioned cap for MatrixFreak

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“These are impressively stupid,” she’d said, rolling her eyes. “Magic wish puffs cereal? Really?”

Still, as she poured the cereal into the bowl, she found her eyes drawn to the leprechaun character on the box. 

“Just make a wish!” it said in a big text bubble, “Wish for me’ pot of gold!”

She glanced around her apartment. Her flatmates were out, she could maybe just...

“I, uh, wish for a pot of gold,” she said, blushing as she heard her own voice say it in the empty apartment. God, that was dumb.

She checked the box, and the instructions said she had to do it while pouring the cereal, or the wish wouldn’t work right. Well, she wasn’t doing it again. That was one embarrassing act too many.

She poured the cereal, added milk, and began munching. Surely something so childish would at least taste- Yuck. It tasted bland. Well, there was the reason it was so heavily discounted already, despite her having never seen it on the shelf before. She may as well just tip the bowl out, and go find some real food. On the walk across her apartment, she rolled her eyes at the dumb box, quite sure that she’d never see that trash sold anywhere ever again. 

She was almost to the sink, when she spotted something shiny... Pausing, frowning, she walked back across her apartment, the bowl still in hand. It was... Gold. Sort of. Yellow plastic treasure coins, from some play set somehow. Extra large and unhazardous, it seemed.

No way - was this a prank? Had somebody heard her make her dumb wish?

She frowned, and marched with the bowl to her flatmates’ rooms. She knew she must look stupid, yet still peaked in each anyway. Geeze, had their beds always been so colourful? Marching back, she stared in bafflement at the pile of fake treasure in her living room. How? She turned and glanced back to the box. Surely not... Don’t be dumb, she told herself, whoever had done this was surely recording her reaction. It-

The door opened.

Her flatmates walked in. Only... They were with another woman, and were each holding her hand on either side. And their hair... It was in... Pigtails? Huh? She didn’t know them all that well, she had to admit. Were they doing some sort of act or play? Or was this part of the prank? 

The woman released them at the table, where they sat obediently. What in the– None of them tended to use the table, preferring to eat at the kitchen bench. Nobody had even explained what was– Wait, her flatmates’ clothes. Those were school uniforms? It was definitely some sort of skit or play... But why was nobody thinking to tell her whatever the hell was- 

“See sweeties, apologizing to the nice Mrs Merdo next door about the noise you made last night wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“No Mommy,” they said in unison.

Mommy...? They’d had a brief party last night, she recalled, with a few people over. But... Geeze, which part of that interaction did she even focus on? Mommy?

“Goodness,” the woman commented, holding up the opened cereal box, “It looks like somebody started early.”

They all glanced at her. What in the-

She followed their glance down to herself, just making sure that she herself wasn’t wearing one of-

No. No way... She was wearing one of the school uniforms! No way! This was not a prank. It was something else. It was...

She watched ‘Mommy’ pick up the box, and place it down on the table with milk and two bowls. Her mouth hung as they began arranging their bowls and spoons neatly in front of them.

Her eyes darted to the strange woman they’d appeared with. She was removing a huge hairbrush from the purse, and began inspecting the flat wooden side. “Apologizing to Mrs Merdo was good for you, wasn’t it?”

Her flatmates both blushed and nodded, and wriggled strangely at the table. Each brushed a hand down to her thigh and backside. “Yes Mommy...” they muttered in unison.

Seriously, what was with this ‘Mommy’ stuff? It almost seemed like she had, er... Well, more like their neighbour had, er... No, surely not.

She heard the tinkling of cereal into a bowl, and her eyes whisked back to the box. Surely there must be some explanation, but really? Was she really going to believe-

“No, you have to make a wish!” she insisted, stumbling forward. They all blinked at her as she spoke for the first time since they’d arrived. Was her voice higher?

Yet her flatmates persisted in pouring their cereal, clearly in a rush.

“What sort of wish?” one of them asked in confusion.

“To, like... You know, don’t you want to be, like, a big girl?”

“I um. Sure. I wish I didn’t have to go to school, and could stay home all the time and play.”

All of a sudden, the room glowed around them. A play corner sprung up, full of toys. Her flatmate and her shared a shocked glance, while nobody else seemed to have noticed? Her flatmate almost seemed excited by the sight of toys. Yet both their faces fell when they saw the three diaper charts on the wall, and the big changing station beneath. There were... Oh goodness, there were diapers, stacked up high. That was one way to stay home from school and play all day, she supposed... Not that she went to school, it was just–

“It’s almost empty!”

She glanced back, seeing her other flatmate frowning and shaking the box of cereal into her bowl. Goodness, it was hard to see over the table. Both her flatmates weren’t in those booster seats right?

She rushed forward, and jumped to grab the box.

“Hey!” 

“YOUNG. LADY.”

She winced. Was that giant woman bigger than before? Oh goodness, she was huge. And she was advancing with the hairbrush. Well, no time. She glanced around, whisked a bowl from the table, then began to pour. “I wish that I was-”

Only... A harsh smack landed on her backside. The cereal spiralled away, falling all over the floor as her squeal echoed in her ears.

She shrieked, diving for it, except a strong hand grabbed her by the wrist, and yanked her back up from the ground. A moment later, a series of hard smacks were falling on her backside. She yelped and squealed, dancing about on tippy toes, and lost track of reality and time as she experienced the impossible. Her flatmates remained seated at the table, watching and blushing.

“Really, young lady. I thought you being the oldest meant that you could go to school while your sisters stayed home. But it seems somebody is the most immature of all, and will be going back into the most babyish diapers we have and staying here with Mommy.”

Trapped as she was in the woman’s iron grip, she could only lean partway to glance under the table and see - oh geeze, oh no. Both her flatmates... They were wearing... Big, thick, crinkly... Diapers! They stood out so obviously beneath the straps of the booster seats. One girl didn’t look so perturbed, though the second wisher was blushing as she poked at hers.

She lost track of time and meaning, as ‘Mommy’ made her pick up all the loose bits of cereal on her hands and knees, while apparently ringing the ‘school’ and explaining that she wouldn’t be coming in today, or again, since she was having a little temper tantrum and wasn’t quite the advanced student they’d thought. As she picked up the cereal piece by piece - noting how much bigger it was now, or how much smaller she was in truth - she tried to make a wish beneath her breath over and over, but to no avail. She wouldn’t risk saying it loud enough that ‘Mommy’ might hear, not after all that. And besides, she knew the woman was close as she heard a rustling behind her.

By the time she had the cereal gathered where she was instructed, she turned to find ‘Mommy’ was holding up a big diaper. Well, maybe not so big, again it just seemed that it was because she was small...

“Now you sit on those cereal puffs, young lady, and learn that they are not a toy, and will only sting your bottom if you treat them as such. Mommy is going to prepare your powders and ointments, since I think at your age you’re going to need a few more of them, and you think about what it was that got you into this situation. Goodness, they don’t even make that cereal anymore. And you were so desperate for Mommy to buy it when you walked beside the cart. Next time you’re sitting in the seats along with your sisters, and Mommy will decide the cereals. You don’t need the sugar anyway, you just get hyper. I think the new spinach and oats cereal will be a much better choice. It has none of that magic nonsense on the box either. Just good old fashioned fibre, and a free pack of diapers with every 10 boxes, which we can start cutting out the coupons for - since you’re going to need them.”