Personal Update (Patreon)

Hey guys!

First of all, thank you for all the lovely messages of support and encouragement.

They mean a lot to me. 💕

Now to address some of the concerns:

To my surprise, my 2nd vaccine shot came with little to zero side effects.

Just a sore arm on the day, a little bit of stiffness the day after, and that's it.

So, I'm fine health-wise.

With regards to Elath's departure, it hit me harder than I expected.

(for those unaware, my partner with whom I've been together for nearly 15 years has been sent on a business trip to Australia for 3 months)

I'm not in pain per se, nor am I crying my eyes out in a dark corner… but I do feel extremely tired and demotivated.

I've started sleeping a lot… 4-5 hour naps for every 2 hours of activity.

It almost feels as if I subconsciously want to sleep off the three months until his return- something I really can't afford to do.

It wouldn't even be healthy to entertain, regardless of how much I miss him, but I'm not sure how to fight this.

I don't want to sleep this much, but I'm literally dozing off while doing stuff; gmes/movies/vc chats… doesn't matter.

It's like I have become a human snooze button.

As for the VN, I'll be honest - there's a laughable amount of work left to be done; just bits and bobs in code and sprite work.

But this is the dullest and most repetitive part of the development, which, combined with my current staying awake problem, makes it nearly impossible.

All in all, there's maybe 20-30 hours of work left, but considering I manage only to squeeze 2-4 hours a day - if it's a good day - it takes forever.

But that's as of now.

I can't and don't want to continue this dumb downturn because this VN is literally the only thing that pulled me out of depression, and I fear that if I allow myself more and more lapses in mood, I'll fall back into where I was a year ago.

Nope, I can't have that.

Work is what kept me sane and mentally stable and now that I cannot work... yeah... it's getting scary for me.

Plus, I'm not used to such idleness anymore.

Finally, we're just before the anniversary, and I have exciting things prepared for it.

Pushing the Public release past the 16th of August would be a personal failure for me.

This means that Patreon Update has to come out around the 1st if I am to keep on schedule.

So that's the situation…

I'm trying to figure out how to claw myself out of this bizarre state… and it feels pretty embarrassing even to write this.

I have a fantastic support network of friends to whom I can turn to, and I am fortunate enough to have such a wonderful community cheering me on.

So yeah… I do count my blessings… it's just that my body doesn't seem to get the memo.

But I'm trying... it slowly gets better, but much too slowly for my liking.

If you have any ideas on fighting this bs mood and tiredness, do let me know.

At this point, I'll try anything.

With love 💗

~Kael