Cuteness Won't Load (pre-release) 🎉 (Patreon)

A special access release to my supporters, thank you so much! This song will be out on Spotify on the 19th of this month!

LYRICS:

Just another insult of today

While I'm just trying to

Have fun and play

The internets like

A cyber jungle gym

Where you can still get

Pushed to the pavement

I’m-- trying to do me

But I feel like

I can’t fucking breathe

Been dealing with this

Since the 20 teens
But I can’t take it personally

Projected insecurities

A little color

And you’re not creative

A bit of sparkle

And you’re trying too hard

A drop of sweetness

And you’re called fake

But dare to be different

And you’re painted a mistake

“Your cuteness won’t load”

This saying's getting hella old

I’ve been in the game too long

And seen too many green toads

Words mean nothing to me

Wish you fair well

And recovery

Get well bitches

Jealousy’s a tough disease

Cuteness, your cuteness won't load

Cuteness, your cuteness won't load

Cuteness, your cuteness won't load

Cuteness, your cuteness won't load

Cry, kick, and scream

Behind your screens

Just let it all out

Sick darlings
Oh, it’s clear and simple, I see

You're angry at things

You wish you could be~

Loud and confident

And you're called conceited

Be more silent

And you're too deceiving

Show some skin

You're a scandalous sin

There's no way

You can even fucking win

“Your cuteness won’t load”

This saying is getting hella old

I’ve been in the game too long

And seen too many green toads

Words mean nothing to me

Wish you fair well

And recovery

Get well bitches

Jealousy’s a tough disease

Some background:
Since the 20 teens (i.e.; 2017), I've encountered insecure people for lack of a better word, despite maintaining a modest presence (i was pretty PG/too shy to even do anything remotely suggestive). I even had one obsessed person (a former peer I worked with in the past), that I wrote a song/about what she put me through (which I never released due to my old laptop breaking). Thankfully, Karma found her.

That all fizzled out and I focused on my growth, leading to a major breakthrough towards the end of 2019-2020 (several videos I made went viral). However, despite my efforts, I had little to no growth from late 2021-2023. I was starting to lose hope and considered starting over. However, a miracle happened towards the end of 2023; a cover I made went viral.

However, the success was bittersweet this time around: While the cover was well-received on my channel, it faced significant negativity when posted elsewhere. Especially on TikTok (and on re-uploaded YT shorts), attracting mass comments like "cuteness won't load", "post on reels babe <3" (a bait to get slaughtered, reels are far more toxic), "You have no talent. You can't sing/voice act", + more colorful words/death threats. Floods of these comments spread all across my TikTok videos; getting over 3k+ likes. They were, mainly from women, which was unsurprising given my past experiences. As a girls girl + a bisexual, it's disheartening to have been hated by those I wish to connect with the most. I've been wanting more females in my audience.

This overwhelming negativity/gaslighting pushed me to address these long-standing issues through my music and myself as an artist. I realized it doesn't matter what I do; if I'm completely PG, PG13, X rated--I'll still get hated. I'm no fool to this game; get well, bitches; jealousy is a tough disease. I'm fine now and way over all of this but i thought you would all like some exclusive BG, which will only be here <3 Maybe this time around, this song can make it's way towards other girls who resonate with this, too.