Chef's Kiss Ch. 14 (Fate/Grand Order) (Patreon)

A/N: In which Shirou & Co. meet Jeanne~

-x-X-x-

With the skeletons dispatched in short order, Shirou has a smile on his face as he turns back to the French Soldiers, brushing his hands off one another.

“Right then! So… what was that about a ‘Dragon Witch’?”

The soldiers, who had all just watched his allies trounce a very real threat to their lives, all gulp nervously while the spokesperson from earlier once again steps forward.

“R-Right. So… the Dragon Witch is… is Jeanne d’Arc, the Holy Maiden of Orleans born again. Except… except they say she came back wrong when she was resurrected. They say that she burnt King Charles to a crisp she did, and that she forced England to retreat with the sheer raw power she wields!”

Well… that certainly sounded serious. But before Shirou can delve any deeper into any of it, or even begin processing what that could mean for their mission here in these lands…

“WYVERN ATTACK! THE DRAGON WITCH ISN’T DONE WITH US YET!”

Shirou’s eyes widen and he turns at the call to see a massive force of wyverns heading towards the fort… and thus towards them. Down on the ground a few feet away, Saber Alter prepares herself for battle as the other two master-servant pairs do the same. Clenching his jaw, Shirou steps forward and brings his hands up.

In one, a large longbow materializes into existence. In the other, Shirou summons a sword that he reinforces with enough mana that it begins to shake and spark with barely contained power. Then, nocking the sword in his longbow, Shirou pulls back, sights down his arm… and looses the glowing projectile.

The sword-turned-arrow flies true, zipping through the air and taking a wyvern at the center of the formation right in its chest. Before the creature can do more than cry out, the over-charged traced weapon finally explodes, taking the wyvern and a few of its allies along with it.

But of course, that barely makes a dent in the approaching force of flying creatures. As the wyverns bear down on them all, Shirou clenches his jaw and prepares to trace another sword… only for a new voice to ring out over the battlefield.

“SOLDIERS OF FRANCE! RALLY! TO ME! TO ME!”

Blinking, Shirou glances over to see someone standing directly in the path of the afternoon setting sun. It’s impossible to make out her features, but not impossible to make out the France banner that she’s swinging back and forth over her head. At seeing that, the soldiers that they were talking with all seem to become energized in a way they hadn’t before. Their shoulders straighten along with their backs and they all hold their heads high as they raise their weapons towards the sky, towards the impending wyvern attack. Each and every one of them lets out a battle cry filled with defiance in the face of death and anguish for their lost countrymen.

What follows is… well, more of the same. To be perfectly honest, despite having an aerial advantage the wyverns don’t fare much better than the skeletons did. Not only are the French Soldiers helping this time around, but having three sets of Master-Servants on the field at one time just makes any battle except for against other Servants patently unfair.

The wyverns don’t stand a chance as Saber Alter slices and dices, Ereshkigal pokes and prods, and Mash blocks any and all attacks be they tooth or claw from reaching her Master as well as Rin. Shirou, of course, is on the front lines with Alter and Ereshkigal, using Reinforcement to keep his skin tough enough to keep the wyverns from rending it straight from his bones.

Finally, this battle too comes to an end. Which is when things get… weird.

“T-The Dragon Witch?!”

“What?! What’s she doing here?! Why did she help us?!”

“It’s a trap, it must be! Retreat into the Fort! Retreeeeat!”

All of the sudden, the French Soldiers are all freaking out. Shirou exchanges confused glances with his compatriots… only to watch as the cause of their freakouts walks up looking equally confused and a little embarrassed. Jeanne d’Arc stands there with the banner in her hands, frowning as the soldiers she’d just pushed into fighting for their Kingdom all rush into the Fort and lock it up tightly behind them.

… This was the Dragon Witch? Said to have come back ‘wrong’ and killed King Charles? When Saber Alter steps forward, looking ready to do battle with Jeanne, Shirou reaches out and puts an arm across her, keeping the yellow-eyed Servant from starting a fight. Everyone else is tense but equally unwilling to engage in combat without more information.

Panning her gaze away from the Fort over to the six of them, Jeanne d’Arc presses her lips together in a tight line and then jerks her head in the direction of the nearby forest.

“Come… let us speak somewhere a bit more secluded.”

With no better ideas forthcoming from anyone, they follow Jeanne into the woods, allowing her to lead them to a small clearing where they can finally speak. Looking them all over, Jeanne furrows her brow and tilts her head to the side.

“May I ask… who are all of you? You are not of this world, are you?”

Both Ritsuka and Shirou would probably have spilled the beans given half the chance. But before they can, Rin steps forward with her arms crossed over her chest and scoffs.

“Why should we tell you anything? All we know so far is that someone who apparently bears your likeness has been going around massacring people, killing Kings, and wielding an army of dragons against the population of this Kingdom. If anyone should be explaining itself, it should be you.”

… Shirou felt like Rin was right, but she definitely could have said it a bit nicer. Still, they needed to present a united front here. There wasn’t any point in all six of them coming into this Singularity together if they let themselves get divided right off the bat.

In response to Rin’s accusatory tone, Jeanne looks a little taken aback for a moment before ultimately her shoulders slump and she hangs her head.

“Ah… I suppose you’re right. Though it hurts to be blamed for things I know I did not do. I shall be honest with you all… I have little to no idea what is happening right now. I was only summoned a few hours ago. I know that I am a Servant. I know that I am a Ruler specifically. However… I am lacking many of the abilities that a Ruler-Class Servant should possess. For instance, I know that three of you are Servants in your own right but I cannot discern your true names.”

While Rin is processing that and likely trying to figure out how to respond, Ritsuka suddenly punches a fist into her palm.

“Oh! You must be the world’s response to the other Jeanne!”

All eyes turn towards the red-haired Master of Chaldea, who blushes for a moment before explaining her reasoning.

“W-Well… if this Jeanne is only a few hours old, then there has to be another Jeanne running around right? An Evil Jeanne who killed King Charles! And she’s probably the one who possesses this Singularity’s Holy Grail!”

Smack! Rin’s hand impacts her face as the magus facepalms at Ritsuka’s mention of both the fact that this is a Singularity and that it’s being held together by a Holy Grail. But while Jeanne’s eyes do widen at that, the Ruler-Class Servant seems to be much more interested in everything else Ritsuka is saying.

“So… this ‘Dark’ Jeanne is the one who’s been giving me a bad name? And she’s holed up in Orleans, ruling with an iron fist… I have to stop her! I have to save France!”

Stars shining in her eyes, Ritsuka eagerly nods.

“W-We’ll be sure to help you, Jeanne! You don’t need to worry; we’ve got your back the entire way!”

Shirou winces. On the one hand, his first instinct is to agree with Ritsuka and even repeat her words for himself. But he’s also been with a certain tsundere long enough to know that Rin is going to blow up in three… two… one.

… Wait, where’s the blow up? Glancing over at Rin, Shirou isn’t surprised to see a mulish expression on his lover’s face. However, rather than growing angry with Ritsuka for speaking for all of them… Rin crosses her arms over her chest and reluctantly nods.

“This is probably our best path forward… so I agree.”

Ah. Now Shirou gets it. Rin isn’t pointing it out, but this really is the way to the Grail in this Singularity, isn’t it? Somehow Ruler Jeanne has been summoned to this world as a sort of counterbalance to Dark Jeanne. If they help her out, well… things are liable to be a hell of a lot easier in the end.

“For now, we should make camp for the evening, seeing as the sun is setting soon. Tomorrow we can start hunting for more information on our adversaries and see just what it would take to successfully dislodge this ‘Evil Jeanne’ from her seat in Orleans.”

Rin’s no-nonsense tone is backed up by Ritsuka’s enthusiastic nodding. From the look on Jeanne’s face, she almost wants to go rushing off right then and there… but she recognizes how weak she currently is and sighs, lowering her head.

“… Very well. We shall continue in the morning then.”

“Good. Shirou, Ereshkigal, you two are with me.”

Wait, what? Shirou blinks in surprise but shrugs after a moment and follows Rin as Ereshkigal blushes but also trails after her Master. Saber Alter, meanwhile, hesitates for only a second… and then sticks to Shirou like glue, following after them as well.

Soon enough, the four of them are all in a clearing alone together. Rin seems a little irritated that Saber Alter has come with them, but in the end she decides to ignore her in favor of looking to Shirou.

“Strip.”

Shirou tilts his head to the side, his hands automatically moving to do as Rin says. Look, Shirou might be the man in their relationship, but none of them wear the pants all the time. Rin has a glaring weakness in bed that Sakura likes to exploit, but when Sakura isn’t around, Shirou tends to default to listening to what Rin says since she’s one of the smarter people he knows.

Even still, as he begins removing his clothes, he does voice the obvious concerns about what’s happening.

“Is this really the time and place, Rin? We’re sort of in the middle of a mission.”

Rin just scoffs at that… and then reaches over and yanks at Ereshkigal’s skimpy coverings, pulling them away and exposing the blonde Goddess’ body as well, much to her squeaking.

“This is as fine a time as any. I told Ereshkigal here that she would eventually be rewarded if she did well. And… I didn’t even have to give her orders in battle. She fought against those wyverns without hesitating. That means it’s time for her reward.”

Ah. Right. This was just more of that revelation Shirou had had about being a harem protagonist, wasn’t it? Rin had said all of that with a serious tone like it was supposed to make sense… despite every word that just came out of her mouth being patently ridiculous. At the same time, Ereshkigal is squirming and blushing but not actually stopping Rin from exposing her and manhandling her down to the ground.

“Besides. Saber Alter will stand guard, since she seems to intent on staying by your side.”

Looking at the yellow-eyed version of Artoria, Rin sniffs haughtily.

“Don’t get distracted now, understood? You are our only line of defense.”

Shirou honestly can’t tell if Alter has a scowl on her face or a determined look. Maybe it’s both? Either way, after a moment she nods sharply before turning away from them and keeping an eye on their surroundings.

Meanwhile, Shirou finds himself kneeling down between Ereshkigal’s legs as the blonde Servant blushes profusely and averts her gaze. Rin on the other hand is staring right down at Shirou’s cock and Ereshkigal’s crotch, even using her fingers to spread her Servant’s pussy lips apart from him. Shirou can’t help himself… even as he’s placing his cockhead against Ereshkigal’s sex, he’s smiling a teasing smile.

“Really? This hole Rin? Not a different one?”

Now BOTH identical women are blushing up a storm, though Rin glares at him through her reddened face as she scowls a bit.

“No. That hole still needs to be earned. That’s an extra special reward.”

Ereshkigal squawks beneath them both at that.

“W-What?! Are you talking about my a-anus?! Why would I want anything in there?! Why would that be rewarding in the s-slightest? I’m not some k-kind of anal freak, I’ll have you both know!”

Rin and Shirou exchange a deadpan look at that. The words ‘and she lied as easily as she breathed’ echo through his mind. Then… he thrusts into Ereshkigal, pushing into her cunt and making the Goddess of the Underworld moan in response. Rin, meanwhile, leans Ereshkigal’s head back into her lap while reaching down and molesting her tits. It’s a little weird because they’re actually Rin’s tits… but if that weirds his lover out at all, she doesn’t say anything. Instead…

“This is your reward for being a Good Girl, Ereshkigal. Good girls get Shirou’s dick.”

“Y-You… nnnngh~”

Shirou just smiles softly and shakes his head in amusement. Watching Rin bully herself… it was quite the experience to say the least. Still, he could feel Ereshkigal clenching down around his cock as he fucked her there in the grass. So at least he knew she was enjoying herself…

-x-X-x-

As wanton moans and flesh slapping against flesh fills the air, not too far off from that, a pair of women are sitting on some rocks and blushing profusely as they try not to listen too hard to the sounds. Jeanne d’Arc and Mash Kyrielight had just been chatting while Mash watched over her sleeping Master, Ritsuka Fujimaru.

Jeanne had confessed to Mash that she was feeling rather insecure regarding her incomplete summoning. And that being unable to access the full breadth of her abilities as a Ruler left her feeling like a brand new, inexperienced Servant.

Mash had in turn related to that experience quite well as a Demi-Servant… but before they could talk much longer, before she could really comfort or encourage the Ruler… the sounds of fucking had gotten a little too loud to ignore. Even with night having fallen, the moans and lewd cries of Ereshkigal weren’t getting any quieter either.

“Is this… i-is this normal?”

Blushing, Mash hangs her head at Jeanne’s question. Unfortunately, the Demi-Servant was pretty sure it was the new normal, so to speak. There was just no helping it… her Master had fallen in with a bunch of perverts!

“S-Should we try and stop them?”

That question… Mash didn’t know. On the one hand, if they got much louder, Ritsuka might wake up and her Master’s sleep was very important. On the other hand, Mash’s instincts screamed that the man… Shirou… he was very dangerous. She wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to fall too deeply into his orbit… nor a good idea to push Jeanne any further into it either.

Tch… but then, what were they supposed to do?

-x-X-x-

A/N: Jeanne and Mash: *having their little heart to heart*

The others in the background: *having copious amounts of sex*

Ritsuka: *dead to the world, an incredibly heavy sleeper*