Zany About You - Ch. 5 (Be The Father Of This Child! Side Story, Patreon Exclusive) (Patreon)

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Chapter Five – A Good Fit

“Is there anything around here to eat?” Dan began talking nervously and started moving around the kitchen, opening cupboards, and trying to find something that was, obviously, not there.

“Do you have the munchies?” Zane questioned. He bounced Jay up and down on his knees.

“I haven’t had anything since this morning,” Dan explained. “I guess my mind was on something else,” he added, his voice dropped low.

“Yeah, I guess,” Zane said and continued to watch Dan as he was making rounds. “I’m sure there’s some food in the fridge.”

Dan stopped and put his hands on his hips. “I shouldn’t snoop around and eat other people’s food, right?”

Zane just shrugged. He was seriously in spectator mode, and it was interesting to examine Dan while he was fighting himself. There was no way he would lend a helping hand at this point; the number one reason why he didn’t want to do that was because he was afraid it would backfire.

“You’re messing with my head,” Dan complained.

“All I do is have fun with you. And you like it,” Zane pointed out. He moved his attention from Dan to coo gentle words to Jay. Jett had left him in charge of his kid, which was a major thing. Not even a cutie like Dan could distract him from his important task.

“I forget to go to school, I forget to eat --” Dan swallowed his words. 

Zane stared at him for a short moment. “Look, man, don’t sweat it. You’re new to it all. That’s all. Stop getting all tied up in knots over it. I told you. Take what you can, enjoy it while it lasts, and then the rest will come.”

Dan leaned against the kitchen counter, with a lost expression on his face. “Things must be so easy for you.”

“You think?” Zane said with a snort.

That earned him a quick, surprised look from Dan. Damn. It wasn’t the time for him to lose his head. He was Zane, Zane the Great, so he didn’t lose his head, and he never had a loose tongue when it came to feels and all that.

“What’s so hard for you? I bet you could have anyone you want.”

“It doesn’t work like that,” Zane replied. “I’m just happy with what I can get.”

Dan threw him a pointed look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Zane sighed. He took out his cigarette lighter with one hand and handed it to Jay, who seemed immediately fascinated by the metallic object. Jay couldn’t open it, so it was safe. “You know what. You pine over April, but that won’t get you anywhere.”

“We’ll see,” Dan said and pursed his lips. 

Zane shook his head and paid no attention to Dan.

“Don’t you like twinks better than me?”

The question took Zane by surprise. “I have no idea where that just came from. I like you. Period. What’s that got to do with any twinks? Again, it’s a porn term, so that you know.”

Zane threw a short look at Dan, and his eyebrows shot up. Could it be that he had just seen a little smile? Well, no matter how long Dan needed to figure out everything, Zane would be available. Until he wouldn’t be. It was just simple like that.

He wished.

His phone rang, and Zane looked at the screen. Hmm, so soon, and the happy parents were already checking on them.

“What’s up, daddy?” Zane drawled the words as he replied.

“Oh, it’s April, actually. I’m just calling from Jett’s phone.” April’s sweet voice came through.

“What’s up, daddy number two?” Zane eyed Dan as the guy retook his tour of the kitchen. It was probably the munchies after coming earlier. Or it was just nervousness, and Dan wanted to calm it down with food. Well, if he thought better, he was a tiny bit hungry, too.

“Do you guys keep an eye on Jay? No fooling around, and letting the boy hit his head against the furniture, or fall from the bed or a chair or --”

As he had rightfully guessed, April was worried. “April, my dude, chill. The boy is fine. I’m holding him as we speak. Also, I’m teaching him how to smoke.” Jay was busy studying the lighter still.

“Zane! I’m going to --”

“Kiss me and tell me you’re going to leave Jett for me?” A little teasing never hurt anyone.

“No.” By April’s voice, Zane could tell his words had hit home. April was so damned easy to tease; it was simply hilarious. “I swear to God; you’re such a joker, Zane.” And now came the ass-kicking April that also lived in the same sexy body.

“That’s okay. Then you know I’m joking.” Zane moved the baby from one knee to another. “Look, I’m putting Jay on, and he can tell you all about what good boys we all are, sitting here and waiting for you to give us something to eat.”

Zane placed the phone by Jay’s ear. “It’s your daddy number two, kiddo. April.”

Jay looked at him like he understood. Clearly, he knew the name because, as Zane encouraged him to talk, he began talking. “A-pa … A-pa …”

Wow, the kid knew some words. At the other end, April sounded impressed. It took little for Jay to start chanting the made-up name. 

Zane put the phone back to his ear. “I think he totally knows who you are.”

“He said my name,” April said enthusiastically. “He said my name.”

“Get out of here!” Jett’s voice was loud, even if he wasn’t on the phone. “He did?”

Zane confirmed from the other end. “He totally did. So hurry up home, daddies, because we’re starving.”

“There is food in the fridge, some leftovers from last night, and also, you can make some omelet --” April started.

“Nah, it’s better if you come and do all that,” Zane replied. Dan still appeared to be a bit at a loss while moving around the kitchen. 

“You can’t tell me you guys are all that unacquainted with kitchen utensils,” April chided him.

“Give me the phone,” Jett said.

“You’re driving.” April’s voice was stern.

“Then, just put it to my ear.”

It only took one moment for Jett’s voice to come booming into his ear. “Zane, you mofo, get your ass and make some food right now. April’s not your wife. He’s mine.”

Zane could barely keep in a burst of bubbling laughter. Jett in possessive, pissed-off mode, was uber funny. “All right, if you two are going to be like this. We’re just going to order some takeout. Does Jay eat Chinese?”

“Jay is only eating baby food.” That was April’s voice, trying to convince him not to buy takeout. Probably the phone went back to him.

“And? The Chinese are billions, so they must have a lot of babies,” Zane said right away.

“Don’t order Chinese. I’ll make something fast, the moment I get home. I hope everyone is finally happy this way,” April said with a sigh.

“Maybe not everyone. Just to be sure, ask your husband.” Teasing one of them was funny, teasing both of them was comedy gold. Zane was pretty proud of himself. Even if it took the risk of having Jett get pissed at him, it was still totally worth it. 

“No need to,” April replied abruptly. “We will all sit at the table and eat like normal people without fighting.”

Ha. April was embarrassed. So, Jett still needed to make it all clear to his ‘wife’ how things stood between them. If a little teasing was what was needed to make those two move things along, it was definitely a good thing.

From the corner of his eye, Zane continued to observe his boyfriend. Dan had finally gathered the guts to open the fridge and stare inside. “Ah, it looks like you don’t need to cook after all,” he said. 

“Why?” April asked, apparently puzzled over Zane’s words.

“Dan looks really cute while getting busy around the kitchen,” Zane whispered.

“Dan is cooking?” April whispered, too.

“He’s just staring at the open door of the fridge, but I think he’s up to something,” Zane continued whispering. Dan threw him a look that told him he was as inconspicuous as a clown at a nun convention.

“You guys, it’s no trouble. Just wait for me, and I’ll take care of everything,” April insisted.

“I don’t know. Dan seems pretty determined. Ah, he’s looking at me, and I’m not sure if it’s a ‘fuck me’ or ‘fight me’ look.” Zane knew precisely what it meant, but why not tease Dan, too, while he was in the process of teasing everyone.

“Zane, stop talking dirty in front of Jay,” April warned.

“Gotta go, sugar lips. See you,” Zane said quickly and cut the conversation.

Dan took some eggs and cheese from the fridge and didn’t hesitate to look at Zane with pissed off eyes.

“What?” Zane asked, simulating surprise.

“Why were you so flirty with April on the phone just now?”

“Flirty? It’s just how I am,” Zane replied. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous.” Another dirty look from Dan warned him that it was better for him just to shut the hell up. But when had Zane ever been the kind to pay heed to warnings like that? “You are jealous.”

“I can’t be,” Dan said, pretending to be too busy with whisking the eggs in a ball to pay attention to him. “April is the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen in my life. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had the hots for him, too.”

Zane smirked. He began playing with Jay, completely ignoring Dan.

“You do not deny it,” Dan said after a while.

“It’s too rewarding to see you jealous. It goes to prove that you’re, at least one bit, interested in me.”

A long silence followed.

“I am interested in you.”

Talking about words that needed to be pulled out of Dan’s mouth with some fucking power tool. But they were enough, for now. Zane wasn’t the kind to push his luck. That was one principle he guided himself in life, and, so far, it had worked pretty damned fine.

***

There had been some nasty looks thrown between Dan and Jett during the meal, but it had all gone without unpleasant circumstances. Jett took Zane for a talk in the backyard, not without throwing a meaningful look at Dan and April. The dude really had no qualms with showing off just how jealous he could be. Zane would have laughed about it, but, as much as he knew April to be head over heels with Jett, he wasn’t crazy about the idea of leaving Dan with him, either. Maybe he was a bit jealous, too.

“So, did you manage to get into buzz cut boy’s pants already?” Jett asked directly as soon as they were out of earshot.

Zane didn’t want to share all the details of his hot encounters with Dan, unlike other times, when he had been a total chatterbox. Usually, Jett couldn’t care less about his conquests, but right now, he obviously had a direct interest in learning how things stood between Dan and Zane. “Not yet,” he replied curtly.

“Are you losing your touch or something?” Jett teased him.

“Who knows?” Zane said, and then grinned. “Don’t worry about me. Tell me about your wife.” Changing the subject was always a good strategy.

“What wife?” Jett feigned being surprised.

Zane laughed out loud. “April. You told me on the phone that he’s your wife.”

Jett frowned. “I didn’t mean that. I wanted just to tell you to fuck off and make yourself some food.”

Zane slapped his knees. “Ah, Jett, my man, you’re getting in this so deep I’m not sorry if it’s funny anymore.”

“Shut up, mofo. Tell me more about how buzz cut boy gives you a bad case of blue balls. At least, I fuck.”

“Man, what can I tell you? Dan is a bit of a challenge, yeah,” Zane admitted.

“So, why don’t you drop him? I’m not exactly crazy about seeing him around April.”

Zane snorted. “Well, it’s not like we don’t do anything. It’s just like you were with April in the beginning. You know, like a week or so ago. We just jerk off together.”

Jett laughed. “Zane, you don’t jerk off. You fuck.”

Well, that was true. Apparently, not anymore. He just shrugged and smiled. “What can I say? The guy has a strong grip.” He made a small gesture with one hand, to emphasize his words. 

“What’s keeping him from jumping in bed with you, then?”

“He still likes your wife better than me,” Zane said matter-of-factly.

Jett jumped to his feet. “I knew it! That fucker, he’s now alone with April --”

Zane caught his arm. “Have some faith in April, man. He digs you, big time.”

Jett was not crazy about being kept from marching inside to save his beloved. “So he keeps saying, too.”

There seemed to be a bit of trouble in paradise. Zane knew that, as a friend, he needed to dig a bit deeper. Damn, being a relationship therapist took work. He had just upgraded himself from the sex therapy gig. “So, what’s the problem?” he asked. “Dan told me as much. He’s sure April loves you, for real, so he feels pretty down. And, you know, I’m all for comforting a broken heart. Although I can’t really remember ever talking so much about feels in my entire life.”

Jett seemed surprised. “He’s talking to you about feels?” 

Zane crossed his legs and pondered over what to say next. That was Jett he was talking to. He could confide in him if he wanted. “You know me, right?”

Jett offered a non-committal grunt in reply. 

“I was never confused. Ever since I saw River Phoenix in My Own Private Idaho, I knew I was gay. Don’t even ask me what that movie was about, though. I didn’t get a thing. I just wished I was Keanu Reeves when River said, ‘I really want to kiss you, man.’ I would’ve said ‘yes’. I was ten, and my sister didn’t know I was watching, too. She just thought herself interesting for renting arthouse movies. I think she slept through it. I didn’t.”

“Wow, thanks for the info, man,” Jett joked. “Glad you were never confused.”

“The thing is, Dan is confused. And that confuses the hell out of me. I don’t do confusion well.”

“What are you confused about? Don’t tell me you think yourself straight. Maybe it’s time you watch some artsy movies again.”

Zane laughed. “Nah, I’m not confused about that. I’m just confused over how much I want this guy. And it feels like it’s not all about getting into his pants, although there’s that, of course.”

“What? Do you want to marry buzz cut boy now?” Jett grinned.

“Shut up, asshole. Not everyone wants to tie the knot like you and April.”

“We’re not tying any knot. But your confused boyfriend better decides he likes your cock better than my boyfriend’s ass,” Jett said and pointed at himself.

“I’m working hard at it. Although I never thought myself able to listen to some dude pining over another for hours.”

“For hours? That’s it; I’m going into the house. If Dan touches April with one finger, I’m going to break his hand.”

Zane rushed after Jett into the house. “Not if it’s the right hand! That’s the better one!”

“This little party is over,” Jett said curtly. “Zane, see you tonight.” With big steps, he walked over to April and took him by his shoulders in a possessive gesture. As he kept April with his head close to his chest, he stared Dan down. 

All right. That was their cue not to overstay their welcome Zane was quick to grab Dan and bid Jett and April goodbye. 

“Wow, what happened?” Dan asked as Zane pushed him gently toward his car. He tried to look over one shoulder, but the only thing he would see was a closed door, so Zane didn’t care to indulge him.

“Nothing, but Jett has things to say to his boyfriend.”

“He seemed pissed off. What did you tell him? Will he do something bad to April?”

Zane almost had to push Dan inside the car. “Jett is pissed off all the time. That’s how he is. And do something bad to April? No way. Jett is crazy about him. Why does it take you so much to understand this?”

Dan pouted and looked ahead. “Sooner or later, April will suffer because of him.”

“And, if that happens,” Zane kicked the car engine into gear, “it’s none of your business, right?”

“Are you pissed off, too?”

“Do you think?”

“It’s not good to drive while mad or something,” Dan said, staring stubbornly ahead.

“Maybe you’re the reason while I’m mad,” Zane shot back.

“Wow, really? What have I done to you?”

Zane decided to shut his pie hole. Was Jett’s jealousy rubbing off him or something? He needed to chill. “Nothing. You’ve done nothing. So, do you want to hang out more, or should I take you home?”

“No.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Just say it clearly so that I can understand what you want.”

“I’d like to swing by your place,” Dan said in a heartbeat.

Now that was a change of tack. “Okay.”

“Aren’t you going to ask me why I want that?”

“Nah. I always go to the flow. If you want to see my place, there must be a good reason for it.”

Dan said nothing. Zane was curious, but he wouldn’t say anything anymore. The ball was in Dan’s court, and Zane only waited for a serve.

***

Zane liked his place. He was proud of it. It wasn’t a big ass house like Jett’s, but it was comfy, and it was his. The small apartment was enough for one person, but now, with Dan in it, it looked a bit too cramped. He took his time to examine Dan, who was moving slowly around the living room, taking everything in, from his manga collection to the few figurines Zane had wanted to have from the day they had been launched.

“You like sexy guys,” Dan said and pointed at one of the figurines and touched the naked torso with the tips of his fingers. 

“Who doesn’t?” Zane asked with a snort.

“How does all of this fit?” Dan gestured around. “You’re into anime; you can hold a baby so that he doesn’t cry; you always pretend to be so easygoing --”

“Pretend? Oh, never mind. What are you saying?”

Dan stopped abruptly and took a strong stance, with his legs apart, and his hands linked in front of him. “How is it possible? You seem like a cool, normal guy. Why do you have to beat up people for a living?”

Zane shrugged.

“Do your parents know?”

Now, Zane stared at Dan like he was some lunatic. “I’m not from a mafia family, or whatever you think.”

“So, why do you do it?”

“Why are you so bent on this?”

Dan took a few moments to reply. “I think what you do is dangerous,” he said in one exhale. He also set his eyes on Zane like he was waiting for an answer to that.

“It’s easy money,” Zane replied. “And it’s fun. Plus, you’re a football player, right? Don’t you like smashing into people and stuff?”

Dan appeared wounded. “There is more to football than that. It’s strategy, skill; we’re not just smashing into each other.”

“Trust me. I employ a lot of strategy and skill when I’m busting my ass off making money, too. So, what do you want, Dan?” It was high time to take the bull by the horns. 

Dan looked around some more as if he was still trying to figure out something about Zane that he couldn’t quite understand. “Wouldn’t it be easier if you quit? You must have plenty of money.”

“You want me out of a job. Why?”

“Because it’s not safe,” Dan said right away.

“Aren’t you a stubborn little wife?” Zane teased. 

Dan’s eyes grew wide. As expected, a crimson red blush followed. “I’m not your wife!”

“You surely behave like you are. Look, Dan, it’s all about a good fit, you know. Football and studying and pining over another dude’s boyfriend, that’s a good fit for you. Breaking bones and fucking around, that’s my good fit. Do you get it?”

Dan shook his head. “Is that all you want? To beat up people and fuck around?”

Zane sighed. “Do you want me to tell you my life’s story? Share with you my hopes and dreams?” The sarcasm in his voice must have been obvious.

So, the reply took him by surprise. “I do.”

For a couple of moments, he stood there, on his cozy sofa, staring at that delicious specimen of a man who was telling him, in his face, that he wanted to get to know him. 

“You know what,” Zane said, patting the place next to him, “how about you come over here, and I better show you what I like? It’s the best way to know me, right?” Somewhat reluctantly, Dan came closer and eventually sat next to him. Zane threw a casual arm over Dan’s shoulders and pulled him close. “I’m not the kind to talk about stuff like that. I’m an action guy. What do you say if I show you more stuff?”

Zane was a bit conscious that he was laying it thick. But he couldn’t just start talking like some girl. What kind of guy did that, anyway? He needed to get out of that situation, and getting Dan all hot and bothered would have to work to save his ass.

He caressed Dan’s jaw with his thumb, and by how Dan’s breath grew a bit hitched and labored, just a tiny bit, really, he knew his touch had the desired effect.

“Are you going to fuck me?” Dan blurted out all of a sudden.

Zane stopped. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. But he wasn’t the guy not to jump to an opportunity like that when it presented itself. “Sure,” he said, pretending to be all cool and as if he had been the one to play that all alone.

At the back of his mind, there was a small niggling thought. Dan had wanted to come by his place, and he was basically asking for it right now. Maybe he was being played a little. Maybe. A little.

Dan’s embarrassment over his answer was obvious, though. If it had been a plan, it surely hadn’t been well laid out. “How are we going to do it?” Dan rubbed his hands together and looked anxious.

Zane caressed his cheek some more, trying to soothe him. “First, you’ll have to relax. That’s the first rule.”

“I don’t think I can,” Dan said with a small nervous laugh.

“Sure thing you can. I just need to take care of you. Let’s move to the bedroom, and I’ll make sure that you’re completely comfortable. What do you say?”

Dan just nodded, and the crimson red of his cheeks was spreading. 

Zane couldn’t help himself and placed a gentle kiss on Dan’s lips. “Do you have any idea just how adorable you are, right now?”

Dan laughed again.

Zane stood up and offered him his hand to pull Dan to his feet again. “Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll do just fine.”

Dan stopped him for a moment, with a short squeeze of the hand. It was just a tiny reminder that, despite his shy and confused attitude, Dan was pretty strong. “How do you know that?”

“Know what?”

“You know. That it, um, fits,” Dan whispered, and his eyes darted to the side.

Zane pulled him into a hug. “Trust me. I know a good fit when I see one.”

TBC

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