Taming A Jerk - Ch. 2 (Box Shaped Heart Side Story, Patreon Exclusive) (Patreon)

Chapter Two – Back To Married Life

“Simulation number 352,” the device spoke in its flat, robotic tone.

Alex groaned and stretched on the bench that seemed surprisingly comfortable. So far, he had been more than displeased with what the settings he had introduced to the machine and their results. But, on the upside, he felt no tiredness, and no hunger, so it seemed like he could go on like that forever.

Only that it seemed that each time he had thought he had found the perfect parameters for his own personal world, at the end of each simulation, the unpleasant feelings on which he had no intention to dwell continued to leave a bitter taste in his mouth.

“How is it going, Alex?” the woman opened the door to her office and stared at him.

“Absolutely fabulous,” he replied.

“I must give you points for being relentless,” the woman said again.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, narrowing his eyes, and glaring at her.

“Most people, by this point, long realize what’s missing. Yet, you’re so stubborn in proving someone wrong. Who is it, Alex?” the woman asked, still peeking at him from the door.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he mumbled and looked away.

“I told you. Honesty never hurt anyone.”

“Yeah, right. I can give you thousands of examples of people telling the truth and getting the short end of the stick for it,” he replied.

“I was talking about honesty toward oneself.”

“Whatevs. And I know for a fact that lying pays off much, much better. I wouldn’t be where I am without being able to lie, as you say. I actually don’t like that word. I’d say it takes a special kind of guy to be able to manipulate the truth and use it to his own advantage,” he continued his train of thought, and his eyes returned to the screen to watch simulation number 352.

“And where are you exactly, Alex?”

“Sorry?” he blinked and looked at her.

“Where are you? You said you wouldn’t be where you are without being able to lie.”

“Well, I have an amazing career, a filthy rich husband, and everything I want. I drive a Spyder, by the way,” he said with aplomb. 

“Hmm,” the woman smiled.

It was unnerving how she was standing there, in the door, judging him with that sweet smile of hers and kindness filled eyes. 

“And what would that mean?” he said, exasperated.

“You’re here, Alex. That’s the only place you are right now. And here, there is no career, no rich husband, and no Spyder to drive around.”

“Oh, damn, it’s like I’m with a shrink,” he rolled his eyes. “I feel damn good in my own skin. Is that what you want to hear? Being Alex Ruskin is the thing. The best thing ever.”

“Miller. Alex Miller. That’s your real name, dear.”

“Whatever,” he shrugged. “Do you mind? I’m busy perfecting my little world,” he gestured at the device in his hand.

“Perfecting? So are you close?” the woman questioned. 

“Yes. Definitely close.”

“Here, lying doesn’t help, Alex. C’mon, tell me what doesn’t work.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” he exclaimed. “Really, you’re so bent on making me say whatever it is that you want me to say!”

“And what is that?” the woman’s smile grew larger.

“How should I know? I’m not in your head!”

“Then you’re going at this in circles.”

“I’m not going at anything in circles! Everything is fine! It’s perfect! I know exactly what I want!”

It took him a few seconds to realize he was practically screaming. He cooled down right away and set his eyes on the device in his hands, decided to ignore his host. 

“What is it that you want, Alex?”

“Seriously,” he mumbled. “Anyone would take a hint by now, but not you. Please, leave me alone so that I could focus.”

“All right. I’ll let you be, but just a little more,” the woman said.

“Why just a little more?” he asked. “Do you need to give the device to someone else? Is there some time limit? I’m not done with it!”

All right, he sounded like a hysterical person now. But he didn’t want to let go of the thing that could offer him everything he wanted and that only if he eventually managed to get the settings right. 

“Your overseer would never forgive me if I let you play with that dangerous thing for long,” the woman replied with another smile.

That sugary grin was making him sick. As if the woman was caring for him or something. He could not stand false affection, as he was well aware that people used it only to get something in return. Oh, he knew that all very well. 

“Wait, dangerous?!” he yelled, and almost threw the thing to the ground, as soon as the woman’s words caught up with him. “Why didn’t you tell me that when you gave it to me?”

“Because I was expecting you to get tired of it by now, just like anyone else,” came the prompt reply.

“I am not like anyone else,” he said with a small scoff.

“That I see. You obviously have an unhealthy obsession to destroy yourself,” the woman said, and this time, she wasn’t smiling anymore. 

“Now where did that come from?” he opened his arms wide. “I’m not trying to destroy myself!”

“That came from you, Alex. Here, in the In-Between, people can look inside themselves and see who they truly are.”

“What a bunch of bs,” he mumbled, and pursed his lips. “So I can’t use this anymore?” he gestured at the device.

“It would be for the best not to. You already look a little pale. That thing is getting at you. Also, you have dark circles around your eyes.”

“What are you talking about?” he protested and touched his face.

His skin was still smooth, but it was like his face was a bit gaunter than what he remembered. 

“You’re lying to me, hoping that I’ll do whatever you want me to do,” he added.

“And what is that, Alex?” the woman asked in her motherly voice. 

“I don’t know!” he exclaimed. “And please, just leave this thing to me a little more. It’s all I need.”

“All right,” the woman agreed. “Just a few more simulations. But, after that, I’ll have to take it away from you.”

“Okay, thank you,” he said with a sigh. 

“Are you interested about what’s going on with your body as we speak?” the woman questioned him. 

“My body?” he asked, frowning. “You mean, my body that currently has that homophobe Carter Malis inside it?”

“Yes, that body, and no, Carter Malis is not a homophobe,” the woman said.

“You obviously haven’t seen one of those around here,” he said through his teeth. “All right, how’s the … guy doing?”

“Actually, pretty well. He currently has your career on a roll, and he’s fixing your marriage to Aron.”

“My career is already on a roll, and my marriage … There’s nothing to fix about it.”

“Are you sure? Aron is far from being happy with you.”

“So what? People don’t marry to be happy,” he snorted.

“Oh,” the woman acted surprised. “Why do people marry then?”

“Well, they marry … because they want certain things,” he gestured, feeling a bit at a loss.

“Aron wants to be happy. And that’s why he married you. Also, he wants to make you happy.”

“Well, he’s not doing a great job,” Alex set his chin high. “Seriously, he’s loaded, and he’s not buying me everything I need. I always have to insist and insist and insist …”

“Aron bought you the Spyder,” the woman pointed out.

“Yeah, like two months after the wedding. And after that? What else?” he said aggressively.

“Aron is rich, compared to other people, Alex, but it’s not like his pockets are bottomless pits filled with cash. Have you ever thought about the financial effort he had made to give you that car as a present?”

“What financial effort?” Alex shrugged. “He has the money. He’s just all too …”

“Responsible?” the woman supplied sympathetically.

“No,” Alex denied right away. “A cheapskate. Yeah. That’s what he is.”

“Who bought the house you live in, Alex?” the woman continued her interrogation.

“Aron,” he replied with a shrug.

“And who pays for everything, from bills to groceries?”

Alex’s eyes narrowed again.

“So he pays for all these trifle things. Well, he should. He got married.”

“To you. What’s your responsibility in this marriage?”

“Hello, I’m me,” he pointed at himself.

“Hmm,” the woman pursed her lips and shook her head as if she disagreed with him.

“Yes, I’m me, and Aron should be grateful. Because it’s not like I would have married anyone. And I’m not just letting anyone have me. And …”

“Why do you need Simon for, then?” the woman suddenly came off the left field, taking him by surprise.

“It’s because,” he stopped for a second. “Because Aron doesn’t want to buy me all the things I need.”

“Need? Do you really need a diamond dust treatment for your skin?” the woman asked, visibly amused.

“Yes, I do. My face is my livelihood if you didn’t know,” he said icily. “So I need to keep it in great shape.”

“All people grow old, Alex,” the woman said patiently. “You cannot stay young and beautiful forever.”

“Like hell, I can’t,” he said triumphantly. “Ah, that’s exactly what’s missing from my simulation.”

The woman said nothing and just stood in the door, watching him, as he began to punch in the new settings he now knew he needed for his perfect world. As the simulation started running, though, he began to feel like a giant claw was turning his insides out, and there was something in his eyes, making them all itchy. 

At the end of the simulation, he was crying for real. And it was like he could not stop.

He almost jumped when a warm hand touched his shoulder. A tissue was pushed under his nose, and he took it with a small mumbled ‘thank you’. 

“Alex, you’re looking for happiness in the wrong places,” the woman said, squeezing his shoulder lightly. 

“But,” he tried to protest. “It’s … what I know,” he whispered.

“You only have to open your eyes. Understand what you’re doing wrong.”

“Are you sure? I mean, it’s only when people praise me for my looks, and when they give me things, and when I have money, that I feel good. So it can’t be that wrong, can it?” 

“I’m not saying it’s an easy thing to do,” the woman continued to caress his shoulder. “But you can try. There’s a lesson here, for you. But you must be willing to embrace it. To admit that you need to change something about yourself.”

“But …” he trailed off. “I must be perfect. All the time.”

The woman laughed.

“And do you really think you’re perfect? Come on, Alex, be honest. What do your colleagues at work say about you?”

“Basically, that I’m a total bitch,” he said with a sigh.

“And Aron. What do you think he believes about you? Don’t forget that he is doing his best. But what are some objections he’s telling you?”

“He’s annoyed that I’m not like … that guy.”

“Hmm, I doubt he tells you that,” the woman pursed her lips again. “But Aron wants to be your husband, any feelings he might have for his best friend aside. And you must meet him halfway.”

“Aron will always love that guy,” Alex pouted. “I just know it. And no one can live up to those standards,” he insisted.

“Aron will always have feelings for his best friend. That’s right. But that doesn’t mean that he cannot love you.”

“But I cannot love him!” he replied right away.

“Ah, finally, some honesty,” the woman patted his shoulder. “Why can’t you love Aron, Alex? Is the man that unlovable?”

“No, but, I guess … he’s just … not the one for me,” Alex looked down. 

“So, wouldn’t it be better to let him go?” the woman said with a warm smile.

“Let him go?” he murmured, considering the possibility. “No way,” he frowned. “I’m not letting that guy have him!”

“Why not? If you don’t love Aron,” the woman pointed out.

“Yeah, but …”

“Alex, if you want Aron’s love, you must offer yours in return. That was what was missing from all your simulations. In none of them, have you thought about others’ feelings. So, unfortunately, if you want to set things right, when you return, you should just simply let Aron go and be happy. Regardless of whom he chooses to be with.”

“No,” he shook his head energetically. “I worked hard to get Aron.”

“Did you?” the woman chuckled. 

“You have no idea! I had to pretend …”

“Oh, you had to pretend!” the woman laughed for real this time. “Alex, your marriage is a sham. Just let it go. Be true to yourself. Tell Simon how you really feel.”

“Simon?! What’s he got to do with anything?”

“You like the man, Alex. More than you have ever liked anyone, in your entire life. For all the lies you say, he’s honest. Anything you ask, he’s giving it to you. And he puts up with you, just as you are. Come on, you can tell me. How does all that make you feel?”

“Like I found the perfect guy to give me what I want,” he shrugged.

“Are you sure? Because you could go after other guys. Richer. Simon gives you everything he has, no matter how silly that is. Also, he’s a really good looking guy, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, I have standards,” Alex nodded defiantly. “Aron’s good looking, too.”

“Yet, you prefer Simon. Why?”

“You said it yourself. Because he gives me everything I want.”

“Is that really all?” the woman insisted.

“Yes, that’s really all,” he sighed.

“So, you like things how they are. Married to Aron, sneaking behind his back with Simon … and oh, what about side gigs?”

“What side gigs?” Alex pursed his lips.

“You know, what your mom insisted on so many times. Side gigs. Guys you can use once in a while.”

“I’m not that crazy about side gigs,” he replied, a bit clipped.

“Yet you go around promising sexual favors when you smell there’s a gain.”

“Are you trying to say I’m a whore?” Alex exclaimed.

“I’m not trying to say anything. I’m just stating facts.”

“Well, side gigs … are just a necessity,” he mumbled.

“You don’t like doing that,” the woman said matter-of-factly. “Going home to Aron every day has its perks. Your husband takes care of everything, and that gives you a sense of security, right?”

He knew he could just lie. But now he did feel tired. So he mumbled a positive reply to that.

“And Simon. He’s what keeps you grounded when you’re at work, right? His unconditional adoration makes you feel safe outside your home.”

“Something like that,” he whispered.

“But other men …”

“I can’t stand other men, all right?” he almost yelled this time. 

“And why is that, Alex?”

“I can’t stand them! I just can’t! It’s disgusting how they …”

He stopped, breathing heavily. 

“Aron and Simon are good people, Alex. Do right by them. Don’t go around doing whatever someone else told you that you should do, okay?”

He nodded and used the tissue to pat his eyes.

“I’m glad you’re coming along,” the woman said with a relieved sigh. 

“And Aron, what’s he doing right now?” he asked.

“Well, he’s actually quite happy with the new version of a husband he got,” the woman smiled.

Alex could feel a headache coming up again. 

“Happy, huh?” he worked his jaw a little in annoyance.

“Come on, Alex, we were just making a breakthrough,” the woman scolded him.

“Oh, please,” he looked away. “That guy is stealing my husband right now. Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”

“He’s not stealing anyone. Aron was never yours, Alex. You never wanted him, to begin with.”

“Can I return to my body already?” he crossed his arms over his chest, pulling himself tight.

“I told you, there is this body swap snafu. Certain conditions must be met …”

Suddenly, the woman jumped to her feet. It seemed as if she was trying to listen to something.

“Alex, the higher-ups want to see you. Sorry about that, I had no idea,” she apologized, and she snapped her fingers.

He was in a large room in an instant, in front of a long table at which several men and women sat, whispering to one another. 

“Ah, Alex is here,” one man who seemed the most important of them all noticed. “Well, Alex, we don’t have a lot of time, so we will be short. There are chances that you will return to your body very soon.”

“Thank heavens,” he sighed, exhaling all the air from his lungs, “this thing really felt creepy. So, off I go?” he asked, and stood up from the chair he had been teleported to.

“Please, sit,” the man insisted.

He sat right away as if an invisible hand was pushing him back in his chair. 

“First, we hope your stay with us was enough to at least have you think about your life choices. Second, you now have plenty of information at your disposal to make the right choice.”

“Wait, what am I supposed to choose? From what alternatives?”

“You’ll know when the time comes. Now, stop interrupting,” the man wagged the finger at him. “Three, you’re not allowed to speak about where you’ve really been all this time.”

“Or else?” he dared to ask.

“Or else you die,” the man said with a smile much like the first woman’s. 

Sugary and extra kind. Annoying like hell.

“Oh, great,” he murmured. “So can I ask a question?”

“Go ahead,” the man invited him to speak up.

“Is it really Carter’s fault I’m here and forced to go through all this mental torture?” he gestured.

“Fault is not the right word. He is the cause if that’s what you’re asking.”

“That guy,” Alex began tapping one foot. “So he caused the accident, somehow, and now he’s stealing my husband!”

“No one can steal from you what has never been yours, Alex,” the man said, with judgmental eyes.

“Tell that to your mom,” Alex clapped back right away.

The man’s eyes grew wide, and the others began whispering among them, once more. 

“Don’t you want to know about the accident?”

“Yeah, I want to know about the accident! What the hell happened?”

“You were about to be run over by a fire truck.”

“Oh, great, and what happened?” he asked aggressively.

The man seemed to exchange knowing looks with the others. 

“You’ll learn everything about it at the right moment.” 

“What was the point to make me ask about it then? Wait, so Carter causes the accident, I’m about to be run over … Oh, I know exactly what happened!” he shouted.

“No, you don’t, Alex.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“No, you don’t,” the man contradicted him again.

“He pushed me!” he yelled. “I’m sure of it. Did he push me?” he asked, feeling a bit less sure as the man’s kind eyes were measuring him and probably deemed him unfit.

“You don’t know anything about the accident, and you will learn about it at the right time.”

“When will it be the right time, then?” he mumbled.

“Unfortunately, not now. Your overseer will come to see you as soon as he’s available. Don’t forget what we told you, Alex. We mean it.”

“About …”

“Don’t talk about this place. There are no second warnings.”

These people were all acting warm and kind, but they were mean for real. They were scaring him. 

“All right. Now what?” he asked, setting his chin high.

“Now, please, Alex, have a cookie,” the first woman from the white room hurried with a plate filled with chocolate chip cookies.

“Are they fat-free? Why should I have a cookie?” he asked, feeling annoyed with those people already.

“It would just make you feel better, that’s all.”

“I’m as fine as I can be.”

“Not for now, but for the road,” the woman smiled.

He reached for the plate, not yet convinced, and well aware that he had gotten no answer to his question about the cookies being fat-free or not when the room suddenly flipped.

Instinctively, he closed his eyes.

Only to open them, and find himself staring at a guy lying down on a hospital bed, with all kinds of machinery hooked to him. Wait, was that …?

“Alex, Alex, are you all right?”

Aron’s concerned voice sounded like coming through a mass of water. 

Oh, damn. The guy on the bed was Carter Malis. And he was … himself. And Aron was shaking him, making him dizzy.

“Carter, you’re awake?” Aron turned toward the man on the bed.

“That awful man pushed me in front of the car!” he yelled, pointing at the guy who was having the sudden decency to faint that very moment while mumbling something.

A nurse was coming through the door like a battery ram, and soon, other people in white were hurrying to tend to the patient while he stood there, paralyzed, and feeling slightly dizzy.

Was this a trick? Was it another simulation? But no, somehow, everything now felt … real. He stared at his hands. They started shaking.

“He pushed me,” he mumbled to himself. “I’m sure he pushed me!” he said louder this time.

Aron grabbed him by one arm and was now trying to make him out of the room, as the medical personnel swarmed around.

“Alex, what the hell has gotten into you?” Aron said through his teeth. “What are you talking about?”

“That man pushed me in front of the car!” Alex protested, like a miffed child, who wanted to convince adults of his wishes, no matter how unjust they were. 

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Aron whispered, obviously trying to have him stop yelling.

“He pushed me, he pushed me, he pushed me!” he yelled like a broken record.

“Gentlemen, please, we need to take care of the patient, now. If you just stepped out …” a nurse spoke.

“That man pushed me!” Alex yelled at her while shaking off Aron’s grip and pointing an accusing finger at the man on the bed.

The nurse opened her mouth, her eyebrows shot up in surprise, then she frowned and went out the door, to yell for someone to come.

Alex was pretty confident he didn’t like the look on the other nurse walking into the room, armed with a syringe, and focused on him.

“Mr. Ruskin, you seem to have a little episode,” she smiled at him and raised the syringe.

“What the hell?” he protested when the woman just grabbed his arm and stabbed it with the needle. “Aron!” he turned toward his husband.

By the clouds gathering on Aron’s forehead, he could not count on help from that part. He winced and groaned as the woman did her job.

“Now, let’s rest for a little while,” the nurse guided him out of the room, with Aron following close.

***

Alex felt pretty much chastised once back home with Aron, but it was not like he could admit that he had been wrong in his accusations. Especially since he had no idea whether he was wrong or not.

“Would you please tell me what happened there?” Aron looked at him with accusing eyes.

He turned his head and looked away, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Ah, damn it, how could I be such a fool?” Aron said with bitterness. “All this time, I thought that we were on the mend. That you were starting actually to give a damn about our marriage. Now, please tell me, was it all a game to you? All this time? Giving me what I wanted only so that you could take it back whenever you felt like it? And what the hell changed your determination to play the real husband part this time?”

“I can’t believe it,” Alex almost hissed. “So you don’t trust me. You don’t think I’m telling the truth!”

“Alex, until a few hours ago, you kept telling me you could not remember the accident. We go to visit Carter, and you tell me all these fancy lies about how you are going to try to be friends with my best friend, and suddenly, you flip on me?”

“Flip on you?!” Alex exclaimed. “Just to be sure, what the hell are you talking about? What fancy lies?”

“Alex,” Aron said in a threatening tone. “You can’t play the amnesia card anytime you want! Do you think I’m that stupid? I know for sure that you’ve been taking me for a fool for a while now, but, after these weeks …”

Aron pursed his lips. Alex’s ears twitched. What the hell happened during the body swap? What the hell had Carter Malis done to make Aron so upset right now? Usually, a little bout of hysteria was not enough to disturb Aron. Maybe make him a little annoyed, but not like this.

“After these weeks, what?” he asked. 

“You got me so fooled, I can’t believe it,” Aron threw his arms away from his body as if he was fed up with everything. “But Alex, I must say, from all the time in our life together, at least you played me well this time. I really thought you loved me.”

There was real pain there, and Alex began to feel a little guilty. What had that woman said? That Carter was fixing his marriage? Like how?

“What of what I did made you think that?” he asked, his voice a tad strained.

“Oh, jeez, Alex, I don’t know,” Aron said with a sigh. “Maybe how we made love almost every day for the last week or so. How you wanted to be on top for a change. How we chased down together that reporter that made public our sex tape. How we … just talked.”

Top? Sex tape? Reporter? Talk? Alex could feel the room spinning around him, or it was only him who was getting dizzy with all those incredible revelations. So Carter Malis had been a busy little bee all this time; he felt like grinding his jaw. Damn, he really had his work cut out for him. But, first things first, he really needed to chill. And calm down Aron, too.

“Hey,” he moved slowly and touched Aron’s arm tentatively, “I’m … sorry, okay? I just … I remembered the accident and …”

Aron moved away from him.

“If you plan on keeping it up with that story, maybe you should do a little better. Because I know you’re lying.”

Alex bit his lips, hard. Damn, Carter Malis had just gone and ruined his husband for him. Aron was rarely so categorical with him.

He hurried after Aron.

“We’re not sleeping in the same bed until you’ve come to your senses,” Aron said as he pushed open the door to the bedroom. 

Alex stood there, baffled. Aron came back with a blanket and a pillow and pushed them into his arms. 

“I think the sofa you chose is much more suitable as sleeping arrangements for you than me,” Aron said and closed the door in his face.

Alex pursed his lips in annoyance. He was so going to kill Carter Malis for this.

TBC

Author's note:

I hope you guys are enjoying Alex and his journey so far. Although this story will touch the main story line once in a while, I will not focus on repeating those scenes since Alex's soul searching should take the stage.

In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying the chilly season.

Hugs,

Laura