Life update (Patreon)

What’s been done?

• Released BenX 0.05
• Released XIX first build
  • Should slowly open up to lower tiers and eventually the public ^^
• Some Ecchi Sensei stuffs
• Scream at things, mostly Renpy though

So… Uhm.. Hey.. It’s been a while since I last wrote a report.. I was too stressed out before BenX’s release and after that guilt got the better of me.. And then I just didn’t know what to write anymore. So instead of writing a progress report, I decided to write (you may have guessed it) a life update.

While a lot has happened workwise, I’ve forgotten most of it so it would be hard to write a proper progress report.. That, and I’ve not been doing too well mentally, causing me to not work as much as I’d like to.. I decided to give BenX a bit of a break so I could focus on other projects.. And while that worked out well enough for XIX, it was a different story for Ecchi Sensei.. I’ve done some work on it but it’s been getting harder and harder for me..

Ecchi Sensei is a beast. It’s a big project that I came into at a very late stage and a big part of my job is to optimize everything. This is the easier part, most of the things have been optimized either by simply implementing some loops or by redesigning parts of it. The harder part has been fixing and adding new features. The main issue here is that it’s not my project, I’m still learning how some of the things work to this day.. And when my stuff has to depend on existing systems, it can be quite a hassle. There’s been some specific requests to make it easier on Blue that have given me some problems as well. They’re good tools for him, it’s just that Renpy doesn’t always like his ideas.. T.T

With how I’ve been lately, it’s just been.. Too overwhelming. Just thinking about Ecchi Sensei could give me anxiety.. So while I intended to work on XIX and Ecchi Sensei at the same time.. I ended up mostly working on XIX because it’s a new project and I’m there from the start. This wasn’t without issue however.. The stress of BenX had slowly grinded away any patience I had left.. And turns out that when you need specifics from someone who’s first language isn’t English, patience is kind of important.. So yea.. That was a whole ride.. A very unpleasant one for Mup I imagine, cause I’ve not been a great “driver” lately..

Non-work stuff

I finished group therapy, so.. That’s something.. I guess.. But I feel like it was helpful, it gave some new insight and made me feel less bad about some things. Not sure where to go from here though, they gave us some tools to work with but on my own.. It’s not gonna be great.. So it was decided I’d get some homecare, someone to come by once in a while, drag me out of the house and talk about my development. Sadly though, this will be a while, the waiting list is several months long.. So for now, I’ll have a normal therapy session once a month-ish.. To ensure I don’t jump off a building or something xD

“Thoughts are like forest paths, some are a wide open path, cause they are travelled often.. But others are an overgrown mess, cause they never get walked on.” - Summary of something my therapist said.

So, right now, I have these wide open paths that are filled with anger and depression. These are often unwarranted and I was given a method to “challenge” these thoughts. Is it reasonable to have such a thought at the time? No? Then what is?.. By repeating this often enough, it should open up a new path and over time the old one should close up and I’ll only be taking this one.. Challenging these thoughts can be difficult though and the process takes time.. A lot of time.. So don’t expect me to be a less angry rooster anytime soon =<

What’s next?

BenX

• Port to Renpy 7.4
  • Has caused weird issues before
• Update the dev tool to use the new doll system
• Add scenes to the dev tool
• Add backgrounds and music to the dev tool
• Change speaker from the dev tool
• Allow new lines from inside the dev tool
• Combat Gwen

Ecchi Sensei

• More optimization!

Creative

• Follow more Blender tutorials
  • Maybe stream them again?
• More HS scene stuff? Maybe DAZ?
  • It’s been a while..

So, what’s on the schedule then? Well, I plan to return to BenX again, slowly. Before continuing work on the dev tool, I want to port the game to 7.4 since it has a lot of nifty new features.. However, when I tried just loading it up in 7.4.. All kinds of weird unexplainable shit happened.. The major one being, doll parts just not changing when their variables change.. So.. Yea, that’s fun to figure out.. I’ll be giving myself a week or so to figure it out and if I haven’t fixed it by then, well.. We’ll stick with the older version (sadly =<).. Other than that, more work on the dev tool for a while, so Newman can get back to working inside the game again.

While I do plan on working on BenX again, my main focus will be finishing up Ecchi Sensei. I’ve been close to finishing up for months now.. I’ve just been too much of a mess to actually finish it up.. Hoping that with XIX out of the way I can actually focus again though. Cause I’ve let down Blue enough lately =<

And of course, more Blender stuff is on there.. I’m going to try and do some more tutorials in my down time.. I haven’t finished the donut one yet, but I’ve seen some other interesting ones and maybe the donut one just isn’t for me.. Not right now at least.. Started it like a year ago and been doing it on and off.. Causing me to forget a bunch and also lose interest.. The autist in me wants to finish it.. But at this point.. I think it might be good to maybe do something else first.. Maybe do some more HS stuff in between as well.. Or try something in DAZ? I dunno.. Feel like I should be doing something.. For the patrons at least..

See you in the next one (which should come sooner than this one did T.T),
A recovering Akanoes