What is Success, Really? And How Do You Get More of It? (Patreon)

Hey, friend.

Come rap with me a little.

Now, we all know what the definition of success is: to crush our enemies, to see them driven before us, and to hear the lamentation of their women. I mean, this is...this is basic stuff.

But seriously though, what is success?

We tend to think of success as:

• getting what you want, and/or
• doing things in the way you planned

This is not success, though: this is expectation-matching, which is a wonderful thing (I love the punctuality of Japanese trains, even if I often avoid riding them because of them crowds) but is not the same thing as success.

So, what is success?

Success is things not going your way and you not doing things as planned but you still somehow doing other helpful things and eventually getting something almost as good as or sometimes even better than what you originally wanted. 

What we call success never goes quite as we planned. And I hate that shiz. Let me not sit here and tell you that I'm all philosophical and like things not going my way. When service people get my order wrong, I'm finna choke a motherlover. Now, I never tell them that or show any signs of being upset; I always smile and thank them and maintain decorum -- civilization is built on civility -- but in my heart and mind, there is a veritable whirlwind of uncharitable emotions and unutterable phrases, juuuust spinnin' around.

Back in the day, I used to talk about succeeding despite things going wrong. But I no longer believe that that's a good way of putting it. Succeeding despite things going wrong is like breathing despite the air being full of nitrogen -- that's just how things go.

And don't mistake this for the rugged, jaded pessimism of age. It's definitely saltier than the sweetness of toddlerhood, but it's still sweet. The fact is, I have always gotten everything I have ever wanted in life, sooner or later. Every single thing. Every toy, every experience, every meaningful achievement, every piece of status [stop acting surprised: you already know I'm that shallow]. But not always on my ideal timetable (which, let's face it, is a pretty harsh schedule, because I always want everything "right now!!!!").

That is a pretty optimistic global record, but it's like the stock market -- it never moves smoothly. There's a lot of local pessimism, downs to go with the ups; the downs never win in the end, but they don't eff around, and things get hairy. It's a bumpy-a$$ ride, despite our best efforts to smooth it out. And you kind of have to be okay with that if you want to get anywhere. It's like going on safari -- the roads aren't always smooth. But you wanna go on safari, so you go. If you want no bumps, you stay home; you stay in the city.

Ships are safest in harbor but that's not what ships are for, and all that.

So, my little cock-a-roach, don't be upset that things are going wrong. That's how things go. But you keep crawling like a cute little bug. Move forward anyway. And remember: success is things not going your way and you not doing things as planned but you still somehow doing other helpful things and eventually getting something almost as good as or sometimes even better than what you originally wanted. 

:)

You see, Mr. Anderson (lol), the problem with movies is that they're too smooth. Even when they show some failure, some bumps, you can only show so much in 90-120 minutes. It's like showing, again, a 100-year graph of the stock market: anyone can be calm on that scale; it's being calm down in the "trenches" of the graph that's the trick. 

That's why I read biographies these days -- of great men, good and bad -- all the detail, all the self-doubt, all the mundanity, all the quotidianity. You really see how it took being both a dreamer and a doer -- often not in the proportions that the outside world recommends -- sometimes, you've got to dream when the world says "do", and sometimes, you've got to do when the world says "[keep] dream[in']!"

Life isn't a highlight reel. Nor is it a montage. It is more like a chaotic graph that seems random, directionless, unpredictable and uncontrollable, but to which, with some imagination and self-belief, you can bring purpose, direction and, yes, success.

Aim to fail, grasshopper.