Scrooge and the F-Bomb (Patreon)

You are a B-52. A gigantic, hyper-powerful bomber, loaded with a limited complement of the most powerful weapons human beings have yet devised, no, not nuclear weapons: F-bombs. The ability to give a f...an eff.

Every day you take off from BAFB: Bedroom Air Force Base. And you go out and fly your missions. Not all B-52 bombers are the same, but they're all alike.

Why have nuclear weapons only been deployed twice in the entire time they have existed? Because you can't just go around using that kind of weapon. Too powerful. 

Similarly, f-bombs are not something you can just go around dropping willy-nilly. Using them gets results, but also causes massive damage all around. And the benefits may not outweigh the drawbacks. So you've got to save the f-bombs. Default to not using them. Default to not giving an eff. Save your effs for that rare moment when they really matter. You'll know when it is. And when it comes, bombs away. But don't be trigger-happy. Maybe the moment won't come tod...You know what? This metaphor is breaking down. I'm embarrassed for even having written it down. Maybe just good old bullets (rounds) in a Gatling gun or something are a better analogy than nuclear ordinance. 

The point is, if you blow your proverbial load on meaningless shiz, you'll have nothing left for what really matters. Save it. Save the bullets. Save the load, Mr. Frodo. Save the f-bombs. Keep them locked up. Fire sparingly, if at all. Be an F-bomb miser. Be the Scrooge of giving effs. Humbug, motherbugger.