Updates, Redundancy, and Sea Shanties (Patreon)

Hello Everyone!

A little less than two months ago I began playing Assassins Creed: Odyssey. It's an amazing game that has provided fantastic escapism from our current reality-- but there's one aspect of it that chilled me to my very core when I thought about it a little too deeply. In the game, you can ride across the Mediterranean sea all around Greece, and along the way you're assaulted by various ships. But that's not the point. Whenever you reach safe harbor, your crew-- gaily singing and shuffling around the deck mechanically-- retreats into designated areas.  Some hang their legs over the edge of the ship, while others stand idly. But it is the view of the crew members who descend into the depths of the ship that transfixed me. As a player, you do not see the below decks of the ship, it's just implied to be there. It was midway through my gameplay when I really began paying attention (around the time that the governor of Georgia said he didn't know that Covid-19 was asymptomatic). The sight of the doors snapping closed as the crew members descended into an unknown abyss, singing their haunting Greek sea shanty, made me feel uneasy. 

Perhaps it was my extremely short foray into Westworld*, perhaps it was the premium weed I was smoking-- or a combination of both-- but either way, I felt a pang of sadness for the fictional crew members, who exist on an endless loop of fighting, singing sea shanties, and retreating below deck until it's time to be called up for more fighting and sea shanties. This desolate reality has been playing like a creepy horror show vignette in the back of my mind for a few weeks now. Just like everyone else, I'm trying to adjust to the new COVID-19 reality. Time seems to be moving quickly as hell (an excellent article explains why) and nothing I do seems substantial or important. I wake up, I sadly scroll the news, eat, try to get work done, and then when I finally complete about 35-40% of what I'd usually do, I reach for something entertaining. But my sea shanties aren't as entertaining as they were at the beginning of the self-isolation period. I don't want to watch TV, I don't feel like reading, and video games are losing their appeal. This is tacked onto the fact that I miss my family members and friends, and internet discussions have become more redundant than ever-- so my socialization bar is depleting. I haven't had a hug since February 11th. (yes, I know it's weird that I know that lol). So after a long day of feeling restless, stressed, useless, and ultimately guilty, I go to sleep, retreating below-deck before it's time to be called up and do it all over again.

But I refuse to live the life of the sad crew members of Assasins Creed: Odyssey. For the past few weeks in order to break the redundancy of self-isolation, I've tried to make some changes and achieve goals that aren't exclusively career-based.  I've been running on a trail, which is a good habit but only takes up an hour of my day. I've found mild stimulation in cooking my random food desires, from thick and crispy onion rings to 5AM platters of catfish and grits. Though I hate dishes with everything in me, trying out new recipes has been a great stress reliever. I've been re-decorating and moving around furniture. I'm planning on painting my bedroom. I'm trying out tarot cards for fun. I've been doing really crappy drawings of food and body parts, and I even started doing coloring books. Once I began doing these random things whenever the mood struck, I began doing more work as well. I'm not saying trying random new things is the key, but it has certainly helped me tremendously. I'm now considering grabbing crochet needles and yarn.

I can't remember if I told you guys before, but from August to September of this year I was supposed to complete a road trip docuseries for Intelexual Media. I have an investor with a five-figure budget and it was something I've been planning and researching since Spring 2019. COVID-19 ruined that whole plan, and I've had to alter my content and research schedule accordingly. It's been quiet around here recently but I'm excited to share that I'll be releasing some new content this month, and I'm researching and preparing for the next few months as well. Lexual Does The 70s: Cults, Crime, and Culture is currently in post-production. It is my FAVORITE episode of the series thus far and it's dedicated to my mom, a child of the 70s. The episode is cool because it's about life for kids in the 70s, and how the dangers they faced and lived through would partially fuel Family Values rhetoric. My video editor should have it complete by next Monday. I'm also filming a new episode of Lexual Says this weekend and writing a doozy of an episode on rape culture in hip hop and the black community. Depending on my abilities, I may also complete a video for the Celebritea series and another on televangelism. If I don't complete them this month, they'll be ready in June. Another project I'm working on for the longterm is turning some fan-favorite Intelexual Media essays into videos, including Racist White Women: An American Legacy and Fuck The Pledge of Allegiance, so I can reach a new audience on youtube. 

If experts are to be believed, there will be a resurgence of COVID-19 cases in the coming weeks because of idiotic state and local governments rolling back their social distancing regulations. Losers have been protesting in the streets for the right to once again under-tip their servers and yell at hair salon employees, demanding that America needs to open back up.  The lack of precaution isn’t just “white shit" either. These people and the others (yes, black people like my neighbors who invite motherfuckers over for cookouts and host block parties, I'm looking at you) are the reason why I believe social distancing culture will continue until atleast Fall of this year, if not through the end of the year. While I always prepare for the worst, I am not pleased about it. I hope that my current strategy of doing random things that feel fulfilling (even if they aren't ultimately lucrative or productive) will keep me productive and mentally healthy in the long run. This is where I could quote one of the endless and highly accurate hot-take tweets about how social distancing is exposing our rigid devotion to capitalism. It's crazy how I feel guilty about not being 100% productive during a FUCKING PANDEMIC, but here we are. 

Thanks for reading this freestyled entry of hope and hopelessness. If you would like to share how you're dealing with the realities of COVID-19, or just want to ask me about video games because you're an obsessive gamer, feel free to do so in the comments! <3

*I stopped watching Westworld after the first season because it was too cerebral for me, before you attack me! Lol

Bonus: Listen to the sea shanty from Assasins Creed Odyssey that's always stuck in my head