The Biology of Golddiggers and The Men Who Love Them (Patreon)

This post was written in 2015. Re-reading it myself it feels a tad clumsily written,  but my point remains the same: golddiggers shouldn't be vilified. The only modern update I'd like to add to this post is that the economic and social capital imbalances between the sexes makes "gold digging" women more justified (read: economic coercion). 

Before marrying for love was a common concept, marriage- across continents and throughout time- was a business deal. A man gave his best goat or his fattest money bag to another man, who would in turn give his daughter away and foot the bill for the wedding. Legitimate offspring could be created, the family name could extend into the next generation (super important), and wealth could be accumulated by an individual party in the marriage. A man could essentially make an investment by getting married. He'd receive his wife's property, get some kids out of the deal, and might even receive a tax break. Women in many cultures were encouraged to strap on the ball and chain as soon as possible, lest they end up to be old maids or appear unwanted, bringing shame onto their families. This historic and systematic business deal set the stage for two very important players whom have yet to stop existing, even in the 21st century- gold diggers and the men who love them.

In today's society, women who leach off of the richest and most powerful men are shamed as predatory and evil- despite the never dwindling line of men who willingly dangle bags of money at them as bait. These are men who want extremely beautiful women to show off and fuck. The relationship is not parasitic. There are women who want to use men and men who want to be used (and do some using too)- popular websites offering sugar daddy relationships are a testament to this. Why are these kinds of arrangements so popular for some but make others extremely uncomfortable and hostile? Is it more familiar than some people might think? What does biology and history have to do with any of it? Lets break it down below. 

1) Numerous scientific studies show that men are consistently attracted to the same thing in the opposite sex, across cultures and in different countries. Men tend to go after young and good looking women (good looking is subjective to cultures and regions, however). Women tend to go after men with property and/or money. Why? It's biological. Men fall for the women most likely to produce good offspring, and women fall for men most likely to be able to take care of their offspring.

2) Historically, a woman finding a good match meant marrying into money. The desire to "move on up" through marriage is a millennial old mindset that wont go away simply because women are now making 77 cents to every mans dollar (cough cough). Some women are still being raised to marry doctors, lawyers, athletes, etc. Some women come from cultures or were raised in religions where they fiercely believe women are supposed to stay at home while the man supports the family. Why don't we attach the gold digger moniker to women who seek to marry well and live off of their husbands? Isn't that what a golddigger does? I always find it interesting when a proponent of traditional family roles chides golddiggers for not being independent. In many religions women are supposed to depend on their husbands financially, right? Wouldn't that make golddiggers more traditional than all of the "I don't need a man because im independent" chicks?

3) Feeling bad for the guy is foolish because 9 times out of 10 he knows what he's getting into. He's not a victim. Lets disregard the guys making a moderate salary at Best Buy as an HR rep or the guys leasing their luxury vehicles and eating Totinos pizza rolls for dinner- golddiggers chase after wealthy men. Let me do what I can to remind some of you fellas that your pockets aren't deep enough to be paranoid about getting played by a gold digging con woman. Your carefully budgeted lifestyle will not attract the kind of women you irrationally fear. Gold diggers usually have a certain aesthetic- fine as fuck. The men who love them know that their beauty comes with status- daps from the homies on acquiring such a fine specimen, for example- and they knowingly throw the dice when they choose to court them. The golddigger/sugar daddy relationship has clearly outlined benefits for both parties involved. Why just vilify the women? Rich men have a track record of choosing beautiful money hungry women throughout history- from the booming *courtesan trade in monarchic Europe, to the Geishas of Japan, to plenty of rappers who claim they didn't know better in vengeful reflection songs. 

Nobody thinks twice when a rapper, ballplayer, or CEO wants a beautiful woman on his arm (so everybody knows he's smashing). It's normal for a man to want a bad bitch. But it's also normal for these bad bitches to want these rich men. Maybe these kinds of relationships make some of us uncomfortable because we aren't rich or fine enough to ever be apart of them. But regardless of whether we find the men foolish or the women evil, golddiggers and the men who love them are natural parts of the relationship landscape- and never going away. 

XTRA: Courtesans were essentially professional golddiggers who filled various positions in court as official concubines (sidechicks) or even as wives of royalty. Often termed as high class prostitutes or mistresses, they were learned in culture and politics (or possessed immeasurable wit), could carry conversations that provided hours of entertainment to fickle royal men (who had their pick of women), provided physical beauty and services (good sex, duh), and were emotional crutches for their charges. In exchange they were pampered, given titles and land, fed, clothed, and obsessed over. Nell Gwyn is one of the most famous courtesans of Europe, having begun in the 17th century as a humble low-born actress and ending her life as the mother of two bastard sons with King Charles and an allowance of 1500 pounds a year. 

Bonus Fun Fact: Money is the leading cause of stress in relationships.