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Demo update (Patreon)

Published:
2023-07-29 12:11:52
Imported:
2023-07

Content

What's new?

-More of chapter 5! (it's a big one)

-See more of Mordred's squire training

-Duel with Elaine - or don't

-A very Elaine-centric update all-around, with both platonic and romantic moments!

-Accolon finally makes an appearance this chapter 

Hope you enjoy it!

Link: https://llamagirl.itch.io/the-bastard-of-camelot-beta 

New Password: NewUpdateBoc824

If you find any bugs or typos, have any suggestions or simply wish to leave me feedback, here's a handy dandy Google form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc7F8P0TtGRrucAzhU9j57I29IELyFBdcU7TxyyxQ9HMFsKgg/viewform?usp=sf_link 

Comments

Maydayknight

This update was awesome!! The training scene and the duel was super fun and engaging!! The whole situation plus infirmary afterward had my Mordred like 😳😳. And Elaine you knew exactly what you were doing in the infirmary!! My poor shy Mordred almost short circuited 🤣 Thanks for all your hard work Llama!! ^^

Anonymous

I don't know if that's the case or not but Elaine seems to get a bit of favoritism going on in the story. She got to show off a whole lot while also not showing any of the negative traits, and that sort of doesn't sit well with me. We have Galahad who is so loyal and inscrutable to his father that he is willing to demonize a grieving person, we have Gawain who is either clueless or willfully blind to Galahad's animosity towards Mordred. And then we have Elaine who is just as friendly as Gawain, athletically fit, smart, and can duel on the same level as a person who has serious intentions of being a knight and committing fully to the path while she is just doing it as a hobby. I just struggle to see her humanity. What does she struggle with? Galahad struggles with his father's preconceptions, Gawain is too nice for his own good, Gareth struggles between the love of his father and his mother. I don't know, it seems like she doesn't have negative traits shown despite having the same amount of (screen time?) as everybody else. And I love how you write characters Galahad and Gareth are my personal favorites. Galahad is strong but ignorant, Gawain is friendly but innocent, and Elaine can do it all and you have no reason to dislike her and that rubs me the wrong way.

Keith

I find the chapter great. Elaine needs the attention and character showing for one we've never seen her much save in the short stories (as far as I remember could be wrong). Two it's funny seeing my Mordred act just as awkward as I used to when dealing with a girl, especially one that can kick your rear such as Elaine. Also the fact that the both of them cannot act like they like each other in public in front of the rest of family. Morgana must be enjoying herself. Then again Elaine is the type to bottle her emotions and her own thoughts at least from what I've seen so far short story and main story wise. The fact she fails to do so with Mordred could be really telling of how she feels about them friend or otherwise.

llamaswriting
>>114219975

Thank you for speaking up on this, because I have been fearing Elaine may come off as favored. I do want to say though, Elaine does struggle with quite a lot this chapter, which I understand is not helpful for me to just say here if it's not something that can be gleaned from the text; but it's a matter that gets explored in the second half of chapter 5. Until then, I've tried to give little glimpses into the fact that she's clearly uncomfortable/reluctant about the whole marriage prospect (sounding awkward/unenthusiastic/unconvinced when the topics comes up, passing wedding preparations onto Isolde) but won't back down/wasn't given much of a choice to back down (it depends a bit on who you talk to, for Mordred to get a better grip on what's going on in the Beauregard family). But Mordred simply does not have the full picture, and Elaine isn't telling them either - because it's a personal matter, and she won't share it with them. Not even Gareth is told her full reasoning for a long while. Also, I'm curious now, because you mentioned that Elaine comes across as smart, and I wanted to know if you mean it in a booksmarts sort of way, or otherwise. If it's in a booksmarts way, I admit the issue lays with me by not making it more clear in the discussion about books that she has with Gareth. I wanted to showcase her as being knowledgeable on the topic of dragons (dragon customs, dragon-human history that includes dragonbloods), but otherwise she's not very...studious, so to say. She got in trouble quite a lot for neglecting her lessons, actually. Again, it's not brought up yet. Anyway, I went back and made it clear that she's only speaking of the topic mentioned before (haven't updated the demo yet though; I want to do a couple more edits first). Now, to address the scenes where I think the impression of favoritism arises (do tell me if there's any moments I didn't mention that feel the same way). Let's start with the dragon race. This...is a bit complicated because there's some muddled lore ideas here. My view of the dragons and their role has changed drastically from the inception of BoC, and I've been slowly working towards changing details that no longer align with what I have in mind for them. To keep a long story short, when it comes to dragon-riding, responsibility is put on the dragon rather than the human. There is co-operation, within the bounds of their limited communication (which is not the case for Mordred). I do think the scene makes it clear that Felix is the one who takes the credit for being a skilled racer; he's a professional, it's what he trains for, and that's what I want to showcase in that scene, along with the fact that Elaine is an experienced rider. Then, there's the duel scene. The point is to show Elaine as being surprisingly skilled. Yet while Mordred thinks it, the game doesn't really allow them to bring it up with more surprise, or ask where she learned from, so I'll make a note to add some choices and let Elaine expand a bit more on it. But...there's still some things she won't mention to them. And this brings me to a topic that's potentially spoilery - or maybe not, given that the ROs intro on itchio and tumblr does mention Elaine, as an adult, becoming a Knight of the Round Table. I won't say the exact circumstances of how she becomes one, cause spoilers, but I will say that swordfighting is not just a hobby to her, and all these scenes of her being shown as competent beyond what you'd expect from an amateur are laying groundwork for later. Sure, many are not taking her too seriously and do only see it as her hobby, since she isn't a squire and can't be a knight. But she is very serious about it all. And she's dedicated so much to a path that's closed off to her. Which is not a fact she tells Mordred, or Gareth, at least not right now. I did however struggle with whether I'm writing the scene in a realistic and satisfying way. Mordred is indeed a squire, but Elaine has been doing this with the same dedication, and sometimes behind people's backs. I want her to read as a capable fighter (and she is one year older than Mordred), but not enough to win over Mordred unless they hold back. So now I'm mulling over tweaking with those scenes and how the fight is presented.